Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

Evie

Kaitiaki
Staff member
Has watching the balloons made you intrigued enough to want to experience a ride in one, or even learn to pilot one?
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
12:57 p.m., Wednesday the 6th

The winds were favorable today; quite a few of the balloons got close. One of them got so close, that I could make out the facial features of the guy in the gondola.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
1:49 p.m., Thursday the 7th

Yesterday I got caught up on everything, did a bot game ... and lost. I made a number of significant mistakes that I saw only after the fact. The one that costed me the game was when I lined up my king and rook in such a way that my opponent could fork them with his bishop. Anyway, I guess I'm not ready for the advanced category. I actually wouldn't have been anyway: Chess.com added two new 1400-point bots, so I'd want to play those. Also two beginner bots were added, and I'd want to be able to say that I also played them. In theory, my plan is to play (and win) versus all of the bots, if I advance that far. So I guess I get a break, I get to play two easy bots. I just hope my skill level doesn't regress any further. It feels like it's regressed. I don't think I'm going to make it to the advanced level unless I get better about picking up on some more of the subtle situations.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
3:03 p.m., Friday the 8th

I won yesterday's bot game ... but I was only playing against a 600-point bot. Just making sure I've played against every new bot at least twice (once as White, once as Black). Personally I don't think I played that great, but the computer analysis of the game seems to think I did pretty well: no mistakes, no blunders, no missed wins. My next bot game will be me playing as Black versus the same bot.

In a couple of hours, Snowbunny and I will go shopping. I don't know if maybe we'll pick up takeout for dinner while we're out. That's all I have to tell you for the moment.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
2:22 p.m., Saturday the 9th

We ended up getting Whataburger for dinner. We were going to get Thai, but it was going to take too long, the restaurant was going to be closed before we could pick up our food. Things are very busy with the balloon festival, the line at Whataburger was very long but luckily it moved right along.

Not much to report today, Brother-Husband and Snowbunny are out running some kind of errands. Snowbunny has been replacing some of our electrical fixtures. I am quite anxious, for whatever or no reason, I've been drinking some beer but as you know, beer isn't very powerful so, it just helps a little.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
1:55 p.m., Sunday the 10th

About a couple of hours ago, I completed my latest bot game. Against the same 600-point bot but this time with me playing as Black. And I won, but I made at least one stupid mistake that I know of. I let one of my pawns get jumped for free. Later in the game I put one of my bishops into the path of a pawn, and I failed to notice that detail, so I lost the bishop. But technically that's okay because that bishop had just jumped a rook. So, a worthwhile exchange.

I believe my next bot game will be me (as White) versus a 700-point bot.

Word on the street is, we are going to eat out tonight for dinner, probably at Monroe's. That's good news.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
3:47 p.m., Wednesday the 13th

It's been somewhat of a frustrating week, as I've seemingly got further and further behind on things. Today is the first day where I seem to be making some headway. I'm super super hungry right now, but trying to fast until dinner. It sounds like SB is planning to prepare salmon for us, with rice and vegetables. That sounds good, if I can just hang in there until then.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
3:52 p.m., Thursday the 14th

I did manage to complete my fast yesterday. I have found that the hunger tends to peak out at a certain point, then recede if I can just hang in there. And I did manage to catch up on everything yesterday; I even started a bot game, but didn't finish it until today. I won the game; overall it was an easy one; my opponent handed me two or three pieces for free, one or two rooks plus his queen. So yeah, I had no excuse not to win.

In spite of all that I'm still having a somewhat rotten day, I can't explain why. I think maybe I've been beating myself up over every little mistake, maybe that's part of the problem. Also I'm dreading the little chores I'll need to do later today and tomorrow. I don't know, I'm just bummed for some reason, and I shouldn't be. If only I could tackle life one little thing at a time.

SB and I are planning to go shopping later this evening, probably after dinner? BH has curling practice tonight. That's all I can think of to tell you for the moment.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
5:32 p.m., Friday the 15th

Today is not a great day, but I am muddling through it. BH is at an eye doctor appointment, SB went with him. He's been painting the trim in our house, and the completion of that job is still pending, so I don't know if we're going to watch anything tonight.

I don't think he had curling practice yesterday. He was having it every Thursday, so I don't know if that's all done (for this year) or what.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
4:04 p.m., Saturday the 16th

We didn't watch anything last night, but BH was saying we probably will tonight, as he is going to subscribe to Disney+ and Disney Hulu and wants to break it in. We used to have Hulu, and watched part of the Handmaid's Tale, and we would like to continue it.

