Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

[Bluebird]

I’m excited because I’m going to go see DarkKnight perform on Friday night in a local theater show. It’ll be my first official nighttime trip outside of the house in 8 weeks!

I also just bought two tickets to the Maryland garb sale this weekend. MisterMoonbeam and I are going to that. I’m thinking I might get us a hotel room to give him some time away. He is under a huge amount of stress right now, with the work audit he’s in charge of happening next month. Every year he is a ball of anxiety, but he’s struggling more than normal, after dealing with my surgery, his systemic poison ivy reaction, and then now Covid. He finally tested negative for Covid yesterday, so I want to give him a night away from everything, even if it’s just to go sack out someplace else.

Also, I’m not sure if I mentioned it, but when he was in the ER last week, he fell asleep a few times while waiting for test results and each time he started snoring and his breathing did as well! I was freaking out because his sleep apnea is clearly out of control without a CPAP. So I made him promise to follow up with his doctor on getting a new one.

Now MisterMoonbeam has an appointment with his doctor tomorrow to get a referral for that. I’m like, hey, we’re at max with the insurance so go get this stuff handled now! I’m glad he did. We talked this morning about getting his depression meds checked as well. I don’t think he’s been on any for a while and he needs that looked at too, I think. His therapist has a psychiatrist she’s affiliated with though, so I’m not sure which route he will go with that.

My youngest is here right now. My daughters have been so amazing throughout this ordeal! I told LittleMichigan she only needs to come two more weeks, as my lifting restriction is being lifted after this Thursday and I should be back okay with most stuff soon. Today she watered all of my plants and scooped all of the cat litters. I’m paying her to clean the basement bathroom - I haven’t had the opportunity to go downstairs to do that. Mostly because I know being bent over to scrub a shower stall, toilet and the floors isn’t going to be a good idea.

Anyway, that room was a priority for me since Thursday I will have two different contractors in the basement to give me quotes on crawlspace encapsulation. They have to go through the bathroom to get to the entrance to the crawlspace. TheEngineer promises to come over and he will be here for the entire day - I have two other contractors coming to price out a new deck as well.

When TheEngineer was here last, we actually peaked in at the crawlspace. It looked dry and there is plastic down, but I think it needs to be torn out and redone so it’s attached to the floor, because it isn’t. Also, the very far left corner cinder block looked damp, but it was sooo far away that we couldn’t be sure without going back there and we weren’t that ambitious.

These pics are over a year old:



We went around outside to that corner of the house and wouldn’t you know it, there’s a depression there, and a sharp line along the side of the house where water is pouring off the edge of the roof. Zero doubt we need to get a single line of gutter hung up there ASAP. This is on the back of the house where my sitting nook is - it was an addition made to the house in the 80s. That one solitary section of roof has no gutter. Gah! I think I might go buy a rain barrel to put on the corner for now.

Anyway, I’m figuring the deck will be $10,000-$15,000 and I’m hoping the crawlspace will be closer to $5,000. A friend told me hers cost $10,000, be still my heart. These numbers stress me out. The deck we are going to do next year; I want estimates to be able to budget appropriately. The basement is happening soon somehow because I cannot deal with the musty smell anymore. I want to be able to use the gym to regain strength and shape this new body of mine!

 

[Bluebird]

I had my first therapy appointment today in over two months! She was happy to see me, and I got her caught up on my medical stuff and the back and forth I have been having with my sister about my mom. I’m going to see her again in two weeks. No copays for the rest of the year since we are maxed out on insurance. Whoo hoo!

 

[Bluebird]

I had sex!!! My surgeon had cleared me the last time I saw him, which I thought was wild, and when I pressed him on the timeline, he said it was best I wait to 12 weeks for penetration. (I am officially 8 weeks right now.) He said it was okay to try earlier but to be very careful, as I wouldn’t know the status of my internal stitching on my vaginal cuff.

MisterMoonbeam and I had messed around the previously night, but he totally focused on me and didn’t even take his pants off. Yesterday morning he kissed me and told me he wanted more tonight, when DarkKnight was off at practice. I know I thought about it all day! I didn’t think we’d try the penetration part but I was super excited just to have mutual play and physical contact. We’ve both missed each other so much!

