Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

No appraisal information! Gah! I’m going to continue to be loopy until we get past this step.

Today I didn’t get as much done as I had hoped with our long term planning. We are going to be meeting with a lawyer and trying to figure out how best to structure our wills and inheritance stuff. When I was with PunkRock things were a little less complicated, because he didn’t have anything in the way of assets, he had no children, and DarkKnight singly owned the house. Our current set up is making my head spin.

Part of the issue is that I have three adult children. DarkKnight is the father to LittleMichigan, but the older two belong to my first husband. In Maryland, assets are divided so that the first $40,000 of an estate goes to the legal spouse, and then they get 50% of the remainder - with the rest going to descendants. So even though both of my older children call him dad, they are not entitled to any sort of payout upon his death. This is not okay with any of us.

MisterMoonbeam has two adult stepsons, neither of them adopted by him. They are both married, live in different states, and one has a daughter and the other will have a daughter in January. :) Both little girls are his granddaughters - he raised his stepsons since they were like 3 and 5 years old. Under Maryland law, they are entitled to NOTHING. If he were to pass right now, all of his assets go to his parents. Again, none of us are okay with this.

🌸 We started the process with our best ideas to skip probate and not have a will. (We are going to get wills, but we started with the stuff we could do easily first.) In the past we’ve set up health care proxies, and in the move they’ve gotten misplaced, so when I get back, we’re going to handle that again. That’s just printing out forms and having witnesses sign them.

🌸 I am listed as a POD (payable on death) beneficiary on DarkKnight & MisterMoonbeam’s separate bank accounts. This means I just need a death certificate and an ID, and I will have immediate access to those accounts. This was just a form and a visit to the bank to make it happen. This is good because if either of these guys died, I’d be able to transfer money and pay bills. Typing this reminded me that this paperwork is not set up for my account - I only have one, and that is shared jointly with DarkKnight. So he always has access, but we need to either add MisterMoonbeam to it, or we need to do this form!

🌸 Blackbird Manor is mortgaged in just MisterMoonbeam’s name. However, I am on the deed, listed jointly with rights of survivorship. This means if either of us pass away, the rest of the house is immediately owned entirely by the other. Nothing either of us writes in a will would alter this.

What has me stressed right now is that if MisterMoonbeam and I died together in an accident, DarkKnight would be in a mess. MisterMoonbeam’s half of the house would default to his parents, who don’t even know DarkKnight exists. Yikes! My half would go to DarkKnight, with the first $40,000 in equity going to him, and then the 50% value to him with the rest going to my three children, as listed above.

So, uh, right now that isn’t even a thing since we just bought the house and there isn’t that much equity. However, there are several issues that are major problems because of our poly selves. The first is of course being that MisterMoonbeam’s parents don’t know that DarkKnight exists. Shit would hit the fan and this would be a terrible time to have to try and explain things. Secondly, DarkKnight would be homeless AF fairly quickly. He can’t afford payments even if MMB’s parents let him assume it, which I don’t think could happen? Also, the life insurance he would be getting from me isn’t enough to pay things off either. Another issue is that he paid off one of MisterMoonbeam’s 401(k) loans, which was several thousand dollars, so MisterMoonbeam could get this house. Though it was 100% a gift, MisterMoonbeam wouldn’t want it never being acknowledged. And, there’s like at least $12,000 in credit card debt in DarkKnight’s name, that is all stuff that was purchased for the house. We have a combined total of like $22,000 in credit card debt that actually covers both properties. We are planning on clearing that entirely with the sale of DarkKnight’s old house, but that’s money that will disappear due to shared debt. DarkKnight is also going to be using some of the sale proceeds to fix $8,000 worth of plumbing issues at Blackbird Manor.

DarkKnight says he has been and still remains a socialist sort of guy, and he is absolutely okay with this. I am not okay with it though, and neither is MisterMoonbeam. So we need to address this in a will somehow.

Now, it could be argued that DarkKnight is benefiting from the things we’re purchased and repaired with the credit cards, but none of us is comfortable with it being 100% like this. We need to get this worked out and structured so he could be made whole in the future. Like, it might be listed in a will, or it could be just scheduled payments made to a retirement account.

