Jojo's HELLO :)

Jojo Autumn

Jojo Autumn

New member
Hello, it's Jojo here :)

I'm a currently single, bi-gender queer person, assigned female at birth. I have more feminine energies than masculine whilst expressing both.
My pronouns are: they/them

I'm happy to connect with others on the site for friendship and/or for beyond friendship territories. I'm also open to online only connections, for friendship or for whatever we mutually agree on.

I like spirituality, mindfulness/meditation, fashion, nature, history, some movies (non-violent ones), healthy eating, healthy living. I've always liked to try and understand human behaviour and I studied Social Sciences/Psychology. As time goes by, I find myself specifically interested in sexual psychology.

From a young age I have been captivated by stories, fictive or real, where somebody had multiple partners, especially those on a consensual basis.
As an adult, I came to understand and accept that I don't believe that a person can be owned in any way by another, even like the 'my spouse', 'my life partner', 'my other half' approaches. I feel that to me the more wholesome way is deeply connecting with each other and supporting, encouraging each other but without the titles and owning type of approaches that usually come with relationships.

I also often feel that the concept of two people merging all their living space, resources, connections and plans, hoping that the other person won't change too much as so they can stay together the longer, is outdated. It somehow doesn't feel modern enough for me :)
I think that as humans we were and are called to an existence of constant change, the more and deeper the better, and I see that as beautiful, though it means others might leave our circles over time. I'm okay with that.

Listening to people's life stories, I often think that a lot of friendships are missing out on healthy romantic/sexual dimensions being added to them because one or both members are already in a monogamous relationship. I personally don't fathom why disclosed and mutually accepted non-monogamy is still a taboo thing in society or why it is considered to be a less high morale, less ethical or less valid thing than forms of monogamy. Hmm.

I think the form of polyamory that is closest to me is uncoupled people having multiple lovers, online or in-person, who are also living uncoupled.

I'm not interested in engaging with existing couples, i.e. the 'couple looking for' type ads.


That being said, it's great to be here! ;)


Love,

Jojo
 
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Greetings Jojo,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You have made the quantum leap from exclusive monogamy to ethical nonmonogamy, of which polyamory is a part. Kudos to you for making that leap, it isn't easy to do given the monogamous brainwashing to which we are all subjected. I'm glad you could join this forum, and hope to hear from you often.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
kdt26417 said:
Kudos to you for making that leap, it isn't easy to do given the monogamous brainwashing to which we are all subjected.
Click to expand...

Thank you, Kevin, for the friendly welcome :)

Yes, my 'awakening' took me some time as I was surrounded by a lot of adults who would rather cling on to a sort of 'victim mindset' in unhappy or restrictive long term partnerships, no matter the price emotionally or mental health wise. Rather than considering any other option.

Studying psychology helped me understand how early and how effectively that monogamous brainwashing starts in a typical child's life, along with tying the meaning of loyalty to only monogamous relationships, also.
Which, to me, puts sexuality to the function category, as of: either it is the means to keep a monogamous union last as long as possible no matter how different the partners become over time, or to be the secret side hassle with a third person for somone in a long term monogamous commitment when they no longer access it with the partner/spouse to the level they want to.

Now, closer to 40, I feel that I'm able to embrace my own way of thinking easier.


Jojo
they/them
 
Yeah, that brainwashing is potent stuff. Even when someone chooses polyamory, monogamous notions creep into the equation. It took me a lot of years to realize that mutual consent is what defines morality. Up until then I thought it was defined by an arbitrary code laid out in the Bible and by church authorities. My parents and other adults in my life were sure of it, and as a child, those were the people I trusted.
 
Jojo Autumn said:
Hello, it's Jojo here :)
Click to expand...
Hi Jojo, welcome to the forum!
Jojo Autumn said:
I'm a currently single, bi-gender queer person, assigned female at birth. I have more feminine energies than masculine, whilst expressing both.
My pronouns are: they/them
Click to expand...
I'd have to say I am quite similar to you in how I identify. I am non-binary, somewhat more femme, but with definite masculine energies. (I do use she/her pronouns, though.) I've always been drawn to people like me, and to cultures where a "third gender," "two spirit" individuals, or people who live full time as women while being male bodied, or vice versa, has always been accepted, even celebrated. I remember well a quote from an early European explorer who wrote how a Pacific island he visited accepted 32 genders, while he "saw only two." Ugh.

It's interesting how literature like the Bible is used to support or force the idea of just two genders, while the category of "eunuchs" is recognized without being deeply understood or explored. I think the desire for lots of babies to increase the population and power of the small struggling tribe of Israel really had a role in the insistence on male/female/big families idea. It takes a lot of digging to uncover the non-binary and otherwise queer stuff in the Bible, but it's there! And Israel was surrounded by cultures like the Greek one, where more allowance was made for same sex relationships, masculine women, feminine men, etc. Personally, I have a lot of empathy for Jezebel! :)

Maybe you've heard of the book Sex at Dawn, which goes into the idea of this from an anthropological point of view. Highly recommend.



Jojo Autumn said:
I'm happy to connect with others on the site for friendship and/or for beyond friendship territories. I'm also open to online only connections, for friendship or for whatever we mutually agree on.

I like spirituality, mindfulness/meditation, fashion, nature, history, some movies (non-violent ones), healthy eating, healthy living. I've always liked to try and understand human behaviour and I studied Social Sciences/Psychology. As time goes by, I find myself specifically interested in sexual psychology.
Click to expand...
Yes to all of that, including fashion. I even collect fashion dolls lol (mostly from thrift stores). I enjoy the concept of a capsule wardrobe, 80% classic, 20% trends. Mixing and matching is so fun. Accessories are key. :)
Jojo Autumn said:
From a young age I have been captivated by stories, fictive or real, where somebody had multiple partners, especially those on a consensual basis.
As an adult, I came to understand and accept that I don't believe that a person can be owned in any way by another, even like the 'my spouse', 'my life partner', 'my other half' approaches. I feel that to me the more wholesome way is deeply connecting with each other and supporting, encouraging each other but without the titles and owning type of approaches that usually come with relationships.
Click to expand...
When new people come here and write about "my husband/wife/gf/bf" and the like, I always beg them to just chose nicknames for them, rather than use a possessive term!
Jojo Autumn said:
I also often feel that the concept of two people merging all their living space, resources, connections and plans, hoping that the other person won't change too much, so they can stay together longer, is outdated. It somehow doesn't feel modern enough for me. I think that as humans we were and are called to an existence of constant change, the more and deeper the better, and I see that as beautiful, though it means others might leave our circles over time. I'm okay with that.

Listening to people's life stories, I often think that a lot of friendships are missing out on healthy romantic/sexual dimensions being added to them because one or both members are already in a monogamous relationship. I personally don't fathom why disclosed and mutually accepted non-monogamy is still a taboo thing in society, or why it is considered to be a less ethical or valid thing than forms of monogamy. Hmm.

I think the form of polyamory that is closest to me is uncoupled people having multiple lovers, online or in-person, who are also living uncoupled.
Click to expand...
We would call that being "solo poly."

Glad you're here. You'll fit right in. We are an anonymous group, so it can be hard to meet people from here irl from your area. Sometimes people do drop hints. I don't mind saying I live in central Massachusetts. Over the years I have met and hung out with a few people I "met" here.
 
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