Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

[Bluebird]

FINALLY some good news! We had our free annual plumbing scope done today and the cast iron pipe buried in our front yard is actually PVC! At some point it must have been replaced. Zero leaks, clogs or issues. Yayyyy! So as of right now our plumbing is good to go. I detailed some recommendations in an earlier post that our plumber left me with, so it’s not like there’s NOTHING to be done, but everything can be deferred at the moment.

His suggestions will be worked into our State of the Union coming up, but it’s all going to be 2025-2026 scheduling. Like, I’m going to add in a new toilet every six months, starting next tax season. Those will be a grand each, and then maybe I will spend an additional $500-$1000 on a decor update as well in each bathroom at the same time. I’ve got to run the numbers but I will worry about that when I start filling out my documents for the State of the Union.

Other home repair updates:

ROOF:
So far out of the three roofing peeps who came out for an inspection, only one has given me an actual estimate. Come on guys! Of the two who visited Friday, one showed up again yesterday to take another look unexpectedly, and the other called today to schedule my inspection. When I told that caller not only had they been out already, but they’re late giving me the estimate, there was silence and then a reply that they’ll get right on that.

Sigh.

The quote I did get for the roofing from the one company was $2900, but I haven’t received it in writing since he was just here this morning. He said to expect an email tonight or tomorrow, and that the price includes the addition of a new gutter and downspout to get the water away from our foundation. The other dudes have until Friday and then I am going to get this scheduled.

I added an old drone photo of our house with an arrow to show where our roofing issue is happening. You can’t actually see the damaged section because it’s along the back edge!



Current status (last week) - you can see the moisture hanging out at the spot where the 1987 addition meets the original house.



And this next photo is a close up of the deterioration in that corner. It’s literally just on this one side. The installer chopped all of the shingle edges and made a mess of things by not installing gutters. So the plywood underneath is damp and rotting. I’m thinking $2900 is money well spent! This addition is where I have my bedroom reading nook - so far there’s nothing on the inside ceiling that gives away that there’s a problem, thank goodness!




CRAWLSPACE:

Only a single company was willing to bid on our radon remediation, and we have a firm quote of $5900. The includes the pipe stack & fan out of the roof, and plastic sheeting to cover the ground in the 1500 sq ft basement crawlspace. Several companies refused to come out when I told them the size of the crawlspace, and one took a look and just said no. I want to cry but I’m not sure who else to contact so our price just might be $5900. The dude was personable, knowledgeable and he was willing to do it…

Another sigh.

We also have a $3000 quote (with yet another company) to install an AprilAire dehumidifier in the finished part of the basement, plus an additional $2500 to install a second one in the actual crawlspace, if needed. This project, however, isn’t happening until we see how the mustiness downstairs clears once the crawlspace is encapsulated. Honestly, I think I might run over to Home Depot and just buy an off-the-shelf dehumidifier to use over the next couple of months while we wait to see how things shake out.

 

[Bluebird]

I’m no longer obese! I know using BMI as a measure isn’t the greatest, but it’s still pretty awesome to have it now say I’m only overweight!

 

[ref2018]

The BMI thing was telling me I was almost *morbidly* obese too. Well what about all my *really* fat friends who are like 3–4 times my size? What are *they*? They don't seem to be going anywhere, lol.

Fuck the BMI.

ETA: Yup. 29.2. Still almost obese. And I just lost like 22 pounds. This is so ridiculous. It has zero nuance.

 

[Bluebird]

The BMI thing was telling me I was almost *morbidly* obese too. Well what about all my *really* fat friends who are like 3–4 times my size? What are *they*? They don't seem to be going anywhere, lol.

Fuck the BMI.

ETA: Yup. 29.2. Still almost obese. And I just lost like 22 pounds. This is so ridiculous. It has zero nuance.

Wellll just because they aren’t dying immediately, doesn’t mean they’re not dying.

But I 100% agree that it’s a ridiculous measurement tool.

That said, I’m happy it’s one that isn’t making me feel bad anymore!

 

[ref2018]

Wellll just because they aren’t dying immediately, doesn’t mean they’re not dying.

I mean yeah, but when you put it that way, we're all dying.

