Hi! I’m Maya and I am divorced. I have been thinking about polyandry for many years and I finally decided to give it a shot. First I’m here to learn. I want this to go as great as it can be. Polyandry is complicated and I don’t want to rush it since I don’t think is ok to play around with people’s feelings and I don’t want to have hundreds of false starts... lol.
Hi from NY!!
- Thread starter Polykbm
- Start date
Greetings Maya,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
Technically polyandry is illegal, you can't legally/lawfully marry two men, however you can have "unofficial polyandry," I actually have that myself, I am one of the "husbands" in an MFM V. The other guy in the V is the legal/lawful husband, technically I'm "just a boyfriend" but my partner (the woman in our V) considers me as if I were her second husband (and that's how I view it too). So if you have any questions about polyandry, I may be able to answer them.
Have a look around on our various threads and boards, see what calls to you, read and post, there is so much you can learn here, and you are wise to do that first before taking the plunge. You may want to start a thread in General Poly Discussions or Poly Relationships Corner; you could make the title "Questions about Polyandry" or something to that effect.
I hope you'll enjoy your stay with us!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
Technically polyandry is illegal, you can't legally/lawfully marry two men, however you can have "unofficial polyandry," I actually have that myself, I am one of the "husbands" in an MFM V. The other guy in the V is the legal/lawful husband, technically I'm "just a boyfriend" but my partner (the woman in our V) considers me as if I were her second husband (and that's how I view it too). So if you have any questions about polyandry, I may be able to answer them.
Have a look around on our various threads and boards, see what calls to you, read and post, there is so much you can learn here, and you are wise to do that first before taking the plunge. You may want to start a thread in General Poly Discussions or Poly Relationships Corner; you could make the title "Questions about Polyandry" or something to that effect.
I hope you'll enjoy your stay with us!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
Al99
Well-known member
Hi Maya - and welcome to the Forum! We have lots of experienced poly folks here who are generally friendly and helpful so please do not hesitate to post any specific questions that you might have.
I am assuming that you intentionally typed "polyandry" (one wife with multiple husbands). This is certainly one type of polyamory - although as Kevin points out it is technically illegal so only one husband (if any) would be a "legal' husband. Nevertheless, others can obviously be husbands in spirit and practice. In poly circles, polyandry would often be referenced as an MFM V - in which one woman has 2 male partners (but in which the 2 male partners are not romantically or sexually involved - if they were, then it would be "triad"). And, in fact, although most poly folks (married or not) date independently, the MFM V is not uncommon and generally has proven to be a more stable and durable configuration than the FMF V (although that is most often the public perception of poly, in reality the FMF V is fairly rare).
Are you currently involved with any partners that might become part of a polyandrous marriage? Do you have people in mind? Also, will you expect your males partners to be exclusive to you - and will you be exclusive to them? Or will it be an open poly situation? You having the benefit of two sexual partners, but expecting your partners to be satisfied with sharing you might prove to be problematic - but for some it works out just fine.
My wife's boyfriend currently lives with us - and I'm sure it sometimes feels like she has two husbands. Although, in our case, I have other partners as well. (We didn't set out to have a partner living with us - just sort of happened. Our agreement is to each date independently - but with him living with us, we literally have a kitchen table poly household).
Just some thoughts that crossed my mind as I read your post - again, welcome!
Al
I am assuming that you intentionally typed "polyandry" (one wife with multiple husbands). This is certainly one type of polyamory - although as Kevin points out it is technically illegal so only one husband (if any) would be a "legal' husband. Nevertheless, others can obviously be husbands in spirit and practice. In poly circles, polyandry would often be referenced as an MFM V - in which one woman has 2 male partners (but in which the 2 male partners are not romantically or sexually involved - if they were, then it would be "triad"). And, in fact, although most poly folks (married or not) date independently, the MFM V is not uncommon and generally has proven to be a more stable and durable configuration than the FMF V (although that is most often the public perception of poly, in reality the FMF V is fairly rare).
