Bluebird
Well-known member
No appraisal information! Gah! I’m going to continue to be loopy until we get past this step.
Today I didn’t get as much done as I had hoped with our long term planning. We are going to be meeting with a lawyer and trying to figure out how best to structure our wills and inheritance stuff. When I was with PunkRock things were a little less complicated, because he didn’t have anything in the way of assets, he had no children, and DarkKnight singly owned the house. Our current set up is making my head spin.
Part of the issue is that I have three adult children. DarkKnight is the father to LittleMichigan, but the older two belong to my first husband. In Maryland, assets are divided so that the first $40,000 of an estate goes to the legal spouse, and then they get 50% of the remainder - with the rest going to descendants. So even though both of my older children call him dad, they are not entitled to any sort of payout upon his death. This is not okay with any of us.
MisterMoonbeam has two adult stepsons, neither of them adopted by him. They are both married, live in different states, and one has a daughter and the other will have a daughter in January.
Both little girls are his granddaughters - he raised his stepsons since they were like 3 and 5 years old. Under Maryland law, they are entitled to NOTHING. If he were to pass right now, all of his assets go to his parents. Again, none of us are okay with this.
We started the process with our best ideas to skip probate and not have a will. (We are going to get wills, but we started with the stuff we could do easily first.) In the past we’ve set up health care proxies, and in the move they’ve gotten misplaced, so when I get back, we’re going to handle that again. That’s just printing out forms and having witnesses sign them.
I am listed as a POD (payable on death) beneficiary on DarkKnight & MisterMoonbeam’s separate bank accounts. This means I just need a death certificate and an ID, and I will have immediate access to those accounts. This was just a form and a visit to the bank to make it happen. This is good because if either of these guys died, I’d be able to transfer money and pay bills. Typing this reminded me that this paperwork is not set up for my account - I only have one, and that is shared jointly with DarkKnight. So he always has access, but we need to either add MisterMoonbeam to it, or we need to do this form!
Blackbird Manor is mortgaged in just MisterMoonbeam’s name. However, I am on the deed, listed jointly with rights of survivorship. This means if either of us pass away, the rest of the house is immediately owned entirely by the other. Nothing either of us writes in a will would alter this.
What has me stressed right now is that if MisterMoonbeam and I died together in an accident, DarkKnight would be in a mess. MisterMoonbeam’s half of the house would default to his parents, who don’t even know DarkKnight exists. Yikes! My half would go to DarkKnight, with the first $40,000 in equity going to him, and then the 50% value to him with the rest going to my three children, as listed above.
So, uh, right now that isn’t even a thing since we just bought the house and there isn’t that much equity. However, there are several issues that are major problems because of our poly selves. The first is of course being that MisterMoonbeam’s parents don’t know that DarkKnight exists. Shit would hit the fan and this would be a terrible time to have to try and explain things. Secondly, DarkKnight would be homeless AF fairly quickly. He can’t afford payments even if MMB’s parents let him assume it, which I don’t think could happen? Also, the life insurance he would be getting from me isn’t enough to pay things off either. Another issue is that he paid off one of MisterMoonbeam’s 401(k) loans, which was several thousand dollars, so MisterMoonbeam could get this house. Though it was 100% a gift, MisterMoonbeam wouldn’t want it never being acknowledged. And, there’s like at least $12,000 in credit card debt in DarkKnight’s name, that is all stuff that was purchased for the house. We have a combined total of like $22,000 in credit card debt that actually covers both properties. We are planning on clearing that entirely with the sale of DarkKnight’s old house, but that’s money that will disappear due to shared debt. DarkKnight is also going to be using some of the sale proceeds to fix $8,000 worth of plumbing issues at Blackbird Manor.
DarkKnight says he has been and still remains a socialist sort of guy, and he is absolutely okay with this. I am not okay with it though, and neither is MisterMoonbeam. So we need to address this in a will somehow.
Now, it could be argued that DarkKnight is benefiting from the things we’re purchased and repaired with the credit cards, but none of us is comfortable with it being 100% like this. We need to get this worked out and structured so he could be made whole in the future. Like, it might be listed in a will, or it could be just scheduled payments made to a retirement account.
Life insurance & savings. We have looked at this several times in the past. Right now, there is a policy that will pay 100% to me if MisterMoonbeam passes. His 401(k) balance also pays out 100% to me. We set this up so I could pay off the mortgage completely - or almost, I forget the amount. His stepchildren are listed as beneficiaries if both of us were to pass together. DarkKnight has two life insurance policies, and both pay out to me 100%, with LittleMichigan being the alternate, if he and I both die together. My small insurance policy ($25,000) pays out to MosterMoonbeam & DarkKnight 50/50, with LittleMichigan being the alternate again.
We are going to look at changing this, but right now our life insurance stuff all bypasses probate and we don’t need a will for it.
It’s a lot of stuff. I’m not sure how to structure some of it. I’m supposed to be doing a lot of reading - I want to make sure when we do pay to talk to an attorney, we ask the right questions!
