Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

[Bluebird]

I just realized I never showed what furniture stuff I am working on right now. When our Virginia friends came over, I realized that our sunroom was the main place where everyone wants to hang out - and we are certainly in there lots ourselves. Only, the seating is just our two reupholstered “Golden Girl” loveseats, so guests have to grab a chair from our Crokinole table or our kitchen table to make a conversation circle. Lame.

So, I moved the two Danish side chairs from the living room into the space, and I loved them so much in there that I made the guys move the glass coffee table into the sunroom as well. Actually this is where the glass table was originally but we needed something for the living room so it got moved, but it was always my intention to move it back! So yeah, this is what the two rooms look like now:




Amazing - I love them so much, but clearly we need to finish with more furniture. The most obvious thing we need is a coffee table in the living room now, and I REALLY wanted a long vintage Lane table. I mean, our couch is almost 9 feet long. A regular coffee table would look dumb as hell. However, my searches have all come up empty. The cheapest one I’ve located is $500 and the ones I really like are over $1000. Y’all, I am not paying that much for a place to set my chai when I am watching episodes of Lower Decks with the polycule!

Well, when I was out on Tuesday with my old metmour, I started focusing on finding a set of nesting tables instead, as they were usually cheaper and I could spread them out to the length needed. I ended up buying TWO SETS of the same tables - together they were only $250 (which includes delivery on Friday to my house) - and I’m happy! I was thinking all along I would find some round tables, but these are guitar pick shaped.



I think I can make them look good in the living room. Right now my plan also involves moving the pair of chairs that were originally in the living room, back into there. I like how they looked and the space will again be complete. Also that costs no money. Yay! Doing that brings my sunroom back to being empty with an incomplete conversation circle, so my other focus has been finding a set of four comfortable chairs to use in that space.

I looked EVERYWHERE y’all. I found a chair that I loved, but it would take 4+ weeks for it to be delivered. I want this done before my family is here on Easter! My plan now is to look at IKEA in person later tonight. MisterMoonbeam will hopefully be out of work not too late (checkout from the hotel is 2 pm because he has an elite status or a card or something) and whenever he is done with the audit team we can head home with this detour.

I am interested in the Poang chairs and the Ekenaset. The Poang comes in a lot of colors, so I kinda like the idea of buying two different pairs of colors - like 2 beige and 2 black - and arrange in the half circle facing the loveseats. The Ekenaset I love the look of better - they look like the expensive $600 Danish chairs we already own! - but the deciding factor will be us actually sitting in these. A thrift store I went to had a couple of the Poang chairs and those were actually quite nice.



So we will see!

 

[Bluebird]

I bought four of the IKEA Ekenaset chairs last night while on the way home from Dulles. Yay! MisterMoonbeam says he will put them together this morning before my sister and her family arrive here. Sweet!

I woke up early (in pain, as always now) so I went ahead and started on laundry. I own one tshirt dress and omg it’s what I need. Any sort of waistband against my abdomen hurts eventually. It’s awful. I ordered 3 more of the exact dress in different colors from Stitch Fix, so they will be arriving on Monday. I might need to wear mumus but they’ll be cute at least, dammit! The one I have now is a solid black, but I have a navy and a navy floral on the way. Oh, and a red.



Anyway, after I pop the first load into the dryer, I need to start our laundry from the trip this past week - our suitcases are lined up next to the washer. Then I need to get bedding started for my sister’s family. I have clean sheets and a comforter already done in the spare bedroom, but that’s for the kids. I slept in my king bed in my master suite last night, so I need to strip that and get it done for my sister and her boyfriend. I have another set of sheets but the blanket and comforter need a freshen up for them.

I need to wash my master bathroom floor and put away my sex toys. Then it’ll just be general cleaning in the master bedroom and then whatever else I can finish before they arrive this afternoon. She said they were leaving upstate NY at 6 am but I haven’t heard from her this morning so who knows.

 

[Bluebird]

 

[Bluebird]

Yesterday was a 8-Advil day. I’m now taking it on a regular basis after one dose wears off and the next is needed. It’s crazy to me that the pain is ramping up like this. Just a few more…days.

This morning I woke up aching in my abdomen and just feeling exhausted. I want to cry but the tears feel like that sensation that feels like when you need to vomit but you’re scared to do it but you know you’ll feel better when you do? But you don’t because it’s going to hurt a little bit and the feeling is just THERE and you know you should but you don’t. You just keep feeling unsettled and awful, instead. Yeah, my tears need to come out today. Usually I cry every afternoon but they want to come earlier today. Maybe when I shower in a bit.