 

[Ariakas]

bmi is reasonably accurate if you muscle mass and frame is average. My lean mass is around 200 pounds. This puts me at obese with absolutely not body fat. Add on the dad bod and I am morbidly obese without even trying. Leanest I want to get is 20% body fat, thats still 240 pounds *shrugs*

Bmi is a guideline for folks with average physical

 

[Bluebird]

We went and saw Brennan Lee Mulligan do an improv act at the Kennedy Center yesterday in DC. It was great! I only know him from Game Changer (if you don’t subscribe to the DropOut app you SHOULD) but the guys both watch Dimension 20 & Dungeons & Drag Queens. I saw the tickets advertised and I was like omg this has to happen for us! So I snagged the tickets and we went.

DarkKnight got the day off of work - MisterMoonbeam already has every other Friday off anyway.


This is us on the rooftop terrace of the Kennedy Center. DarkKnight is on the left, sporting the DarkKnight symbol lol.

We stayed in Foggy Bottom, as per usual. It’s funny because DarkKnight was literally there last weekend, to see Back to the Future: The Musical with my son.

We came back today and got our luggage unloaded at home (3 backpacks) just in time to go see Deadpool & Wolverine. It was amazeballs. I didn’t have any spoilers so that made it even better. Fucking hilarious.

 

[Bluebird]

I did a long drive yesterday and attended the memorial gathering of my ex brother-in-law, LordTenderHeart. I believe I posted previously about how I started chatting with a guy online who friended me randomly in a Facebook group, and he ended up being part of a polycule that included PunkRock’s brother. LordTenderHeart died in a fire two years ago, after PunkRock and I split up. Yesterday would have been his birthday, and as the family didn’t hold a service during the pandemic, his chosen family decided to do one instead.

I felt really honored to be included. I knew absolutely no one there, as my ex in-laws were deliberately not invited. (I made sure of this before attending - I had zero wish to intrude on PunkRock’s family.) Everyone there was really nice, and it was amazing to hear stories and learn how loved LordTenderHeart was, by his closest friends and partners. The man who discovered his body was there, and called him a hero. I didn’t know this previously - the fire that claimed his life, he also managed to extinguish, which saved the life of the household cat and stopped the home from burning to the ground!

It was nice to meet fellow poly people, and I definitely felt welcomed. I appreciated the time to be able to say goodbye to LordTenderHeart, and have more of an end to that chapter in my life. I didn’t feel like it was necessary until it was offered to me, and I’m glad I attended.

I’m hoping to continue the friendship, and I extended an open invitation to anyone there back to Blackbird Manor that might want a weekend getaway for gaming and relaxation. We have the space! LordTenderHeart’s partners invited my polycule to their housewarming party in October, as they’re finally finishing up painting and rebuilding their home. I thought that was really nice of them. DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam didn’t go with me, but if there are further friendship extensions, I will be sure to include them.

 

[Bluebird]

I did about half the organizing I wanted to do today in my garb closet. It really has become insane in there. I decided to pull out all of the guys’ stuff (7 kilts, boots, shirts, vests, cloaks, pirate gear…) and repurpose the closet in the spare bedroom for them. All I did was put all their stuff on the bed in there and ignore it. Lol

My stuff, I took pictures of most of the corsets and skirts. I have more to go, but I wanted to have an album of all of my stuff. I have individual photos of everything, but for posterity, here is a bunch of it in groups:

Wench corsets




Cropped vixen corsets




Vixen corset & one with an attached peplum


Skirts


My Yuletide outfit for later this year (mulled wine & gold vine pattern)



Honestly, the majority of the corsets are too large now. It bummed me out to see how much I’m going to need to pay to alter, or trade away and replace.

I still have all of my cloaks, capes and furs to photograph and organize, as well as my blouses and dresses. Oh and all of the hats and accessories. Ahhhhh!

I only took one photo as I started hanging up the corsets. The skirts are all hanging along the bottom. This is just a closeup of the middle left side.

 

[Bluebird]

Upcoming medical stuff:

August 9: Diabetes Specialist appt to discuss how to get more calories in my diet!

August 19: Thyroid biopsy

August 22: Bloodwork

September 6: Endocrinologist follow up visit

 

[Bluebird]

I did a little bit more in my garb closet today, but not much. I put my blouses and cloaks in order, with my dresses.