Wow though it was sexy and hot and everything I was missing! I tried to initiate the whole put-that-thing-in-me-now when things got heated, and he was determined to be safe about it, so we slowed things down to make it happen safely.

I had NO PAIN and no trouble self-lubricating, which were both real concerns I was terrified of for the first time. I orgasmed twice, which I was also scared of happening, but it felt good! I did feel slightly stretched afterward, both in my vagina, and in my abdominal muscles. No long term pain or hurt though!

I’m so very relieved. Thank fucking god this surgery didn’t destroy sex for me!

 

[Bluebird]

On Thursday I had three different contractors come and take a look at projects we need to get done. A fourth actually rescheduled and came Wednesday afternoon, so I have two quotes on the back deck coming soon, as well as two to deal with our crawlspace encapsulation. Then yesterday I saw a guy to discuss our gutters, and he also is going to give a quote on the deck. Oh, and we had an electrician come out and we hired him immediately and that work is now complete!

The first guy says he’ll get back to me on Monday, and at the moment he’s quoting us for a Trex deck with a wheelchair ramp on the right.

The second deck guys gave us a quote immediately, $29,000 for a Trex deck with a wheelchair ramp to the right. Later I messaged them back and they gave me three more quotes, the cheapest being $15,000 for a treated wood deck with no ramp.

The first encapsulation guy was very much a no bullshit sort of dude, and he said that once our gutter issue is dealt with, he felt we should start with buying two dehumidifiers - one in the crawlspace and one in main basement. He said that we should wait a couple of months, and that the air quality should show a ton of improvement - so much so we probably don’t need encapsulation! However, if things don’t get better, then he can quote us on that. However, he didn’t yet get back to us with prices - he said he would and there has been no follow up!

The second basement dude was slick and a salesman, and he wants us to pay $25,000 to encapsulate & insulate everything. However, if we don’t do the insulation and only get one dehumidifier in the crawlspace, we can get that down to $15,000. I asked him about doing JUST the two dehumidifiers and he said he won’t quote me on that because it won’t solve the problem.

TheEngineer was here the entire day, and was SUCH a help. He knows his stuff! We actually have two small ancient dehumidifiers that have been mounted into the wall in the basement - one in my craft area and the other in the gym. They’re loud AF and the one in my craft room had iced over at one point, so we haven’t used them. Well, TheEngineer had me get them going and he says the one in the craft room is complete toast. However, the one in the gym was working perfectly, and on Friday when I went to check on it, the humidity down there was GREATLY improved, as was the overall mustiness. I must say I was excited!

Yesterday I had had a recommendation on this local general contractor, so I sent him a message and he called me immediately, and then showed up within the hour to take a look at our gutters. He’s getting together a quote now to clean those and to inspect our underground downspouts for clogs. He’s also going to look at installing the missing gutter and downspout to fix our issue with the one corner of the crawlspace.

While he was here he told us he would actually recommend that we don’t get a Trex deck due to the afternoon sun our space gets - hes seen a lot of warping! He also said wood takes a lot of maintenance. He convinced us to think about removing the deck and instead installing a stamped concrete color patio. He pointed out that having the wheelchair ramp connect on the left (instead of the right) will be more efficient. MisterMoonbeam and I discussed it, and it honestly makes so much sense - anyone with that sort of mobility aid can come right through the garage, and there’s already a path poured leading to the deck! We can remove the two planting beds and widen part of the path, and then with a concrete flagstone-look porch, it could be sculpted to flow right up to get people inside. I have a feeling it’s going to cost the same amount as the Trex deck though. We will see!

I have a second gutter guy coming next Wednesday.

Also yesterday we got instant response from our local repair company to send us an electrician. We pay for an annual subscription where we get free house calls and they prioritize us when we call, in their schedule. Dude showed up in like 3 hours! Anyway, both of the basement guys said that they would recommend a dehumidifier in the crawlspace, and that it would necessitate a dedicated outlet to plug it in. So we paid $150 to get that installed, since that seemed like the easiest way to begin this entire process. We also actually paid another $250, as our annual subscription expires this month. lol

The sweet thing about the subscription is that it also covers plumbing, heating and cooling. All of which, we already had those come out earlier this year when we had the insanely high electric bills in January - February. Anyway, we have a plumber scheduled to come out on Monday as well, to take a look at our crawlspace overhead. Before we pay a fortune encapsulating anything, we would like to make sure the pipes there are in good shape.