🌸 Life insurance & savings. We have looked at this several times in the past. Right now, there is a policy that will pay 100% to me if MisterMoonbeam passes. His 401(k) balance also pays out 100% to me. We set this up so I could pay off the mortgage completely - or almost, I forget the amount. His stepchildren are listed as beneficiaries if both of us were to pass together. DarkKnight has two life insurance policies, and both pay out to me 100%, with LittleMichigan being the alternate, if he and I both die together. My small insurance policy ($25,000) pays out to MosterMoonbeam & DarkKnight 50/50, with LittleMichigan being the alternate again.

We are going to look at changing this, but right now our life insurance stuff all bypasses probate and we don’t need a will for it.

It’s a lot of stuff. I’m not sure how to structure some of it. I’m supposed to be doing a lot of reading - I want to make sure when we do pay to talk to an attorney, we ask the right questions!
We got the appraisal back! It came in right where we wanted it with no required repairs! 🥳🎉

All that is left is the title work, and I have zero fear about that part of things. Closing is August 4!
Hello from Hatteras!

Me, and SirGawain. We went on a dolphin cruise tonight. There were no dolphins to be seen. 😅


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I’m in a mood this morning. Making lists of lists I need to make is stressing me out. This vacation was scheduled at exactly the wrong time for me! I’m trying to relax but it’s really difficult. I think my period is over today, so yay?

All of the food here at the beach house is communal and I woke up wanting a bagel, but they were all gone when I got upstairs, including the ones I just bought a couple of days ago. That didn’t help my ugh feelings today. Someone arrived with Duck Donuts, so I had one of those those instead. It was good but omg sugary for the morning when I was already having an iced chai! I’m happy, but it was an additional temporary frustration.

I want to take a nap and I might, even though it is 10 am.

I’m waiting to hear if the buyers on our house wish to purchase the furniture. If not, I’m lining up people who want it. SirGawain is buying the sectional and chair, which means I need to go to his house next week and shampoo his carpet. No point of new furniture if the carpet needs done! MisterMoonbeam told me he needs to work in the office on Tuesday so I will probably have him drop me off there and I will spend the day cleaning in the basement.

One of the lists I need to make is where the furniture is going, who is taking it and when. I have two 4x4 Kallax shelving units in the old house basement that need to be disassembled to make them fit up the stairs. I think BugGirl wanted those but she may have changed her mind. I can’t remember if I wrote about it but things have been topsy turvy with her boyfriend so she may need to move into our new house with us. So we have been discussing that.
Woke up sick this morning. :( Yesterday I started in with a sore throat but it seemed to go away but this morning it was back with a vengeance, along with dizziness, a runny nose and me feeling feverish. I took two Tylenol and slept for like 4 hours. SirGawain brought me lunch around 3 pm when I woke up.

I’m going to get up to use the bathroom and take some more Tylenol. I feel not good at all. Gah! Why is this happening at the end of my vacation?!
I’m still really sick today. My throat is fire and I’ve had diarrhea on and off. My limbs all feel like they weigh 1000 pounds each. I’ve only left the bed to use the restroom. I’m feeling like this might be Covid, which would be crazypants because I literally had it a year ago. I would have got it at the Garb show last weekend. So far everyone here and back at home is okay, thank goodness. I will feel awful if anyone else catches it from me.

I haven’t been able to test because SirGawain didn’t want to drive 40 minutes to the Food Lion to buy one. I don’t blame him since it’s vacation, but his refusal when I asked made me feel small and a bother. He didn’t seem excited when he made me a ham sandwich for lunch, and I asked him 3 times over the space of an hour to please please go get me dinner. He was reading a book and told me I just needed to wait. Unfortunately, tonight was “leftover” night as we check out tomorrow and the family is trying to empty the fridge. Well, they ate everything. He brought me back a big bowl of spaghetti with red sauce, which he knew I couldn’t eat. I’m like, you realize that I have a sore throat and I’m coughing already and this will trigger my acid and make me want to die, right? He was apologetic, and took it back to the kitchen. He can’t eat it either because of his diet. He then offered me a bag of “beyond burgers” which aren’t something I eat when I’m not sick. Lol The only remaining option was the seafood paella, which has rice (which he can’t eat), and I am allergic to the fish.

