Imagine your ideal relationships.

My ideal relationship? Long distance, no exclusivity, no long-term commitment, no sex between us (my partner having sex with others is fine and dandy, though, if she wants to). Based on honesty, independence, and mutual respect... A form of "(best) friends with fuzzily defined benefits", basically... and awesomely, that's exactly the 'ship I've been in for the last almost-five years and running. :)
 
I love daydreamy what-if questions.

My ideal would be relationships where I could ask a question and get an answer (even if the answer is "Can I think about this one for a little while?"); where I wouldn't feel I'm always instigating the conversations; where I could be as honest about my affection as I am with my thoughts; and then, at the end of the night, be in a cuddle pile. ♡

Note: I originally started the paragraph saying "a relationship..." Then I realized not only can "A" relationship be like this, but that I can have MORE than one and they could ALL be like this! *geeked*
 
My ideal poly situation: my husband and me either sharing a home with the rest of the poly family, or being just a house or two away. A plot with a main house and mother-in-law house would be the best, since we'd be in the same place, and my husband could still know there is space just his or ours.

I would hope for two children. I'd prefer one with each of my men. I know my poly sister wants two as well. The plan would be to homeschool them.

I would be a housewife, my poly sister would work from home as a counselor (her work dream), and the three men who like working would.

Now, if Elle and NT's relationship leads to marriage, another house, two more kids to school, and a fourth out-of-the-house worker would be added.

What is nice is that this long-term and highly committed (including commitment ceremonies/poly weddings for the non-legal couples) dream of the future is shared by the poly family.
 
NeonKaos said:
I don't have an "ideal" relationship. I'm pretty satisfied with the husband I have right now. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. It is nice to know that if one of us ever wants to see someone else, it wouldn't mean our marriage was over.
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I don't know what my nirvana would be. I haven't found it yet. I love my wife, but there is no sexual chemistry. I don't believe any one person would ever be everything. It is nice to know that if I have an interest in another woman, even sexually, it wouldn't end our marriage. That is my priority.

Our friend Trixie was over visiting us, with her daughter. Our daughters are best friends. Trixie is the one who witnessed our open marriage contract. There was a moment of perfection. With Trixie there, her 2 children, my wife, all 3 of us keeping the kids entertained, and just talking, we seemed to be good together. I made a comment about it, as well. They didn't admit to it, but it felt interesting. Trixie is reading the book Sex Before Dawn. She would be a good poly partner.

Perfect? Don't know. It may be worth exploring.
 
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My ideal has shifted. I used to want a big, happy poly family, all under one roof, or on one property with multiple homes.

Now I question my ability to share a home with another woman. It's not completely out of the question, but I just don't know how I would handle it, since I'm fairly set in my ways and enjoy having my own domain.

I guess my ideal at this point would still be everyone I care about (and the people my people care about) living in close proximity, either shared property or within walking distance, of one another. I'd love to share a home with Hubby and another partner of mine. I know Hubby is comfortable with this idea for the future.

I think Hubby wants kids, but I don't really want to have any of my own at this time. So, my ideal would include him having a second home with a partner who wants children as well. In theory, with the right person, I could share a home so he wouldn't have to split his time at all and the kids could have both/all (if I'm involved in a parental role) parents more accessible most times. I wouldn't mind coparenting, I just don't want to pass on my shitty genes. I also wouldn't be opposed to adoption, but I don't know that I will ever prioritize having kids enough to make that happen.

Being able to have the extended family network together for holidays, birthdays, occasional game nights, etc. is important to me in the long run.
 
I dunno, more then one, at least one of each gender. The more the merrier, I think. But I gotta get one before I get more. lol
 
I think my ideal would be a closed V, with me as the hinge, or a closed triad, all living together. We are VERY new to this, though, and currently poly/mono. (Technically, not yet, but will be when I find someone.) So, I am not sure when or if we would get to this ideal, but it seems like what life "should" be like, to me.
 
The past...

My husband and I had a serious girlfriend once. The relationship was great, but I did not know it until it was too late. I want that again. That connection, the trio of love that others frown upon. I don't care, I just miss it. I love my husband, and have enough love for a woman, as well. And I actually love seeing my husband with another woman, not just sexually. There is something intimate and deep about it.
 
