I'm 41 y.o. married woman, with a boyfriend, K, of about 18 months. We've been friends for years, and I'm friends with his wife, too. 3 or so times a month we have a night where my husband is out and K. can come over for some "us" time. We also go out upon occasion. K's wife, M., has another partner who lives in another country, but he comes to visit once or twice a year and stays with them for 6+ weeks. So far, things have been really good.
Recently, there have been a couple of incidents where it really feels like M. resents K's relationship with me. (Even though she was the one who suggested the two of us start dating in the first place.) Just little things, really. Like tonight.
Tonight was one of our nights together. We missed last weekend, and won't see each other for two weeks due to vacation schedules. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, I know. But about an hour into our evening, she calls him to find out if he can come join her at the bar where she is with friends, having a great time. She'd like him to drive her home. So we wrapped up early and off he went.
I told him I knew he had to leave, but I was sad he had to cut the evening short. I know he feels torn and I feel resentful and pissed. And my facebook feed is full of pictures from all the happy people at the bar (I can't go -- we have kids at home and an adult has to be here). So she gets to have a great time and he has to come running even though it's one of the few hours of the month we get to spend together.
I'm angry for him, angry for me. And at the same time, I want to be able to brush it off because it shouldn't matter.
Do I just let it go? Do I tell him how upset I really am?
Or is this just karma coming back to bite me? A few weeks ago I did something inconsiderate that really hurt and frustrated my husband and I felt awful about it. I did everything I could to make it up to him, but maybe karma just needed to give me a good bitch-slap about it, just to be sure?
Thanks for letting me vent. Feel free to comment if you like.
Recently, there have been a couple of incidents where it really feels like M. resents K's relationship with me. (Even though she was the one who suggested the two of us start dating in the first place.) Just little things, really. Like tonight.
Tonight was one of our nights together. We missed last weekend, and won't see each other for two weeks due to vacation schedules. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, I know. But about an hour into our evening, she calls him to find out if he can come join her at the bar where she is with friends, having a great time. She'd like him to drive her home. So we wrapped up early and off he went.
I told him I knew he had to leave, but I was sad he had to cut the evening short. I know he feels torn and I feel resentful and pissed. And my facebook feed is full of pictures from all the happy people at the bar (I can't go -- we have kids at home and an adult has to be here). So she gets to have a great time and he has to come running even though it's one of the few hours of the month we get to spend together.
I'm angry for him, angry for me. And at the same time, I want to be able to brush it off because it shouldn't matter.
Do I just let it go? Do I tell him how upset I really am?
Or is this just karma coming back to bite me? A few weeks ago I did something inconsiderate that really hurt and frustrated my husband and I felt awful about it. I did everything I could to make it up to him, but maybe karma just needed to give me a good bitch-slap about it, just to be sure?
Thanks for letting me vent. Feel free to comment if you like.