When we bought the house, we spent over $8,000 on plumbing work, and at that time we were told some of the other pipes were reaching end of life. So, getting a check up is definitely warranted at the moment.

I believe the plan right now is to fund the gutters fully, and do whatever immediate need there is for plumbing. The deck we are pushing out to next year - the basement is the priority! I’m hoping to snag another zero percent interest credit card offer in the next month or so and to charge the cost of the two dehumidifiers on it. Then we will see how it goes!

In the meantime, I’m going to start working on a new State of the Union meeting to write a framework to share with the guys on all of this, including the status of our current credit cards and payoff schedules. We are carrying a high debt load, but we’re managing it okay. I paid off one 0% card last month, and DarkKnight’s clothing card just got cleared yesterday. This morning MisterMoonbeam came in to tell me he got an $1100 payment from our hospital indemnity insurance so I had him transfer a part of that directly to the joint account, and I had DarkKnight pay down his smallest balance on his highest interest card to below 50% utilization. We’re actually waiting on another $1000 insurance payment, and that will bring that card down to almost nothing.

 

[Bluebird]

Ha! I had DarkKnight bring up a bin of clothes that have been in storage for a little less than a decade. It was full of stuff I used to wear back when I started this journal, in fact. A lot of it was purchased in 2013 and 2014, including this skirt and Snorlax tshirt. It was interesting to see what a nerd I was - and still am.

Just to get some perspective on things, it’s been that long since I could fit into these. I’m now a size 14, 5’9” tall and 189 pounds. My endocrinologist says I’m going to continue to lose weight and I’m trying to get past feeling distraught about it. I LIKE being curvy. I feel like my boobs have shrunk - well not just feel, they have. My cushion is disappearing. I mean, I’d love to have less of my belly fat and my arm flaps are terrible, but I honestly don’t feel like me. I’m going to continue my therapy to discuss my body dysmorphia. I was diagnosed with it a while ago but it’s definitely increasing with this new me.

I’m now trying to make it okay - it will be okay to lose more weight. I’m focused on maybe getting down to the next level, where I was when I met DarkKnight at age 27. Then I was in a size 10. I would be okay with that, I think. I think.

 

[Bluebird]

It’s only 10:30 am and today has already been a doozy! I just got dropped off by the auto technician and they’ll snag me again at home once they finish with my car. Basically last week they were supposed to put on new tires and do a brake flush, but they were insanely busy. Instead they did the tires and a radiator flush AND a transmission flush. So today they are doing the brake flush and replacing my drive belt (preventative maintenance) for free. I still need to get the spark plugs done so I’m going to get a quote for that today - we just hit 100,000 miles!

So, anyway, I had a plumber come out this morning to give us our free annual inspection under the maintenance contract we have. There are a number of issues, but nothing I need to jump on immediately, though I do want to handle them!

1. The pipe on the porch can be cut, no problem. I had him look at this big metal pipe sticking out of our deck, as each deck contractor that came last week asked if it were hooked up. Apparently it is there so a previous owner could grill? It’s safe to lop it off. Yay!

2. The cast iron that was removed last year in our crawlspace has another length outside underground. He recommends we scope it and see what's up. The stuff inside was leaking last year so it's smart to think that the outside problem might have issues soon. Nothing immediate seen to worry about, but the camerawork is free on our maintenance plan, so I will be calling to set that up in a bit.

3. All four of our toilets need replacement soon. We can do them one at a time or just wait for the tank to leak and replace them then. We can fix them or replace but it's only like $100 difference and these are all old. I think he said for each one it’s like $800, so I will probably start scheduling these next Fall.

In the meantime, he recommended I order some water alarms on Amazon, so if anything does leak we have a warning. I bought 2 5-packs so I can tag all of the spaces under the sinks as well. That was like $60, so I figured it made sense to get those going ASAP!

4. The pipes in the crawlspace all look good. It's all copper. They will need replaced eventually but nothing is concerning immediately. There is some discoloration but nothing that’s going to explode or start seeping, it seems.

