Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

[Bluebird]

Day 2 of Mythicon with MisterMoonbeam






I held several birds, including this crow! I also participated in drum circle for the first time, but I can’t post the pics as other people are in them. I had a lot of fun - it was weird because I have always avoided it.

My first ex husband was a drummer in a rock band and though he played on several kits over the years, there were always bongos and different other hand drums in the house. I just never even attempted to play one.

When I met MisterMoonbeam, he owned four drums, and I encouraged him to attend local drum circles as he was trying reconnect with his paganism and integrate into a local community. I deliberately never went, as I always try to make sure my partners have outlets and activities that don’t include me. I want them to have some independence and not feel crowded by me. I’m clingy AF so it’s important in my mind that I step the fuck back so our relationships stay healthy and balanced. Especially since my nesting partners are introverts!

Anyway, this was just supposed to be a photo drop, but oh well. lol MisterMoonbeam was ecstatic when I mentioned I might want to attend a drum circle at Mythicon, and I really enjoyed it. We’re going to go to another one tomorrow morning! He says he wants me to participate in these locally with him if I like it - it’s not an activity he wants any sort of separateness with any longer.

Frost Faerie Ball

 

[Bluebird]

Day 3 of Mythicon with MisterMoonbeam








I never in my life have aspired to own fur, much less red fox fur. Now I own a matched pair in a shoulder pelt. I love it so fucking much.

 

[Bluebird]

Mythicon was a really good time; I enjoyed my weekend escape with MisterMoonbeam! It was a little bit torturous, as he had my engagement ring with him the entire time but he did not propose. He said it was up to him when he felt like doing it, and he was waiting for the perfect timing. Which is entirely his prerogative but damn.

He introduced me to an old friend of his as “my future wife” which had me floored - I was very surprised to hear him use that as a descriptor. I guess it made sense as we were unlikely to see this person again before our wedding.

I managed to be without great pain for the first two days, though I did wake up Sunday morning with a level of like a 4. I took Advil and it was soon back down to the regular 2 sort of generalized achiness. Too much info in the next paragraph - so skip if you’re not into gross descriptors.

You were warned - shit talking ahead! My poops for the entire weekend were dark and smeary and uh, sorta thick? Stinky too! I didn’t have gas at all, but when I had to go, my bowels did not want to give up anything and it was just this nasty thickness that would not come out and then it took like 15 minutes of wiping to clean my ass. I missed having a bidet, that’s for damn sure. I’m not sure why this has happened. It actually wasn’t just for this weekend - I’d say it was the last couple of weeks. I’m good at getting enough fiber, so I’m not sure what is up. Anyway, I wanted a record. lol

Onward is not poop related.

I had a blast dancing with MisterMoonbeam at both balls. We literally forgot almost absolutely everything about Salsa! Like, we spent several hundred dollars and both of us have no idea what the fuck we were doing with that! So we stuck to the Hustle, and a little bit of Foxy. We saw Kindred Crow, SJ Tucker and Frenchy & the Punk. Oh, and a band called Sweet Maple during the day on accident - we wanted to sit for a bit and I did a page in my Reverse Coloring book while we rested. It happened to be in a room where they were performing. lol I absolutely loved Frenchy & the Punk - they played a Cure cover and it was so much fun!

I am almost all the way done with unpacking. I started organizing my garb closet better while putting things away yesterday, so it took a while! I need to better store my accessories - masks, belt accoutrements and hats, stuff like that - as those are just shoved randomly on shelves. Maybe later today!

MisterMoonbeam took the day off. He has a Beginning Birding class (I bought him for Christmas) today at 10 am, and for the next few Mondays. (I did check with him if he was cool taking off the mornings the next few weeks before making the purchase.) DarkKnight is at actual work - they don’t close for the holiday.

I have a lot of phone calls to make and stuff is actually closed, so I’m just going to make lists and focus on that tomorrow. TheEngineer wants to meet up tomorrow but I’m not sure what the schedule is this week so I wanna hold off on committing until I have a good sense of what’s on the calendar already. I know I don’t have therapy this week.

 

[Magdlyn]

I'm so glad you felt well enough to enjoy Mythicon!

