Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

[Bluebird]

So far the Phoenix trip has been good. MisterMoonbeam and I seem to have a good vibe right now. I find myself really really finding him attractive, and wanting to snuggle and touch him often. He’s responding and doing the same. I love him so much!

I’m also being quite domestic on this trip. I’m ironing his sport coats and dress shirts and pants - even the undershirts! - every day, and working on ironing the pieces he will be wearing next week when I am gone. I am enjoying being his helper with this - I remember doing this for DarkKnight when he had to dress nicer for an old job. I haven’t had to do this for a couple of years!

I packed all his clothes and created the outfits for this trip, so it has been easy to get everything ready the day before it is needed. Today I was ironing the undershirt for next Wednesday and it was very pilly. I pulled out a few of the others and he definitely needed a refresh. I went online and bought two packs in his size and they should be ready around lunch time at a nearby mall. This should make ironing a little easier too, once I pick them up!

My plan for today is to get a pedicure (finally). I haven’t had one since right before my surgery. My toes look like hooves!

I’m hoping tonight maybe we will either go to the Glow event at the Botanical Gardens or to an escape room. We’ve talked about both. Yesterday after MisterMoonbeam got off of work we went to a Fall Festival that was really big and put together nicely, but it was overpriced for us, as most of the activities were for young families. The corn maze had me super excited, but it ended up being a let down because there were zero dead ends and just wide open for most of the way. We ate some mini donuts and played a couple of the free games, but we both agreed it would be more fun with a child in tow.







Yesterday I visited a couple of different bead shops and spent more than intended on some little things. I’m going to make some jewelry this morning for an hour or so, and then head out for a pedicure, lunch and picking up the shirts.

 

[Bluebird]

Wow! That’s all I can say about the Light Bloom exhibit at the Desert Botanical Gardens in Phoenix. Go now!




This was such an amazing art installation! A few of the pieces changed colors, and each color was so saturated and unique! One of the sculptures allowed you to go inside and that was so cool! The shadows and their movement on the ground were a significant part of the exhibit, and about half of the figures encouraged interaction by spinning them!

It was a very unique experience, and it was a little eerie in some areas of the gardens, because we were in the desert and it was dark. As the night grew still and the hour was late, we found ourselves walking in the quiet, and I really didn’t like it. I started thinking about the Netflix show “Love Death & Robots.” If you know, you know! The “Fish Night” episode is a MAJOR freak out for me.

At other times though, it was fun to steal kisses in the dark!

Yesterday I stayed at the hotel with plans to work on our State of the Union document and I did make lots of progress. (I think I will update and explain what’s up with that in a separate journal entry.) DarkKnight called me when he got off of work - there’s a 3 hour time difference - and it was so great to just chat and laugh with him on the phone. I am missing him a lot, as much as I am enjoying my time with MisterMoonbeam!

I spent some time out next to the pool and in a separate seating area nearby that. It was absolutely gorgeous out - sunny and in the high 60s, low 70s. While there I was struck with the thought that I wasn’t going to be able to go swimming as planned. I have stitches still exposed in my vaginal cuff! I did some reading and the internet didn’t really help me. I decided to err on the side of caution and didn’t take a dip with MisterMoonbeam as planned.

Instead we got tickets to a couple’s escape room experience (called Date Night Disaster) and really enjoyed the time there. We won with less than ten minutes left on the clock, but felt accomplished. The story was that we were mistakenly kidnapped by the Russian mob while out on a date and had to escape before they killed us. We were handcuffed together the entire time! At the end we had to put on black coats and exit pretending to be waiters.





We both really appreciated the puzzles here - they were all unique and one involved smell, which we had never seen before!

Today I need to keep the car and go shopping for a backpack. We bought a gift for our granddaughter in Texas and we need to make room in our luggage for it. My carry-on bag is just my little North Face pouch, so I can easily upgrade it to a larger sized item and give us the space needed.

Most everything else I have planned today is with the State of the Union and also figuring out what we still need for costuming in our upcoming events. Hmmm maybe I don’t need the car…I don’t really want to spend another day here cooped up, though I don’t have concrete plans. I don’t want to spend a bunch of money however. Maybe I will find another picturesque spot to work on stuff, and drink tea and enjoy the background beauty of the area.

 

[Bluebird]

Okay, as promised, here’s the outline of our most recent “State of the Union” document. I do these twice a year - usually March/April and November/December. I’m the hinge in a MFM V-shape cohabitating polycule, and we share finances and a future. It’s important to all of us that we are on the same page with goals, and everyone has a say in our upcoming plans. It’s my responsibility to gather all of the information from everyone individually and present it, and then we sit and talk about it.