My wardrobe is quickly changing. MisterMoonbeam told me I looked “demure” the other day and that has never been a word used to describe me in my entire life. I now own 4 tshirt dresses, and I this morning a pair of OVERALLS was delivered to my doorstep. At this point I will try anything that is not going to put any pressure on my waist.

Anyway, about the overalls - I am not sure they are for me. I can see by Pinterest that it’s possible to be cute in these but maybe not me? lol I bought an XL pair and they fit not exactly…good. Like the shapes are not flattering. I wondering if I need to go up a size to make them baggier? Or down a size so they aren’t as baggy? I don’t think I’ve ever been so conflicted about a piece of clothing.

My sister’s family is here so I don’t currently have access to a full length mirror. (Her boyfriend, his kid and my youngest nephew are sharing my master suite). I will need to figure it out once everyone starts waking up. My oldest nephew is in the spare bedroom. I was with MisterMoonbeam on Friday but with DarkKnight last night.

I need to shower but for right now I am on a loveseat in the sunroom listening to the backyard birds greet the day. Hello birds.

A Facebook post had me googling this morning and on April 8 I will be 17,000 days old. Also, I will be legally divorced from DarkKnight in 9 days. These numbers are fake, I think. They don’t feel real. There’s always been a reason I dislike math. Once I get to a certain level, I cannot hold the figures in my head. These numbers, I don’t want to have knowledge of right now.

Does not compute.

 

[Bluebird]

I love my kids so much! After our Easter meal, and after my sister and her family had left (except for my oldest nephew), we sat in the sunroom and BugGirl asked me a lot of questions about my diagnoses so far, the procedures I have had and about the upcoming surgery. She sat and cried. My other kids were solemn.

MisterMoonbeam demanded we get married as soon as possible. Our current plan is the 12th, which is the absolute soonest if my divorce paperwork is processed quickly. We are all in agreement on this.

If it’s not done in a timely fashion by the courts, our next date is April 26th. He wants to to move that up and get the marriage license & sign the papers just as soon as we can, and do photos and our honeymoon on the 26th even if that’s not our actual wedding date. (DarkKnight also agreed with this.) This made me cry. I told him I wanted our vows and the certificate to match, dammit. So he agreed to take the 19th off of work if needed, so we will do things on that day if paperwork is delayed but not terribly behind schedule.

It’s all terrible. I hate this entire situation. I love my kids and my partners though. So very very much.

After posting this and then coming back later, I have to say, my son is a fucking giant. He’s 6’3” and I look like a baby human next to him in this photo!

 

[Bluebird]

MisterMoonbeam is looking cute today.

 

[Bluebird]

lol I forgot I made that last post - MisterMoonbeam and I were goofing around and he said I should let everyone know he was cute.

I’m really bummed today because I’m supposed to go hiking in Swallow Falls with a friend, but it’s pouring rain all week, including right now. LAME. She told me she already got a sitter so we have to come up with something else to do. So now we are hitting a coffee shop and going thrifting instead.

This day next week I will be getting divorced. Fuckin A.

 

[Bluebird]

Ugggh. My pain level was at like an 8 today so I ended up canceling and I’ve spent the entire day in bed with a heating pad. FML

I finished reading a book, and then I was looking at wedding stuff on Pinterest. I ordered some lingerie for our weekend getaway, and some stuff to decorate the car with as well. I’m worried that it will rain on our wedding day. I’m still struggling to come up with an idea of where to get married if that happens. We discussed maybe in our atrium, but that means buying a ton of plants to make it prettier! Since we won’t know until the morning before, gah!

 

[Bluebird]

I am not well. It feels like the stuff that doesn’t belong inside of me is pressing in on the stuff that does. I feel nauseous all of the time now. Well, at least I have for the past week. The pain is there all of the time. Just this dull ache, like period cramps, but it’s like period cramps that won’t stop. The cats lay on me and love me lots now too - they know there is something wrong.

I had a good therapy session yesterday, but I still feel out of sorts. I feel so much love from my partners, but I also feel horrified at what is happening to them because of me. DarkKnight is going to lose the legal label that means so much, and MisterMoonbeam has to take it on when he never wanted to do so.

I cry a lot and try not to let them see it.