 

[Bluebird]

Ugh so lots of not so good things awaited my return home. Our poly triad friends in Virginia have split. The husband has moved out and has his own apartment, and the wife is in their old shared home. The woman in the middle is now splitting her time in both spaces, but also remains in the house.

This triggered me so hard, y’all. It has absolutely nothing to do with me at all, yet I was falling apart after hearing this. The husband had just started dating a monogamous woman and everyone was nervous about it. 100% there are other issues involved, but looking at it, the same exact thing happened here as it did with me - the monogamous person was used as an escape route.

FUCK. Why don’t people be honest with themselves and go to therapy before blowing up their lives?

I am anxious to hear more about the logistics too. The couple sold their shared home recently, and the new house has major foundational issues that will cost mid-five figures at least to fix. Her parents shelled out a lot as well to assist and it seems like it’s going to be an absolute clusterfuck to separate out or sell in any way.

Not my problem but I am always interested in how poly folks structure their finances. Plus we absolutely love these guys and it’s breaking my heart. I’m not sure how to even reach out, to be honest. The middle woman (I don’t know how else to call her here without giving her an actual name) messaged me to tell me, saying she wanted one of the couple to reach out but she needed a friend and HAD to tell me. The husband is supposed to be contacting MisterMoonbeam soon. He’s MisterMoonbeam’s old metamour - he dated MisterMoonbeam’s late wife for like 8 years.

 

[Bluebird]

I also returned home to a letter from social security. I’m not sure if I wrote about this previously, but during the pandemic my son quit his job and then later started a new one without informing me or his worker. There was an organization that he worked with that reported his wages. I just assumed they were still doing this. Well, he started working too many hours and his disability has been cut.

He has an overpayment of $23,000. Since I am his rep payee, I have 30 days to repay this. I completed a waiver, which went to the local office. I’m awaiting a reply, though the internet says no way in hell this will be forgiven.

I got a letter that says I need to pay it, but it’s on the federal level. So I called and they put that on hold as they didn’t know I had applied for a waiver. They said the local office hasn’t logged the request yet. Just my luck they mishandled it or something.

We have brainstormed a way to pay this (taking a loan from MisterMoonbeam’s 401(k) later this year) but it still sucks. I am hoping it will be forgiven but we are preparing for the worst.

 

[Bluebird]

I was home all day today and MisterMoonbeam is sick. He took a Covid test but that was negative, so we are figuring it’s just general Con Crud. I am feeling a little bit not-so-well but it’s not bad.

Today we had our HVAC company come out and do a checkup. Geez, did I post about why on this earlier? I honestly can’t remember! Anyway, our electric company sent us an estimated bill for $1300, after never cracking $300 all year. I called and they said they’d rebill it, and what they did was remove the “estimated” label and write “actual” instead. When I called to ask WTF they said to wait and there would be another rebill. Well, there was - for $2500.

So we had the HVAC out to look and see if anything was going wrong.

We pay for a maintenance program through a company that covers four of the systems in our house: electrical, heating, cooling, and plumbing. As part of this program, service calls are $49 and if there’s work to actually be done, that gets waived. They also do one free look-over per year on each system, and there’s a 15% off the top discount on everything as well. Pretty sweet.

When we bought our house last year, we had them do a bunch of plumbing stuff, so we paid for this maintenance plan up front for 12 months so we wouldn’t have to worry about it. So that’s nice. lol

Anyway, we ended up with three technicians at once. They spent quite a bit of time here - they were very thorough. I was very happy with the service and would very much recommend it! The entire visit cost us $0 since we have this preventative maintenance plan.

We have a heat pump system. I personally don’t know any specifics. It’s newer, as it was replaced during the pandemic. When we bought the house last year, we were told all of the old existing baseboards were disconnected and that they no longer worked.

Today we found out:

The part of the heat pump unit that is outside is in tiptop shape.

The part of the unit that is inside of our attic crawlspace is in great shape as well.

The old baseboards in the atrium have a separate control and they are absolutely still working. They were set to off, so we haven’t used them and haven’t felt they were needed, so no worries.

The old baseboard heater in my master bathroom has a separate control and it still works. It was set to off and there are no issues with that for now.