The first page starts with a question: What are our most important goals, short term and long term?

Then there are usually 3-4 bullet points. I ask each of the guys and they let me know what they think, so when I write these I know what we wanna focus on. The last time I did this document, it was primarily centered around my health and getting wills and end-of-life stuff together since I was facing a scary operation. This is not the case now. Currently:

Adequate retirement planning & insurance needs
Paying down and eliminating debt
Household projects 5-10 year plan

Page 2 is a list of day-to-day budgeting. The beginning shows my checking account, broken out into individual contributions. Each of my partners have their own individual checking and savings account that they do whatever they want with themselves. This is NOT that. Their paychecks go directly into their own personal account, and I only track what they push to my checking, as I use that for household stuff.

I list the total deposits that are anticipated in this account, both monthly and yearly. This way the guys can see how much each of them are contributing, and we can discuss the balance. Like, right now DarkKnight contributes a larger percentage overall from his salary, but the total ends up being much less than MisterMoonbeam’s deposit. (They make different amounts.)

Then, I list general approximate costs of our bills - like, the cell phone withdrawal is steady each month, but the electric bill varies from $50-$500. Anyway, it’s a basic list so everything is at a glance, and each item will be discussed under different categories later on in the document.

Page 3 is a list of trips and events that we want to do in the upcoming year. They’re arranged by date, and they list who is attending. These are significant expenses usually, and I wanna make sure there’s a list so we can all see where we are going. This usually has a lot of additions. Lol

I don’t have this section finished yet, but it should be done today.

Page 4 starts with the word “Vehicles.” Then it has short term and long term headings. Under short term I list each vehicle, with its current year/make/model and mileage. Then I list the monthly payment, how much we still owe, what the anticipated payoff date is, and how many payments there are left. (Under short term right now, DarkKnight’s car will be paid in full next September. We plan to keep this for quite awhile!) The monthly payment is also listed on page 2.

Under long term though, right now:

Purchase a new car for MisterMoonbeam in 2026.

I also have a car insurance section, and that requires me to actually call/contact our broker. I confirm each vehicle’s coverage type (comp/collision or just liability) and I list out the deductibles. I also put down the monthly cost of this insurance, which is mirrored on page 2 since that comes out of shared expenses.

To be clear, each partner has their own vehicle, titled in JUST their name. If there was ever a split, there wouldn’t be any question of who legally owns which car. In fact, the insurance cost comes directly from their individual accounts - they transfer that specific amount back every month, or already have it available. This is to provide clarity, if it’s ever needed. (We did this when PunkRock was part of our polycule, and it made that part of the separation easy-peasy.)

Anyway, the insurance policies themselves list MisterMoonbeam & I as “household driver with other insurance” on DarkKnight’s policy, and vice-versa. Not all insurance companies allow this, but the ones our agent hooked us up with do.

I have this section completed right now. Whoo hoo!

Page 5 is titled “Cell phones/Technology.” I was supposed to talk to MisterMoonbeam about this but I forgot last night since we went to an escape room instead. Oops.

Right now all 3 phone lines are consolidated with T-Mobile. The charge is in MisterMoonbeam’s name and is paid through his individual account. Again, I make sure that charge is covered each month from the joint funds.

I have a “Streaming Services” section on this page, and I list out each service and their cost ($6.36 - DropOut, $20.14 - Disney+ & Hulu). Earlier I asked each guy separately what they were actively watching, and we have three services not being used at the moment (Paramount+, Peacock and Discovery+). After we have our discussion, we will cancel what we don’t need at the moment, though if a new show appears we will add it back on when needed. MisterMoonbeam currently pays for most of the streaming services from his account - again, I make sure the cash is there when needed. I have a few coming out of the shared account: Apple One and Amazon Music. Plus my Kindle Unlimited subscription. I think the annual Carbonite fee comes out of the shared, so that really should be listed here too.

This page is not finished right now. Ugh. I hate figuring out the cell phone details because we are always overpaying it seems!

Continued in another entry!

 

[Bluebird]

Continued from previous post - our State of the Union document!

Page 6 is about our health. This is a mess at the moment and not close to being complete. I list short-term and long-term goals but as I haven’t talked to my guys about this yet, it’s mostly blank. I’ve met with them individually to discuss their health care costs and insurance - both have submitted their updates to their work for 2025 - but I haven’t written anything here yet to share.

My goals long term will be my diabetes management. Short term includes seeing a dermatologist for the cyst on my left arm for removal, and seeing a new orthodontist to talk about restarting Invisalign in the future. I’m going to probably discontinue seeing a therapist in 2025, but I’m going to ask the guys for input on that. I have found it helpful for this year, for sure. I also am going to hire a personal trainer once we get our gym set up, to get private pointers in our home a couple of times to make sure I am utilizing our space to my best advantage.

