I'm in my first poly relationship, and my family does not know about it.
Our situation; my Girl Friend (GF) is married to a man (Girl Friend's Husband, GFH). GFH also has a Boy Friend (BF). None of us have any interest in changing this dynamic or adding other metamours. GH and GFH are expecting their first child and we are all thrilled about it!
While we are open with our friends and her family, MY family is in the dark and believes GF is a close friend. I've weighed the pros and cons of telling my family and always come up with more reasons not to. The biggest one is that I am certain that there is no way they would could ever understand that I could be happy this way. I truly believe that they would think I was "settling" and that I am just wanting so badly to have someone that I will take less than I deserve. I know I would never be able to convince them otherwise and that I would never hear then end of it from them, which would only cause strain on my relationship with GF.
I also run into situations where me and GF are spending so much time together or doing things that seem like something you do with a GF, not just a friend, and trying to find ways to either explain it to my family or avoid telling them altogether. For example - telling my mom I'm busy this weekend because she is coming over, but she's been over the past three weekends, and my mom finds it odd I'm with her so much). Yes, I realize as I type this how overbearing that sounds but, I'm sure some daughters know exactly what I mean.
I carry some guilt around not telling them, as I tend to be pretty open with my family. I do feel like telling them about this relationship, that is so important to me, would only cause unhappiness.
Has anyone else ever been in this situation? Are you still?
Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
Our situation; my Girl Friend (GF) is married to a man (Girl Friend's Husband, GFH). GFH also has a Boy Friend (BF). None of us have any interest in changing this dynamic or adding other metamours. GH and GFH are expecting their first child and we are all thrilled about it!
While we are open with our friends and her family, MY family is in the dark and believes GF is a close friend. I've weighed the pros and cons of telling my family and always come up with more reasons not to. The biggest one is that I am certain that there is no way they would could ever understand that I could be happy this way. I truly believe that they would think I was "settling" and that I am just wanting so badly to have someone that I will take less than I deserve. I know I would never be able to convince them otherwise and that I would never hear then end of it from them, which would only cause strain on my relationship with GF.
I also run into situations where me and GF are spending so much time together or doing things that seem like something you do with a GF, not just a friend, and trying to find ways to either explain it to my family or avoid telling them altogether. For example - telling my mom I'm busy this weekend because she is coming over, but she's been over the past three weekends, and my mom finds it odd I'm with her so much). Yes, I realize as I type this how overbearing that sounds but, I'm sure some daughters know exactly what I mean.
I carry some guilt around not telling them, as I tend to be pretty open with my family. I do feel like telling them about this relationship, that is so important to me, would only cause unhappiness.
Has anyone else ever been in this situation? Are you still?
Any insight would be greatly appreciated!