Imagine your ideal relationships.

TL4everu2

New member
Ok...I think I'm IN my ideal relationship. :/ I can't find anyone else who does what my wife does, and will still put up with me...she does EVERYTHING! :p LOL
 

River

Active member
Better than any ideal relationships, I have actual relationships. These must be perfect, because they are real, actual.

Each of the people involved are wonderful, very wonderful. We all have healing and growth paths we're on because while we are perfect in every way, our perfection includes opportunties for growth and development. ;)

There are no ideal relationships, only really good attitudes toward life and relationship and really poor ones, and those in between.
 

spaz6979

New member
Hmm... Well, I have put a lot of thought into this, and my ideal relationship, and by association my ideal future, is something that is constantly evolving as I meet new people and discover new things about myself and the world around me. Ten or so years ago, I wanted to live in a town with a boyfriend and three dogs... Now it couldn't be much more different.

I'd quite like to live in the countryside for instance, now, but within twenty minutes drive of a town at least. I still want the dogs, and some cats. My career plan has a great influence on all of this because I want to be a writer, which means most of my time will be spent at home.

I wouldn't expect my partners to do the same, in fact I'd quite like partners who worked, and I'd love to cook them something special and light a few candles for when they get home. Although I'd have to ensure they all did a share of the housework, so maybe another one who only had a part time job would be nice.

I'd like two or three partners of each gender, it sounds greedy, but it's what I'm comfortable with.

Maybe I'm a little weird, but it's a dream life for me...

That sounds beautiful *sniff*. Mine is similar! All the wife and i truly want is a girl who loves and cares for us both equally... the perfect triad! A special girl that would join the team that we have become and wouldnt mind the occasional 4th girl in bed (its our experiance romantic relationship work best in a triad but its always fun to spice things up with another girl!) one that doesn't get jealous and loves to cuddle the both of us.

Countryside for us as well. I'ld get a job teaching preschool and I wouldn't care whether the ladies worked or not so long as I can come home to around the same time they do so I can spend the evenings with them... wouldnt that be just lovely? :)
 

rory

New member
Better than any ideal relationships, I have actual relationships. These must be perfect, because they are real, actual.
I agree with this. I am involved with great people, and I enjoy the relationships I have with them. Even though it can be fun to think about "ideals", I feel it puts too much focus on the relationship structure or way of living, which really only come long after the people involved, and what fits us in different situations.
 

Snowdancer

New member
Right now I think I'm just looking for more companionship. Someone who can be there when I need her and can do things with me. I have a wonderful girlfriend who lives a couple of hours away. We get together on weekends when we can but the 4 hour round trip is rough. Also, she has kids at home which complicates matters. That makes it difficult for me to get the up close and personal time I need. I need more.
 

opalescent

Active member
I want to live with Beloved again. We are working towards this but it will be awhile. Also, I want to see where my other relationships go. It's been so interesting so far!
 

SoCalExile

New member
Ever since I was old enough to start thinking about "adult" relationships, I fantasized about a fluid milieu where the lines between friends and lovers were so blurred as to be almost indistinguishable. Humanity as one huge, happy pool of affection, love, and sex, free of the tyrannies of possession and jealousy. Oh, to dive into those waters...

I never talked about this with anybody, fearing I'd be denounced for being foolishly naïve at best, and immorally sex-crazed at worst. I tried for decades to dismiss it as an adolescent pipe dream, wondering why I couldn't just finally "grow out" of it and be normal. Then one day I found out there was actually a name for it all. When I found out about polyamory it was almost a religious epiphany.

Granted, poly-as-practiced doesn't come anywhere close to that Utopian hallucination, but hey, a fella can dream, right?
 

nicothoe

New member
I don't have an ideal relationship, more of an ideal living situation.

Earlier this year, my girlfriend, her hetero-lifemate, her boyfriend, his wife, her boyfriend, and his wife, all moved into a three flat together. It was something they had dreamed of for years (except my GF, who did not get along with one of the wives). Within a week, the GF and hetero-lifemate moved back out.

While I would love to live closer to the girlfriend, I realize that living under the same roof isn't always as good as it's cracked up to be. Multiple individuals with multiple opinions and multiple habits often lead to multiple problems.

However, some sort of commune made up of separate houses but all on the same land....now that appeals to me. (Did I just seeing everyone nodding in agreement?) I imagine there being a large central house, where everyone could mingle, share resources, host parties....but when thing got too much, retire back to your own little cottage, your own private sanctuary.
 