Page 7 is titled “Life Insurance and Retirement.” The sole purpose of life insurance is to replace your income in case you die, so dependents can maintain their lifestyle. You should cover your partner for your lost income until you turn 65, so you should have term insurance until that age.

Short term for us this means continuing to pay premiums on all of us. Long term, I list all of the policies, who they are through, the amounts, and who they are currently payable to after death.

I will share specifics on this section later - I haven’t transferred that info over since we made a BUNCH of changes when DarkKnight and I divorced and MisterMoonbeam & I married.

Retirement funds are also listed here, including both 401(k) balances, and anticipated amounts from Social Security.

Page 8 & 9 are about our credit cards and other loans. Each guy has a separate heading. We share this information because we transfer balance and charge things to each other all the time. There are individual cards with others listed as authorized users, and we strategically use different cards for 0% interest promotions, as well as to get airplane miles.

On this document, I list the current balance and credit limit on each account under each guy’s name - whoever is the primary owner. I also list the interest rate and if/when that rate expires.

My student loans are listed here, are as MisterMoonbeam’s. We made a concentrated effort several years ago to pay off DarkKnight’s, so he has none! That was a momentous occasion. lol

Also, MisterMoonbeam’s current debt to the IRS is on a line here, are as his two 401(k) loans, with all of the pertinent information.

Honestly, these pages need a lot more attention. I plan to be more transparent about the credit card minimum payments with the guys, but also how much we actually pay (I try to always pay at least $100 more). I have all of the cards & their info consolidated here right now, but I don’t have actual verbiage about how we are going to deal with it moving forward.

Page 9 & 10 are all about our home, Blackbird Manor. I list the mortgage, the amount left, our interest rate and the company. There’s a section on the insurance, and working on it yesterday, I realized that we never moved forward with DarkKnight’s renter’s insurance last Spring, so I got that set up. He’s not on the mortgage or deed to this house - he doesn’t want to own it - so it’s important that he has liability insurance in case something happens. He’s got $500,000 liability, $25,000 belongings with $1,000 deductible, and $5,000 water damage. This costs him $90/year.

I also have a wish list for short term and long term projects. This will probably have a lot of discussion at our meeting.

This year I am going to finish painting the craft room, and we are getting a new surround in the main bathroom. December/January we are going to paint the home gym and get new equipment. Then there is just a long list of things that we need to prioritize over the next span of years. We need a new roof in 5-7 years. We want to purchase and install a water softening system. New gutters are on the list for 2025. The back deck is rotten. We are going to have to purchase a crawl space dehumidifier, as the roof repair we did earlier this year did help, but things still smell. We bought paint and a power washer but never got around to doing the front walkway and front stoop - that will be happening in the Spring.


So this is our State of the Union document outline. Hopefully someone finds it somewhat helpful as to how my polycule figures out how to function.

 

[Bluebird]

Wednesday night we went to Barrio Queen and had the BEST Mexican food ever.


Then we shared an ice cream cone, and my blood glucose didn’t even waiver! Whoo hoo!



Unfortunately, I figured out yesterday that I need to stop Mounjaro for a while! My surgeon told me that I needed to stop it the week before I’m scheduled to have my thyroid removed, but I had read online that the protocol had become to have the last injection be two weeks prior to anesthesia. Apparently since it slows food absorption, people have aspirated when knocked out! So I called and yep - I need at least 14 days clear before surgery. So my last shot was this past Tuesday. I will be able to restart afterward.

Yesterday, MisterMoonbeam was looking super cute! He let me take a pic in the morning before work, though he wasn’t super smiley! His corduroy sportcoat has elbow patches!! There’s something about that, that gives me tingles!



He’s really stepped up his work attire - this is his casual Friday look. He said he could definitely tell this week, how people reacted to his more put-together outfits. He said it improved his demeanor and self-image as well.

Speaking of clothing choices - we finally decided on our Christmas pajamas, and I ordered them!



DarkKnight is ALWAYS the blue meeple, and I try to snag green but will defer if there is a guest. MisterMoonbeam is cool with red.



I met up with a person I’ve talked to online for over twenty years yesterday for brunch. It was a 45 minute drive, but she paid since I went to Glendale. We were definitely vibing! She adopted her child at the same time I brought home my two oldest. It was really neat to finally be face to face!

While getting ready to leave, I asked the waitress about her eyebrows and that sent me off on my next adventure! I went and had my eyebrows threaded!



I love it! The redness disappeared soon after the picture was taken, no worries.