Now it’s late and everything at this end of the island is getting ready to close, there’s zero DoorDash options, and he begrudgingly left to go drive and see if he can find something to feed me. I cried a little bit because I feel like a burden, and I’m sick and feel terrible. And I’m crazy hungry because it’s past 7 pm.

This is a terrible way to end vacation. I wish I was already home in my own bed and my cat Harry was there to snuggle me. DarkKnight AND MisterMoonbeam each told me separately that Harry was depressed and refusing to eat! He’s been sequestered in the master suite for months and he’s super happy to be my snuggle buddy. To think that he’s missing me is awful! It makes me feel bad. Each of my guys have been trading off spending the night in my room so he has someone to be with him. MisterMoonbeam sent me this picture of Harry getting brushes. They said he will only eat his meals if someone comes in and sits with him. This is crazy because he’s a hogger normally!

Home! MisterMoonbeam bought me a Covid test and it was negative, thank goodness!
So apparently I have Strep! I planned to go to Urgent Care tomorrow but then realized MisterMoonbeam would be taking the car, so I went tonight instead. The quick test was negative, but when the doctor took a look she said I had white spots and she felt confident with giving me antibiotics. She gave me a scrip for amoxicillin, which I picked up and took one right away. I’m pretty miserable - my throat is like fire. I had a low grade fever (99.3) which surprised me because I was saying how today was the first day I didn’t feel like I had a fever! I usually run regularly at 96.7 but oh well. I had a high blood pressure number too - 130/94. They told me not to worry about it and that it’s normal to be that way when ill.

I’m falling apart! I was happy with my weight though - I hadn’t had a number from a doctor’s office in a while. 213. I’m happiest at 210 so I was glad I’m in this range right now. Once I start dropping below 210 I just don’t feel like myself at all. I do wish I could lose some of my apron belly, but overall I am okay with my weight! I don’t think this illness will help - I’ve been eating milkshakes everyday because they feel so amazing on my throat! My lymph nodes on the right side in my throat are angry AF and enlarged right now.


I only got dressed today when going to Urgent Care. I figured they didn’t need to see my pajamas. Lol
My sore throat is less than it was - not as sharp - but now it’s just all dry and scratchy. I have a hoarse cough. Like wtf. Just stop already! I slept a good part of the day and watched Free Guy again with MisterMoonbeam while DarkKnight was gone helping seniors with computer issues.

DarkKnight and I are trying to decide what shows to see at the Kennedy Center next year, and we are definitely checking out Back to the Future! I think we’ve also decided on Message in a Bottle, which is a dance-theater show featuring songs from Sting. We might see a Kite Runner, or maybe Mama Mia! or possibly Company. We can’t narrow it down!

Closing on the old house hasn’t been scheduled yet. We are “tentatively” 2 pm on Friday. I just want it over! Tomorrow night the guys are moving the last of the furniture out so it’s ready for the final walkthrough.
I am so tired of being ill. It sucks so much.
We just got the clear to close for tomorrow! I can’t wait to have this house -selling process be over!
SOLD. Thank goodness! DarkKnight received the transfer and it was so nice to see the bank balance jump! He sat in my room tonight and I had him pay off 3 credit cards to zero - that was nice too. I have a tentative plan on spending/saving the overages we received. Some of it is fun but a lot of it is paying off all of our combined debt and making sure we are set up for the future. 🤩
So my sister’s ex-husband is in the hospital. He’s had one surgery and now they are awaiting results. I think I posted about how I reconnected with him at my nephew’s wedding - he was like an entirely different person. I have known him since he was 17, and it was amazing to see him so changed. Everyone says it is because of his girlfriend, and I have to say she is amazeballs.