5. He doesn't do dehumidifier installation. That's the HVAC division. They can come give me a quote so I am also going to schedule that so I can compare pricing with the two basement encapsulation guys on just that part of things.

6. We need to install a whole-house water softener. $4000. They need to open up the basement wall in the gym to get it going. There's definite calcification on some pipes and it'd be good to stop that as soon as we can afford to do so. Sigh. It’s not critical, but we would see definite improvement in our water quality and it’ll definitely help extend the life of our pipes and appliances.

 

[Bluebird]

I heard back about my ultrasound.

I have numerous nodules on my thyroid (as suspected) and 4 large ones. Those are 2-3 cm each. The one within the lower left lobe has the hallmarks of being cancerous, which the radiologist noted as “significant” and “suspicious.” It’s a “solid or almost completely solid hypoechoic wider-than-tall nodule with ill-defined margins.” The other 3 are “solid or almost completely solid isoechoic wider-than-tall nodule(s) with smooth margins.”

I’m not at all surprised. The bloodwork that showed things elevated last year didn’t disappear, and when my abdominal surgery showed no cancer, well, that was amazing and great, but what’s up with the bloodwork then? This is probably it. I’m kind of exhausted to be dealing with this, TBH. I am so emotionally tired and drained. I was terrified a lot of the time when I was waiting for surgery, but now I’m just like, okay. We’ll see what happens. I cried a little bit, but it’s just more health nonsense. There’s nothing to be done until I get passed to the next step.

My doctor is out of the office for a month, so I talked to someone on the phone who said one of the other doctors would submit a referral for a biopsy. It’s common for this to be an in-and-out procedure where they stick a needle in my neck and pull out some cells to see what’s up. I have to see a specialist though, so now I wait.

Hopefully I won’t have to have surgery on this. I haven’t had time today to do any reading. I know a great number of thyroid masses are just left alone. I guess at some point they take the whole thyroid out but I don’t know what triggers that determination.

There is good news in that I’ve reached the annual out-of-pocket max already so the testing and anything else will all be free with no copays.

 

[Bluebird]

Today LittleMichigan came over to scoop cat litter and I told her she didn’t need to come do that anymore - just next week please. I talked to her about the stuff going on with my thyroid and she was a little emotional about it. This entire thing with my earlier surgery was really tough on her, so I hated to share the info yesterday that I have yet another issue. Which reminds me that I haven’t heard back from my endocrinologist’s office about the biopsy referral. I’m going to call right now!

 

[Bluebird]

My biopsy is going to be August 19.

Today also marks another 10 days done on my continuous glucose monitor! DarkKnight just put the third one in my arm, and I can’t imagine not having this information. I’m a little obsessive about checking the app, but I am so glad it exists!



Once MisterMoonbeam gets home from work, he’ll be giving me my fourth shot of Mounjaro. These numbers have only been possible because of the help it gives me! It’s clear now that my thyroid nodules are contributing to insulin resistance. If I didn’t have that drug, I wouldn’t be this much in the green! For real, a month ago my endocrinologist told me I might have to go on insulin, but now it’s not even a consideration.

The plan is to commit to another month on the 2.5 mg dose and figure out what’s going on with my thyroid by getting the biopsy done. We’re also moving forward with getting our basement gym set up so I can start doing yoga and light cardio at home, as I’m almost to week 9 in recovery from my open abdominal surgery! I’m really looking forward to getting the moisture issues in the basement cleared up so I can start being down there in a safe way - I still have a few more estimates and meetings with contractors scheduled.

Above all, I am staying focused on this being my year of REST. To me, that means health and wellness, and continuing to make choices that keep me feeling better.

 

[Bluebird]

I have a headache today and I’m stressed out by all of the problems I’m having to juggle with the house. I can’t do a single thing in the basement until I stop the water intrusion, and the gutter guy told me today we need to reshingle a section of the house first. I now have an appointment tomorrow, and one on Friday, with roofers. I feel like every issue is finding another one! I liked being ignorant of all this shit.

