Hello all! Writing about myself in any capacity is not the easiest thing but here goes.
My husband and I have been together for 24 years. He is 48 and I am 44. Our relationship has been mostly good, we met when the internet was young and married before it was legal. We lived in mono bliss until our move in the late 2000’s, and it was anything but wonderful. He engaged in infidelity, which as one might imagine created a huge shift in the dynamic, nearly from the beginning of our residency to a much larger city.
It fundamentally changed how we lived our lives together in every aspect, which is as to be expected. We have both embraced therapy independently and together and although far from where we are, we have both made the conscious decision to remain in the marriage and repair the trust that was broken. Extremely out of character for me, as I do not condone the behavior and have always made it clear that I have a very open mind that only requires communication before action.
But I digress.
3 years ago, in June, I finally accepted that I am a transgender woman. So the dynamic changes again. The fight to accept myself has always been there, but was typically silenced by growing up in the “pink is for girls” and “man up” era of the early 90’s.
I never fit into a mold that was good enough, and I had a hell of a time keeping up appearances to appease those around me for sake of sanity and safety. This naturally came as a shock, however my husband did accept me for who I am, and aside from some learning curves, has remained a staunch supporter. It has been refreshing to reconnect as my most authentic self.
However, with hormones comes change both physically and mentally. I am now navigating my life in a way that I never thought I would, and support aside, my husband is still very much a gay man. So naturally, we discussed options.
We have both agreed, after considerable research, that polyamory is something we are both drawn too. It has led us here in the hopes of continuing our understanding of all that goes into making solid, smart, and respectful decisions when it comes to this next stage of our lives and relationship.
So thank you for taking the time to read this and for having a space we can both learn and grow in.
My husband and I have been together for 24 years. He is 48 and I am 44. Our relationship has been mostly good, we met when the internet was young and married before it was legal. We lived in mono bliss until our move in the late 2000’s, and it was anything but wonderful. He engaged in infidelity, which as one might imagine created a huge shift in the dynamic, nearly from the beginning of our residency to a much larger city.
It fundamentally changed how we lived our lives together in every aspect, which is as to be expected. We have both embraced therapy independently and together and although far from where we are, we have both made the conscious decision to remain in the marriage and repair the trust that was broken. Extremely out of character for me, as I do not condone the behavior and have always made it clear that I have a very open mind that only requires communication before action.
But I digress.
3 years ago, in June, I finally accepted that I am a transgender woman. So the dynamic changes again. The fight to accept myself has always been there, but was typically silenced by growing up in the “pink is for girls” and “man up” era of the early 90’s.
I never fit into a mold that was good enough, and I had a hell of a time keeping up appearances to appease those around me for sake of sanity and safety. This naturally came as a shock, however my husband did accept me for who I am, and aside from some learning curves, has remained a staunch supporter. It has been refreshing to reconnect as my most authentic self.
However, with hormones comes change both physically and mentally. I am now navigating my life in a way that I never thought I would, and support aside, my husband is still very much a gay man. So naturally, we discussed options.
We have both agreed, after considerable research, that polyamory is something we are both drawn too. It has led us here in the hopes of continuing our understanding of all that goes into making solid, smart, and respectful decisions when it comes to this next stage of our lives and relationship.
So thank you for taking the time to read this and for having a space we can both learn and grow in.
