Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

[Bluebird]

For the last two nights, my bestie’s ex-boyfriend has been messaging me. He’s slightly autistic, so I’m not sure really if he’s just being friendly or if he’s angling for more. She dated him over a year ago and was totally in love with him - I introduced them over a decade ago at a sex party and then they reconnected more recently. I’m not sure how much I wrote about their involvement here, but I warned both of them about being wrong for each other and neither of them cared, and it ended badly. She knew he and I were still friendly even after I dumped her as a friend, but it still feels a little strange.

As far as I know, he and his wife closed their relationship after the dating fiasco, and I am not interested in him in any sort of romantic or sexual fashion. I find him very intelligent and a decent human so I don’t mind chatting and hanging out. The most he and I ever did was make out at that party over a decade ago.

Anyway, he messaged last night with free tickets to see a small indie band in DC this evening. DarkKnight was not interested, but MisterMoonbeam was agreeable, so today he and I are going to hit up a museum and then meet this guy - and some other people we don’t know - at a brew pub for dinner and then head over to the show. I listened to some of the music and it was okay.

I’ve taken some pain meds already and I guess I need to shower. I’m not sure which museum I’m going to with MisterMoonbeam - maybe Natural History? I did score tickets in the daily release queue this morning for the Holocaust museum, but to be honest I am not sure if MisterMoonbeam can handle that. I’ve never been, but I know he has trouble with stuff that’s emotionally charged. I snagged them just in case though. They were only $2 to process. I’ve wanted to go forever, but it’s never worked out! He’s still in his room and not awake yet, so we will see.

I guess I should shower and try to figure out what to wear today. I’m really really limited on clothing now that I can’t handle anything with a waistband. What the heck works for both the Holocaust Museum and a concert and walking around DC all day in 80-degree weather? Gah!

 

[Bluebird]

Yesterday was lovely, but I am very tired today! MisterMoonbeam and I spent most of the afternoon in the Holocaust Museum. We only did the timed ticket portion - I want to return soon to see the special exhibit on Burma. I don’t think that will be anytime soon though. Anyway, it was really well done and we each lit a candle in the Hall of Remembrance. I bought a little bird ornament in the gift shop, as well as a rock that says “remember.” We both though that was fitting to put in our yard, considering that the original owner of our home fled the Holocaust and we have mezuzahs outside every single door.

After visiting that museum, we had lunch at PotBelly and then went back to the Mall area to sit and rest in the shade. We debated going to the Natural History museum, but in the end just hung out together until it was time to meet up with ex-bestie’s guy. There were 7 of us total for dinner at the brew pub, and then at the concert at Howard Theater to see The Bygones.

It was a lovely time and we enjoyed it! The dude was completely appropriate and made no signs of wanting to date me, so yay! I think he’s intelligent and cute but not my type in the littlest bit.

MisterMoonbeam and I returned home after midnight and went right to sleep. I just woke up and I am really still drained. My agenda today involves therapy at 11:30, and then probably picking up lunch at Panera. That’s it.

I am also going to set out a schedule so I can finish my end of life paperwork. It’s just dragging on and I am almost out of time to complete it before surgery.

Today I also want to get tickets to the Virginia Ren Faire and to a local baseball game - the Flying Boxcars just started their first season ever.

 

[Bluebird]

Therapy was helpful today. We set up one last in-person session for the day before my surgery. I figured I'd definitely have the car that day because I plan to get a pedicure that afternoon! I want pretty toes while stuck in the house this summer. lol I might get my hair cut that day as well - I know I have been telling everyone I'm getting it chopped for ease of care for my recovery period, but I know I'm going to miss it so much! It's going to be just below my shoulders - I'm cutting off everything that just got colored. I suppose it will grow back fast, but lately I've been enjoying being able to braid it and put it into cute little space buns.

I came home from my appointment to pick up MisterMoonbeam for lunch. He's on the phone for a meeting until 1:30pm, and then we're going to Panera. I printed out 3 copies of the Maryland Health Care Proxy paperwork, as well as the blank forms for Advance Directives. I feel motivated on this topic right now, post-therapy. It's nothing we haven't completed before, but now it has a particular urgency. I need two independent witnesses to make it valid, so I figure if I can get all of us to complete it this week, I can have some D&D friends this weekend sign off on it. The health care portal I subscribe to has a link to upload to all of my connected offices at once - so my regular doctor and the oncologist will have it at the same time.

 

[Bluebird]

Okay, so this afternoon was mostly me figuring out life insurance updates. I will share here since a lot of people tend to have questions about how my cohabitating structure works. Things are still changing, but this is how our setup is at the moment.

None of us are eligible to add more or increase our insurance amounts at this time. We’re old, and both MisterMoonbeam and I have health diagnoses that preclude being approved for more insurance. DarkKnight’s & MisterMoonbeam’s weight also causes them to not be able to make any changes to their paperwork, unfortunately.

After talking to each of my guys individually today, and together this evening, this is what we’ve decided to do.

Me:

I have a $25,000 separate whole life insurance policy that costs me $34 a month. I don’t work full time, so I always figured I wouldn’t need more than this. I’m planning to call tomorrow to get the forms to change it so DarkKnight gets $10,000 and each of my three adult children gets $5,000 from this.

I also have a $50,000 life insurance policy that is automatic through MisterMoonbeam’s work. He is the sole beneficiary. He would use this to pay the cost of my cremation ($5,000), to pay off all of the joint credit cards and other financial debts between the three of us ($35,000) and to keep for himself ($10,000).

DarkKnight:

DarkKnight has a $20,000 whole life policy with a $4,000 loan out on it. I am the sole beneficiary, with our youngest daughter as the contingent beneficiary (if I were to pass away first). This costs us $91 a year total, with whatever amount we want to pay on the loan.

He also has a $60,000 life insurance policy through an old employer that he continued to pay the premiums on ($134/biannually). I am the sole beneficiary, and my two oldest children are contingent, along with MisterMoonbeam, who would split things evenly if I passed first.

MisterMoonbeam:

MisterMoonbeam has a $720,000 life insurance policy through his work, as well as a $1.4 million accidental death policy. This saw the most changes today! We have decided to split it up with 7% given to each of his two stepsons, and 43% to me and 43% to DarkKnight.

Until today he’s had this set to 100% to me. I’ve always been uncomfortable with that, and after much discussion we felt this was the best way to make sure DarkKnight doesn’t end up homeless if MisterMoonbeam and I die together in a car accident. In Maryland, everything would default to his parents, and they don’t know DarkKnight exists. So by naming him specifically in the life insurance, it allows him to go buy his own house with the proceeds. (He was clear that if he was left all alone, he would not want to live in our big house by himself.)

MisterMoonbeam’s 401(k) total also goes to me 100%, which I would use to pay off joint debts (he is an authorized user on a bunch of DarkKnight’s credit cards) and to pay for his cremation. His stepsons are contingent beneficiaries on this.

All of these arrangements do not require a will; they are processed independently of that.

These life insurance policies are just part of what I need to figure out over the next couple of weeks left before my surgery. I feel like these are now going to be set up the best way we can, to give survivors the best possible outcomes financially. They’re definitely not ideal, but they’re what we’ve got to work with.

After our emotional discussion tonight (neither of the guys likes talking about me not being around) we went and got Quiznos and enjoyed subs for dinner at a nearby park. Overlooking Antietam Creek, it was gorgeous! Here is a pic of me and DarkKnight.

 

[Bluebird]

Today has been AWFUL. I woke up with a headache, a neck ache, terrible nausea and horrific cramping. I’ve taken Advil but it isn’t helping in the least little bit. I had an Atkins shake and a Kind granola bar for breakfast but it didn’t settle my stomach. I don’t know what to do. I’m in bed feeling horrible, pretty much.

I had figured on getting dressed and working outside in the flower beds for a bit, and putting away some of MisterMoonbeam’s laundry. I also wanted to knock out another section of my Get It Together end-of-life workbook but just writing this makes me want to puke. Ugh ugh ugh this sucks so bad!

I wanted to make my own lunch today but it ain’t happening. I’m going to DoorDash something in a few minutes.

I did buy more items this morning from my Amazon wish list, as I got a letter from the oncology office yesterday in my health app, saying I will need an enema the night before and the morning of surgery, and to purchase some Colace for afterward. All of this I could buy using our health savings account, so I did, and I also got a slide-in shower chair. Not sure if I will actually need that but I figure it would suck not to have it if needed. I had actually already gotten some Miralax, fiber gummies and Ducolax chews.

The letter also gave me another appointment - May 20. I MUST go for bloodwork, which is different from other bloodwork already scheduled. It’s for blood typing? Which is weird to me because I’ve donated blood for as long as I can remember and I’m most definitely A+. Whatever. I will go.

I’m getting anxious about my pre-op medical clearance on Thursday. I’m worried my blood pressure will be through the roof and my A1C will be high. I know I should meditate on positive outcomes but as this gets closer I just start spiraling.

 

[Bluebird]

Another issue that needs to be addressed that we keep going in circles about around here is the house. Right now, MisterMoonbeam is the only person on the mortgage, and I am on the deed at 50% with rights of survivorship. If either of us pass away, the other inherits the other half automatically, again bypassing a need for a will and probate.

I was added when we purchased the house last year, which I insisted on, as I wasn’t going to move into a home with someone I wasn’t married to, who could decide to ditch me and leave me homeless. I wanted some protection. MisterMoonbeam was absolutely on board with that, as he said he already considered me his life partner and I did deserve that consideration. Now we are legally married, so I guess it worked out for us both! lol

DarkKnight already had 100% ownership of our other home (I wasn’t on any papers at all there) so he was fine not owning this one. However, our current conundrum is that he no longer has that other house, and he sunk a low 5-figures into our current place to fix some plumbing problems and then purchased pretty much all of the furniture in it. He also gifted MisterMoonbeam $4,000 toward earnest money/down payment funds. He says he’s not really worried about - he lives here, after all. However, it is concerning to MisterMoonbeam and to me.

The other issue is that in Maryland, stepchildren are not really in the line of inheritance. They are, but it’s waaaay far down. So if I pass away first, MisterMoonbeam owns everything 100%, which is fine unless he then passes immediately (again, maybe we’re in a car accident or something together) as then everything goes to his parents. His parents have no idea that he and I are polyamorous, and they do not know that DarkKnight even exists in a roommate situation. So DarkKnight would quickly become homeless.

Which, changing the life insurance structure has addressed that part of things - he’d have at least $300,000 to move out and buy his own home. However, all of the equity in the home would be lost to my in-laws, and all of us would rather see this in our combined children’s pockets and to pay DarkKnight back for his contribution.

With the kids, we are quite sure none of them would be able to afford the house right now. So more than likely, they’d all want to sell and split the proceeds.

So I think the easiest way to address this is with writing wills. To me it seems like the best scenario is clear cut where our half just flows to the other, but both of us want to be sure that if we passed together that ALL of the kids would be next in line to inherit without leaving out the stepkids specifically. So we need to name them in a document, as well as DarkKnight.

I am going to talk to MisterMoonbeam about this tomorrow. He gets a legal benefit through work so maybe they can write things to make it work. Honestly though, right now there is not much equity, though Zillow says the value of the house is up as high as $162,000 in equity OR it’s exactly what we owe on it. So yeah, there’s not much there to split among 6 people after fees and costs are taken out, but eventually there will be something.

Also it would be good to have it written that every single piece of furniture in the house is owned by DarkKnight.