 

[Bluebird]

Sooo I have a contractor coming today and tomorrow to give me quotes on fixing the triangle section of roof that needs some love. Both of them can repair the roof and put on a gutter and downspout afterward, so it’s going to come down to price, most likely. Unfortunately, that’s step one - we can’t do anything other than get this fixed first, since that section of the house is dumping water right next to the foundation.

Inside we still have very poor air quality in the basement. Our single ancient in-wall dehumidifier is helping but it’s not enough. Obviously once the water stops being deposited next to the foundation, that will stop further damage from happening, but we will still need to address the current status! The main problem is our crawlspace, but that’s now last on the list.

We have two Honeywell HPA304 HEPA air purifiers downstairs already - one in the gym and one in the craft room. MisterMoonbeam’s office has a smaller unit. The plan is to pay a company to purchase & install an AprilAire 100C dehumidifier and hopefully that will dry out any baddies currently floating through the space and make it safer for us to exist down there. The cheapest quote we have for that right now is $2960.

The crawlspace is already a known problem, but we just are going to be out of money to address it immediately, other than the drainage remediation outside. We know we have radon (less than 8) and the vents in the foundation walls exist to help with that. We can’t block off the vents to install a crawlspace dehumidifier because the radon then will have nowhere to go but up, which is definitely not acceptable! A whole space encapsulation (cover with plastic top to bottom) will do the same - the radon would be forced into the living spaces. So the next step there will be installing the fan and pipe stack to get the dirt floor in there safe long term. THEN we can encapsulate and install a dehumidifier.

I’m waiting to hear from three different companies to schedule estimates for the radon remediation. The one we received last year was $4000, for both the pipe and for putting down plastic. The cheapest crawlspace dehumidifer installation so far has been quoted at $4000, and that doesn’t include tying it into the existing bathroom piping (so it drains automatically). We need to get the okay that the grinder pump can handle the estimated additional water on a long term basis.

I think that’s everything.

Additional issues which now have come to light that we need to budget for:

COMPLETE: Add an electrical outlet in the crawlspace to plug in the proposed dehumidifier. Cost: $450 (we paid $250 additional to renew our whole-house annual maintenance plan for electric, HVAC & plumbing).

Replace all of the gutters on the house: $4000-$6000

Whole-house water softening system: $4000

COMPLETE: Install water alarms under each sink and toilet ($60 for 10 - these arrive today from Amazon)

4 toilets need repaired or replaced: $4000 (we will want taller and elongated toilets) These aren’t leaking yet but they’re going to be $700 each to repair so we can either wait for them to go or replace them on a schedule we set

Our deck is crumbling and it needs to be replaced: $30,000 for Trex, $15,000 for wood. We’re waiting on a quote to tear it down and go with stamped concrete - we are assuming it will be closer to the Trex cost. This won’t be happening this year at all as the basement is more urgent.

I think that’s it…

 

[Bluebird]

Oh and just to update - I now have an appointment on August 9 to meet with the diabetes specialist to work on my diet. My main concern so far since being on Mounjaro is muscle loss, which is a common side effect for all of these injectable diabetes/weight loss drugs. I’ve been focusing on eating enough protein - and succeeding! - but everything else is bad, in that I am not getting enough calories or other nutrients.

Hopefully the specialist can help! I have a lot of confidence in her, as she helped me with my nutrition plan last year and I lost 20 pounds just by following that!

 

[Bluebird]

I’m very excited today because my new corset arrived in the mail. When I first met MisterMoonbeam, my corset size was a 41-43. I’m now in a 35-37 with a two inch gap! I feel great in this size because even if I lose some more weight, it will still fit okay for a while.

I’m thinking of changing up my look for the Steampunk event coming up in a couple of weeks. The corset I was planning on wearing is a 37-39 and it closes all the way, and I prefer to have a gap. I’m currently trying to gather enough oomph and energy to try some ideas with the new piece, which has an absolutely gorgeous pattern and color!

 

[River]

A beautiful textile garment with great crafts-person-ship, indeed. Love the careful and well crafted use of grommets.

Corset - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Perfect item for steampunk gatherings!

I'm happy that women today are not expected to wear these now, routinely -- as once was the case. Sigh.

Call me a feminist queer man who deeply loves my feminist girlfriend. Call me a communist. Call me what you like.

