Hi everyone .Help please .


New member
Hi everyone, hope your well .So why am here putting a post out .So I'm 46 male my partner female 41 ,having been together 7 years.I have recently been asked whether we she involve a third female in to our bedroom.
Shocked to begin with, kinda excited to. I don't really want any old (not old as in old)person joining us ,I would like a real friendship first .If it's great then possibly a permanent addition to friendship or more .Who knows .
We speak about everything, even been speaking about what we both will allow to happen including a mutual respect no one should feel uncomfortable at any time .
Our sex life is great ,one comment from her "it gets better every time" always a attitude of humour and passion in the bedroom .
Where do you find such a person to join us, with out having to pay hundreds of membership fees. And the risk of great emotional an possible spiritual experience being difficult because of a bad or wrong choice.
Take care and be safe everyone. .


Welcome. It is not easy finding the one that will satisfy the two. Much easier for each to find one. I have a wife and a girlfriend. While they are good friends, they do not interact sexually. Lurk, ask and enjoy.


New member
So we both look for a lady to join us .Its bad enough having to swipe tinder for my disabled client I care for . Is that a option for me now ,"its Tinder time ".


Official Greeter
Staff member
Greetings cornishrob123,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
Here are some links that might aid you in your search:
Hopefully that helps.
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)


There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

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Welcome aboard!



I noticed you commenting on a bunch of dead threads (kindly leave them alone) about needing to Google terminology. So here's our site glossary, it may save you a little time.


Staff member
Hi everyone. I hope you're well. Why am I here putting a post out? I'm 46 and male and my partner is female, 41. We have been together 7 years. I have recently been asked whether we should involve a third female in our bedroom.

I was shocked to begin with, and kind of excited too. I don't really want any old person joining us. I would like a real friendship first. If it's great, then possibly I would want a permanent addition, of friendship or more.

My wife and I speak about everything. We have even been speaking about what we both would allow to happen, including mutual respect. No one should feel uncomfortable at any time.
Where do you find such a person to join you, without having to pay hundreds for membership fees, and avoid the risk of great emotional and possibly spiritual experience, because of a bad or wrong choice?
You will feel discomfort. Opening up a relationship changes everything. Even just talking about it will cause some discomfort from the change. You felt shocked, as you admit. Feeling excited is normal. You and your wife are just fantasizing now. You two can "create" a fantasy woman who pleases you both as a friend and as a lover.

Unfortunately, finding this perfect women, the hot bi babe, who will be your "third," who will "join your relationship," but know her place and not demand equal status, who will be fine as a secret so you don't lose social status, who will have no financial security unless you go to great efforts to create some, who will probably move into your house and maybe not have her own room or her own pots and pans, or be able to decorate the house, and who will be expected to have 3way sex, maybe not one-on-one sex or dates with either of you.... this woman is called a unicorn, because she doesn't exist.

I am speaking from experience. My ex h and I decided we needed a gf to "share" since I was bi and he was straight. It was a disaster. Most prescribed triads are disasters. It's much much better for a poly couple to date separately. Here's why.