I was able to pick up MisterMoonbeam early from work, and I got us reservations at a board game cafe called Snakes and Lattes. We shared a burger and each had a caffeinated beverage (mine was a chai!) while playing It’s a Wonderful World. It was new to both of us, and it was an enjoyable dystopian-future themed game where you each play as someone building an empire. With cards like “propaganda center,” you get the feeling that your empire isn’t the nicest. I have never been good with engine-builder type games and I was throughly trounced! Lol

We booked a hotel in Flagstaff for tonight - I’m up early because I fail at time zone changes! I’m mostly packed for the excursion to the Grand Canyon this weekend! I’m excited to see it from the ground finally. This was MisterMoonbeam’s idea, and we are planning on driving to the south rim and then taking the shuttle bus to a couple of areas before retiring in Flagstaff tonight. It’s supposed to rain Sunday, but if it’s not awful, we may do a side trip to Sedona then. If we can’t, we will catch that another time!

 

[Bluebird]

Hello from Flagstaff!



When we arrived in Flagstaff, it was freaking freezing! MisterMoonbeam bought me a hoodie, and I love it so much. It’s a women’s size large!

When we arrived at the Grand Canyon, MisterMoonbeam had a complete breakdown and started crying. He had vertigo and just a real fear of the vastness of the space. I was pretty scared too, to be honest. It’s like, you see pictures and yeah, it’s a canyon and it’s big. And the overhead satellite pics make it look 2D. Well, it’s fucking immense. And there are literal mountains right in front of you but they look 2D because there are so many layers of them. And the distance is just a lot to take in, I guess.



I tried to help him but he sat on the steps at Mathers Point and just broke down. I got him back into the sidewalk a little bit away, and while he calmed himself, I ran to the point and got some pictures. We walked back to the visitor’s center and then caught a shuttle to the Geology Museum. He had to sit down inside there too, but having glass in front of the overlook helped. We then got back in the shuttle and went to the car.

The one great thing was on the way out we caught some new birds on our Merlin app, and that helped him a bunch. I felt so bad, because going here was his suggestion! Neither of us realized he would have such a negative reaction - full on panic.

He was embarrassed afterward but I am more embarrassed that he feels like he needs to apologize for having such an intense reaction! Like, you can’t control that sort of thing. My poor sweetie!

 

[Bluebird]

Well it was 30 degrees when we woke up in Flagstaff, and it started sleeting when we hit the road. No side quests to Sedona for us! I drove us all the way back to Phoenix where it was 71 and sunny! Crazy!

MisterMoonbeam took over driving after lunch and took me to a different bead store. I bought some burgundy and gold pieces that I might use for Yuletide. Then we went back to our hotel and I unpacked our shared bag and repacked my suitcases for tomorrow’s flight.

I’m anxious to fly alone - the last time I did I was dating WarMan and I went from DC to Albuquerque on my own. I am sure I will be fine! I checked in on the app and got my boarding pass. I am excited to see DarkKnight - I really have missed him bunches!

I have plans for the week - a chest xray and bloodwork on Wednesday, endocrinologist checkup on Friday. I’m going to wash the one paneled wall in the craft room on Tuesday, and maybe the stair risers & treads as well. (I already prepped the wall with the gym doors.) The primer will go up on Wednesday afternoon - hopefully it dries quickly so I can do two coats the same day. Thursday will be the actual paint day. TheEngineer says he is free Tuesday and Thursday to see me, so I will probably have him come over on Thursday. I need to message my friend to come over at some point too, because the corset I surprised her with should have arrived already. Friday I gotta go in the afternoon to pick up MisterMoonbeam.

Whew!

 

[AlwaysGrowing]

We saw a condor when we were at the Grand Canyon about a month ago! It was so cool to watch

 

[Bluebird]

I’m home!!! It was so great to meet DarkKnight at the baggage claim yesterday and be welcomed into his big hug. We stopped at the Silver Diner in Frederick for dinner, and I was absolutely exhausted after we finally got home. I emptied my backpack, put on pajamas, and then emptied 5 of the 6 upstairs litter boxes. I also tackled the mail.



That’s Poppy, our blind kitty, asking me to clear off the bed so she can jump up!

I’m a little overwhelmed this morning - I need to clean the remaining litter box upstairs, as well as the one in the basement. I need to start laundry - I have two suitcases to unload - and the bird feeders are all empty. The mail that I opened all needs to be dealt with. Some of the packages were Christmas gifts, and it’s time to pull out everything that I previously purchased and make a list of what I still need to buy for the holidays. Some of the packages were garb, and I need to try on some outfits and see if they work for the events I have them planned for coming up. I definitely need to make a better list for all of it - which jewelry pieces I need to create, etc.