My bedroom suite is always much hotter than the rest of the house. Apparently it has a separate thermostat still wired into the old system, and there is radiant heat in the ceiling. It’s been pegged at 90 degrees all winter with none of us even knowing it existed. The thermostat is located right next to the sliding door, so it’s probably been triggered a lot to be on, as we have been opening the slider to cool down the room. Gah!

The emergency heat part of the heat pump is working as it should. It didn’t seem to be stuck on, or have anything that stood out as an issue. The thermostat itself was operating fine. I asked about upgrading it, but they recommended we keep it as is.

Our basement heat system is an absolute mess, as everything *is* actually disconnected. Right now there is no heat down there at all (which we knew already). They recommend putting in a ductless system when we decide we have an extra $10,000 or so. That isn’t this year.

So, with the electric company rate increase, combined with colder temperatures *AND* the separate heating system in the master bedroom being cranked up, all contributed to the high electric bill we received recently. The technicians agreed that they didn’t feel it should be *THAT* high, so after they left, I called and made an appointment for our free electrical inspection. We have someone coming out Monday afternoon now. Other good news - if there is a cancellation before then, our member status puts us at the very top of the waiting list to snag an earlier spot.

So yeah, we learned stuff! It was good to hear that our system is operating as expected and we put a stop to the insane heat in my bedroom - omg it’s so great to have a normal temperature in my bedroom tonight!

For Magdlyn:






Here’s our blind kitty, Poppy! For some strange reason she was hanging out in the tub in our hallway bathroom tonight.

 

[Bluebird]

Well since I am not tired yet, here are some photos I shared on Facebook earlier today. I decided to clean up some of my master bedroom and actually make the bed. I have 25+ globes in my living room fireplace, but I have a small little stash in this space still!



Harry says hi! I can’t tell you how amazing it is to have this large space just for myself. It’s my home within my home. lol



I love my reading nook so much! I hang out here a lot - my Kindle is always on the stand, ready to go!



View looking back the other way. Tomorrow if it’s not terrible out, I’m going to open up the garage and see if I can find my wallpaper scorer and paste spray. I wanna take down all of the wallpaper along this far wall - it’s gross-looking around the light switches and there is zero way to clean it. It’s been like that since we moved in! I think if I just do along the far wall, and get it all down tomorrow, I can maybe prime and paint it over the weekend.
Then this end of the room will pop a little more!



I took this last photo later on in the day, when I had cleared off my vanity a bit. If you look in one of the earlier pictures, you can see the cat supplies were just out on the floor, and I found a bin to store them in.



A bit ago, I did some cord management here and I discovered a dildo plugged into the desktop OMG. There’s a part of the top that lifts up near the back and there’s a little cubby that has two outlet spaces and two USB spots. Well apparently I have been charging a sex toy for a bit. If MisterMoonbeam was feeling better, I’d probably have some fun with it tonight.

 

[Magdlyn]

Thanks for the kitty pix! I also love the vintage Harvest Gold tub and tile! What year is your house, again? I was thinking it was '80s, but maybe it's older.

 

[Bluebird]

Thanks for the kitty pix! I also love the vintage Harvest Gold tub and tile! What year is your house, again? I was thinking it was '80s, but maybe it's older.

What I know about Blackbird Manor & its owners:

It was custom built in 1966 for a Jewish pharmacist who moved here to escape the holocaust as a child. (All of our doorways have mezuzahs.) He passed at age 90 at the country club playing tennis. He was honored by a city in Germany with a street named after him, as he donated lots of money to maintain and rebuild a Jewish cemetery there.

We have the original 1965 blueprints for the house! The architect had attended design school in Baltimore, but dropped out to run the local feed store when his family needed help. Apparently there are a few homes in our development which were designed by him. I wish there was a way to figure out which ones! Our neighborhood has a block party every summer so I am hoping to talk to people and see if they know who their architects were!

There was a remodel in 1987 and we have the blueprints for that as well. At that time, my master bedroom was expanded to create the reading nook - the sliding glass door was reused from the dining room. Up until that point, the atrium was just a hexagonal outdoor patio! They also updated the kitchen to its current state, and the powder room was carved out of the yellow hallway bathroom. They also stole a closet from MisterMoonbeam’s bedroom, and expanded the master bath to add both the tiny shower and massive jetted tub.