River

Active member
However, some sort of commune made up of separate houses but all on the same land....now that appeals to me. (Did I just seeing everyone nodding in agreement?) I imagine there being a large central house, where everyone could mingle, share resources, host parties....but when thing got too much, retire back to your own little cottage, your own private sanctuary.

Sounds pretty good to me, except I could imagine myself and, say, two partners all sharing one of the cottages or small houses, with - perhaps - the option of another bedroom, when desired.

Of course, the whole thing would be fluid and dynamic regards numbers of persons involved. Growing, possibly, that is. Right now I have one partner and one geographically far-distant very close friend who is also a "love interest" / mutual romantic attraction friend. We're sort of dating long distance at the moment. She lives 1,200 miles away. - - - And I have my boyfriend of 15 years, who also has me. I can see a cat a dog and maybe a goldfish in the future, as well. ;) Says so right here in my crystal ball.
 

River

Active member
Those with an interest in "commune" living as well as other forms of communalism and "intentional community" (the broad and inclusive concept) will be interested in www.ic.org .
 

nycindie

Active member
However, some sort of commune made up of separate houses but all on the same land....now that appeals to me. (Did I just seeing everyone nodding in agreement?)
No way, not me!

I imagine there being a large central house, where everyone could mingle, share resources, host parties....but when thing got too much, retire back to your own little cottage, your own private sanctuary.
I like my solitary life, I think. If, however, I were ever to be attracted to a communal way of living, this makes the most sense. I once lived for two months in a very nice retreat center set up pretty much like this in New Zealand (I was there for a specific purpose and time frame). It did afford people a certain amount of privacy. I have read articles about communes like this, mostly in Scandinavian countries, I believe.
 

BlackUnicorn

New member
VanillaIce and I are looking for an apartment together that would be closer to where Moonlightrunner and Windflower live. So the logistic side of things is looking up :).

I found Indie's thread on prepping for poly to be immensely helpful in working out some of the insecurities I've been having recently. I've done a lot of mental image practice. Now I have the opposite problem; I'm absolutely enamoured with the idea of Vanilla getting another partner and am pushing her to do it NOW :D!

In my new ideal world, we would live close by to Windy and Moonlight so the kiddoes and adults alike could come and go. I've also decided I need a little brother in the disguise of Vanilla's new beau. Someone who would either live close by too or live with me and Vanilla at least part-time. It would be cool to have a live-in vee where we could collaborate on making Vanilla the happiest camper in the whole world. Also, maybe at some point babies would be cool, too.

In this fantasy la-la-land of mine my brother husband would like cooking, be a moderately experienced switch, not have a live-in partner as yet and love tv and especially sci-fi as much as Vanilla and I do. And of course they would need to be as bat-shit crazy about Vanilla as I am.

Hehee, I want a metamour crush :rolleyes:.
 

BlackUnicorn

New member
What about Flattie? Would she be moving with you?

:( I wish. No, the whole moving in with Vanilla after knowing each other for three months -thing got started when Flattie told me she had gotten the study placement down on the southcoast nobody knew she had even applied for :eek:! I was initially very sad until another friend admonished me with "Shouldn't you be happy that she is doing now so well with her medication and therapy that she is able to move to a whole new city and start a new life there?". Yeah, I was being self-centered and whiny :eek:.
 

Lucinda

New member
In my ideal relationship(s) there is mutual love, respect and kindness. There is much laughter and shared joy. There is a sense of safety and strength in having each other. Each person knows that the other will always be there for them. There is support and encouragement for each other's emotional and spiritual growth. There is compersion for each other's joy. There is goodwill towards each other and a cooperative spirit.

Each person trusts the other completely. In my ideal relationship, the thought of the love between me and my partner(s) brings a smile to my face no matter where I am.
 

Yosemite

New member
I find my dreams revolve around being in love with two men who care for each other as much as they care for me. I'm female. In those dreams, it just feels right. I'm a total newbie who's only ever had monogamous relationships, but I have a standing promise with myself to listen to what feels right, so here I am! That's the ideal.
-Yosie
 

River

Active member
Somewhere there are two partnered biamorous men who'd just love to meet you!

(My boyfriend isn't bi, so that wouldn't be us -- and besides I think my plate is full for now, so to speak.)

(Well, we'd love to meet you, anyway, of course.)
 

River

Active member
I find my dreams revolve around being in love with two men who care for each other as much as they care for me.

I had taken it as implicit that these two men would also be in love with one another, and sexually loving mates to one another. But I realized later that I may have read too much into those words. (?)
 

Yosemite

New member
That is indeed what I meant; in fact, it is the integral part of it for me. I supposed that would be called a 'polyfi triad', based on my recent googling!
 
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