Eponine
Active member
My husband G (42M) started a cross-continental LDR with my long-time close friend N (45F) in 2019. They had great sexual chemistry and a lot of common interests. They met a couple of times in 2019 when N visited us, but then the pandemic hit. It was hard for them but they managed. In September 2021, G and I went to N's country and spent 3 weeks with her after two years without meeting, which was amazing. Then N came to visit us in February this year. It was going to be 3 weeks, but she extended it by another week because she got sick. Recently G told N that he wanted to visit her alone, but N wasn't too enthusiastic. After G's pressing, she told G that she gradually lost romantic feelings for him after her visit, and she's basically breaking up with him. G is devastated, and I'm very sad for him too. The hardest part is he doesn't know what went wrong. Even N can't really explain it; she just said maybe she stayed too long with us, and something felt off about their dynamic. This makes zero sense to me - how come 3 weeks wasn't too long but 4 weeks was?
For more context, N is also married, and they were both each other's first poly partner. However, N started another local relationship shortly before her February visit. At first I thought maybe she didn't have enough energy for G anymore because of the new relationship, but she said it wasn't the main issue. She just somehow lost interest in him, can't explain why, and doesn't seem interested in trying to fix it. It fucking sucks.
I suggested G post about it, but he said it would be too hard to write it down, so I'm posting it for both of us. This is venting for a large part, since I don't expect anyone to know what went wrong. But if anyone has similar experience, insight, or advice about how to support a partner after a breakup (especially about finding closure), I'll really appreciate it. Thanks for reading!
For more context, N is also married, and they were both each other's first poly partner. However, N started another local relationship shortly before her February visit. At first I thought maybe she didn't have enough energy for G anymore because of the new relationship, but she said it wasn't the main issue. She just somehow lost interest in him, can't explain why, and doesn't seem interested in trying to fix it. It fucking sucks.
I suggested G post about it, but he said it would be too hard to write it down, so I'm posting it for both of us. This is venting for a large part, since I don't expect anyone to know what went wrong. But if anyone has similar experience, insight, or advice about how to support a partner after a breakup (especially about finding closure), I'll really appreciate it. Thanks for reading!
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