We have already addressed bank accounts - though it’s on my list to look at again next week since I need to change my name at the bank. DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam both have individual savings and checking accounts, and they both signed paperwork giving me immediate access to those accounts if I show up with a death certificate for them. This was free and easy to set up, and absolutely necessary, as I would need that cash for operating expenses! So we need to check and make sure those have my name updated, and that the forms are in effect for all accounts.

As for my banking situation, I only have a checking account, and that is joint with DarkKnight. I think we should add MisterMoonbeam to it, but that hasn’t been needed so far. I pretty much pay all the bills out of it and he just sends his portions by Zelle and direct deposit of a set amount of his paycheck. So we should update to add him, which I will talk to someone at the bank about on Thursday when I go there.

 

[Bluebird]

This morning I grabbed all of my paperwork off of the printer and tried to make sense and organize everything I’ve been working on the past few days.

The state of Maryland provides a free combined form for both deciding on a health care proxy and advance directives - a “living will.” These don’t need to be notarized, just witnessed by two people not listed on these forms, and at least one witness can’t be a beneficiary from your death.

I printed out three blank copies and mine is now complete. I have DarkKnight listed as my health care proxy with MisterMoonbeam as a backup. BugGirl is the 2nd alternate. I plan to have the forms witnessed on Saturday by two of our D&D players. The guys are actually working on filling theirs out now.

I have DarkKnight as my proxy since he’s no longer my legal husband. I hope that this gives him some standing to be by my side in the hospital. Honestly, I don’t think it would be an issue, ever, but at least this gives him some legal backing to not be banned by someone who is anti-poly (like someone in my extended family).

I did call today and left a voicemail with a local attorney to see about making wills for each of us. MisterMoonbeam does apparently pay for an “advanced” legal plan in his biweekly payroll deductions and both simple and complex wills are covered 100%. He looked it up and he has a code - apparently the lawyer uses that to be paid by the company. So we pay nothing up front or out of pocket. DarkKnight’s will we would have to pay for, but I’m wondering how difficult that would be to do if we already had two others to copy off of. We will see. I’m not going to cheap out if it’s suggested that we pay a couple hundred bucks for him though.

The voicemail message said that all calls will be returned by the end of the workday of the next business day. So I am sure they will call tomorrow while I am at my doctor appointments!

Tomorrow I have my pre-op med clearance with my regular doctor. I’m told it’s a complete physical, a set of blood tests, an EKG and an updated A1C. I am terrified. Absolutely terrified. I’m not sure what they could find that is worse than what I have already, but still, I feel sick to my stomach.

I had a lot of pain again today, but a boosted amount of Advil cleared it out by midday. Yesterday it didn’t stop hurting no matter what I did. Also, I still have not gotten my period but maybe it’s my emotional stress and stuff delaying it right now.

My doctor appointment is at 7:45 am so that sucks. Though I guess I should be glad that it will be over with sooner. I then have an appointment at the eye doctor. Then I had planned to go to the bank, but my new license hasn’t appeared yet so I’m going to put that off for now.

I’m sitting outside by the fire pit. I’m trying to distract myself from my anxiety. I asked MisterMoonbeam to explain more about Beltane rituals, but he was not really in the mood and just said some basic stuff. I offered to bring the drums out but he wasn’t interested. I don’t mind, as I understand my guys are each going through their own stress because of me. Still, it would have been fun and helped me a little, I think.

I’m waiting for the last two logs to burn down so I can go inside. I sent the guys in to work on their paperwork. Maybe when this is done, I will go shower. I hate showering at night, but it will save me time in the morning, I suppose. Though I feel really like my abdomen is distended today - so I don’t like showering on those days because I might look at how gross I am. You can’t really see anything but if I press slightly, I can see the bumps and I can definitely feel them! It makes me scared. I don’t want to add to my anxiety right now.

 

[Bluebird]

I’m home from my pre-op medical clearance appointment and it went well: my blood pressure, EKG and physical exam were all good. I’m now waiting for my bloodwork results. When they went to take my samples, they asked if I was fasting - which thankfully I hadn’t eaten anything! No one told me I had to fast before hand. I’m still super anxious about the A1C result.

I came home for an Atkins shake and I will be leaving again to head out to my eye doctor appointment. I did stop by UPS to process an Amazon return and to mail out packages to MisterMoonbeam’s granddaughters. I guess they are legally now my granddaughters too!

 

[Bluebird]

Got my period today! It’ll be my last one ever! That’s kind of strange to think about.

The bloodwork is back already:

Not pregnant
Everything is still in the normal range (except I have “immature granulocytes” which is to be expected since I have autoimmune & autoinflammatory disorders)
My A1C is a 7.7 (the surgical center wanted less than an 8 to go ahead)

I legit started crying when I opened the health care app. I’ve been on edge and stressed out about my A1C since having to quit all meds in November. The fact that I’ve been able to keep it under 8 just by not eating stupid is a relief. Once the surgery is complete I’ll be on meds again, now that I have better insurance.


I just got home from my eye doctor appointment - and everything there looked good as well. The diabetes is ignoring my eyes for now (yay) though the drop in my blood sugar definitely necessitated new lenses. I’m lame and indecisive so I bought the exact same frames as the pair I already own.

I think I should be all set now for surgery on the 23rd. The doctor said they would call me later today when the bloodwork results are back, but I don’t see why since I get them in the app. But okay.

I do have another appointment with the oncologist on the 16th and more bloodwork on the 20th.

I’m now tired in all of the ways. My pain today is at a 6 and I am done being out. I’m staying in bed for the rest of the afternoon and watching season 5 of Relative Race.

 

[Bluebird]

Uh so I got a new alert on my health care app, and I have a new appointment set for May 9. It’s at the “Pre-Procedure Clinic” for a PRC. I’m not sure what this is exactly - no one called me today so I’m hoping there’s some contact happening tomorrow!

I also received my new license in the mail with my new name on it, but straight up - the photos on it are trash. Sincerely, the color photograph on the back is both blurry and I look like a ghost! What in the absolute fuck? I’m supposed to use this as identification? lol My main photo I look photoshopped and have been reduced to just a blur with glasses and cat eyes. It’s legit the worst license I have ever had.





That said, Facebook accepted it as ID and my name is now updated there.

 

[Bluebird]

I now have another appointment scheduled, this one on May 9. I have to go to a different location and get information about the day of surgery, and talk to the anesthesiologist. The office called me this morning and asked me a lot of questions.

I learned that my surgery will take a little over 2 hours - both the procedure and getting ready for it once I am in the operating room. They said only one person is allowed back with me and after, in recovery. When I told her I was polygamist and have two husbands, she said she didn’t know about that but would see what she could do. She ended up calling me right back and said she got it cleared for both MisterMoonbeam and DarkKnight to be allowed to switch off, but one would have to be in the waiting room while the other one was with me, because the staging areas are small.

I was really happy about that!

She also said that once I was out of recovery and admitted to the hospital, visiting was unlimited and that I would probably be there 2 days. My surgeon will visit me each day and he has the final say as to whether it will be 2 or 3.

 

[Bluebird]

I’m so very tired of being tired. The pain is mostly constant now and it wipes me out. I was frustrated yesterday because I was home alone and had a list of things I wanted to accomplish. It was gorgeous out, so I took a short amount of time to dig up weeds and I spread a single bag of mulch at the left side of my front door. I spent the rest of the afternoon just curled up and trying not to cry.

I wasn’t wiped by the work; it was the persistent cramping that just drains me. I’ve got to get in front of this constant UGHHH.

It’s also effecting my diet - I just fill up so quickly now. I seem to have a never-ending stomach ache, and when I start to eat I just feel full quickly.

