Items that Don't Exist for Poly People

PolyLife

New member
Hello Everyone!

I am looking for your input for a personal project that would be for people who practice polyamory and ENM. What do you wish existed that seems to only be for monogamous people? For example, get-well cards for your metamour or forms at doctor's offices that allow you to fill in multiple significant others. Perhaps there is something you found would have been great to have once, but you're used to things not considering a poly lifestyle and simply used something else? What is that last thing you tried to do, but you couldn't express yourself exactly like you wanted to?
 

Evie

Well-known member
Not my jam, but triads might like three piece heart necklaces instead of the traditional two.
 

AlwaysGrowing

Active member
Not my jam, but triads might like three piece heart necklaces instead of the traditional two.
Yeah! Like you can get the best friends necklaces that include just 2 but they also make best friends forever for 3 pieces. So a romantic relationship equivalent.

Doctors office forms usually just ask for emergency contact then you fill in the relationship. I have Hubby listed as spouse and Boy as partner.

"Romantic" date stuff - everything is for couples. Couples massage. Dinner for 2. Etc. Even the theater with comfy seats near me separates them into pairs! Being able to do a group date or even go out with 2 partners who aren't involved with each other is nice but hard to manage if you want to take advantage of those kinds of offerings.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
I've felt odd in cars where 2 parts of a V are in the front seat and the 3rd partner is all alone in the back, like a kid. Remember front bench style seats in old cars?
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Hello PolyLife,

We need more books that are just for polyamorists. In general, we need a book about how to make (the various kinds of) polyamory work. We need a book about how to make mono/poly relationships work. We need a book about how to deal with (envy and) jealousy in polyamorous relationships. We already have a few books about open relationships (Opening Up has sections about poly), and we have "More than Two," but I am not satisfied with that.

We also need more vacation resorts with an option to rent and stay there and enjoy the entertainment as a trio or a quad (etc.). See Vacation Advice as an illustration.

Those are the only items that come to my mind for now.
Regards,
Kevin T.
 

Bluebird

Active member
My gyno’s office actually has “polygamist” and “open relationship” as choices at check-in.
 

Tinwen

Active member
I've felt odd in cars where 2 parts of a V are in the front seat and the 3rd partner is all alone in the back, like a kid. Remember front bench style seats in old cars?
This! :D
 

Al99

Active member
Magdlyn said:
I've felt odd in cars where 2 parts of a V are in the front seat and the 3rd partner is all alone in the back, like a kid. Remember front bench style seats in old cars?

Yes, this indeed! :)

I've been in the front and the back - feels weird either way.
 

Al99

Active member
Kevin wrote:

We need more books that are just for polyamorists. In general, we need a book about how to make (the various kinds of) polyamory work. We need a book about how to make mono/poly relationships work. We need a book about how to deal with (envy and) jealousy in polyamorous relationships. We already have a few books about open relationships (Opening Up has sections about poly), and we have "More than Two," but I am not satisfied with that.

I read A LOT during my transition to poly - probably around 2 dozen books that are directly about poly - or poly related, definitely all the "major" titles. And, I completely agree with Kevin that there is a need for some really good books on "poly living'". Opening Up (Taormino) is a really good book for couples opening up (even if somewhat dated in some respects), and More Than Two (Veaux) is an important work on poly ethics - an excellent source of food for thought and discussion points, whether you agree with Veaux's conclusions or not (and despite Veaux having become controversial recently. And if you can wade through it - many find it too verbose, ponderous, overly opinionated, and just not very engaging. Although, in spite of this, I found it worth the effort just for the ideas presented).

I would also recommend Designer Relationships by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson - which I found to be quite helpful in working through our transition to poly.

There are a number of other "good" books on poly out there as well - all helpful to some degree in their own right, depending upon where the reader is "coming from". However, as poly evolves and increasingly enters the public awareness, there is certainly a need for some new thoughtful and engaging books on "living poly" - hopefully ones that would address all the various shades of polyamory.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Yes, we need something comprehensive that caters exclusively to polyamory. Also we need a book on jealousy in polyamory, something that has a generous section for when the jealousy is justified (Poly Hell).

Thanks Al for the recommendation about "Designer Relationships." I was not familiar with that title.
 

Evie

Well-known member
Movies... especially Rom Coms with ENM as a central theme.

Go on you screen writers, write about a V that becomes an N that becomes a W, or two Vs that become a W and all get together for a holiday, and all out themselves to their parents and siblings all in one hit at Thanksgiving. Then make a couple of sets of parents realise it's a great idea and...hilarity ensues.
 

Evie

Well-known member
An updated version of "Game of Life" which isn't monocentric and linear career path based.
 

icesong

Member
Kevin wrote:



I read A LOT during my transition to poly - probably around 2 dozen books that are directly about poly - or poly related, definitely all the "major" titles. And, I completely agree with Kevin that there is a need for some really good books on "poly living'". Opening Up (Taormino) is a really good book for couples opening up (even if somewhat dated in some respects), and More Than Two (Veaux) is an important work on poly ethics - an excellent source of food for thought and discussion points, whether you agree with Veaux's conclusions or not (and despite Veaux having become controversial recently. And if you can wade through it - many find it too verbose, ponderous, overly opinionated, and just not very engaging. Although, in spite of this, I found it worth the effort just for the ideas presented).

I would also recommend Designer Relationships by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson - which I found to be quite helpful in working through our transition to poly.

There are a number of other "good" books on poly out there as well - all helpful to some degree in their own right, depending upon where the reader is "coming from". However, as poly evolves and increasingly enters the public awareness, there is certainly a need for some new thoughtful and engaging books on "living poly" - hopefully ones that would address all the various shades of polyamory.

I'm surprised more people don't mention Off The Relationship Escalator - I know I'm a little bit more on the non-structured / relationship anarchy side of things, but I found it a REALLY valuable book for figuring out what I wanted within each of my relationships, even the non-romantic ones.
 

MeeraReed

Active member
An updated version of "Game of Life" which isn't monocentric and linear career path based.

LOL. That Life boardgame was viscerally upsetting to me as a teenager. I was just horrified. I didn't WANT to get in a minivan and collect a partner and have kids and move along a linear career path. The whole thing was powerfully offensive to me.

My brother, on the other hand, loved the game and thought it was nifty. He married his college girlfriend, had two kids, followed a traditional career path, and owned a house before he was 30. He and his wife checked all the boxes on that linear Life path.

They make a ton of money and are among the most boring people I know. My brother is very happy though!
 

icesong

Member
Hey! you can be interesting if you marry your high school / college partner and have a house before 30... ;-)

Never ever ever ever ever getting a minivan though.
 
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