Introducing Myself

[YesThisIsDog242]

Hello! I wanted to introduce myself, since I've been pretty active on here the past few days.

I'm a 26 year old gay man living in the US Midwest. I consider myself a pretty progressive fella, and have getting a lot of enjoyment and benefit out of reading other's stories on here.

Not currently in any romantic relationships, though I'm hoping that changes when I move to a bigger city in July. My recent 4 year relationship unfortunately ended on some pretty terrible terms, though my ex masking his cheating as polyamory actually is what got me interested in polyamory. Some of y'all's posts helped me better understand what an actual loving, ethical polyamorous relationship looks like. It was a very helpful guide for navigating the mess that he created before we split up. I thank you all for that

I'm a little surprised that I haven't seen any other self-identified gay men on here (There have been a few generally queer folks, though. I see you ) , just from a rep standpoint. I'd say ENM in general is more accepted among gay men, but maybe this just isn't the go-to site for it. I've personally appreciated it, nonetheless!

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings YesThisIsDog242,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You have written many great posts here so far, and I look forward to more of those in the future. We do have other gay men in our membership here, I just can't remember their handles, and they're probably not active here at this time. Regardless, you make a valuable contribution to Polyamory.com, and I thank you for that. Carry on!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

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If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[Magdlyn]

Welcome.

I'm not a gay man, but I ID as non-binary, and pansexual.

We get gay people here from time to time, men or women, but often they seem to have one specific question, get feedback, and then drift away. They don't become regulars. There are a few that have posted longer-running blogs, but they don't hang around the Poly Relationships forum, usually.

I know gay men have a long history of having relationships that are open to casual sex. There will be one couple in love, who might fuck others together or independently. I guess now and then one of them falls in love with an outside sex partner, and they attempt what we now call polyamory. Then they'd have similar issues to polyamorists of any gender, I reckon.

 

[YesThisIsDog242]

Welcome.

I'm not a gay man, but I ID as non-binary, and pansexual.

We get gay people here from time to time, men or women, but often they seem to have one specific question, get feedback, and then drift away. They don't become regulars. There are a few that have posted longer-running blogs, but they don't hang around the Poly Relationships forum, usually.

I know gay men have a long history of having relationships that are open to casual sex. There will be one couple in love, who might fuck others together or independently. I guess now and then one of them falls in love with an outside sex partner, and they attempt what we now call polyamory. Then they'd have similar issues to polyamorists of any gender, I reckon.

Open relationships are definitely a very common thing I've seen, and engaged in. Thinking about it now, I'd actually love to get to know a little more about the guys in my area who've experienced being in poly relationships. There's a few poly peeps, and all of them are prominent members in the leather community. Is that pretty coincidental, or do the two communities tend to be more often interlinked?

Yeah, I could see the forum not being every queer person's cup of tea. There's definitely a lot more discussion that centers heterosexual couples, and the heteronormative assumptions that can come with that. A part of me feels lucky that single-gendered relationships make it much harder to adhere to those entrenched roles, but I've seen some queer peeps try their darndest anyway to implement them.

I definitely appreciate the critical eye you tend to apply to posts, especially regarding gender norms. You seem like a very cool person

 

[Magdlyn]

Open relationships are definitely a very common thing I've seen, and engaged in. Thinking about it now, I'd actually love to get to know a little more about the guys in my area who've experienced being in poly relationships. There's a few poly peeps, and all of them are prominent members in the leather community. Is that pretty coincidental, or do the two communities tend to be more often interlinked?

Well, I wouldn't know from personal experience! I don't have any close gay male friends in the leather community. From what I've seen though, leather dudes can be really loving and sweet, so maybe they draw in guys who are more open to actually loving their regular sex partners.

I do go through phases where I catch up with the cool, smart, sexy, charming, funny guys who run the "Watt's the Safeword?" YouTube channel. They speak on all kinds of alternative relationship topics (as well as kink). I just checked, and it seems Amp and Mr Kristopher have added a third host, Samson, to the lineup. I am going to investigate, but it's looking like he is a partner to at least one of them. Aww!

(This is a highly valuable channel, as the hosts are sex educators as well as porn actors. They speak truth. Amp and his "Daddy" also have a large age gap, which adds interest to their advice.)

Yeah, I could see the forum not being every queer person's cup of tea. There's definitely a lot more discussion that centers heterosexual couples, and the heteronormative assumptions that can come with that. A part of me feels lucky that single-gendered relationships make it much harder to adhere to those entrenched roles, but I've seen some queer peeps try their darndest anyway to implement them.

I definitely appreciate the critical eye you tend to apply to posts, especially regarding gender norms. You seem like a very cool person

Oh, thank you very much!

I guess this board reflects society, numbers-wise. Since queers are in the minority in general, they are amongst polyamorous folks, as well. This, despite all the couples coming here, newbies, where the man is straight and the woman is "bisexual," or "bi-curious," and they are seeking a woman to share. (This drives me crazy, but I can't judge to hard, since I was once in one of those couples, back in 1999. I had a steep and swift learning curve on that mistake [not to mention I no longer ID as fully a woman, and as pansexual, not bisexual].)