Yes, this all sounds so enmeshed and full of expectations. Both men are pressuring you to have all 4 of you be bffs and hang together on a regular basis? Sheesh. Like a quad thing? Like "double dates?" I'd had to feel pressured to do a family style poly myself. You can't force friendship.
I have kids with nate, all family events happen during my time with nate and therefore sam doesn't attend, both are never invited.
If I am invited to something (say a friend's bonfire ) then I go with the person who's night it is. don't celebrate holidays and neither do sam or nate so there isn't a rotation there. Halloween is the only thing I do with the kids and that is spent with nate regardless of the night because it's with our kids and also because sam isn't available. All work related functions I attend with Sam because we work for thesame company.
Yes, this all sounds so enmeshed and full of expectations. Both men are pressuring you to have all 4 of you be bffs and hang together on a regular basis? Sheesh. Like a quad thing? Like "double dates?" I'd had to feel pressured to do a family style poly myself. You can't force friendship.
No both men are not pressuring for me to meet up or be friends with all.
Trip is getting pressure from his partner to have her, him and me meet up, and also for all four of us to do a double date. This was not trips idea or mine.
I suggested, and the guys suggested, that the guys meet at least once. This was partially in a courteous response to me having met Peti once, and also because rocky had already met my previous lovers. That was agreed on on all parties who would be present (trip, rocky, myself), separate of trips partner Peti.
Yes I do think there is possible expectations that are not being said from trip and Peti however. But I have made my boundaries clear. I will be happy to talk to and meet Peti on her own if she really does have a trust issues with me. I will maybe do the three of us again.