Today I didn’t get as much done as I had hoped with our long term planning. We are going to be meeting with a lawyer and trying to figure out how best to structure our wills and inheritance stuff. When I was with PunkRock things were a little less complicated, because he didn’t have anything in the way of assets, he had no children, and DarkKnight singly owned the house. Our current set up is making my head spin.
Part of the issue is that I have three adult children. DarkKnight is the father to LittleMichigan, but the older two belong to my first husband. In Maryland, assets are divided so that the first $40,000 of an estate goes to the legal spouse, and then they get 50% of the remainder - with the rest going to descendants. So even though both of my older children call him dad, they are not entitled to any sort of payout upon his death. This is not okay with any of us.
MisterMoonbeam has two adult stepsons, neither of them adopted by him. They are both married, live in different states, and one has a daughter and the other will have a daughter in January.
Both little girls are his granddaughters - he raised his stepsons since they were like 3 and 5 years old. Under Maryland law, they are entitled to NOTHING. If he were to pass right now, all of his assets go to his parents. Again, none of us are okay with this. We started the process with our best ideas to skip probate and not have a will. (We are going to get wills, but we started with the stuff we could do easily first.) In the past we’ve set up health care proxies, and in the move they’ve gotten misplaced, so when I get back, we’re going to handle that again. That’s just printing out forms and having witnesses sign them. I am listed as a POD (payable on death) beneficiary on DarkKnight & MisterMoonbeam’s separate bank accounts. This means I just need a death certificate and an ID, and I will have immediate access to those accounts. This was just a form and a visit to the bank to make it happen. This is good because if either of these guys died, I’d be able to transfer money and pay bills. Typing this reminded me that this paperwork is not set up for my account - I only have one, and that is shared jointly with DarkKnight. So he always has access, but we need to either add MisterMoonbeam to it, or we need to do this form! Blackbird Manor is mortgaged in just MisterMoonbeam’s name. However, I am on the deed, listed jointly with rights of survivorship. This means if either of us pass away, the rest of the house is immediately owned entirely by the other. Nothing either of us writes in a will would alter this. What has me stressed right now is that if MisterMoonbeam and I died together in an accident, DarkKnight would be in a mess. MisterMoonbeam’s half of the house would default to his parents, who don’t even know DarkKnight exists. Yikes! My half would go to DarkKnight, with the first $40,000 in equity going to him, and then the 50% value to him with the rest going to my three children, as listed above.
So, uh, right now that isn’t even a thing since we just bought the house and there isn’t that much equity. However, there are several issues that are major problems because of our poly selves. The first is of course being that MisterMoonbeam’s parents don’t know that DarkKnight exists. Shit would hit the fan and this would be a terrible time to have to try and explain things. Secondly, DarkKnight would be homeless AF fairly quickly. He can’t afford payments even if MMB’s parents let him assume it, which I don’t think could happen? Also, the life insurance he would be getting from me isn’t enough to pay things off either. Another issue is that he paid off one of MisterMoonbeam’s 401(k) loans, which was several thousand dollars, so MisterMoonbeam could get this house. Though it was 100% a gift, MisterMoonbeam wouldn’t want it never being acknowledged. And, there’s like at least $12,000 in credit card debt in DarkKnight’s name, that is all stuff that was purchased for the house. We have a combined total of like $22,000 in credit card debt that actually covers both properties. We are planning on clearing that entirely with the sale of DarkKnight’s old house, but that’s money that will disappear due to shared debt. DarkKnight is also going to be using some of the sale proceeds to fix $8,000 worth of plumbing issues at Blackbird Manor.
DarkKnight says he has been and still remains a socialist sort of guy, and he is absolutely okay with this. I am not okay with it though, and neither is MisterMoonbeam. So we need to address this in a will somehow.
Now, it could be argued that DarkKnight is benefiting from the things we’re purchased and repaired with the credit cards, but none of us is comfortable with it being 100% like this. We need to get this worked out and structured so he could be made whole in the future. Like, it might be listed in a will, or it could be just scheduled payments made to a retirement account.
Life insurance & savings. We have looked at this several times in the past. Right now, there is a policy that will pay 100% to me if MisterMoonbeam passes. His 401(k) balance also pays out 100% to me. We set this up so I could pay off the mortgage completely - or almost, I forget the amount. His stepchildren are listed as beneficiaries if both of us were to pass together. DarkKnight has two life insurance policies, and both pay out to me 100%, with LittleMichigan being the alternate, if he and I both die together. My small insurance policy ($25,000) pays out to MosterMoonbeam & DarkKnight 50/50, with LittleMichigan being the alternate again. We are going to look at changing this, but right now our life insurance stuff all bypasses probate and we don’t need a will for it.
It’s a lot of stuff. I’m not sure how to structure some of it. I’m supposed to be doing a lot of reading - I want to make sure when we do pay to talk to an attorney, we ask the right questions!
It should be fun.