Tomorrow DarkKnight and I are seeing a local play - Barefoot in the Park. Then on Saturday I’m attending alone my old metamour’s mom’s funeral, followed by a night out with DarkKnight again and two of our D&D friends at Emo Karaoke. Monday is my hair day (coloring the ends navy blue) and then Tuesday is divorce day. Then a week from now I will hopefully get my marriage license and then marry MisterMoonbeam on the 12th.

I can’t see beyond that. I have things scheduled later on in the month but honestly I feel like I am filling up with both physical and emotional pain and I don’t have space for plans.

 

[Belladonna]

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Your house is absolutely gorgeous and I love the view. So pretty!

 

[Bluebird]

Your house is absolutely gorgeous and I love the view. So pretty!

Thank you! I love my house so very much. It’s absolutely my dream home.

 

[Bluebird]

I just realized that I will be divorced on Tuesday. Like, I knew that, but I didn’t realize the implications of that. My health insurance ends on Tuesday. So that means the $1600 we have in the Flex account - I need to decrease that NOW. Obviously not all of it, but MisterMoonbeam’s Flex is a limited use, meaning it has to only be put toward dental and vision expenses. He also has an HSA, but that funds each pay period, and I will have post-surgical items needed immediately. So I just spent a little over $300 tonight on Amazon, for covered medical items under DarkKnight’s health care.



I got a toilet riser and some hibiclens. A heating pad and some other stuff that I have forgotten already. There is still a bunch of stuff on this separate private surgical wish list I made. Some of it - like bandages and stool softeners - I feel SHOULD be covered but aren’t listed as items that I can use the card for without using my own cash and then submitting receipts for reimbursement. So I held off on that stuff for now.

MisterMoonbeam and I talked a bit about changes he will need to make to his own plan - mainly transferring $3000 to the HSA so we can use it toward the deductible immediately and get the tax benefit.

 

[Bluebird]

Emo Karaoke tonight in Winchester, VA with a live band!! DarkKnight sang “1985” by Bowling for Soup.

 

[Bluebird]

I’m really stressing now! It will be raining Friday and I need to make my sunroom more photographer-friendly for indoor pictures with MisterMoonbeam. I have a credit card and no clue how to make it look more lush with plants. Like do I go buy some trees and hanging baskets? I have the green garlands from Christmas…

The guys promise to complete the cat highway today so I am excited about that.

If anyone has some ideas, please post!

I’m sad because I wanted an outdoor exchange of vows but this room is the next best option we have. I just took these photos so the room is not clean.

It will literally just be us and the photographer, but the pictures are so important to me. Absolutely nothing else has happened the way I wanted this to go, so I am just at a loss at this point because my brain is done.




I won’t be putting the 12 foot skeleton back up, but I think it shows the room’s proportions. Also, I’ve shared the one photo I found with the blinds down, so I can block out the backyard if needed. I’m open to purchasing outdoor stuff to make that look better too, though.

 

[Bluebird]

I have a plan now. BugGirl helped a bunch over text. I bought two “majestic palm” trees that I will repot tomorrow and will live in front of the two corner windows in the sunroom. I also purchased some hooks from Amazon that I’m going to have MisterMoonbeam or DarkKnight install above four of the windows and put up some ferns tomorrow night. I’m waffling on whether to put some succulents in the upper windows. We’ll see how I feel about it then.

I spent the day with TheEngineer and he helped me do a lot of stuff - pick out the palms and buy some drywall anchors. Real sexy stuff. I apologized for being such a shit girlfriend and never seeing him but he told me he would fit into my schedule whenever I needed him to! He’s very positive and sweet, always.

MisterMoonbeam and I went to the trail where we want to get married, and it was beautiful tonight. Of course if it rains as planned on Friday, this isn’t going to work, but he was very nice to me (he always is) and asked to take some pictures. Usually it is me taking photos of us so that made me smile. We didn’t stay long as I was hurting a bit from walking and shopping all day, but we were convinced this would work great for our elopement. If we have to wait until the 26th for paperwork processing, it will be okay. However, I am feeling better that I have a plan for this Friday (our sunroom) if we do get married on the 12th.



Tomorrow MisterMoonbeam has to work in the office, so I need to take DarkKnight to work to keep the van. Ugh. lol Then I have my hair appointment, finally, to dye the ends navy blue. I’m excited about that!