Are you currently involved with any partners that might become part of a polyandrous marriage? Do you have people in mind? Also, will you expect your males partners to be exclusive to you - and will you be exclusive to them? Or will it be an open poly situation? You having the benefit of two sexual partners, but expecting your partners to be satisfied with sharing you might prove to be problematic - but for some it works out just fine.
My wife's boyfriend currently lives with us - and I'm sure it sometimes feels like she has two husbands. Although, in our case, I have other partners as well. (We didn't set out to have a partner living with us - just sort of happened. Our agreement is to each date independently - but with him living with us, we literally have a kitchen table poly household).
Just some thoughts that crossed my mind as I read your post - again, welcome!
Al
I don't want polyandry. I have a live-in female partner (I am also female). (Prior to her I lived monogamously married for 30+ years, then divorced.) My gf has a long term bf who she spends nearly half the week with also, at his house. She met him on a kink site. He is her master. He has no other partners.
She and I have been together 10 years. In that time, she only dated 2 or 3 other men before she met her master.
I however, have dated dozens of men, first dates, second dates. I met them on OK Cupid and Fetlife. I have chatted with literally hundreds of men. However, out of all those chats and dates, I have only ended up with 3 long term male partners. And all 3 of those relationships ended after about 2 1/2 years each. I am friends still with 2 of them, though. I also had a couple long distance relationships of the same duration, and I saw those guys less often, but also for a couple years.
At this point, I am tired of dating. I am trying to transition to just being with my gf. She's great and I am very happy with her. However, I am 64 and I have had a male in my life since I was 15, without more than a month or 2 break. So it does feel weird to be without a bf. But I just can't keep dealing with the stress and heartbreak of all those "false starts" you mention.
However, I don't doubt you're young, attractive and strong, with lots of offer. Good luck finding a couple of guys to love and love you back!
JaneQSmythe
Well-known member
Hello and welcome!
Al is right the MFM - Vee is one of the most common configurations that we see here (and there are endless debates as to why that may be).
The use of the term "polyandry" is interesting because we don't use it very often - mainly, I think, because there are "historical" associations and cultural implications that come with the word (like there is with "polygamy").
Like Kevin, my situation could certainly be construed as polyandry - I am female, I live with my two male partners (my husband of 23 years and my boyfriend of 8 years) and consider them co-primaries. They are not involved with each other romantically, although they are best friends, they are heterosexual.
For me the term polyandry doesn't fit well to my viewpoint - to me it implies exclusivity (while the woman has multiple partners, the males have the same wife and no others). While there are certainly poly folks who are "polyfidelitous" (like Kevin) - that doesn't apply to my situation, as they are free to date and find other partners. Another reason is that I am bisexual - so the fact that my two long-term cohabitating partners are male is rather coincidental - by luck and accident rather than design.
Feel free to read, write, question and answer. Welcome to the Forum!
Al is right the MFM - Vee is one of the most common configurations that we see here (and there are endless debates as to why that may be).
The use of the term "polyandry" is interesting because we don't use it very often - mainly, I think, because there are "historical" associations and cultural implications that come with the word (like there is with "polygamy").
Like Kevin, my situation could certainly be construed as polyandry - I am female, I live with my two male partners (my husband of 23 years and my boyfriend of 8 years) and consider them co-primaries. They are not involved with each other romantically, although they are best friends, they are heterosexual.
For me the term polyandry doesn't fit well to my viewpoint - to me it implies exclusivity (while the woman has multiple partners, the males have the same wife and no others). While there are certainly poly folks who are "polyfidelitous" (like Kevin) - that doesn't apply to my situation, as they are free to date and find other partners. Another reason is that I am bisexual - so the fact that my two long-term cohabitating partners are male is rather coincidental - by luck and accident rather than design.
Feel free to read, write, question and answer. Welcome to the Forum!
ccnaqueens
New member
Are you ready now?