Which reminds me, I did talk to DarkKnight last night and we are going to go to Key City Steampunk again next year, and we are going to tailor our outfits to be bees! I’ve been working on a Pinterest for a queen bee look, and it occurred to me yesterday on the plane that it would be great for steampunk - and there are tons of pieces that I found on Pinterest that already feature this mashup! DarkKnight was completely on board so I’m excited!

This was my original inspiration photo:



Not like, the actual look but a jump off point in colors.

I’ve been waiting for the Belle Gold fabric to come back on sale in a Vixen corset so I could start the base of the look, but this week Damsel in this Dress has her “SpongeBob yellow” look in a cropped Vixen with pockets. I posted and asked for someone to assist with showing me these two colors together - and I don’t hate it.

This is the piece I am thinking of purchasing on Thursday (just the cropped corset & pockets):



Here’s the Belle Gold corset with the SpongeBob color in a vest & sleeves near it:



So the Belle Gold is definitely shiny and the crop would be velvety softness over the top of it. And then I have my new Docs:



It’s a start! I’m definitely thinking I’d layer two tulle skirts from Amazon to make the bottom flowy, and then a black shirt maybe?

Gah! The issue is, I don’t want to spend time focusing on an outfit for the summer right now! My energy needs to be on my Yuletide look since that’s literally about a month away, and for part of this time I’m going to be in Texas, and incapacitated due to my surgery. Like, girl, FOCUS. Unfortunately I do need to make a decision on whether to buy the cropped corset & pockets or not - they’ll be listed up for sale on Thursday and then gone in a couple of days.

I need to get up and dressed soon - I do have to mail my nephew’s birthday present out today, so that’s a trip to the post office. I plan to do that in the morning, and then spend the afternoon washing the wall and stairs in the basement, to prep for painting tomorrow.

 

[Bluebird]

I blame the Democratic Party for this failure.
Nothing is going to be great. Trump is a disaster. However, I was never optimistic about Kamala, because the fucking Dems keep shoving these candidates down our throats. We wanted Bernie, and we got Hilary. They should have stopped bullshitting Biden earlier so we could have had a real primary and a CHOICE.

I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing and helping my community as best I can. Hopefully my health improves and I can do more.

 

[Brazen]

I'm sorry to say but as a poc in the UK I thought Kamala was not the right choice for a number of reasons. It felt very similar to RBG choice not to stand down when a dem good candidate could have taken her place in the SC. People should choose country over their own ambitions.

I'm sorry its so hard. But we can grow and bloom our flowers and carry on xxx

 

[Bluebird]

MisterMoonbeam called me unexpectedly when I was out to dinner with DarkKnight tonight. “You know that thing we always talked about happening, what we worried about happening? Well it happened.”

I was speechless. Yes, I had the election results but it had been a day. Did we have to sell our house? Was he being asked to move to Arizona? Did he get someone pregnant on accident? Gah! These all went though my mind in a second.

It seems his youngest son had messaged him and asked to move in with us. With his wife and daughter. Gah!

It looks like this may happen. They currently live with my daughter-in-law’s parents, in Texas. We have plane tickets and reservations to travel to see them at the beginning of December - almost exactly a month from now. It seems as though we will be flying down as planned for the baby’s first birthday, but then driving back with a moving truck.

Plans are being discussed. No one in my house wants this baby girl being raised in Texas, but we didn’t really plan on her being raised in our house! This was a curve ball, though we HAD discussed it.

I have surgery in 14 days. Now I only have that amount of time to get the tree up, empty the spare bedroom into the garage for storage, move most of my garb, my clothing and my daily stuff into that space, as well as baby proof the entire house. I still have our first aid kits to assemble, and I didn’t even start October’s fire safety list. I haven’t painted anything in the basement since coming back from Arizona. Ahhhhhh!

I did get my chest xray done and my bloodwork is all complete as of this morning. Everything was PHENOMENAL. I have never been this healthy. My average blood glucose was 105 and my A1C is 5.3. I had a full metabolic panel run - amazing. My lipid panel was unbelievable - all of my cholesterol numbers are perfect. I also had a CBC with differential run (whatever that stands for) and it was also without flaw. I really can’t believe it! So that’s all great news, anyway.

This new potential household dynamic though - whoa. I might become a stay-at-home-grandma! I really don’t know at this point. We still have a lot of talking to do.