Anyway, the ex hadn’t eaten in a few days and was down 40 pounds. They removed a lump in his testicle but there are nodes all in his lungs. They are pretty sure it is cancer. I wish there was something I could do, other than throw money, but I sent his girlfriend a Venmo this morning. Hopefully it helps take the edge off one stress. She hasn’t left his side, my nephew says, which means neither of them is bringing in money right now. They were already struggling.

I’m always lost in what to do in situations like this.
Lots going on!

I sent YellaBelly a message yesterday, telling him I am too busy to see him. He kept sending messages but our schedules just never mesh up. He was perfectly polite, and said he understood, and that he’s down to reconnect whenever I am available in the future, so understand that he’s an option. (Aww)

AdorkableDude is still checking in, and we have a dinner date tomorrow. Thursday he’s got his signing to close on the sale of his townhouse. He said he & his wife would like to come to game night Saturday. Cool!

MisterMoonbeam and I had a date night on Sunday night, which had us out shopping for bird feed and corn, browsing D&D books at 2nd & Charles, and dinner at Texas Roadhouse. We finally had sex - it had been a few weeks, since I was gone to OBX and then sick.

DarkKnight & I haven’t had a one-on-one date night in a while, but that’s as much his schedule as it is mine! Our interactions lately have all been about transferring money around so I can pay for things. Sunday we sat down and cleared $20,000 of credit card debt. Hurray for selling the old house!

We had a group date thingy last night - DarkKnight, MisterMoonbeam and I went to dinner at the Greene Turtle, and then saw the Barbie movie! It was really nice. I got teary at the end.

SirGawain and I have a date night scheduled for Thursday, but I am not sure what the plan is yet. I’m going to be at his house on Wednesday afternoon - DK & MM were busy this weekend, and took over the old house living room sectional & side chair so SirGawain has some new stuff in his space, and I’d like to start getting the living room area arranged nice. My hairdresser wants to start a cleaning business, so she’s been hired for 3 hours in his kitchen space at that same time so someone will be there, her first time over.
I started that last post yesterday, and when I came here to write some stuff today, I was like, oops - forgot to send it! Lol So then I had to update terms on it so it made sense.

So today I woke up early - like 5 am. After a bagel breakfast, I bought a TV online for my master bedroom, and then fell back asleep until 11. Then I got up and fed the cats - MisterMoonbeam is in a meeting. I texted him about our own lunch but so far he hasn’t responded. I can hear him talking and he’s definitely involved so it may be a while.

I have a long to-do list today - I deliberately didn’t keep the car so I would stay home and focus on stuff at home. I am buried in laundry, and I’d like to do some organizing in the basement. Actually, I have to - I have the plumbing company scheduled for 8 am on Thursday, and they’re going to be replacing our hot water heater and 20 feet of cast iron pipes! So, they need space to be carrying that stuff out and new stuff in, and we still have boxes along the entryway near the bottom of the stairs (my craft room). So that has to be moved, and today is the only time I have to do it.

I also need to shower - my plan is to eat lunch, shower, start laundry, and get into the basement! I’m thinking I wanna buy furniture for my craft room today, but we will see how that goes. Maybe MisterMoonbeam will go to IKEA with me tonight. DarkKnight has a board meeting for his choral group, so he definitely isn’t going.

Oh! Friday afternoon I get to go to this local upholstery shop and look at fabric! We are recovering and rebuilding our two loveseats in the atrium, finally. We’ve been quoted $600 each to make sure the frames are solid, build all new cushions and pillows, and recover it all in new fabric. The fabric is extra, and the first step is for me to pick it out. I’m super excited!


They’ve been hiding under sloppy ill-fitting covers for a while, and a mishmash of throw blankets. We call them our Golden Girls loveseats and they fit the space so well! I can’t wait to have them looking gorgeous.


Honestly, we might end up asking the company to look at our couch as well. It’s original to the house and is circa 1970. I love it so much but it definitely has seen better days. We’ve been looking at new couches but can’t find anything. I think I’m going to talk to my guys about keeping it and re-covering it. It’s massive - 102 inches long - and it has a pull out bed. We bought a new mattress for it but we all hate the material it’s covered in now. It wouldn’t hurt to get a quote - I have $2500 marked for a new couch and if we can keep this, that would be awesome.