 

[Bluebird]

I went in thinking I was just going to get navy blue, but the stylist easily convinced me to try a mix of blues and greens. OMG love it!

To anyone who reads my journal: stay tuned! My new season is starting now!

 

[Bluebird]

The divorce is done. We went to Panera afterward for lunch.



It was stupid and simple. The magistrate had us verify our names and address, and then told each of us that if we passed on alimony, we couldn’t come back later and demand it. Same with how we had divided our property. He asked if we had separate bedrooms, and I said yes, for over ten years. He said if we’d like we could waive the 10-day waiting period and we said of course. He said that we should receive his recommendation for divorce in the mail in the next couple of days, and that he would forward it today to the judge for a signature. Then we would receive the final divorce decree in the mail as well.

So with that, we are done legally. Hopefully since we were an early case, he got it to the judge at lunchtime in a batch, and it will be complete by tomorrow! I need that decree to get married this weekend.

I finished working on my sunroom. I’m posting this and then heading outside to clean the windows.

Here’s the real estate listing photo a year ago:



Here it is now:



I love it so much! The loveseats are the same ones; we just reupholstered them and had new cushions made. We also kept the center table and just painted the base.

 

[Bluebird]

And we’re done with the paperwork! I called the courthouse at 8 am this morning when they opened, and our decree had been signed yesterday afternoon. So it’s official, DarkKnight and I are divorced. It feels like a punch in the gut some of the time, and at other times it’s like it’s fake news.

I just made a post on my Facebook, and I tried to keep it very short and succinct. I’m not good at that! I just explained that we’re legally apart but still together. I’m sure I will get PMs and questions, but I think a lot of people were already in the loop and aware.

MisterMoonbeam took off of work for an hour in the morning to go get the marriage license with me. That ended up being less work than anticipated as well. We didn’t need our birth certificates - just our state licenses. MisterMoonbeam needed to list the date of his wife’s passing and the county/state of where it happened. I had to list the dates and county/states of both of my legal divorces. That was it.

Oh, wait. They also asked us if we were related. (It’s a required question.) We said, noooo…and the lady said it doesn’t matter anyway. They don’t do anything if people are related. I’m like WTF . She said the only people they say no to is like brother/sister. Yeah, well, alrighty then.

MisterMoonbeam paid the $60 fee and then she handed us the license paperwork packet and sent us on our way. We can get married on Friday!

I did ask about changing my middle name. I still have PunkRockAwesomesauce’s last name attached to me in that spot! The pandemic happened, and courts closed down, and then I just didn’t care. The worker actually told me she didn’t know if I would be allowed to switch anything but my last name. However, the free law clinic is happening tomorrow morning, so she suggested I stop in there and ask about the procedure. So I am going to do that. It will suck to change everything to BlueBird Awesomesauce Moonbeam and then a month later switch it to BlueBird Knight Moonbeam but if that’s the process, that’s the process.

We took a picture on the courthouse steps:



The packet has the actual marriage certificate in it, instructions for our officiant and how to file the actual forms.

 

[ref2018]

When I got married, they said whatever I wrote on the marriage license would be my full legal name. I left the middle name blank, and my new social security card only shows my first and last name. It was annoying because at the time I was in the process of legally changing my middle name, and I thought that would carry over to my married name, but when I went down to take care of that they said that the marriage change of name voided my application and I would have to re-file under my married name to have my new middle name inserted (and pay the filing fee again), so I said fuck it, and I just have the first and last name. Sometimes I use my birth family name as my middle name or initial (like on my driver's license) because I still have credit cards and bank accounts under that name.

I don't know if this varies from state to state or county to county though.

 

[Bluebird]

When I got married, they said whatever I wrote on the marriage license would be my full legal name. I left the middle name blank, and my new social security card only shows my first and last name. It was annoying because at the time I was in the process of legally changing my middle name, and I thought that would carry over to my married name, but when I went down to take care of that they said that the marriage change of name voided my application and I would have to re-file under my married name to have my new middle name inserted (and pay the filing fee again), so I said fuck it, and I just have the first and last name. Sometimes I use my birth family name as my middle name or initial (like on my driver's license) because I still have credit cards and bank accounts under that name.

I don't know if this varies from state to state or county to county though.

Thanks for the info! I’m going to the free legal clinic tomorrow to see what’s up. Either way, I’m done with having PunkRock’s name still emerged with mine. It’s just not been a priority, but now it’s gotta go!