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Ivybird22

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Hello my name is Ivy. I live in Nebraska. I am pansexual and a female. I am 22 years old. I am single. I know about polyamory and have tried it before, but sadly it didn’t work out. But that's ok. Not all relationships are meant to work out.

I enjoyed the experience, but one of my partners made the relationship something I didn’t want. It felt like my two partners were having a relationship and I was just on the side lines. It is just something that happens sometimes and I am ok now. That experience didn’t discourage me from still wanting to be involved in the community and from me wanting to try a poly relationship. I would to get to know more people in the poly community and learn more about polyamory.
 
Greetings Ivy,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I am glad you have not given up on poly even though your first experience with it was less than ideal. Polyamory.com is a great place to learn more about poly, so explore our threads and boards, and post your thoughts and questions as they arise. I am glad you could be with us.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Ivybird22 said:
Hello my name is Ivy. I live in Nebraska. I am pansexual and a female. I am 22 years old. I am single. I know about polyamory and have tried it before, but sadly it didn’t work out. But that's ok. Not all relationships are meant to work out. I enjoyed the experience, but one of my partners made the relationship something I didn’t want. It felt like my two partners were having a relationship and I was just on the sidelines. It is just something that happens sometimes. I am ok now. That experience didn’t discourage me from still wanting to be involved in the community and from me wanting to try a poly relationship. I would to get to know more people in the poly community and learn more about polyamory.
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Hello there Ivy, my name is Vica. My husband and I have been in quite the search for a fitting 3rd party to share our lives and adventures with. Like you, it seems to be a learning experience, as it does seem very touch and go, and most experiences have shown us what we don't want. I know it can be hard to dust yourself off and keep going, but we have to think the right situation is still out there.
 
Hi Ivybird and Vica,

Welcome.

I'm not sure, but you both seem think that practicing polyamory means triads (often called throuples), where all three people are involved romantically and sexually. On the contrary, most polyamorists date independently. Much much more common is a V configuration, where one person has two partners, but those partners don't date each other. They may not even meet and know each other!

So, if you're solo, you might have two or three partners, and you date each one individually. If you're part of a couple, usually each member of the couple gets their own gf or bf.

Like this:

John is coupled with Mary. John also dates Kate. Mary also dates Matt.
Kate may also have two or three partners in total who are not involved with each other. Matt may also have two or three partners in total who are not involved with each other. This is called a polyamorous network, or polycule.

You can do several forms of polyamory:
Triads or quads, where all members date each other (this is rare and often ends quickly and with hard feelings, since emotions are not shared equally, and one or more people feel left out, lesser, has FOMO, jealousy, fear of loss, etc.)
Vs, where one person is a hinge and the two legs of the V do not date, although they might be friends (most common form of dating)
Parallel poly, where the hinge's partners do not want to hang out together.
Garden party poly, where the legs of the V may see each other for special occasions, such as holidays or birthdays of the hinge.
Kitchen table poly, where an entire V may enjoy getting together often for dinner or other kinds of hanging out. Sometimes the legs of the V like each other so much, they may even hang out together without their hinge.

As for me, I date in a network. My partners are Pixi and Aries. Pixi also dates Malachi. Aries also dates Sadie. Sadie is married to another guy. Malachi has only one partner, Pixi. I have garden party poly with Pixi, Malachi and Aries. But I have not met Sadie. She lives over 50 miles away and I have no interest in making the trip. I see Aries several days a week, but he only sees Sadie about two nights a month. Pixi spends half the week with me and half the week with Malachi.

Please check the Golden Nuggets section for much more to read about this and other polyamory topics.
 
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