Did I mention that we bought a 12 foot skeleton? It’s being shipped and I am super excited! We’re hosting a Halloween party in October, and I thought this would look amazing in our atrium.


The ceiling is supposedly 15 feet tall. I guess we will see! I can’t wait for it to arrive!

I’ve been brainstorming ideas for our party and I think we are going to pay someone to come do free tarot readings for our guests, and I’m going to attempt what we saw at a party last year: death notes! Basically it’s tiny eggs with scrolls inside, that you smash open and they tell you how you’re going to die. I ordered a bunch of blown quail eggs from Etsy, and once they arrive I’m going to type up all of the deaths in excel and print & cut them out. The internet says I can seal the eggs with modge podge, and that seems legit. Then, I’ll put them in a nest inside a large birdcage, complete with fake raven on top. I think it’ll be great!

So I went to the warehouse today and got to pick out the fabric for our atrium loveseats. I was so excited! I actually chose a darker green shade that has some stretch and looks like an indoor/outdoor fabric. I brought home a sample of that and another option, and was delighted to discover that the green one matched the covers I had been using! Lol So that was an easy pick. DarkKnight said he didn’t care at all, and MisterMoonbeam said he liked it just fine. Yay!


I was choosing from “leftover” rolls that the upholstery company keeps in this huge room on carts. They’re only $8/yard. If I couldn’t find one, they have lots of books to look through and pick fabrics from, but those are like $30-$40/yard, so I can say that there was much relief that I love the one I picked. Lol We need 16 yards to do the two loveseats.

I asked about them doing our couch and they are going to quote it on another time.

Tonight I had a movie date with DarkKnight - we went and had roasted chicken at the Dutch Market, and then saw the new Ninja Turtles movie. It was a fun time!

Actually, I have had a busy week so far - I had a date night last night with SirGawain and we went to Dutch’s Daughter in Frederick, after I spent 3 hours at his house with a cleaner. She actually was there the day before that too - and I was as well, for another 3 hours. Lol So on Wednesday I did that and then met up with AdorkableDude, and we ate at BJ’s Brewhouse and then went to the mall, walked around, and then I got two new rocks at the store in there.

Here’s a pic of me. My hair is still very yellow at the bottom, from last year when I had teal ends! I got a bunch cut off earlier this month, but I am going to go in and see if I can get it whitened and brightened. It’s still naturally silver on top, but underneath, my hair is still darker. I’m thinking about doing like super dark underneath and then pulling the silver down over. Hmmmm. Not sure yet.


The plumbers did their thing and Blackbird Manor is all set with our pipes, new hot water heater and sewage ejector pump. Apparently that last one had the motor MELTED and there was definitely no way to fix it! $7038 later and things are amazing here. Thank god because that’s all I am spending this year.

Ugh, except I can’t back that up - the electrician will be here next week to install 4 outlets in DarkKnight’s office. Lol We’ve had a discussion and I’m going to get a quote for installing a pot light at the base of the stairs, and 6 lights in the game room. Right now there are a lot in there, but right over our main table there’s a dark spot and it’s annoying, as much as we play games! If it’s around $500, I’m going to schedule it. Honestly, if it’s less than $800, I’m going to do it!

What else? I’m spending a chunk of money next week on the electrician, but also on fixing the car. I think the drivers side front wheel bearing is going. This will be our first major repair on this car - it’s a 2019 and we’re the original owners. We will see when I take it in - I have an appointment scheduled. Also, Poppy, our blind kitty, has a vet check up and that will be a $100 or so.