Today, BH's knees are too sore for painting, so instead of that, he and SB are putting up curtain rods. For dinner last night, we had Thai takeout. That's all I have to tell you for now.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
5:24 p.m., Sunday the 17th

Oops; there's no such thing as Disney Hulu, what BH meant is that Disney and Hulu came bundled together, along with ESPN (which I believe he has been tapping today). Last night we (all three of us) watched the National Geographic documentary on Dr. Fauci; it was quite good. BH was having trouble connecting us to the new Hulu account, so the Handmaid's Tale will have to wait.

Rumor has it that SB was going to make pierogi for dinner tonight; I don't know if that's still the case.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
3:37 p.m., Monday the 18th

BH and SB never got around to clearing the counter space in the kitchen for pierogi, it was getting late so we just had McDonald's. BH got his new Hulu account fixed, so we'll probably watch some more Handmaid's Tale this coming weekend.

I'm doing a little better today, still anxious and stressed-out but that is just the story of my life. I pretty much got caught up on everything yesterday, but didn't quite have enough time left to do a bot game. Frankly, I prefer that outcome. My weaknesses in Chess are depressing.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
2:24 p.m., Wednesday the 20th

Later on Monday, I got caught up on everything, played a bot game, and won. Of course, this was only against a 700-point bot, but I did play as Black. My next bot game will be against a 900-point bot, and if I win as both White and then Black, then there will be just one new 1400-point bot to confront.

Today is something of a bullshit day for me, I haven't been doing my best. I've been skipping brushing every other day, and I don't know how to talk myself into doing better. That and let's just say that the Force is not with me.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
1:26 p.m., Thursday the 21st

I guess today is a little better, although I wouldn't exactly call it perfect. Later today, the plan is to go shopping, but first SB has a hair appointment. So I'll go with her, but I'll have to wait in the car, due to Covid. I have a handheld Chess computer, so I can use that while I'm waiting, plus I can bring something to read in case the batteries run out. It suffices.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
4:33 p.m., Friday the 22nd

I guess today is a little better, but I'm still feeling extra crappy. Trying to get through life one moment at a time. Don't know what we'll have for dinner, probably not takeout as SB has something soaking on the stove. BH and I might watch something tonight. Then, SB has mentioned in passing that we might eat out sometime during the weekend. I like eating out.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
4:26 p.m., Saturday the 23rd

BH and SB have been out most of the day today, I'm not sure what all they've been doing. Maybe the first thing was a road trip? or they were meeting someone for some reason? I'm not sure. In any case, SB said that when they get back from this second outing, the three of us will go eat out for dinner. That sounds good to me. Plus I'll be honest, I've enjoyed having the house to myself. I even snuck myself a nice drink earlier today, some nice Irish cream.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
6:18 p.m., Sunday the 24th

I'm running a little late today, because SB and I went out to do some shopping earlier today. I'm not sure what dinner will be, but SB did indicate that we'd be able to have some drinky-drink. Also BH and I might watch a Handmaid episode or something. Earlier today, BH painted our front door. We don't have a back door. That's all I have to tell you for now.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
7:04 p.m., Monday the 25th

Today is Eddie's weekly Barn Hunt day, and BH is meeting SB at the Barn Hunt location. SB is in a supervisory position there, and hence is the last one to leave. Which they're not comfortable with because by now it's dark. Hence, BH is there kind of for safety reasons. They should get back here by 8:30 p.m., maybe sooner. SB will get us some kind of takeout.

BH and I watched a Handmaid episode last night. That show is really good, I would recommend it. SB prepared a drink for us called "witch's brew." It was good, just a bit fruity which was a plus.
 

Timsterandwife

New member
Please excuse the ignorance but what do the letters mean? V, N, M?
Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V (Part 2)

[continued from above]

We had never heard of polyamory before, but LH was a web researcher and a problem-solver, and she soon found out about polyamory, and about polyfidelity which particularly interested her. Soon the plan became to forge a polyfidelitous N -- LV, me, LH, and BH. But first we had to try to present the idea to LV and BH, and wait until they were okay with the idea -- if they'd ever be okay with it.

Well LV said "We'll see," then "Okay," then "No," then "What was the question" as her mind got snipped apart by the dementia. BH, LH, and I eventually saw and agreed that we were just tormenting LV by presenting her with this confusing concept. We had all transitioned into the roles of caregivers towards her anyway and she was really operating from the perspective of a child, so we kind of just dropped the subject, removed any poly scenes from her sight and mind, and let whatever she saw and experienced become her reality.

