Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

[Magdlyn]

It's understandable you're tired, in pain, nervous about surgery... and now you've got another family moving into your large groovy house, with an energetic toddler!

I wanted to get more clarity about your so-called glam room. Was that formerly your own bedroom? But you're making the choice to convert it to a storage room/dressing room for your huge and growing collection of garb? Why isn't this room still "BB's place"?

Sometimes in aristocratic homes of old (maybe still, I don't know), a man's dressing room also had a bed for the man to sleep in if he was "in the doghouse" with the wife, or came home late/drunk from a party and didn't want to disturb her, or... let's face it, to bed a mistress.

 

[Bluebird]

My glam room was a spare bedroom. We’ve had bunches of people stay in it.



Now all of this furniture is in the garage, and the walls are lined with clothing racks.

The master suite is my current bedroom. It’s honestly bigger than my first apartment! It has two closets and a big bathroom with a jetted tub, and a separate sliding door entrance to the back deck.





This is all mine. DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam trade off nights with me here, but have their own bedrooms as well that are masculine and their own.

I am emptying this space to have MisterMoonbeam’s son’s family stay in it. For who knows how long…



It’s really hard to see all of my stuff be redistributed throughout the house, and/or go into storage. It was weird tonight to sleep in my space with things missing.

 

[Magdlyn]

I'm trying to understand. It's nice of you to give up your huge "master" bedroom to MM's kids for a time. (I hope this adult couple with a child gets jobs and can afford a place soon. Do they have severe health problems that prevent them from working?) You're also giving up your game room to be the child's playspace. A one year old doesn't need a ton of space.

But since you have so many clothes, or "garb," you don't have a space for you to have your own bedroom. Right? If, instead of having dozens of corsets, skirts, blouses and accessories hanging on racks, they were stored in bins in the basement or garage, you'd be able to have that room, the former guest room, as your own bedroom? I understand collecting things. I do too. But I'd put more stuff in storage if I absolutely had to host relatives that absolutely had nowhere else to go, if having my own bedroom were extremely important to me. You seem quite upset that you can't have a clothing storage room/dressing room AND a bedroom of your own, but the clothes on racks are taking priority?

 

[Bluebird]

Not upset that I can’t have two separate spaces - I had just one in the master suite and that sufficed because of the size. The closets were wonderful!

There is definitely a trade off. Condensing *all* of my belongings into the smallest bedroom is not happening. It’s just not possible. Removing the extra bed makes more sense than putting almost everything I own into storage. Especially since there’s no guarantee that the surgeon will clear me for sex again at the end of December. Even if he does, the reality is that having sleepovers with new partners is not something that is on my dance card for the beginning of next year, but events involving garb are.

We have tickets and hotel rooms and plans to meet up with friends, scheduled both this year and next already - so stuffing my outfits into bins and into the garage would not work. It also is one of the things I love the most to do! To give that up would also be devastating to me. I’m also thinking that with a baby in the house - I’m going to need those breaks to go and do something other than be a grandma.

We’re not giving up our game room. Here’s the look as of last night:



I have to give up the bottom half of the game room. Which, even with gifting away a bunch, we still have not enough storage for our games now. The bins in the big Kallax are empty but they will be to hold the baby’s toys. (Say hi to Poppy, eating her feet.) I can make it work!

At one, the baby is starting to toddle around and this space is great in that there are four different entrances and three can be closed. The other is the opening and step down into the sunroom, so there is a lot of bright light in this space. The long baby gate I ordered will arrive today and MisterMoonbeam will get it installed tonight, I hope. We figure that the baby won’t need to have access to the whole house and this is the hub of our home, so it’s perfect for her.

There’s no reasons they can’t work that I know of. I do think there is a lot of postpartum stuff going on with my daughter-in-law, so we may need to address that first off.

 

[Bluebird]

Yesterday I met up with an friend and she hung out with me while I ran some errands. I had an Amazon return to ship out, and a package to send to someone I met this year at the Maryland Ren Faire. Afterward, we hit up the Dollar Store, Walmart, and Home Depot, so I could finish up my October safety projects. I have Amazon orders coming today, so I should be able to mark my first aide kits and fire prevention checklists as complete finally. Everything cost WAY more than I anticipated, but I got it done! I’m looking forward to having this stuff all put away - my gaming table has been basically inaccessible all week.

After running my errands, we moved over most of my garb into the new glam room, but the space was more limited than I had planned. I ended up buying an additional hanging rack to hold my longer cloaks and capes. I’m hoping to have MisterMoonbeam put it together when it arrives on Thursday! I have just enough space in the far corner to fit this in - whew!


I am even more excited to get this put together - the glam room is starting to feel like MINE, now that it has more of my things in it! I was irritated to have to purchase yet another thing, but there wasn’t another option as there are too many heavy garment bags with no place to go!

My daughter BugGirl came over again last night and moved my egg chair into DarkKnight’s bedroom. It’s looking pretty empty in my master suite, but there is a plan in place and we are working it. This was an intense-feeling part of the process - I use this nook almost daily to sit in and relax.



To be honest, I haven’t gone to see what it looks like in DarkKnight’s space yet. I plan to go in there this morning and hang out with my cat Lenny, maybe while I am having my morning protein shake. I know it’s going to be cramped in the corner, but it’s temporary, for sure. After the Christmas tree is taken down, it’s going to go into the sunroom. Right now there’s just no space there!

Anyway, to make space for the egg swing, they had to cram his old chair into the van, which was already fairly full of trash as the dump run won’t be until this weekend. They had to pull the pallets out - they’re now stashed in the backyard and ready for the burn pit.



Oh! I just had an alert that my Amazon order arrived! That has to be the first aide stuff. Whoo hoo!

 

[Bluebird]

My household first aide kits (one upstairs, one down) are complete and ready to go. The two others are pieced together, but I am waiting on the actual cases to arrive in the mail.



The vehicle kits have an emergency blanket, hand warmers and eye wash assistance, both otherwise everything else is the same. I will be SO GLAD to have these complete. I’m waiting for Saturday, and I will have the guys install all of the smoke and carbon monoxide alarms, and then my October Safety Updates are donesies.

So apparently, is the idea that my stepson and his little family are coming here!

He messaged me today, very upset, saying that his wife didn’t want to leave her parents. I was like, well, then stay. He wanted me to talk to her and convince her that it was better to leave, because she was being guilted into remaining in that household. I was like, no dude, you need to figure that out yourself. You’re thinking practically, she’s emotional, and this is your marriage to save.

Apparently other grandma promises to turn the internet back on and all will be well. I am relieved, but I am not convinced it’s going to stay calmed down. However, I can now move forward with less urgency!

My primary care pre-op approval went well, and I had a therapy appointment this afternoon which was also good.



I was dressed comfy today, and I was feeling overall positive. My youngest came over and moved all of my regular clothes back into my walk-in closet.

I feel like all along this week, I made the correct decisions, because now I will have my master suite back AND I will have a glam room! I’m going to use the entire space for my garb, and it’s going to be amazing. Right now MisterMoonbeam is putting together the new section of closet to hold my cloaks. I plan to take the bins that I had bought for the baby’s playroom and utilize them in my space, to hold outfit pieces like belts and pockets and such. I wouldn’t have purchased the runner in the game room, but it looks good and I don’t feel bad about it.

The only thing I need to return is the long baby gate, and I have to do that before January 31. I told the guys I am going to hold onto it for a bit in case things go topsy turvy again in Texas, just in case.

The great thing about this set up is that I can host in the future because I have my own bedroom again, and if people want to stay over as guests, I can pop out and crash in a partner’s room. I don’t mind giving up my room once in a while. I’ve done that bunches already when we have several friends and family over.

Whew!

 

[Magdlyn]

Is it that the son and DIL won't get jobs, and so her mom said she wasn't going to pay for their internet? So they were gonna move to your place where you were going to give them a huge bedroom (the size of an entire apartment) with its own bathroom, plus a playroom, a big yard to play in, fancy surroundings in general, internet, live-in childcare (you) even though they're not working, etc.?

 

[Bluebird]

So far I have only heard the side from my stepson and daughter-in-law, and truthfully, it didn’t sound good from their end.

We were going to try to get them relaunched, yes. At this point, it sounds like they won’t be independent anytime soon. My children are very different from them, as they were always able to come home and manage to move back out - even with all of the things you listed. I’m not sure what makes one person different from another in that regard.

To me it sounded like my stepson did want to breakaway and get back into their own place, but his wife wants to stay with her parents. I hope they are able to figure it out.

 

[ref2018]

So far I have only heard the side from my stepson and daughter-in-law, and truthfully, it didn’t sound good from their end.

We were going to try to get them relaunched, yes. At this point, it sounds like they won’t be independent anytime soon. My children are very different from them, as they were always able to come home and manage to move back out - even with all of the things you listed. I’m not sure what makes one person different from another in that regard.

To me it sounded like my stepson did want to breakaway and get back into their own place, but his wife wants to stay with her parents. I hope they are able to figure it out.

Bullet dodged.

 

[Bluebird]

Bullet dodged.

I feel like it was. I was happy to help, and I would like to think it would have been great for them. However, it was the worst time and now I have an amazing space.

 

[SEASONEDpolyAgain]

Have you thought of fostering a mother and baby in a similar situation? I'm not saying give them that room! Just I think it might be something you'd be great at in terms of helping a new mom adapt to parenthood/independence.

 

[Bluebird]

Have you thought of fostering a mother and baby in a similar situation? I'm not saying give them that room! Just I think it might be something you'd be great at in terms of helping a new mom adapt to parenthood/independence.

We have not and will not. I don’t want a baby in my space if I can help it. I enjoyed my time as a parent in the past, but our lives are not set up in the least for an infant. I was willing to make concessions for family, but my foster/adoption days are finished.

We have briefly discussed fostering homeless youth - my friend works for an organization that helps teens in high school who are forced into independence, after their parents are deported or they are orphaned due to parental drug use. This interested me a great deal, but this specific time in my life is not that time.

 

[Bluebird]

Ugh our fiber company is having issues today. Internet is down and the cell phone data is also sketchy now. MisterMoonbeam had important meetings and was going to drive to work to host there but I convinced him to go to the local library (like 5 minutes away) and get a free study room. He just texted that he was able to connect there so he has saved himself an hour and a half drive (one way)! Now I am home alone with no vehicle, however I didn’t have any plans to go out.

I’ve had two nightmares this week and it sucks. I’m stressed, I guess! I have three tasks in my to-do list, but they’re all biggies so realistically I will maybe finish one and get started on another:

1. Finish decorating our Christmas tree. I did get ornament hooks the other day, so I’m good to finish this up. However, I’m a little nervous about climbing a 12 foot ladder and doing this on my own, so I probably won’t do this until tomorrow.

2. Organize my glam room. I think everything I need is stashed in this space now, so I need to now organize and move things around. I’m planning to use a lot of the bins I had originally purchased for the game room, so firstly I will pull those out of the Kallax in there and then move my games around! Then I will sort items in the Glam Room - pockets, belts, bracers, etc and put them in the bins. I will need to print labels since these bins aren’t transparent. I’m excited to do this, but this project would actually be easier tomorrow as well, since the two cubbies I bought to use as a center island in the space are arriving this afternoon. MisterMoonbeam will be putting those together tonight, so I’d have a nice countertop to work at height rather than having these bins all on the floor when sorting.

3. PA Yuletide garb. I need to create my headpiece and all of the jewelry for our upcoming event! The chain of office I am making for MisterMoonbeam is the main focal point of his outfit, so it’s important I get this done soon! I think I am apt to work on the jewelry today, and then maybe the headpiece on Sunday. I guess it will depend on my mood once I get downstairs. It’s a crazy mess in my craft room though, as LittleMichigan brought down several boxes and totes from the garage, and they didn’t get put into the storage room yet. They’re just out in the middle of my space. And I had been planning to paint the two walls, so supplies are everyplace.

Tonight DarkKnight and I have a date night - even though we had a sleepover last night! I bought us tickets to see A View from the Bridge put on by the Potomac Playmakers. The last show we saw there was The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, so it was a while ago! I purchased a name plaque during the theater’s annual campaign but it wasn’t installed last time we went, so I am looking forward to seeing it this time! It’s located on the back of one of the theater seats and it’s DarkKnight’s name. I did it to surprise him and he was super happy about it, but we’re not sure which seat it will be on! I’m excited to look for it.

 

[Bluebird]

The play was very good and DarkKnight & I had a lot of fun together. We had dinner at the mall and then walked around the entire place twice, which helped keep my blood sugar down. I’m at 174 pounds now. Only 5 more til my goal weight!



Of course this morning I am up and craving Starbucks. I need a sugar plum cheese danish and if they’re in stock, MisterMoonbeam is going to get me one. I know this is not a good way to start the day, but tis the season and it’s the only time I’ll have one this year.

I did work on my garb room yesterday and the clothing is organized. Everything is in bins and I’m not happy with the overall look, but it’s a start. Harry says hello!



Tonight we are going to the Kindred Crow concert and though we had discussed it, we didn’t plan anything. I’m gonna work on creating MisterMoonbeam’s chain of office today so making some shiny things to swap at their trinket table is going to happen as well. I’m not sure what I’m going to wear, as the suggestion is to dress like a crow! I have a bunch of black feathers so if I have time I will maybe make a small headpiece or add some to my emo karaoke look.

We’re supposed to do the State of the Union meeting today but it got delayed from last week and I haven’t looked at it at all in a while. Gah! I am out of time for everything.

 

[Bluebird]

I had a good time at the show last night, and I really enjoyed the opening act, which had a rendition of Savage Daughter, which is one of my favorite pagan songs!



DarkKnight:



MisterMoonbeam:



Today is D&D for the guys, which I do not plan to rejoin until after the holidays. I will probably put away my laundry during that, and work in the garb room! This morning I need to shower and then finish decorating the Christmas tree.

 

[Bluebird]

I am having the WORST cramps the last few days. Being off of Mounjaro is no joke. I’m back to being constipated, which is one of the side effects I battled when on it, so I do not understand. lol DarkKnight gave me an enema yesterday morning - my first in months - and the smell was horrific. I plan to do another one this morning once I am up and about, if nothing happens on its own.

I am anxious AF about surgery tomorrow. I’m waiting to hear from the hospital today so I have an arrival time. I’m hoping it’s early so I can just be done with this! I have my instructions so I am ready to shower tonight and wash with my Hibiclens (tonight and tomorrow) though I still need to pack my overnight bag. I’m actually wound up and can’t even remember what I packed during my first surgery.

I am terrified.

TheEngineer is coming over today, even though he knows I’m doing nothing but prepping my house for my one-two night absence. That sounds so silly! I guess it is more than that. It’s really getting things ready for me to be out of commission for a 2-3 week recovery. Just the hard stuff - the Christmas tree is still not finished being decorated, and like, I am not climbing a 12 foot ladder after surgery!

I should probably iron a couple of outfits for MisterMoonbeam for work - get that prepped for the beginning of next week. I also need to finish up his chain of office for his PA Yuletide garb. I decided to add some larger garnet-colored shinies to it.

I have to go to the post office and mail out Christmas gifts for my brother’s kids - I bought them both Advent calendars and I don’t want that getting forgotten. I wrapped a bunch of gifts yesterday and I need to update my list as to what is still needed.

My garb room is looking good but there are still a few things I need to complete to have it considered totally set up. I ran out of time to purchase a counter top for my island so TheEngineer promised to help with that when I am recovered. In the meantime, I just put down a cloth to cover the top.



I also got some magnetic hooks hung up for the closet doors - so I can figure out outfits but also it gives me a place to hang up MisterMoonbeam’s suit coats when they are ironed and ready to be worn. Here they are with some dresses, to show what I mean.

I’m really eager to empty out the closet and tear out the shelves and long bar (that is currently bending). Right now all of our foster kitty bins and crates are inside, as well as the guys’ garb. I want to do demo, paint, and then install a new closet system that works better for the kilts and other men’s pieces. That will be next year though!

 

[Bluebird]

It hurts, but not even close to what the previous surgery was at. I don’t feel like the Tylenol/ibuprofen is helping but it’s only at a level 3 pain so I am surviving.

My blood pressure was 114/73 when the day started but it’s still now at 131/82 It was much higher 240ish but it’s slowly coming down. I’ve cried a few times because I am so stressed out.

My blood sugar is horrific. Can you guess what time my surgery was? The surgeon says that the IV probably had sugar in it. You don’t fucking say? They gave me my first insulin shot ever but it didn’t seem to do much.



They brought in dinner and gave me that shot right before eating. It didn’t hurt.



Holy shit though it didn’t do anything to help the food they served me. I said something when they brought the tray in - I was like, Mac & cheese is not a diabetic food and neither is gravy or carrots! And diced peaches in fruit juice? wtf?



At that point it had been 20 hours since I had eaten, so I scarfed it down. The nurse was like, well I can request something else but this is a diabetic meal. So now I’m at 282 which is a number I have never seen on my Sensor, ever.

When I just mentioned it to her again, she was like well you ate it. You could have sent it back.

Sigh, which is the truth, but I was starving and she had reiterated that it was approved by their dietician. And what, wait another 2 hours why they coordinated to get me something else? No ma’am.

I’m supposed to get more insulin at 9 pm. I really want to go home. I am so glad my voice is safe but I am weepy and still afraid - of what I don’t know. The surgeon will do her rounds tomorrow around 8 am and my calcium is solid, so I should be able to go home after breakfast.

Which I’m stressed about because I got a call and the dudes are coming over to start demo on my bathroom at 7 am tomorrow! So right now I don’t know how I am getting home as DarkKnight went home with the car and I’m not having my daughters come over and sit in my house with a strange crew of men we don’t know.

 

[Bluebird]

I had an okay night. My blood sugar is still high but not us ugly as yesterday. They are continuing to give me yogurt to take all of meds with - and they’re cutting the pain pills as well. I had my first dose of Levothyroxine this morning and I am happy to report it’s as small as my Estradiol and Atorvastatin so it shouldn’t cause me issues moving forward.

I slept between 9:00 and 11:30, and then until 3:37 am, at which point I was awake. I’ve just been on my phone since then. I want to sleep again but the surgeon should be in to see me around 8 am. I’m anticipating being sent home. TheEngineer says he will drive us home so that should work!

 

[Bluebird]

I had a very calm day at home. TheEngineer stayed over til later afternoon and I fell asleep with him hugging me. That was pretty great.

Our bathroom is all done!

Before:



During:





We were really surprised that there wasn’t more mold as the grout had been mostly disintegrated at this point.

After:





I’m still bummed that I lost all that vintage tile, but the contractor saved it everywhere else in the room, and just replaced the tub surround with a prefabricated set of panels. I really don’t care for the subway tile look either but it’s a million times better for now!

I was really happy that they did it in one day as well - 2 guys and like 6 hours, I think? I just paid them a minute ago through PayPal. Thankfully we had a credit card set aside that had nothing on it, with 0% interest until December 2025. I’m going to have to budget $200 a month until then to get it paid off, but at least it won’t cost us interest!

Now that I know my voice is okay, I am looking forward to being able to go to work and do something meaningful financially for the family next year. It was such a huge relief when I was able to talk in the recovery room yesterday! Today my throat is a lot more sore though.

The surgeon said that she had a second surgeon on hand with me because my thyroid was one of the largest she personally had ever seen. She called it beefy, and angry and vascular. She said there was zero doubt to everyone in the operating room that it was causing me significant pain. This was somewhat humorous to me, because I am the biggest baby when it comes to pain, and this had been aching for so long, that it had become background noise and just something I was living with, if that makes sense. I’m looking forward to being pain-free in the weeks ahead!

Tonight it hurts a lot though! The surgeon said day 3 is usually the worst, which will be Friday - in a half hour or so! I definitely feel like my neck is stiffening up and I have to think to turn my head and stretch it. It hurts to do that but it needs to be moved. Up to this point it’s just been like a very bad sore throat. My pain was up to a 4 but mostly has been at a 2. Right now it’s back to a 4. I’m taking 500 mg of Tylenol every four hours, and then twice a day I take Celecoxib.

She did give me some oxy but I opted not to take any yet. If I feel the pain increase past a 4, I definitely will.

I go for bloodwork on Monday - TheEngineer said he can take me, since DarkKnight will be at work and MisterMoonbeam has to go in to Dulles that day. It’s to check my calcium levels. So far the parathyroids look to be doing well! I am taking a calcium pill twice a day with D3 just to make sure. If the labs come back good, I will be able to discontinue those pills. They are huge, so I am hoping for the best with that!

My post-op follow up is on Tuesday morning with the surgeon. I am hoping that the biopsy and examination of the thyroid comes back zero cancer. I’m not really stressed about it. Maybe I should be, but right now my focus is on healing!

 

[Bluebird]

I took an oxy yesterday and another one around 1:30 am. This morning I feel loopy and exhausted but not much in pain, so I took Tylenol again with my morning meds. It’s insane the number of pills I am currently taking.

Silly me thought I’d be okay enough today to go to the Christmas markets at the local college and downtown. Yeah, I’m in bed and I’m staying in bed. When I get tired of laying here I will go lay in the game room. I’m in no condition to go anyplace.

I did budgeting with the guys this morning and we paid all of the bills. We worked through the Christmas lists of everyone. DarkKnight dropped his Apple Watch on the tile floor and cracked the back this morning, so that was a $400+ charge that was unexpected. Ugh. As far as Christmas goes though, I think we are looking good with gifts. Later if I am more alert I need to do some wrapping and see what I am still missing. The checklist we just did makes it seem like we’re okay!

DarkKnight is going to go grocery shopping in a bit, and will be grabbing all of the Thanksgiving stuff we need for next weekend. We’ve also decided to get BugGirl’s boyfriend a significant gift certificate to a golf driving range so he’s going to go pick that up. Also, a Sheetz gift card for LittleMichigan’s significant other.

At the moment, MisterMoonbeam is out running his own errands! We are out of sunflower seed hearts and birdseed, so he’s going to snag those. He has a sport coat and a kilt to pick up from the cleaners, as well as a kilt to drop off, and a pair of pants to get hemmed.

He installed most of our new smoke detectors yesterday so I hope those get finished today, along with the carbon monoxide alarms.

Me, I think I’m going to fall asleep just writing this, omg.