 

[Bluebird]

A beautiful textile garment with great crafts-person-ship, indeed. Love the careful and well crafted use of grommets.

Corset - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Perfect item for steampunk gatherings!

I'm happy that women today are not expected to wear these now, routinely -- as once was the case. Sigh.

Call me a feminist queer man who deeply loves my feminist girlfriend. Call me a communist. Call me what you like.

I have a closet specifically for all of my corsets. I buy from www.DamselCorsets.com mostly.

 

[Magdlyn]

A beautiful textile garment with great crafts-person-ship, indeed. Love the careful and well-crafted use of grommets.

I'm happy that women today are not expected to wear these now, routinely -- as once was the case. Sigh.

Yeah, now we (some women) just get cut open in expensive surgery-- tummy tucks, breast implants, Brazilian butt lifts, liposuction, while others wear Spanx and push-up underwire padded bras and super high heels. Don't kid yourself haha

-- a feminist queer man who deeply loves my feminist girlfriend.

 

[Bluebird]

The weekend went so fast. I feel down a bit. Hoping tomorrow I get three great quotes in my email so I can get this work on my house started!

I spent time today in the basement and finished putting together my first headband. I like it okay but I feel like I learned a lot so I’m excited to start on another.



I blacked out my face because I looked a fright. Here I am without this thing on my head:



I haven’t lost anymore weight recently, but I do feel like the Mounjaro is doing a good job of lowering my blood glucose still. This tshirt I last wore like a decade ago, which is crazy!

I started playing Stray on my PS4 and I am in love! I legit almost started crying in the beginning when I was separated from the other 3 kitties. I’m not sure I can handle any intense emotions from this! Otherwise, I am loving it.

 

[Bluebird]

So I am hosting a game night tomorrow for a friend’s birthday. I bought a cardboard box in the shape of her first initial, to fill with cupcakes and dessert treats. I drove over to a bakery in town and just ordered a dozen chocolate cupcakes with vanilla buttercream frosting, which is her favorite. I’m going to make the rest red I think? Like display them with red strawberries, cherries and a few small roses. I’m hoping to find some red candies and maybe some macrons. Hmmm we will see.

I played some more Stray this morning, and got out of the Slums. My kitty is now in the Rooftops.

After I finish my lunch out, I’m heading over to the Dollar Store to look at flowers and then back home to work on a new headpiece.

 

[Bluebird]

I made this stuff! Well, assembled. lol I don’t bake, but I did buy cupcakes and cookies and put them in a food-safe box shaped like the letter C with Hershey chocolate bars (mini) and cinnamon candies. And a whole big charcuterie board. For a friend. TheEngineer came over too and we played Tsuro and then Isle of Cats. Our blind cat Poppy stole ham from the table while we were busy talking and not paying attention!

 

[Bluebird]

I got my 5th Mounjaro shot last night (2.5). So of course this morning I am feeling slightly nauseous. I hope I have an okay day in spite of this!

Tomorrow will put me exactly at 10 weeks past my open abdominal surgery.

TMI WARNING!!! TMI WARNING!!!
TMI WARNING!!!

Also last night, I saw a fucking STITCH in my vaginal discharge after wiping. I was low key freaking out as I stared at it on the toilet paper - it took me a short bit to figure what I was looking at. I was like, what in the absolute fuck is this thing? Is it a worm? Did I just drop a fucking worm out of my vagina?! But as I manipulated it with toilet paper it was obvious it wasn’t that (thank fucking god, I would have died from shock and fright) and it clocked in my brain what it actually was before I started screaming.

I yelled to MisterMoonbeam that I think I had a stitch come out and asked him if he wanted to see it but he did not.

This was significant to me because though I haven’t had sex again in a while, I did masturbate twice the previous two days (outside stuff, nothing internal). I guess that is shaking stuff up inside of me!

There was the absolute mildest tinge of brown in the goo, it was mostly just thick and clear.

Oh this sounds disgusting. Honestly, it was just post orgasm fluid with a small amount of discoloration in one part, with a surgical thread included.

I quickly did some googling and I guess it is normal to see these between 4-12 weeks in recovery. I wish someone had told me, because even the brief amount of terror I had was more than I wanted to experience!