 

[breathemusic]

Soooo, of course not sure how much detail of other's you really want to share here, but what's the driving need for his son and fam to move out of texas so quickly? I absolutely understand not wanting to raise a daughter in a state with some of the anti-women's policies that they have.... but she's a 1 year old. She's not at risk of getting pregnant any time soon. If the concern is for mom's health, even that I guess I'm wondering what is the urgency? Texas has had crappy laws on the books for women's health for a while now. Trump doesn't get sworn in until Jan and even then it would likely take months for policy changes to happen. I get that people are feeling really strong emotional reactions to the election right now (I'm definitely feeling the disappointment/anger/shock/etc in my country hard right now).

I just don't really see why this means they need to plan to pack up and flee in a month or less? Why wouldn't they just go ahead and start job hunting in blue states (if their jobs aren't remote), and move after they have new employment and then house/apartment/whatever hunt, and if they own then they can sell their place etc. Either way, I think folks basically just need to feel their post election feelings, but be able to more rationally sit down and start making a plan if that means doing something like relocating, etc.

 

[SEASONEDpolyAgain]

Soooo, of course not sure how much detail of other's you really want to share here, but what's the driving need for his son and fam to move out of texas so quickly? I absolutely understand not wanting to raise a daughter in a state with some of the anti-women's policies that they have.... but she's a 1 year old. She's not at risk of getting pregnant any time soon. If the concern is for mom's health, even that I guess I'm wondering what is the urgency? Texas has had crappy laws on the books for women's health for a while now. Trump doesn't get sworn in until Jan and even then it would likely take months for policy changes to happen. I get that people are feeling really strong emotional reactions to the election right now (I'm definitely feeling the disappointment/anger/shock/etc in my country hard right now).

I just don't really see why this means they need to plan to pack up and flee in a month or less? Why wouldn't they just go ahead and start job hunting in blue states (if their jobs aren't remote), and move after they have new employment and then house/apartment/whatever hunt, and if they own then they can sell their place etc. Either way, I think folks basically just need to feel their post election feelings, but be able to more rationally sit down and start making a plan if that means doing something like relocating, etc.

I think the election results are incidental and he was referring to previous conversations that the family might need to move in for whatever other reason(s).

 

[Bluebird]

Soooo, of course not sure how much detail of other's you really want to share here, but what's the driving need for his son and fam to move out of texas so quickly? I absolutely understand not wanting to raise a daughter in a state with some of the anti-women's policies that they have.... but she's a 1 year old. She's not at risk of getting pregnant any time soon. If the concern is for mom's health, even that I guess I'm wondering what is the urgency? Texas has had crappy laws on the books for women's health for a while now. Trump doesn't get sworn in until Jan and even then it would likely take months for policy changes to happen. I get that people are feeling really strong emotional reactions to the election right now (I'm definitely feeling the disappointment/anger/shock/etc in my country hard right now).

I just don't really see why this means they need to plan to pack up and flee in a month or less? Why wouldn't they just go ahead and start job hunting in blue states (if their jobs aren't remote), and move after they have new employment and then house/apartment/whatever hunt, and if they own then they can sell their place etc. Either way, I think folks basically just need to feel their post election feelings, but be able to more rationally sit down and start making a plan if that means doing something like relocating, etc.

Neither of them are skilled workers. My daughter-in-law hasn’t worked most of her life. Stepson is underemployed at the moment, not making much more than minimum wage, I think. The election is entirely not an issue right now, for the reasons you mentioned - they don’t like the idea of their daughter growing up there, but that isn’t driving the move. I think for all of us, it’s a consideration but not an immediate one.

MisterMoonbeam, DarkKnight and I had earlier discussions about them relocating to live with us because they have been relying on the kindness of her parents to assist them for a bit now. We figured at some point, her parents would grow weary of that in their retirement, and then they would then reach out to us for more help. And they finally have. I believe they’ve worn out their welcome and there is now tension in the household.

I definitely am stressed about it, but I believe we can do good with this. At different times, I have allowed each of my own kids to move back home and relaunch. I wouldn’t do less for MisterMoonbeam’s kiddos.

We live in an area with a good number of warehouses, so they should each be able to have on the spot interviews and hopefully gain employment quickly. The warehouse gig would have them each doing a 3-day shift each week. I could trade that time with them with whatever I end up doing - whether it’s working with a non-profit agency, a school, or starting a business. I can watch the baby the days they are at work.

There will be a time limit set, and the money they pay us for rent will partially be put into a savings account so they can save enough to get a place of their own. We don’t mind doing this to help. Also, if one would like to enroll in some sort of schooling, we would also support that.

Today TheEngineer came over and so did my youngest. They both assisted in clearing more of the garage, and there is now an open space to hold the Texas family’s storage items. They are going to bring the stuff they will need for their new apartment - it’s been in storage where they are now since locating there from Arizona.

I’ve been working on the garage on and off for a bit since we moved in. This is what it was the day after we moved in, vs what it is now:




I feel accomplished but there is still too much nonsense. Most of the stuff left are things that actually belong in a garage, so it’s a matter of unpacking. There’s a bunch of donations left as well - I’m hoping next week to have the guys take a car load to Goodwill and a van load to the dump and that will be it for this space for 2024.

I also took measurements today and ordered two closet systems for the spare bedroom. BugGirl is going to come over on Saturday to help me empty it out and MisterMoonbeam says he will assemble the racks on Sunday. Then I can move stuff over a bit at a time during the week.

Also on Saturday, DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam are going to take down Skelliot and put up the Christmas tree for me. Again, then I will be able to decorate the tree during the week at my own pace without overdoing things. The tree is currently in two boxes that TheEngineer brought into the dining room today, and LittleMichigan moved over the empty skeleton box.

TheEngineer was a fount of knowledge today - he showed me what I needed to do to childproof for the baby. His youngest is 2 years old, so he knows what I need for my granddaughter! The plan right now is to put up a baby gate between the sunroom and the game room, and then empty out everything on the bottom two shelves of our shelving in the game room, replacing the games with bins and baby toys. I’m going to get a rug for the room, and that will pretty much be the space for the baby! We have discussed storing the Crokinole table and making a seating area there instead as well.

My daughter-in-law messaged me today and I sent her photos of the room. They’re going to use the bed so I don’t have to pull that out. Everything else will be moved into what I’m calling my Glam Room, or go into storage. Here’s what my master suite looks like currently:




I also talked to my sister for like an hour today. She’s thinking of buying a restaurant. If anyone can do it, she can. She’s always had this insane work ethic and she’s been managing fast food businesses her entire life. She said at first that I was giving too much to the Texas family, but then she said she would absolutely do the same for her kids too, but she would quickly grow resentful the longer they stayed. She wouldn’t want to give up so much space. I agreed that it’s not going to be a walk in the park, but I do feel like it’s harder economically for so many. I definitely am okay with it short term, even though it is stressful.

 

[SEASONEDpolyAgain]

Fwiw, I think it's the right thing to do in every way.

 

[Bluebird]

I had my endocrinologist visit today and all of my numbers were good - which I already knew. My blood pressure was 116/72 so that was okay as well. She thought the surgeon had me come off of the Mounjaro too soon, and she seemed irritated that my surgeon was NOT the person she had referred me to. She asked me if she was young and when I said no, she sort of harumphed. That made me a little nervous.

She straight up gave me two Mounjaro pens at 2.5! She said that she doesn’t want me restarting the 5.0 after surgery, and instead do two weeks at 2.5 before beginning 5.0 again: I am okay with that.

I am still on a 100% streak, meaning my blood sugar has stayed below 180! This has never happened. My goal is to be 70% compliant so this is amazeballs. I am sure it will spike at some point but I will take 4 days!

MisterMoonbeam is on a plane now, heading home from Arizona. I am so proud of him! He had zero findings this audit, so he looks really good to everyone in the company. He also has finally finessed the computer system to start giving certain reports that are going to pinpoint major issues moving forward. He is excited to be able to do this and he will look even better to the higher-ups. This makes me think he will be right in line to be promoted again. I’m glad for him. He is generally down on himself for not being focused at work, but these are instances that he can’t argue with where he is obviously doing great!

 

[breathemusic]

Ah, that makes so much more sense now!! FWIW, I think that if y'all are able to offer up the support that would allow them to go out and build either some work history (her) and get better pay, or even get some training for some sort of trade, that's awesome (though I'm sure that will definitely be a big change in the household so good on y'all to put a time limit on it). In general I really just don't think we do enough in this country to promote skilled labor. There are so many professions out there that can make good money without a degree if you can manage to get access to the right training, or an apprenticeship, or something.

 

[Bluebird]

I’m stressed to the max. Nine days til surgery! This week I have a pre-op appointment with my regular doctor’s office. Apparently they have to look at me and agree that I need surgery. It’s a stupid thing, because I don’t even have a regular doctor. I see someone different every time I go there. Apparently it’s an checkbox for the insurance company. I mean, the endocrinologist and the ENT surgeon all say it’s a necessity, so I’m not expecting anything different from whatever PA or student doctor they link me up with then. Anyway, that’s on Thursday. I do have therapy on Wednesday so that’s a good thing at least.

When I picked MisterMoonbeam up at the airport, we immediately drove and attended a drum circle that evening! He said he wanted to make it a priority, given the political nonsense and other stress we have, and he thought it would be good for him to reconnect with that community. I’m glad we went - this was only my second time drumming and it was very cathartic. The chants were healing a bit, as well.

The last few days have been a blur. BugGirl came over on Saturday and she got the spare bedroom emptied. DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam took down Skelliot and the tree is up. All of the Halloween bins are labeled and stowed in the garage, and the Christmas ones await my attention today, so I can start decorating.

My new clothing racks are assembled, the spare room has been renamed “the glam room” and it has a new rug. My vanity has been moved over, but I need two new Kallaxes to make a center island. I am hoping to go to IKEA and Home Goods this week. Maybe Wednesday morning for IKEA.

We took down the Crokinole table to make space for one of the small loveseats - the sunroom is cramped with the tree up, so we moved one of the sofas over to make a seating area in the game room. This makes some sense, because we’ve decided to make the game room the baby’s primary play area. MisterMoonbeam secured the bookshelf in there to the wall, and I removed the bottom two layers of games, all around the room. I bought fabric bins to put into the largest Kallax, to hold baby toys.






MisterMoonbeam went into Dulles today, so I have a list to complete alone here at home.

I need to list all of the games we are donating, as we sorted through our collection of 300+ games last night. I’ve already had some inquiries! I have two rugs coming to soften the floor in the game room, so when those arrive I will get those steamed and spread out. I’m going to stage the Christmas bins and maybe start decorating the tree. I have some measuring to do in the glam room, and I need to order a bunch of random stuff to make this work - an ironing board holder, a few baby gates, some hooks. Nonsense but necessary. I am hoping to also have some time to work on the chain of office I need to create for MisterMoonbeam’s Yuletide outfit.

I guess I should get started.

 

[Bluebird]

Today has been difficult. I’ve been trying to process some anger. I have so very many reasons to feel lucky - I am lucky - about my situation, but I’m weepy and feel like things are shitty.

MisterMoonbeam messaged and his big boss meeting got rescheduled to Wednesday. So I had to reschedule my entire week. Therapy is now on Thursday, after my medical appointment. My friend is coming over on Tuesday now, and we’ll run all of my errands and go to IKEA then. My date day with TheEngineer is going to shift to Wednesday, since everything else got moved around. Sigh.

I did get the games all listed online and over half have been claimed. So that’s a positive. But I have no further oomph for today. I did start another load of laundry.

I was excited about my glam room but today it’s really sinking in that I’m being displaced out of my room. I had been without a space of my own for so long, and my master suite has been such a sanctuary for me! The unfairness is sort of heavy right now. I’m going to have to go through my surgery recovery in a room half torn apart and then be shifted to swapping overnights with my two nesting partners. When I finally get healed up, I won’t be able to host my boyfriend. Or any new partners.

Not that I’m looking. Shit is way too chaotic.

I feel like it just SUCKS that I don’t get to have sex this year. MisterMoonbeam has been really sweet about it, and hasn’t been dating anyone either. But, there’s nothing stopping him from bringing new partners home on nights when I am with DarkKnight. Which was the case previously, but it’s just hitting me different knowing that he’s going to have that freedom to host because he has a private bedroom, and I don’t and so I can’t.

We also had a conversation the other day about the guys getting vasectomies, given the political climate. DarkKnight said if he ever gets the urge to start dating (after he again reiterated that he feels he is Ace and doesn’t want that at all) he will schedule one immediately. MisterMoonbeam said he would *think* about it, but it just seems so final. I was kinda like, huh? You’re going to be 50 and have two grandchildren. Don’t you think that finality is something you should have at this point? He said, yeah, and he was aware I would leave him if he accidentally got someone pregnant, so he doesn’t want to do that at all. But still, a vasectomy is a big step. This made me feel some sort of way, I tell you that.

That said, I don’t think he needs to get a vasectomy. Certainly not right now. There’s no one in his life that can get pregnant (his comet partner is done with her pregnancies) and he’s not looking at young chicks who want babies when he is on dating sites. But I don’t know, my head is a mess and I’m a mess emotionally. I physically hurt from this fucking thyroid - it sits in my throat like a heavy rock. It was just a surprise to hear him articulate his feelings on that topic. Again though, it doesn’t matter because it’s not actually applicable to our real life as it is right now.

But I’m angry because I hurt all the time. I’m aggravated because I can’t have the sex I want. I’m weepy for both of those reasons too. I am exhausted by this year of rest. And it seems like it’s ending just to become a year of more stress with extended family moving in. I don’t even know what to do with that. Both of the guys keep telling me that it’s all going to fall on me since they will be at work and yes that’s true. And usually this is a challenge I would be excited and happy to take on. However, combining that with the surgeries and my on-going pain, I just…I’m tired. I need a hug right now.