hassan.jacoboski
New member
Hello everyone! My name is Hassan Jacoboski, and I'm from Brazil, currently living in Munich - Germany. 
My name is not the only chaotic and curious thing about me, I swear
I am currently single, and used to be married.
My most recent breakup (someone I met after my ex wife), triggered some serious self reflections and facing of concepts that were engraved on me by the environment I grew up, such as monogamy, and the romantic view of finding your other half.
As someone who is very appreciative of try, fail, try again, but do it different. I got to the point where I realized there was always something missing in my previous relationships. Not that it was a lack of love and care. I had great partners, and I believe I offered my best to them too. But unfortunately life is a roller-coaster and we can't always be the support to each other in the exact time that our other half needed. And those were usually the breaking moments.
This thought led me to think for a long time, that either I would end my days alone, since there is no perfect person that my weaknesses and strengths would complement with each other's. Either I'd die alone, or I'd live with someone knowing that there would be unfulfilled desires, expectations, and plans, sometimes for the "unfairness" of bad timing.
Recently I had an epifany while tackling some team work issues at my job. In a project, I try to use my strengths as best as I can to achieve something great. But, I'm not perfect, and can't do it all by myself. That's why I surrounded myself with a whole team, with skills, and personalities that are different from mine, but since we have common ground and great team work, we use our differences and complementary skills to achieve our goals.
Thinking about how I tackle my work, made me think about how I handled romantic relationships my whole life. I'm imperfect, and I know that, and I always sought for a single person who would have core things in common, but that I could trust to watch my back, and call me out when needed. With that in mind I actually met great people a long the way, and we had amazing times together. The issue was always when we both hit the inevitable wall of being both in a bad time, or having that one small thing for one that was the only thing that the other couldn't make up for, and was really expected from a relationship, based on each other's needs.
That made me think that expecting a complete experience from a single person is too much pressure and expectation. It also made me think, maybe if I had a group of people that I loved, connected, lifted and was lifted by, where we could alternate between our weaknesses and strengths, and different levels of availability, things could be different, and better. That is how I stumbled for the first time with the polyamory concept, and I started researching about it.
Nice to meet you all! I'll probably be more reading than writing, right now, but I'm looking forward to get to know the community.
My name is not the only chaotic and curious thing about me, I swear
I am currently single, and used to be married.
My most recent breakup (someone I met after my ex wife), triggered some serious self reflections and facing of concepts that were engraved on me by the environment I grew up, such as monogamy, and the romantic view of finding your other half.
As someone who is very appreciative of try, fail, try again, but do it different. I got to the point where I realized there was always something missing in my previous relationships. Not that it was a lack of love and care. I had great partners, and I believe I offered my best to them too. But unfortunately life is a roller-coaster and we can't always be the support to each other in the exact time that our other half needed. And those were usually the breaking moments.
This thought led me to think for a long time, that either I would end my days alone, since there is no perfect person that my weaknesses and strengths would complement with each other's. Either I'd die alone, or I'd live with someone knowing that there would be unfulfilled desires, expectations, and plans, sometimes for the "unfairness" of bad timing.
Recently I had an epifany while tackling some team work issues at my job. In a project, I try to use my strengths as best as I can to achieve something great. But, I'm not perfect, and can't do it all by myself. That's why I surrounded myself with a whole team, with skills, and personalities that are different from mine, but since we have common ground and great team work, we use our differences and complementary skills to achieve our goals.
Thinking about how I tackle my work, made me think about how I handled romantic relationships my whole life. I'm imperfect, and I know that, and I always sought for a single person who would have core things in common, but that I could trust to watch my back, and call me out when needed. With that in mind I actually met great people a long the way, and we had amazing times together. The issue was always when we both hit the inevitable wall of being both in a bad time, or having that one small thing for one that was the only thing that the other couldn't make up for, and was really expected from a relationship, based on each other's needs.
That made me think that expecting a complete experience from a single person is too much pressure and expectation. It also made me think, maybe if I had a group of people that I loved, connected, lifted and was lifted by, where we could alternate between our weaknesses and strengths, and different levels of availability, things could be different, and better. That is how I stumbled for the first time with the polyamory concept, and I started researching about it.
Nice to meet you all! I'll probably be more reading than writing, right now, but I'm looking forward to get to know the community.
Last edited:
