IndigoTiger
Member
*I understand there may be some harsh judgement here, but I'm truely desperate for any sort of solid advice and perspective here*
A year into our marriage, my husband and I decided to become openly polyamorous. This decision came about after an incident where I had gone out of town to see old friends, and in jealously he went to a friends house and got extremely intoxicated and ended up receiving a blowjob unwillingly from a female we both knew. When he disclosed this event, he did not consider it rape, and brought up the concept of becoming poly.
Our relationship was very turbulent and he was very verbally abusive to me during this time, therefore, while I was open to poly for the sake of my own happiness, i knew there was a greater issue at hand. He proceeded to defend the girl and started pressing me to consider a poly relationship with this girl and her partner, so much so that we got into a massive fight about it.
I ended up going to another couple I knew was polyamorous for any sort of guidance. By the end of our first conversation, the girl had convinced my husband he had been raped and the couple expressed interest in helping us along our poly journey.
3 years later, we put an end to those relationships because I learned the girl to be a narcissist and her husband to have some serious stockholm syndrome.
Beyond the poly journey, my husband has gone through waves of toxic cycles that have done nothing but bring me down. Years of verbal abuse, gaslighting, and manipulation have come to a head and hes agreed to divorce me (so far).
I've now found myself in a relationship with a man whom I've fallen in love with. Completely head over heels. I've never had a relationship quite as fulfilling and healthy as this. And I honestly never thought I would meet someone that checks all my boxes. That's why poly exists, right?
Going through all this, I'm finding that I dont have the emotional capacity to nurture more than one partner, and honestly I dont care to at this time.
I'm now watching my STBX husband prioritize quantity over quality, dating girls he doesnt show respect for, pursuing girls that hes talked mad shit about, and dragging along men hes not interested in for the sake of attention. I really feel that polyamory has left a bad taste in my mouth after all the toxicity. What do I do?
A year into our marriage, my husband and I decided to become openly polyamorous. This decision came about after an incident where I had gone out of town to see old friends, and in jealously he went to a friends house and got extremely intoxicated and ended up receiving a blowjob unwillingly from a female we both knew. When he disclosed this event, he did not consider it rape, and brought up the concept of becoming poly.
Our relationship was very turbulent and he was very verbally abusive to me during this time, therefore, while I was open to poly for the sake of my own happiness, i knew there was a greater issue at hand. He proceeded to defend the girl and started pressing me to consider a poly relationship with this girl and her partner, so much so that we got into a massive fight about it.
I ended up going to another couple I knew was polyamorous for any sort of guidance. By the end of our first conversation, the girl had convinced my husband he had been raped and the couple expressed interest in helping us along our poly journey.
3 years later, we put an end to those relationships because I learned the girl to be a narcissist and her husband to have some serious stockholm syndrome.
Beyond the poly journey, my husband has gone through waves of toxic cycles that have done nothing but bring me down. Years of verbal abuse, gaslighting, and manipulation have come to a head and hes agreed to divorce me (so far).
I've now found myself in a relationship with a man whom I've fallen in love with. Completely head over heels. I've never had a relationship quite as fulfilling and healthy as this. And I honestly never thought I would meet someone that checks all my boxes. That's why poly exists, right?
Going through all this, I'm finding that I dont have the emotional capacity to nurture more than one partner, and honestly I dont care to at this time.
I'm now watching my STBX husband prioritize quantity over quality, dating girls he doesnt show respect for, pursuing girls that hes talked mad shit about, and dragging along men hes not interested in for the sake of attention. I really feel that polyamory has left a bad taste in my mouth after all the toxicity. What do I do?