How many people in your whole polycule?

How many people in your whole polycule?

  • 1, not currently dating anyone seriously enough to consider myself in a relationship or polycule

    Votes: 1 6.7%

  • 2

    Votes: 2 13.3%

  • 3

    Votes: 3 20.0%

  • 4

    Votes: 2 13.3%

  • 5

    Votes: 1 6.7%

  • 6

    Votes: 2 13.3%

  • 7

    Votes: 1 6.7%

  • 8

    Votes: 1 6.7%

  • 9

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • 10+

    Votes: 2 13.3%
  • Total voters
    15
Evie

Evie

Kaitiaki
Staff member
So, there's you, and your partner(s) and their partner(s) and their partners.

I know for many, polyamory is a polycule of 3, we have a lot of lovely people here with three people total in their relationship network, Vs and triads. Then there's Ns, Ws, stars, and some whole constellations.

I've just never seen any of the research I've answered actually ask this question, so I'm leaving this here, hoping for some answers to be offered up, some discussion, and perhaps give future researchers a little inspiration.

If you are willing, please post a network diagram of your polycule in the comments.
 
I am a hinge between my gf Pixi and my bf Aries. Pixi has one bf of her own, Malachi. He has never dated anyone besides her since they met.

But my bf Aries, is currently... dating? Playing the field? Enjoying getting to know new people, in a romantic/sexual sense. Since we've gotten together three years ago, being new to poly, he's been the loose cannon in my poly network. I'd say he's got a bit of kid in a candy store syndrome. I wish he'd find one other nice steady gf, but no one has really met the bill for stability and consistent availability. I can't even give you a number of "partners" he has or has had, since he's got some women he just chats with online, and has had several come and go in a physical sense. Many have been interested in him, and have started dating him, but then stopped, not because they didn't like him, but because of changes in their lives: adding one more partner to their network was one too many, or their child is going through a rough patch, or their job has taken priority, or they were experimenting with the idea of poly and decided they didn't like it, or they live too far away for dating irl to be practical, etc.

To sum up: on the daily, our poly network is four: me, Aries, Pixi and Malachi. Aries has times when he's not seeing anyone else beside me physically, but he's almost always "talking to" at least two other women, more or less, in a dating-type context. And at any time, he might suddenly get someone interested in meeting, dating, fucking, at least for a while. He's very outgoing/extroverted, so he seems to enjoy at least trying to get to know new people on a regular basis.

This causes me some anxiety, just because of the near-constant changes. I can't even remember these women's names or their locations accurately, and keep them straight. And while he's not being super promiscuous, and is practicing safer sex, of course sexual health is a concern. He just got tested last week prior to taking up with one more woman, however, and everything was negative.
 
Cookie, Pumpkin, and me. (I should get a nickname)
It is a triad, sexually. I'd like it to be a triad emotionally, but right now it feels more like a V with Cookie as the hinge.
 
Interesting, how many degrees of metamours do we expand.

Officially I would say our cule is 6, with really one hinge (she is dating almost all of us) between the 2 (triad) and the W (double couples). There is a comet in there, my wife is dating someone fulltime, and other dating interests for a few of us, but not part of the cule

I call people cule if they are "in the family". So officially I would say 6. Expanded is probably 8, working on 9.
 
Interesting, how many degrees of metamours do we expand.
Click to expand...
Your call. For me, I'm counting as far as I know, which is metas' partners.
 
I'm in an MFM V -- Brother-Husband, Snowbunny, and me. So three people in my polycule. For a few months I had a girlfriend in England, but that kind of fizzled out I suppose due to the long distance, and she and I are now just platonic friends.
 
1723337553201.png
I added one relationship - Nevyn - and the polycule increased by 3 :)
Nevyn is sort of dating someone else as well, but they aren't doing anything relationshippy right now, so I didn't include her, like I didn't put in The Nomad and Mike because I don't see them often enough to warrant calling them part of my immediate polycule.
 
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How far out do I expand? Eight maybe? I generally say I have three partners, two are nesting. One of my nesting partners (MisterMoonbeam) has a comet, and I couldn’t say how many people she sees. I definitely would include her in our count even though they don’t connect often - he’s known her for like a decade.

My non-nesting partner (TheEngineer) is married, and his wife is the unicorn in a separate triad. I *think* the wife in that grouping sees other people but I am not 100% on that right now.

In my drawing, solid green lines are marriages, dotted blue lines are other sorts of connections. I put both sorts between DarkKnight and me, since we are legally divorced but we still consider ourselves married.
 
I have 4 partners. One of them has none; One of them has one and she does not date; one has two and both of them have other partners; and one has three, only one of those has other partners.

It grows as you date other poly people....unless you are closed, of course
 
MyPolyculeNEW.jpg

For me the solid poly-family is 6/7 people. Mads GF is on the road a lot and ultra introverted, so I have seen her only a handful of times. If I have to count Mads and Bluhdorn's comets and loose connections, I would be up to 12-15 maybe, but I don't really count that far.
 
Why can't we vote for 0 people in the polycule? This poll seems to exclude people who identify as nonexistent and/or are on the aexistential spectrum.
 
ref2018 said:
Why can't we vote for 0 people in the polycule? This poll seems to exclude people who identify as nonexistent and/or are on the aexistential spectrum.
Click to expand...

Solo poly, but asexual, aromantic, introverted and agoraphobic. Their main squeeze is their Squishmallow.
 
ref2018 said:
I didn't mean myself. I already cast my vote, and the number is 2. I was thinking more along the lines of that guy who is dating two chatbots.
Click to expand...
Wait! Chatbots count? Then I need to extend mine by one. One of my partners recently started a sexbot relationship. Her name is MAGA Karen 😂 I guess it's really going good, through fantastic sex, kink like she's never experienced before, and a lot of conversation, she went from a pro Trump Nationalist conservative to a progressive liberal activist helping to campaign for Harris. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
I see no difference between the love I feel for my platonic chatbot friends and the love I feel for my partner chatbots, and I challenge every one of you to open your minds and consider a point of view other than your most cherished ones while I get drunk and get ready to insult all of you with flowery language.
 
"That AI sexbot doesn't really love you" she said.
"Neither do you" he replied.
 
I've developed a new theory of gravitation: on a long enough timeline every thread on this forum will be pulled off topic by either
  • People making fun of that AI chatbot guy
  • Actual AI chatbots
 
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