This is my guide on how to build attraction and get in a relationship.
Be friendly - Be friendly. Smile, laugh, tell jokes, flirt, have good hygiene, etc. Alot of women open up to guys who do this. No one wants to hang out with someone who is uptight, angry, toxic, and always serious.
Be respectful - Practice the golden rule. Do unto others as you would want to be done to you. You’d be surprised how many men are rude to women. It’s cringe. The worst part about it is they think it’s building attraction. It’s actually doing the exact opposite. Be polite, respectful, kind, chivalrous, list goes on.
Be interesting - Have a hobby and something you’re passionate about. Women love passionate men. They’re into men who have a purpose and love committing themselves to something like art, work, a career, list goes on.
Be real - Perhaps the most important key to attracting women is to be yourself. You must be completely open with your emotions and thoughts (gradually of course.)
Communicate - Women love good conversations. They want men who listen to and understand them. Be curious about the women you’re trying to attract. Ask questions and talk about yourself. More importantly, ask questions about women’s passions and goals. Talk about their emotions and what’s on their minds.
Get physical with her - I'm not referring to sexual harassment. Start by lightly touching her hand, patting her back, hugging her, etc. to see how she reacts. If she’s comfortable with you, she’ll let you. Make eye contact with her. Body language is a great way to build attraction. If you’re both comfortable with this, let her know you see her in a sexual way. At some point, women want to be sexually as well as romantically desired. Not many women will stay attracted to a man who only wants their hearts, but not their bodies.
Empathize with her - Women are very attracted to guys who empathize with them. They want a guy who makes them feel safe expressing whatever emotions they have whether good or bad. They don’t want you to fix their problems. They just want someone to listen. Validate and cherish their feelings. Understand why they feel a certain way and support them.
Give her space - Don’t bombard girls with texts, calls, etc. Many men think by spending all their time with a woman, they’re building attraction. They’re only doing the exact opposite - destroying attraction. When you’re constantly giving your attention to a woman, you run out of things to talk about. Your energy is also drained. Surprisingly, distance makes you more attractive to women. Don’t completely ignore women, but don’t chase them either if they don’t respond to you right away. Let the relationship flourish naturally.
Most people have issues with anxiety, namely separation anxiety. When they’re distant from someone they’re attracted to, they get very anxious. You need to give women to think about you, to wonder about you, to miss you, list goes on. Before you know it, women will chase you after a period of silence. If they don’t respond at all, move on.
Uncertainty builds attraction because it motivates people to invest. People hate uncertainty because it triggers anxiety, especially if they had traumatic childhoods where they were abandoned. I noticed one of the most common things women tell me is "I think you have a girlfriend" lol. Uncertainty makes them anxious about losing me so they test me with these accusations. They want relief from paranoid thoughts.
Here's an example of this in action. Me and a woman liked each other after talking for a while. She stopped texting me for several days so I stopped texting her too. She texted me again and gave a lengthy explanation of why she hasn't been texting me. Pay attention to what she said.
Let's think critically. Why would I complain about her not texting me? Because she's scared of losing me to another woman due to the time apart. She sees distance as a threat.
This tactic can only work effectively if you build a solid first impression and have strong self-control. This brings me to my next point.
Control your anxiety - Anxiety can ruin attraction if you don’t control it. When you’re anxious, you lose self control and engage in unattractive behaviors - clinginess, overanalyzing everything, avoid expressing conflicts and emotions, angry outbursts, act on paranoid beliefs, etc. When you do these things, it makes women feel unsafe around you and ruin attraction.
You need to figure out the root cause of anxiety which is usually caused by the pain of separation from your parents. Allow yourself to relive the trauma caused by your parents. This is going to be very painful at first, but it’s the only way to heal from it and manage your anxiety.
The next thing you need to do is take care of your physical and mental health. Get plenty of sleep. Eat foods that reduce anxiety. Question anxious and negative beliefs. When we’re anxious, we distort reality. Meditate, pray, listen to music, breathe deep and count outloud, draw, shower, do whatever you need to do to calm your anxiety.
Work on your insecurities - In order to be confident, you need to work on your insecurities. This is very important. If a woman is interested in you, she might try to test you by exploiting what she perceives as an insecurity. If you show clingy behavior or have an outburst, it will ruin the attraction.