After the owner’s death, his wife moved to Arizona to live with one of her adult children, and the house was bought by a young female lawyer. She “redecorated” the powder room and replaced all of the carpets in the house except for one bedroom. (Absolutely subpar work and choices.) She also replaced the original blue vintage tile in the downstairs bathroom with a cheap shower surround. Then she moved to Florida and the house was basically abandoned for a year to a renter who did nothing and left the lawn unmowed. We bought it a few months later.

The neighborhood either calls our place the ORIGINAL OWNER’S LAST NAME’S House or “the house with the overgrown lawn.” The first person we hired was a local guy to cut our grass weekly. Since we’ve been here for almost a year now, I’m hoping we can soon ditch that last title! Our development doesn’t have an HOA but every single place is pristine here, so I understood how it got the label.

Before I have my surgery, I’m hoping to repaint the front steps and repair some very minor wood damage we have going on. We purchased a chainsaw so MisterMoonbeam has plans to remove a rhododendron and trim back the bushes on either side of the entryway. I want it to look nice, to again get people to forget the year and a half of neglect of the interim owner!

Here you can see the chipped step. We just need some warmer temps so I can put down some wood putty, sand and paint.



I think this pic shows the two bushes on either side of the front stoop, encroaching on the entryway! The tree that’s getting cut down is on the right - large bush that’s up against the house and is as tall as the roof! Right now the roots aren’t damaging the crawl space, but we need to chop it down soon so that stays true!

 

[ref2018]

I wouldn't put up pictures of your house because your ex-BFF's boyfriend could use Google Street View to find your address.

 

[Bluebird]

I wouldn't put up pictures of your house because your ex-BFF's boyfriend could use Google Street View to find your address.

OMG

Well we do have cameras and some uh, other security measures, so if he shows up I’m not overly concerned. I’d be super surprised if he discovered this journal anyway - he’s not the type that reads.

 

[Bluebird]

One thing that happened at Mythicon that still has me in a bit of a big smile is that we met another polycule! Both MisterMoonbeam and I are part of a local Facebook ENM meetup group, and I posted that I couldn’t attend a cuddle party that weekend, and some commented that this chick was there with her polycule, so I went and found her specifically. (She was vending with her partners so it wasn’t difficult.) We had actually spent a few minutes chatting with her nesting partner the day prior, so that was kind of funny.

She introduced us to another parter, and mentioned that her husband was somewhere on the premises but we’ve have to find him later. It was a nice conversation and we friended each other afterward.

Well, her husband found us at the Frost Faerie ball and quickly introduced himself. OMG it was instant attraction between the two of us - you know when you feel that zing? I was pretty sure he felt it too, but both of us were casual and upbeat and soon MisterMoonbeam and I left to meet up with our other friends or get water or something. We didn’t see them at all on the final day, though he also friended me on Facebook.

Well, Monday morning I woke up to a good morning text, and have every day since from this guy. He’s sweet, interesting and funny. We have good chemistry, that’s for sure. Unfortunately, even though his polycule and legal wife are local, he’s currently living 5 hours away and will be for the next two years! He says he travels back twice a month, but damn.

Oh, and then there is the whole not dating thing because I am literally falling apart. He knows this, but we are still chatting. He reminds me of YoungNorse - I have zero doubt I’d be trying to date him if I was available, but I’m not right now. It makes me sad. I have a lot of low-key NRE sort of excitement, but it just feels disappointing overall.

He’s super cute though - and not at all my regular type.

True story - we were talking yesterday about hobbies and such and he mentioned being into percussion. I told him my first ex husband was a drummer in a rock band for quite a while and how MisterMoonbeam goes to drum circles. Oh, and how I’ve never even picked up a drumstick but MMB and I went to a drum circle on Saturday morning and I had a blast at it even though I wasn’t very good - and did he get to attend any of the sessions?

Y’all he told me to look at my posted photos from that morning, and he is legit sitting right next to me in every single one.

It’s hilarious because I remember after looking at them originally, I was like this cute guy is staring at me - I must have shit rhythm and he’s lamenting taking this chair. MisterMoonbeam is like, nah girl, he’s looking at your tits.

When I told him this he said he wasn’t sad that there was a pretty lady seated next to him! With a winky face. Like, what a crazy random happenstance. I didn’t know his polycule even existed until that afternoon.