That’s all next week though! This weekend is busy, but fun! Tomorrow both DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam have blood work they need done so they are leaving to go to the lab first thing. MisterMoonbeam is getting STD tested as well, since he is due, after hooking up with his Comet at the end of May. We don’t think there are any issues, but it’s good to be safe. :)

Anyway, after blood work, they’re going to bring home Starbucks for breakfast, and then we’re going to the Fairgrounds yard sales. At 11, DarkKnight is picking up my son, and then we’re going to the Flavor Festival. DarkKnight won free tickets. MisterMoonbeam has said he doesn’t want to go, so he will stay home and do whatever. Lol We are planning a game night tomorrow evening. AdorkableDude (unprompted and unasked) told me that he and his wife would like to come again, which is fine. They sold their house on Thursday, and they’re preparing to move for next weekend, so they need a break! They’re not 100% certain, which is also fine. If they don’t come, we have some smaller games my nesting partners and I want to try on our own!

Because of this, SirGawain is going to skip and come hang out at my house on Sunday instead. Mostly the plans for Sunday are getting my Mom’s stuff staged in the garage, as it’s supposed to be all picked up on Monday, as my brother is renting a truck to come and get it. So the guys are going to work on that. My friend will be over in the afternoon, as we have more planning and logistical stuff to discuss and do for my jewelry-making party that I am hosting next Saturday with her.

Gah! I guess I should sleep tonight instead of continue to type.
Best laid plans don’t ever follow through! Lol

Game night ended up being just my nesting partners and I, and that actually worked out because I skipped Flavor Fest and slept all afternoon! DarkKnight and I did go to the yard sale thingy, but it was super hot out and there was no way I could have handled the outdoors any longer! He said my son and him had a good time but agreed that I would have melted!

We played Azul: Stained Glass of Sintar. It had been in the shrink for like 4 years, I think? Crazypants! It was fun and though I lost spectacularly, I would absolutely play again.

This morning so far I woke up, ate a blueberry muffin for breakfast, and then showered. In between that, I refilled the bird feeders (well, the hanging platform and the ground feeder for the squirrels and rabbits!) and talked to MisterMoonbeam about the schedule for today.

I’m currently waiting to hear from SirGawain about when he is coming over. I’m disappointed that he hasn’t reached out.

We’re not doing ANYTHING with my mom’s stuff today. I reached out to my brother and he was like, oh I can’t make it tomorrow. So like, he wasn’t even going to tell me?! Instead he said he’s coming Saturday. Uh, NO. I have a jewelry party planned then and they’ll be like 20 people here. I’m not moving cars and clearing my garage out at the same time. He got pissy but I’m sorry, you gotta make sure dates work and just don’t assume! I gave him a list of dates but he didn’t respond.

My friend is coming over at 2:30 to do more with the setup for our jewelry making party this weekend. I’m really excited about it. I’m probably going to hire someone to help me deep clean at least one day this week. My house actually isn’t bad, but I want it to look nice! :)

Tonight is the D&D 5E session zero meet up. MisterMoonbeam is going to DM and he won’t talk of anything else. He’s really excited, and I’m excited for him. I’m going to be a Kenku rogue. I make maps. Right now I’m waiting for DarkKnight to get home from grocery shopping and then I’m popping out to Michael’s to buy some scroll sort of paper to draw some basic ones up. My thing is that since I can only mimic and not really speak, I listen in on other people’s conversations and then draw maps based on those. So my maps are kinda wrong. 😂 It should be fun.
OMG - this month marks TEN YEARS I’ve been writing in this journal. A decade. That’s crazypants! Realizing this fact just triggered my memory that I have ANOTHER journal that I wrote in online for a very long time, which was closed down because the website closed down. I have it saved as a text file on my computer - I should open it up and do some reading! I wonder if I can get it onto my Kindle somehow. Lol

Anyway, it was started back when I was trying to conceive a biological child - I was in my early 20s. It then shifted shortly to an infertility journal, but it didn’t take long to figure out my first ex-husband was 100% sterile due to his karotype having a mosaic XXY. So then it changed to become an adoption journal, and it then chronicled years of parenting my oldest two kids after they joined my family from foster care. I think I will ask DarkKnight about it this evening!

Thank you to everyone who still reads my ramblings here after ten years. I would be interested to know if anyone still follows this at all. Sometimes I feel like I’m just sending words out into the ether and it’s just me who is keeping up to date with my words.

Here’s a pic of me from ten years ago:


And here I am now: