I have done both Kevin.
He still has to work through the acceptance of the "new" reality. Go figure.
I'm standing my ground.
But I admit that I get tired of repeating myself.
Today I wrapped the last few little gifts for the kids. In the past we've had some large Christmas's. This year is the least number of people living here AND the least gifts per person as well. I'm ok with that. But it is noticeable.
Tomorrow evening the grandsons return home to mom and dad. The kids and I will be relieved. As much as I love them-a single overnight visit is MUCH more do-able than two straight weeks.
Panther is having an emotional/lonely holiday.
Unexpectedly Maca has been relatively considerate about watching the grand kids a few times so that I could go spend some time with Panther. GG did as well twice.
So what was looking like 4 straight weeks apart has been reduced to only the two weeks I will be in Arizona.
Two of my classes (at different times) got cancelled causing me to need to sign up for different classes and re-do my whole school schedule for next semester. Talk about a PITA! Hopefully it won't happen AGAIN. It makes it REALLY hard to coordinate long term plans for the kids care when my schedule keeps being changed by the school!
The new granddaughter is doing well. She's jaundiced-but that was expected. She's improving daily. She lost some weight the first few days-which was also expected, but she's gaining daily. I was thinking today while I took a quick shower, how nice it is that she's a week old, and I haven't had to change a single one of her diapers! YAY!
My depression has been holding at a mild range. I've been forcing myself to get up and get out. It's hard when it's dark til 10am and then dark again by 4. But the days are starting to get longer.
I haven't had any issues with anxiety this month.
YAY!
I'm working really hard at sticking to positive positive positive and holding my boundaries strong. A large part of that is NOT TALKING. That sounds kind of weird when I write it-but it's true. Instead of responding to questions and pressure, I respond with "I need to think about that" and then I go back and re-read the "Relationship Bill of Rights" on p. 42-43 of More Than Two. It helps me refocus on what I shouldn't be "compromising away". Things that are inherently reasonable boundaries for me to hold for myself.
THEN I respond.
It's NOT making everyone happy. In fact it's REALLY frustrating some people. But it IS helping me feel more confident, secure and happy with myself.