Bluebird
Well-known member
A lot of this can be found in my online journal, in the blog section of this site, but I thought a searchable thread on the topic of commitment ceremonies would be useful. Wading through all the drama (and the mundane stuff) that brought me to this wonderful day isn't for everyone - so having a condensed version here might be of help to some.
YES! I have two husbands. This post is to show off all the love and preparation that went into creating a second wedding for me, and a first for my boyfriend, PunkRockAwesomesauce. Hopefully this can help you plan your own commitment ceremony!
Since my family of origin was not too keen on the idea of my poly self, the easiest thing for us was to decide to elope. After that choice, the first thing we then had to narrow down was a location - my fiance wanted to tie the knot somewhere near water, as he spent a good deal of his adult life working with aquatic animals and it felt right to have it in that sort of setting. We used the website http://www.homeaway.com to search for locations. We chose to rent a bungalow on a private lake, in the Virginia mountains, as a place to hold the ceremony and to honeymoon at as well.
Next we had to find someone to marry us. Since legally marrying PunkRock would make me a bigamist, we had to locate someone that would be willing to perform a non-traditional ceremony and not require paperwork. I did several google searches and sent out about 5 messages to different contacts, and finally found one that was a good fit for us. Our officiant was awesome - she had performed many, many handfastings and was quite comfortable with me being polyamorous. I recommend being completely open and up-front with your initial emails - there's no point in wasting time with someone that is going to freak out about things later.
We decided to exchange rings as well as have a handfasting. PunkRock and I went to a glassblowing class as a date prior to our wedding, and he created a ringstand in our wedding colors, and I think it turned out beautifully. His ring was actually what we built our color scheme around - it is tungsten carbide with an abalone shell insert (again coming back to an aquatic thought) and I loved the different purples and blues it had. My ring is white gold, and it matches the white gold band and engagement ring I had from my marriage to my already-then husband, DarkKnight. The three just slid together perfectly, and didn't look too overwhelming all together.
I made all of our flowers - my bouquet and the boutonniere - and my birdcage veil/fascinator and jewelry.
I also created all of our handfasting cords. These are cost-prohibitive online - individual etsy cords started at around $30, and for a ceremony, 6 six-foot cords are needed. So, I decided to try to make my own. The officiant told me they were the fanciest she had seen, and wanted to send business my way! Apparently a lot of people end up just using plain ribbon, and she said she had been cut numerous times on those. So, taking a few hours to put meaning into your cords is helpful.
TBC...
YES! I have two husbands. This post is to show off all the love and preparation that went into creating a second wedding for me, and a first for my boyfriend, PunkRockAwesomesauce. Hopefully this can help you plan your own commitment ceremony!
Since my family of origin was not too keen on the idea of my poly self, the easiest thing for us was to decide to elope. After that choice, the first thing we then had to narrow down was a location - my fiance wanted to tie the knot somewhere near water, as he spent a good deal of his adult life working with aquatic animals and it felt right to have it in that sort of setting. We used the website http://www.homeaway.com to search for locations. We chose to rent a bungalow on a private lake, in the Virginia mountains, as a place to hold the ceremony and to honeymoon at as well.
Next we had to find someone to marry us. Since legally marrying PunkRock would make me a bigamist, we had to locate someone that would be willing to perform a non-traditional ceremony and not require paperwork. I did several google searches and sent out about 5 messages to different contacts, and finally found one that was a good fit for us. Our officiant was awesome - she had performed many, many handfastings and was quite comfortable with me being polyamorous. I recommend being completely open and up-front with your initial emails - there's no point in wasting time with someone that is going to freak out about things later.
We decided to exchange rings as well as have a handfasting. PunkRock and I went to a glassblowing class as a date prior to our wedding, and he created a ringstand in our wedding colors, and I think it turned out beautifully. His ring was actually what we built our color scheme around - it is tungsten carbide with an abalone shell insert (again coming back to an aquatic thought) and I loved the different purples and blues it had. My ring is white gold, and it matches the white gold band and engagement ring I had from my marriage to my already-then husband, DarkKnight. The three just slid together perfectly, and didn't look too overwhelming all together.
I made all of our flowers - my bouquet and the boutonniere - and my birdcage veil/fascinator and jewelry.
I also created all of our handfasting cords. These are cost-prohibitive online - individual etsy cords started at around $30, and for a ceremony, 6 six-foot cords are needed. So, I decided to try to make my own. The officiant told me they were the fanciest she had seen, and wanted to send business my way! Apparently a lot of people end up just using plain ribbon, and she said she had been cut numerous times on those. So, taking a few hours to put meaning into your cords is helpful.
TBC...
Thank you for sharing.