Today is D&D and I’m afraid it will be my last game for a couple of months. From what my surgeon says, I won’t be comfortable sitting in a chair for longer periods of time, and our games are 3-4 hours, typically. My character is at a good breaking off point, I suppose. I’m a Kenku rogue and I have an egg. My goal was to hatch a youngling and homestead alone with it, so I could peace out with my pre-baby and go back to my little house on the plains. Then when I am personally good again, I can rejoin the party.

I didn’t hear back from the lawyer, so I’m going to call again on Monday. MisterMoonbeam says there is another one listed under his work assistance plan we can use in Frederick if this one doesn’t respond. They also have an online tool that we can look at in the meantime.

 

[Bluebird]

The lawyer called me back yesterday afternoon. MisterMoonbeam & I are going to have a zoom meeting with her on Friday. In the meantime, she wants me to send info about all of the kids to her, so I am getting that together today. She said she cannot work with DarkKnight at all, as she wants to avoid any sign of impropriety. The fact that he’s my legal ex is concerning her? Idk, but I feel like it shouldn’t be an issue. She has zero experience with polyamorous families though.

I spoke with all 3 of my children over the phone yesterday about our end-of-life plans. I had to get their social security numbers so I could make adjustments to my life insurance beneficiaries.

D&D was rescheduled to this afternoon.

 

[Bluebird]

I’m tired today. I woke up with cramps mostly in my back but nothing too terrible yet. I can power through, but they just make me exhausted and the day just started.

DarkKnight messaged to let me know our cat Lenny peed on a heating pad that he left on the floor, and as he saw it happen, there was a pop and some smoke. Apparently Lenny hit a power strip! Right in the trash. (The power strip, not the cat, though I am aggravated at him.)

Today I need to finish up laundry, and get the newly-signed copies of our living wills uploaded to our health care providers. I’m also going to email copies to each other, and our health care proxy secondary backups. The originals will get hole punched and put into our “Get it Together” binders.

 

[Bluebird]

So I did nothing again yesterday, other than read two books, sleep and cry. I did wash the heating pad that DarkKnight asked me to handle, but I never took it out of the washer to dry it. And last night, I didn’t actually sleep until 4 am and one of the cats woke me up a little after 6 am. I did just wake up again from that. My abdomen is a mess of cramping.

I’m glad I have a date for the surgery. I can’t live like this much longer. It hurts so much. I paused writing this to text MisterMoonbeam if he could bring me 4 ibuprofen. Fuck this. It’s absolutely awful.

I’m supposed to be finally hosting a gaming group this afternoon but I literally am dreading even trying to stand up. It’s gonna hurt worse and I don’t know what that would even be like, other than absolute agony.

 

[Bluebird]

I had a blast yesterday playing Destinies with my friend and her roommate. It’s definitely a game I am interested in playing again! I got medicated up and the rest of the day was pretty much pain-free. At no time did I let the meds lapse though. These two peeps are actually coming over again later today with my other friend to play Zombicide: Green Horde with me. I’m trying to get all of the 10 scenarios finished before my surgery - I’m on number 8 today!

I’m home alone today and feeling it.

 

[Bluebird]

So yesterday ended up being fun again - we played quest 8 and 9 in Zombicide Green Horde and won both. MisterMoonbeam joined the group for quest 9. DarkKnight wasn’t interested and spent the evening putting together his birthday present that MisterMoonbeam and I went halfsies on - the D&D Lego set!


He was so surprised and excited! He had sent us links to it and videos but never imagined we would buy it for him! It was actually sold out the first few times I looked at it online, but while on our honeymoon, MisterMoonbeam saw it was available and we bought it on the spot, only to see it go out of stock again. Lol

After everything is assembled, there’s an actual campaign to play!



We have it to him on Saturday so he’d have time to put it together - there are 4 instruction books and he’s compiled two so far.

 

[Bluebird]

Yesterday it was exactly two weeks until surgery. I hope I can make it!