In the meantime, BH was troubled by the prospect of polyamory, and LH approached the subject with him carefully and not too often. All told, they had a conversation about it that lasted about a year. Finally he started warming up to the idea, even coming to think of polyamory as a high ideal that he wished to support. So he agreed to try.

Our four-person family decided that we needed to move. I was down and depressed and the so-often overcast skies of Michigan (with its hot humid Summers and harsh icy Winters) were getting to me. BH's Catholic family was overbearing and BH and LH both needed to get away from that. So LH plunged into a new research project: deciding what State would suit us best. We picked a place near -- but not too near -- Utah. A place with a good economy and a low cost of living. A place that's flooded with Sunshine under a cloudless sky for most of the year. The place was New Mexico.

We lived in New Mexico for almost eight years, early 2006 thru late 2013. LV went downhill rapidly and soon overwhelmed our ability to keep up with her, so, in August of 2006, we took her to a nursing home, and started visiting her there as often as we could. This actually improved my relationship with her. She and I began to enjoy the warmth we once had, though sadly the import of that was of course lost on LV.

Meantime BH and LH -- you may call them Brother-Husband and Lady Hinge -- had joined me in a three-person V configuration. Brother-Husband and I remained platonic friends but shared the most profound thing two men can share: the woman we loved. The arrangement meant much to all three of us, but I won't pretend that it was a bed of roses. We had terrible dramatic upsets in our first few years together. I was undersexed and paranoid as well that Brother-Husband would get fed up with me and essentially veto me out of the operation. He in turn I think was concerned that the "new and shiny" (me) would replace him in Lady Hinge's eyes. And Lady Hinge, of course, felt torn between the two men that she loved among other things.

Well the short-term solution turned out to be getting me a domicile of my own for a few years. A cave if you will. A place I could retreat to when the going got tough. It took some time to make that happen, but once I had a little place of my own, things slowly started to improve. Mind you there were many more storms and upsets at first, but after a year or two, I began to realize that I was starting to feel a peace about things, and that Brother-Husband and I were growing increasingly comfortable in each other's presence. In time, I moved back in with my two V companions, and this time we found that we knew how to live together gladly and serenely.

In June of last year, LV passed away. It was a blessing. She had lost all ability to talk, hear, see, and recognize those who loved her. She was lonely and lost in a state of forever waiting, for what she could not know. She was probably waiting for me to "pick her up" and sweep her away, back into the paradisaical life she had once remembered with me. I could still visit her, but no longer could she see me, and if she could hear me I couldn't tell. It broke my heart. Losing her to the hand of Death broke my heart as well, but now I was just being selfish. I needed to let her go. She needed to be free of her sufferings.

A few months later Hinge Lady and I traveled to the sleepy little mountain town in Eastern Oregon where LV had been born and spent her early childhood years. We couldn't inter her ashes next to her Mom's grave (near San Francisco) as we'd hoped, but we got special permission from two of her old relatives to place her next to her very favorite (my favorite as well) aunt (in Oregon). She got a lovely little marker, with two small cats embracing. Appropriate since LV had kept at least one cat near her for most of her life. Her relatives place flowers on her aunt's grave every Memorial Day, and promised they'd now do so for LV too. Someday we'll return, one Memorial Day, and see that in person. But thus closes that chapter of our lives.

We then made the arrangements to move to the Seattle, Washington area, within easy reach of my favorite older brother, his wife, her daughter, and her daughter's boyfriend. By the time 2013 came to a close, we'd found a lovely little place to live in, and here we'll stay. Filled with New Mexican Sunshine, I now love the rainy days and believe it or not, Seattle does get a fair helping of Sunshine too. Temperatures are mild, and we're really happy to be here.

We've been handfasted as a V since August of 2009. We're open to the idea of growing into an N or an M or what have you, but we're not looking and we feel just fine with what we have. We limit sex to our three-person circle and won't date without keeping one another in the loop about what's up. We spend most of our evenings happily watching stuff like Dexter, Sons of Anarchy, the Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Weeds, and the Following together. Our cat and dog share this charming life with us. I've been essentially retired for quite a few years. My companions take good care of me.

This tells you the bulk of my story, but I'll gladly field any further thoughts and/or questions. I suppose my main point in posting here is to let you know that yes, polyamorous relationships can and do have happy endings. Not every time, but in this case and time for sure.
 
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