The bins were already labeled but none of them are really sorted - they’re a mess. I have a pile of stuff I still need to organize.



That said, I bought a pair of black bracers today, secondhand. I also am now trading my navy blue cropped vixen for a petite wench corset. I’ve not tried one of that size before - it’s made shorter, so when it’s being worn you can squat and sit more easily. I figure if it doesn’t work for my body type, I’ll trade it!

 

[Evie]

You have more garb than I have clothes

 

[Bluebird]

You have more garb than I have clothes

It’s a whole cycle where I have more garb, so I find more events to attend so I can wear it.

Quick math shows the individual pics there total about $6000, and that doesn’t include the shirts, dresses, boots, accessories, cloaks and capelets. My furs were $300. The guys have 7 kilts between them, pirate and steampunk coats, etc.

Why are we broke? Because we be looking fabulous!

Seriously though, I know I will be buying more accessories this weekend at the Steampunk event because I don’t have much for that theme. We’re only going for a day trip so there’s no hotel cost this weekend, at least!

DarkKnight needs new boots this season, as does MisterMoonbeam, so we will be spending a bunch on those soon. ($100-$500 depending on where/what is purchased)

This is why I am so totally bummed to have lost weight - having this stuff altered is not inexpensive, and if I continue to lose, it doesn’t make sense to alter something a second time! So I am starting to swap and trade pieces. Two inches make a HUGE difference on how something looks and fits when it comes to a corset.

 

[Bluebird]

I went out and mailed my trades away this afternoon.





I’m excited to get my new items, though I’m not certain if the navy/silver petite corset will look okay on me since it’s a few inches shorter length. If it doesn’t, I’m certain I can trade it for something else with someone else. Lol

I spent the morning researching 0% credit cards and discussing with MisterMoonbeam what needs to happen to position himself to get approved. He was using Credit Karma to watch his scores and I wasn’t convinced he was looking shiny enough for the Wells Fargo card I wanted. (His highest limit card wasn’t showing on Equifax or Experian, and without that, his utilization wasn’t as low as I’d like it to be.)

Well, when I had him go to freeze Equifax and Experian on their actual sites, the card was showing and his scores were excellent. So, he was able to apply and was approved instantly. So now we have a card to pay for the roofing work we need done, and I will be able to not have the balance grow over the next year. I did not want to owe anything extra because of interest! That said, it’s now his lowest limit card, which is irritating. I guess Wells Fargo is known for being stingy. Lol

I am currently out at 5Guys with MisterMoonbeam having lunch. 40 carbs for a little cheeseburger, but I know that doesn’t matter - my glucose is going to bump up because of the bun. Oh well. I guess like with credit cards, it’s good to be prepared when it comes to the numbers!

 

[Bluebird]

Omg I’m dying! The Damsel in this Dress sale tonight is by the outfit, and there are TWO that I want. They’re $209 each. I honestly should not even buy one, but they’re so amazing…

I have to do look at my money and try to decide how much I might spend this weekend at Key City Steampunk…and that’s to see if I can even get one of the outfits. Ugh!

Here’s outfit 1:



I honestly don’t even care about the skirt & apron - the Heidi corset is LIFE. It’s so gorgeous! I love this corset - it would be perfect for Fall, and I need something for the upcoming Masks of Mischief dance in Virginia for September…

Outfit #2:





This purple is amazeballs! I don’t have anything like it since I sold my “Skeletor” purple vixen a while back. The skirt is pretty too!

I’m not really sure how to decide. Sigh. I’m definitely getting #1. There. That’s a decision! Mostly because the corset I can wear immediately. As much as I love the purple set, I don’t have an event other than Mythicon where it would make sense, and by then it might not fit me anymore.

True story - I tried on my new size 36 Vixen and I had maybe a one-inch gap! The stuff tonight I’m going to get the 34-36, I think.

Anyway, I am going to stop typing and go shower. I need to get decent. I don’t know when TheEngineer is coming over - other than it’s later today. We’re going to join DarkKnight and go play trivia tonight!

I’m waiting at the moment to hear back from MisterMoonbeam about Friday night. We were going to go to a drum circle, but it got canceled due to weather. So now I’m thinking about going to see The Little Mermaid live at the Maryland Theater downtown. DarkKnight messaged and said he would go with me but I’m not getting tickets until MisterMoonbeam lets me know what’s up.