For me, an ideal relationship is not a certain number, combination, set, or type of people, genders, orientations, rules, structures, or connections. Instead, it's defined by how the people involved treat each other. It's above all an emotional environment where everyone feels safe. It's communication without competition, listening without retort, honesty without ruthlessness. It's warmth, support, and laughter. Indeed it's many of the things that I often fail to provide myself. An ideal relationship is something I'll always strive for, though like the speed of light I'll only approach it; not in a million years will I ever arrive.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." And have standards for the compassionate treatment that you, too, should receive. These are the keys I concentrate on when I try to help build a loving poly household with my two human (and our other two) companions.
 
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Idealism... Is it idealistic?

What is your ideal relationship? That's a loaded question. I would like to have my husband and him have his wife. I would like to be in a close relationship with her and trust/communication/respect between all of us. I would like to see us all living under the same roof. I am also not sure how closed I would like this to be. If she or I also met someone we had feelings for, who could meld with us, I would like that be an option on the table. The decisions would be made by all parties, because it would affect all involved, whether it be time or emotions.

That's basically how I feel. I'm sure it could be attainable with the right people. I have lots of love inside myself, and want to share it. :)
 
We lived our ideal relationship and life. My wife invited her gf into our bed in the 5th year of our now 45-year marriage. We bought a 4-bedroom house. We each had our own room and used the spare room as a office with three desks and computers. Our girlfriend did not live with us full time because she had a kid and we had none. I would say that she spent about a third of her time at our house, plus all of the holidays and special occasions. We considered her a wife.

She got married about halfway through our relationship to a cuckold she found on the internet whose ex-wife had left him for her lover. He was more than happy with the arrangement because his wife/our gf was with a stable couple; I am sterile; and there was no chance of her running off with one of us. She was wife number two in our home and number one in her own, the best of both worlds for her and us.

Maybe this sounds like the story line for a porn movie, but it was our life, and a great life it was. Since we did not have kids, I had a lot of disposable income, we belonged to private clubs and took 8 weeks vacation a year. I only work 3-4 days a week as I am a partner in my business. Strangely enough, we never had a single problem due to our relationship. No one asked why my wife's best friend always seemed to be at our house, and we never volunteered to tell anyone about our sex life. It was none of their business.

However, when we vacationed or went out on the town, it was as a threesome, and the two ladies made sure that everyone knew. :) We had a lot of fun shocking straight people in the '70s and '80s.
 
Keeping in mind that I'm a polynewbie and just broken up, forgive the "dating ad"...

I guess my ideal relationships at this point in time would involve enjoying a peaceful period with one or two serious partners within a highly fidelitous setting. I'd appreciate mentally mature individuals (beyond their wild oats days). Any age would be fine, as long as they think before they act, and have good communication skills. Personality-wise, heck... I don't have a laundry list. Adventure and excitement are just as fine as quiet for me, but I'm beyond exhausted with drama. I love nerds and geeks, but can do without the "unwashed antisocial" stereotypes.

I'd like to be friends, if possible, with their partners. I'm not looking for any type of triad. I'm not sure how I'd manage 3 partners, to be honest. But if everyone were willing to give it a shot, then I guess I'd be open to finding out.

I'm looking for just enough good will within the group to have some kind of harmony, to be able to talk things out, when necessary.

I don't require any particular living arrangement... just whatever feels good.

My only big caveat-- I wouldn't be bothered by existing children. However, there's no way I'd have anyone's child, except through adoption. Ideally we'd be child-free, or the family members would have older kids already. I don't do well with babies and toddlers, and prefer to not be around them.

TL;DR: am looking for something that feels really good. That's it.
 
I don't think I have an ideal relationship. I have certain needs when in a romantic relationship, but a structure or number of partners isn't something I think about much.
 
Egalitarian vee

My ideal would be an egalitarian vee where I date a male and a female partner, with me as the center. I had something to this effect for about a year. The female partner was married and I had a boyfriend, but it was definitely close to said ideal. This was several years ago. Not sure if I could find a girl who would respect me and my current partner's relationship and be committed to me. There is also the issue of finding someone who would get on well with my current partner as a respected friend.
 
I'm here to discover...

... my ideal relationship. I'm doing the mental work to try and figure it out. Joining this forum is an added step that I hope will prove to be helpful. I'm married to a man. I know I want a committed relationship with a woman, as well. I'm not sure exactly how I'd want that to look.
 
The ideal relationship is the one I am in now; dating two men who are friends and get along and care for each other. I like our family! We are not perfect, but we try our best. We have lived 2 years long distance with my boyfriend. In some periods we've lived together, all of us.

The only things I'd wish for to improve things would be for my boyfriend to move in with us, or close to us, and for all of us to have kids. I would like 1-3 kids, and have to start soon if that should ever happen. We are working on getting my boyfriend a work visa so he can work and live in my country.
 
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