My current situation

Hopefulgirl

New member
Hello, its my first time here so i assume i go here to post a blog and talk about my life and update it
So, im in love with two women, my wife rose and my arguably best friend lilac
This isnt my first encounter with me being poly, in high school i was in a relationship with someone but it was very messy and morally questionable since i didnt have a grasp on ethical non monogamy at the time
My next encounter was with another girl but she didnt reciprocate and my wife found out and it all spiraled out of control
Im trying to be better this time, nothing will change the fact im polyamorous and my wife is monogamous
She told me i can talk to her about my feelings for other people, but i worry she will feel unloved if i do, and i dont want to lose my friendship with lilac because honestly we both have friends and our friendship is super long distance but i do think we will be best friends soon
I guess since ive explained it all id like to vent about things they do that make me feel loved despite the fact i dont want to tell either of them, and maybe every other day i can give a quick description of what they did
Today rose made me feel really happy, i was stressed about work and she made me feel calmer and relaxed, lilac sent me photos of her smiling and i spent ten minutes staring at her smile
 
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Hi Laura,

You are doing the right thing, this is the right place to post your feelings. I can see that your feelings for both Rose and Lilac are very strong. I am sorry that Rose isn't allowing you to act on your feelings for Lilac. I am looking forward to hearing about the little things they do that make you feel loved.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Ughugh i was describing my ideal partner to lilac and she said “actually im the opposite “ so i was hoping for her to describe her being my perfect match but instead she just said she wanted the opposite of what i wanted in a partner
 
It is okay if you are poly and your wife is mono. Sometimes couples make that work.
My Sir's wife is monogamous but accepts that her husband is not. We have a nice arrangement of mutual respect and love.
However not everyone is wired for that. It's a difficult place to be.
 
It is okay if you are poly and your wife is mono. Sometimes couples make that work.
My Sir's wife is monogamous but accepts that her husband is not. We have a nice arrangement of mutual respect and love.
However not everyone is wired for that. It's a difficult place to be.
That is so wonderful! That’s literally what i want too for me and my wife, but it still brings me joy seeing others live my ideal life
 
It really isn't easily fetched to have to share love with anyone but if we can be selfless and think of those who might want what we have, we would see clearly that there's so much to gain from sharing with others. Isn't it a good thing that others admire what we own?
Literally my thoughts, too. I just wish my wife could understand what I feel in my heart when I think of Lilac, because if she saw that it was pure and loving, I think she would let me be with her.
 
Sorry that Lilac is the exact opposite of what you want in an ideal partner. Hopefully she will change her mind about that. It would help if Rose would just see that your feelings for Lilac are pure and loving, then she would let you be with her.
 
It really isn't easily fetched to have to share love with anyone but if we can be selfless and think of those who might want what we have, we would see clearly that there's so much to gain from sharing with others. Isn't it a good thing that others admire what we own

Sit her down and talk some sense into her brain. She prolly needs just communication. Oftentimes, partners want to be carried along in everything we plan to do. Sense of belonging. Same as you wouldn't want to be left out in her plans too.
I think I will. It's a pretty sensitive topic, so I'm going to just drop hints about it, for probably too long. But I want to be careful about this. Recently I've been making comments and jokes about being poly, so it might be easier to broach the topic that way.
 
Sorry that Lilac is the exact opposite of what you want in an ideal partner. Hopefully she will change her mind about that. It would help if Rose would just see that your feelings for Lilac are pure and loving, then she would let you be with her.
I agree. I mean, I know some friendships can be semi-romantic, but we talk a lot about cuddling and massaging each other and lots of stuff. Honestly, I wish Rose would let me be poly again, because I almost guarantee Lilac would make a move if I told her my wife was open.
 
"Own?" "Let me be poly?"

No one owns someone else, in this day and age. Slavery is illegal.

Also, your partner is not your parent. You two are equals. So neither one "lets" the other do stuff, or can give permission, or "allow" you to not do what you want. You tell them outright what you want and need. They consider it and decide if they consent to be in that kind of relationship or not.

Dropping hints and making jokes may seem like a good way to broach a sensitive topic, but generally, openness and honesty, good clear communication, is the top suggestion for healthy polyamory.

If you want to deny your poly nature, you can. You can choose to push that part of yourself down, shrink yourself, sacrifice part of yourself for the marriage.

Likewise, Rose can deny that she would be happier in a fully mono marriage, and consent to you seeing Lilac (or others). She might get used to it, or she might continue to be jealous, feel neglected, robbed, suffering a loss of what she thought she was signing up for.
 
Some of you were replying to "slimKat". This account was banned due to AI-generated spam.
 
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