 

[Bluebird]

I bought the first set!

 

[Bluebird]

I had a great night last night, hanging out with DarkKnight and TheEngineer. Our group won at trivia, so that was pretty awesome. TheEngineer and I stayed up til after 1 am, just talking and reconnecting. We both tried to not be horny for each other, since sex is again off the table for me for at least another week.

This morning we were up at 7:30 am and we talked again until I had to leave at 10 am. I’m now writing this from the waiting room of my diabetes educator’s office. lol

We actually got into a pretty decent conversation about garb and he’s about to buy his first kilt. He and his wife are going to the Maryland Ren Faire a couple of weeks before us, and they might go to the Steampunk event this weekend, though they don’t have tickets for the latter yet. It would be cool to see him there, but he’s not sure yet what they’re doing. He has water in his basement at the moment, so cleanup might not be complete by then - it’s still raining!

 

[turnipprincess]

I bought the first set!

The first set was really cute! Yay!

 

[Bluebird]

DarkKnight and I had a fun time at Key City Steampunk today in Gettysburg. This was the first time either of us had gone to this sort of event, or dressed in this particular style. It was fun, though the intensity of some of the participants was a bit much for me, I think! DarkKnight says it’s because I’m not a former theater kid.





Everyone we met was super nice and I was chosen to participate in “tea dueling” but I lost my round. Basically there’s a lot of rules to make it an official sport but two people square off and have to dunk a piece of thin cookie into boiling hot tea for 3 seconds - the audience counts down in a boisterous manner. Then, the duelers hold up their cookie vertically with two fingers, waiting for one of the cookies to collapse. Once one cookie breaks, the other person has to immediately swallow their own cookie without it breaking when they move it to their mouth. OMG It was great, even though I lost.

We bought some different things from vendors, and also attended a class held by a blacksmith, who discussed iron weapons throughout history. It was actually really great - he had so much knowledge and so much enthusiasm on the topic. I literally could have listened to him talk about the topic for hours! DarkKnight also went to a class where he created his own blend of tea, but I skipped that one. We didn’t stay for any later activities. The few hours I was there wore me out quickly.

I was happy I went though. We had a lot of good discussion in the car. One of the things I brought up to him was that I was wondering for a while if he was starting to consider himself as part of the LGBT+ collective - if he had thought about taking on the Ace label. He said he actually had thought about it, but hadn’t done any real research on it yet. He said he wasn’t sure if he met all the criteria. I think he’s definitely Gray-A.

I told him at one point in my life I would have been devastated over it, but I love him 100% and well, me being polyamorous gives me an outlet for my sexual self, so I’m not going anywhere regardless. He reiterated that he finds me attractive and he likes having sex with me, he just doesn’t get the urge for much of anything, with anyone, anytime. That wasn’t a newsflash for me. lol He’s always up for it, if I initiate, but he’s happier just existing together and being together in other ways.

He doesn’t consider himself aromantic, or demisexual. He’s just not horny. Like, he has aesthetic attraction - he looks at women and is like, “wow, she’s hot,” but has zero desire to move beyond that. Or, it isn’t often. We’ve talked before - years ago - about maybe it being low T, but he wasn’t interested in figuring out if it’s a medical thing. I mean, all his parts do work and he’s never had any issues as far as that. He just doesn’t have the push very often to actually have sex.

He’s my heart, and I love him. No matter why, or how he identifies, he’ll always be my DarkKnight!

 

[Bluebird]

Just wanted to copy/paste here my response to a question asked elsewhere on this site - how many people would you count as being your polycule:


How far out do I expand? Eight maybe? I generally say I have three partners, two are nesting. One of my nesting partners (MisterMoonbeam) has a comet, and I couldn’t say how many people she sees. I definitely would include her in our count even though they don’t connect often - he’s known her for like a decade.

My non-nesting partner (TheEngineer) is married, and his wife is the unicorn in a separate triad. I *think* the wife in that grouping sees other people but I am not 100% on that right now.

In my drawing, solid green lines are marriages, dotted blue lines are other sorts of connections. I put both sorts between DarkKnight and me, since we are legally divorced but we still consider ourselves married.