Anyway, it’s been an experience. I wish I was a different place in life right now.

 

[Magdlyn]

You'll be in a different place soon enough! Put a pin in this for now.

All of this though, is the perfect example for poly newbies who lament not being able to meet other poly people. Their dating apps don't work. There's no one in their town.

Get involved in nerdy shit. Go to cons. Network. Get your ass out there. Have fun. Be outgoing. Have patience. Eventually you'll meet dating prospects.

 

[Bluebird]

So I am still sick. We hosted D&D tonight with MisterMoonbeam and I on the end of the table. Our full party is now 8 people! That’s the max the table can hold and can be juggled! It was a good time. I took a Covid test yesterday that was negative and really all I have is a really really bad sore throat. I felt like yesterday was the worst.

Today was much improved. I slept most of the day and put on clothes and felt like a human for a while. I haven’t taken a photo of the day for quite a while, so I had DarkKnight take a picture before heading to bed.

I don’t know what my weight is so I will step on the scale tomorrow after showering in the morning. The shirt is an XL and the pants are a loose 14. I have some fairly bad body dysmorphia going on, so I will probably talk to the therapist some more about that later on this week. I’m not sure it can be worked through until after the surgery, since that’s going to shake stuff up a bunch then. It probably makes sense to focus on other issues.



I’m looking forward to doing my hair - it’s so long now! I’ll be coloring the ends at the beginning of April. It’s two different colors right now - it may look like there’s a shadow, but that line is literally where my natural silver meets the bleached ends! I plan to have the ends dipped in navy/light blue for the wedding.

OMG y’all - MisterMoonbeam surprised me with a new Bad Dragon! I was super shocked because I didn’t think he’d waste his spending money on something like that right now. I only own a small Ridley, and I posted a picture previously of that. I think it’s an amazing size and love it lots. Well, he bought me a medium Orochi and it’s crazy huge, omg. I can’t imagine how big a size large would be! Anyway, he bought me the signature colorway, so if you go to the Bad Dragon website and look at their dildos, and click on Orochi, you can see the “signature” bronze. It’s so pretty! Of course I am sick and have not tried to take this entire thing yet but I am looking forward to it.

 

[Bluebird]

Ugh. Yesterday was awful. The sore throat is much improved, and taking regular Advil has helped. However, I now am coughing some yellow-green gunk. Which I should have expected - MisterMoonbeam went to Urgent Care last week for a sinus infection, and has been on antibiotics. He’s much improved, but now apparently I am heading downhill. I don’t have a sinus issue though.

Coughing hurts. Not just in my lungs but the pain in my abdomen - gah!

I’m writing this while sitting in the urgent care waiting room. Hopefully I can get some tessalon pearls. Monday night was the worst - I got no sleep at all. Last night though I had found an old prescription of the pearls and oh - I was out the whole night.

 

[Bluebird]

So I’m now on day 2 of my Zpack. I also now have an active prescription for Tessalon Pearls. I still feel fairly miserable.

I’m home alone today. I woke up at 6:30 with a massive headache. I took my meds and some Advil, went back to bed and then woke up at 10:30. Still had a massive headache. I took some more Advil and I’m finally feeling like it’s manageable and I will survive.

I still don’t feel great though.

 

[Bluebird]

Got my period yesterday. Counting down to my last ever period, I guess. I’m run down and tired from being sick, and this certainly doesn’t help. Tomorrow will be my last day for my antibiotic.

I woke up today feeling much improved, but yet it was almost 10:30 am and MisterMoonbeam was in the shower. That never happens - he’s usually the one sleeping in late!

We spent the whole day together, running errands: the bank, a stop at a local furniture & decor consignment store, the Farm store to restock corn for the deer, and then lunch at a small local pizza place.

We then paid to go to the Home Show in town - a big conference center full of contractors and professionals! We had a plan this year - we got contacts for rebuilding our deck (and adding a wheelchair ramp), we talked to two landscape designers (we want a plan to help us know what to focus on in different phases of planting indigenous bushes and foliage for birds), and two guys who were selling solar panel systems. We left there feeling very good about house plans and improving our property.

Afterward we went grocery shopping for one of my old volunteers - her husband passed away and she asked me for help with toilet paper, paper towels, laundry soap, dryer sheets and trash bags. I spent about $80 and then dropped it all off to her. I liked this much better than purchasing a bouquet of flowers.