TMI poop warning:

At one point I sat on the toilet for almost an hour. Literally, I hadn’t pooped in three days, in spite of feeling like I needed to go. So after a while, I just fucking went for it and shoved a finger up there. Y’all, the amount that came out it FILLED half the damn toilet. It was dark and angry and stank horrifically. This isn’t my regular shit!

I haven’t had a gallbladder for decades, so my poop is consistently a 6-7 on the Bristol stool chart. This was a smashed together 2 that wouldn’t stop.

I looked online and I guess it’s common that fibroids can interfere with digestion. I’m stressed now because it was my fear that I might have some interaction with my intestines - the ultrasound didn’t give great pics of the area and the oncologist mentioned briefly that he might have to remove some of them and would make that decision while in surgery.

I don’t think this is a good sign. I can say that it felt amazing immediately afterward, but it didn't cut down on my pain much later on in the evening. This morning I am hating being awake and I took 3 ibuprofen already.

So yeah. Two weeks to go.

 

[Bluebird]

So far the weekend has been good in spite of the pain. MisterMoonbeam and I went to Richmond and visited the botanical gardens there.





We then went to the opening day of the Virginia Ren Faire, and after we were finished there, we saw The Fall Guy at Theater in Fredericksburg.



MisterMoonbeam bought a hood that has 3 blackbirds on it! As soon as he saw it, he tried to get me to wear it, but I was like, that’s all you, for sure! He had it on for a little bit, but we’re both thinking it will be perfect for his Yuletide garb! He also bought a staff with a D20 on top, which he got for a $50 discount, because he rolled a nat 20 first thing! The dome unscrews so the die can be swapped out for different colors.





DarkKnight didn’t go this weekend, and made plans for his birthday with our kids at different times.

We’re going to stop by MisterMoonbeam’s parents house this morning with flowers on our way home, for Mother’s Day.

 

[Bluebird]

We spent a couple of hours with MisterMoonbeam’s parents for Mother’s Day yesterday. I’m glad we did! They were happy to see us, and I got a big hug at the door with a “Happy Monthiversary!” To say I was shocked was an understatement. Neither of us had realized we have now been legally married for a month! Wow!

MisterMoonbeam’s mom also was very matter-of-fact about coming to the surgical center to be supportive in a couple of weeks, which freaked me out! I never thought they would want to do that. I was glad to tell her that only one person was allowed in the waiting area, but that once I was moved to my own private room in the hospital, they would be welcome. So now their plan is to visit the next day.

We had quite the discussion on the way home - his parents still don’t know we are polyamorous, or that DarkKnight exists. There’s no way that we could have made it through the day of surgery without getting found out with them there at the same time in the waiting room! MisterMoonbeam does want to tell them, but I’d appreciate my surgery not being the big reveal, OMG.

We’ve decided that my first night in the hospital, MisterMoonbeam will stay over (DarkKnight doesn’t do well if he doesn’t get to sleep in a bed) and then he will go home to rest in the morning on Friday (the 24th) to swap out with DarkKnight. It will be quite alright for MisterMoonbeam’s parents to arrive with DarkKnight there - we will absolutely introduce him as my ex-husband and father of my children.

He will then excuse himself and MisterMoonbeam will come back to see his parents, and after they leave, DarkKnight can come back. At least, that’s the plan for now. I am not anticipating being able to coordinate any of this, depending on my pain levels and the amount of drugs in my system. So hopefully the guys can handle it.

So that was a discussion.

My oldest daughter came and saw me, with her boyfriend, once we finally got home after dinner. She brought me a card and an orchid, and a promise to do a deep clean of my bedroom and bathrooms before my surgery, which I had asked for! My youngest sent me a text and I will see her today. (She works Sundays.) My son I didn’t hear from at all but I was expecting silence as DarkKnight had seen him the night before, and they were out late seeing a movie and BeanBoy had to work at 4 am. I am sure he went home and CRASHED. DarkKnight said that my son planned on coming over later in the week to help me with a project, so I am happy with that, for sure. I’m thinking he will reach out today at some point.