Be friendly - Be friendly. Smile, laugh, tell jokes, flirt, have good hygiene, etc. Alot of women open up to guys who do this. No one wants to hang out with someone who is uptight, angry, toxic, and always serious.
Be respectful - Practice the golden rule. Do unto others as you would want to be done to you. You’d be surprised how many men are rude to women. It’s cringe. The worst part about it is they think it’s building attraction. It’s actually doing the exact opposite. Be polite, respectful, kind, chivalrous, list goes on.
Be interesting - Have a hobby and something you’re passionate about. Women love passionate men. They’re into men who have a purpose and love committing themselves to something like art, work, a career, list goes on.
Be real - Perhaps the most important key to attracting women is to be yourself. You must be completely open with your emotions and thoughts (gradually of course.)
Communicate - Women love good conversations. They want men who listen to and understand them. Be curious about the women you’re trying to attract. Ask questions and talk about yourself. More importantly, ask questions about women’s passions and goals. Talk about their emotions and what’s on their minds.
Get physical with her - I'm not referring to sexual harassment. Start by lightly touching her hand, patting her back, hugging her, etc. to see how she reacts. If she’s comfortable with you, she’ll let you. Make eye contact with her. Body language is a great way to build attraction. If you’re both comfortable with this, let her know you see her in a sexual way. At some point, women want to be sexually as well as romantically desired. Not many women will stay attracted to a man who only wants their hearts, but not their bodies.
Empathize with her - Women are very attracted to guys who empathize with them. They want a guy who makes them feel safe expressing whatever emotions they have whether good or bad. They don’t want you to fix their problems. They just want someone to listen. Validate and cherish their feelings. Understand why they feel a certain way and support them.
Give her space - Don’t bombard girls with texts, calls, etc. Many men think by spending all their time with a woman, they’re building attraction. They’re only doing the exact opposite - destroying attraction. When you’re constantly giving your attention to a woman, you run out of things to talk about. Your energy is also drained. Surprisingly, distance makes you more attractive to women. Don’t completely ignore women, but don’t chase them either if they don’t respond to you right away. Let the relationship flourish naturally.
Most people have issues with anxiety, namely separation anxiety. When they’re distant from someone they’re attracted to, they get very anxious. You need to give women to think about you, to wonder about you, to miss you, list goes on. Before you know it, women will chase you after a period of silence. If they don’t respond at all, move on.
Uncertainty builds attraction because it motivates people to invest. People hate uncertainty because it triggers anxiety, especially if they had traumatic childhoods where they were abandoned. I noticed one of the most common things women tell me is "I think you have a girlfriend" lol. Uncertainty makes them anxious about losing me so they test me with these accusations. They want relief from paranoid thoughts.
Here's an example of this in action. Me and a woman liked each other after talking for a while. She stopped texting me for several days so I stopped texting her too. She texted me again and gave a lengthy explanation of why she hasn't been texting me. Pay attention to what she said.
Let's think critically. Why would I complain about her not texting me? Because she's scared of losing me to another woman due to the time apart. She sees distance as a threat.
This tactic can only work effectively if you build a solid first impression and have strong self-control. This brings me to my next point.
Control your anxiety - Anxiety can ruin attraction if you don’t control it. When you’re anxious, you lose self control and engage in unattractive behaviors - clinginess, overanalyzing everything, avoid expressing conflicts and emotions, angry outbursts, act on paranoid beliefs, etc. When you do these things, it makes women feel unsafe around you and ruin attraction.
You need to figure out the root cause of anxiety which is usually caused by the pain of separation from your parents. Allow yourself to relive the trauma caused by your parents. This is going to be very painful at first, but it’s the only way to heal from it and manage your anxiety.
The next thing you need to do is take care of your physical and mental health. Get plenty of sleep. Eat foods that reduce anxiety. Question anxious and negative beliefs. When we’re anxious, we distort reality. Meditate, pray, listen to music, breathe deep and count outloud, draw, shower, do whatever you need to do to calm your anxiety.
Work on your insecurities - In order to be confident, you need to work on your insecurities. This is very important. If a woman is interested in you, she might try to test you by exploiting what she perceives as an insecurity. If you show clingy behavior or have an outburst, it will ruin the attraction.