Him making unilateral decisions is not being considerate or nice. You should have a voice in the things that affect you. You have been denied a voice here. Him doing whatever and expecting you to just lump it? That's not nice.
And another child, even if you have nothing against the child, will affect you and your household.
His time, money, and energy will be going elsewhere. You might not be thrilled with that because you did not sign up for this when you signed up to be married. You signed up for one kind of deal, and you are not getting that. You are getting something else you did not ask for. It was foisted upon you.
And depending on how your vows were? He's broken those too. Not just broken the agreements about other sex play partners. You may have been up for sex play partners, but it doesn't sound like you were up for THIS.
Again, I'm sorry you deal in this.
I hope airing out here helps some. I hope you can do the soul searching you need to do and arrive at how you want to handle this.
What conditions have to be met so you become willing to risk trusting again.
Or knowing that it is ok to stop participating here if you don't want to risk it. It is possible to walk away with regrets, but walk away all the same so you cannot be dinged again.
Galagirl