We hit up Starbucks and just got home. DarkKnight had gotten back from his practice and he has a rare night off! I’m excited to actually see him! The three of us are going to go see the new Dune movie tonight. Our plan is to eat at the theater.

I got a message today from MisterMoonbeam’s daughter-in-law in Arizona - the one who just had a baby. Well, they are moving back to Houston. She had said last week that they would probably go back at the end of their lease in October, but now it’s they are moving on March 12th! MisterMoonbeam and I are very concerned but there is t much to be done. His son cannot keep a job and he’s in his 30s. It makes sense for them to move back in with her parents, who are both retired.

However, this means we won’t be seeing the new baby, since it’s looking more and more that we will be in Phoenix in April. My heart is broken over that - even if my surgery goes well, I won’t be flying anywhere next Fall or later in the winter. MisterMoonbeam and I were talking a little about Philadelphia in December, assuming of course that I don’t need that much chemo. We also talked about maybe renting a block of rooms or an AirBnB in Louisiana next March - it’s sort of equidistant between his two sons, with the e other being in North Florida and now the other back in Houston. But it’s still a 4-hour drive for both of them. But we will not be able to afford to travel to see both next year, so setting up a house for a week where everyone can stay seems like a good course of action.

 

[Bluebird]

I have six affirmations I repeat to myself each morning, that have been a part of me for like a decade.

I take charge of my life.

I respond instead of react.

I forgive myself.

I choose to be happy.

All false messages about me are now dissolved with total grace.

I forgive every person who has ever undermined my self esteem.

A few years ago, I added another:

My future is toward the best possible me.

I can’t sleep again tonight, but I’m doing my best to affirm that I’m doing my best. If that makes sense. I don’t feel like being very introspective at the moment though. I should probably try sleeping!

The Dune 2 movie was okay. It was faithful to the source material. The sounds and sets were amazeballs. It was also spastic AF. I’ve seen enough of Timothee Chalamet striding purposefully toward his future, holy shit. How many times does his silhouette need to be shown? Gah! Overall I enjoyed it.

My period is still relatively light. I hope it leaves soon. My chest hurts when I cough. So do weird parts of my abdomen. I have sporadic cramps and I don’t know if they’re from my period or from my fibroids. I think this bad gas is here to stay - just adjusting how I am sitting will have me making big burps, and I fart so much, OMG.

I should probably write more things that are meaningful. SmoothJazz has been texting me a bit. I think I posted a while back that he got married, and was excited to share all about his new girlfriend with me. All of that was a bit ago. Well, he let me know a few days ago that his girlfriend was in a coma from COVID complications and she needed a liver transplant or she was going to die. Well, she caught a secondary infection and the transplant was canceled. She died. I had shared the GoFundMe when he had told me she was on the transplant list. I feel so bad for him!

You would think this would kickstart me on actually completing tasks with my own final planning but I just can’t. It is stressing me out so much. One of the things is have done though is spend a lot of money on a holiday outfit for Yuletide. It’s like the only thing I can imagine doing in the future - like, it’s important to be positive and have something to focus on. So I am fixated on finishing this winter outfit, since I won’t be able to attend any events before then.

 

[Bluebird]

Interesting development. MisterMoonbeam heard today that his trip to Arizona isn’t happening this Spring - NASA wants it in the Fall. He usually travels in March and September, so it’s a little weird, but it’s great for our budget! Also, my main focus for going along this time was to see the new baby, but they’re moving in a few days, so the cancellation isn’t going to affect that.

So now we also have less stress surrounding the wedding date as well. We had a lot of back and forth and slight anxiety - what if we got married on April 12, but then had to leave for Arizona on April 14? What if the divorce decree wasn’t complete in two days, and we couldn’t pick it up until April 15, when we were already in Arizona? Would DarkKnight have to send it to us in the mail? Could we submit it electronically to a courthouse in Phoenix? Would we be eloping in Phoenix instead of our home county? Gah!

Though, OMG night photos in our wedding outfits under the stars in the Arizona desert! Wow.

Anyway, that’s all not happening, and I’m not going to have to worry about timing things around a trip to Arizona.

So now I get to think about what we wanna do instead.