Netflix series "YouMeHer"

Nadya

Member
Anyone seen the Netflix series YouMeHer? What did you think about it?

I could not stop watching it once I started, even though it was a kinda painful experience. Like - utterly stupid decisions, rushing into a serious relationship without almost any communication at all... well, that is a way to add drama!

However, it did feel nice to watch something where loving more than one person at a time is possible. The mononormative romantic stuff is just so annoying often times.
 

vinsanity0

Active member
I liked it. I like how it shows mistakes being made. They are fairly typical mistakes so I would recommend it to anyone thinking about forming a triad. The only problem I had with it is it was a stereotypical couple+ 1 triad.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
It's nice to hear about a poly show, sure it would be nice to not have it be a "unicorn show," but at least *some* kind of poly setup is beginning to get some mainstream airtime. Hopefully this is just the beginning.
 
The 3 of us haven't watched it yet, but plan to. Although he and I weren't exactly a vanilla couple and met our third through a swinging site, but became a closed triad, we are intrigued by the premise of the show and have seen poly friends go through some of the struggles based on what we have read about the show, so we are interested in watching it.

I hope that non poly people who watch it, or any series or movie, documentary, etc. will realize polyamorous people go through struggles in varying degrees like non poly people do and understand it's not always everyone ripping their clothes off and just having sex. As our husband always says, "No matter your relationship preference, we all go through the same shit regardless."
 

Monkfish

New member
It's nice to hear about a poly show, sure it would be nice to not have it be a "unicorn show," but at least *some* kind of poly setup is beginning to get some mainstream airtime. Hopefully this is just the beginning.

In another post you also refer to unicorn as a FMF throuplet, is this a general term and does it apply here? Didn't see the show btw...
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Throuple and throuplet are popular terms right now, although personally I prefer to say, "MFF triad." Sometimes I'll say "H/W +1," for "hetero Husband and bi Wife," plus one "hot bi babe."
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
In another post you also refer to unicorn as a FMF throuplet, is this a general term and does it apply here? Didn't see the show btw.

I hate the term "throuple." And I have not seen "throuplet" used, but that sounds even worse.

Throuple seems to imply that poly is "couple+1" with all 3 being involved. But a triad is 3 Vs stacked up. Say it's 2 women and one man, both women are bi. You have 3 dyads:

M+F1
M+F2
F1+F2

Then you have M+F1+F2.

All 4 relationships need to be nurtured. One on one dates and sex should happen. If it's always seen as "original couple +1" it's doomed to failure. That is couple-centric thinking, and makes F2 seem like a mere addition to the original couple, secondary, and doomed to only have 3way sex and dates, whereas the original couple can have all the one on one sex and dates with each other that they want. They can get together and talk about the unicorn behind her back, and make plans for her without her consent. She might feel lesser and think she has to agree to whatever the couple says. She may not be allowed to have one on one time with either of her partners, not even be able to privately text one of them, without the other member literally reading the texts over his or her shoulder

Unicorns are often abused and seen as a mere sex toy for the original couple to use in many ways. For sex, for housework, as a babysitter. She is left out of the larger family circle, unrecognized as a full partner, uninvited to work parties, with no legal protections, basically no rights whatsoever, and often seen as an interloper by the other woman, with much jockeying for position and status. If she moves in, she may not have a room of her own, or the right to decorate the house, bring her own things there and put them around, take charge in the kitchen, etc.

There's a millennia long history of polygyny (harems) in human culture. It almost always leads to pain for the women. Men are often terrible at managing negotiations between 2 women.
 

Monkfish

New member
That sounds awful. Never thought about it like that. Never thought about a triad actually, even when it was proposed. And when I read your post, I don't even want it... Thanks for sharing.
 
I mean there's nothing wrong with it if you can make it work, by which I mean "all parties are equal partners and given the attention they need and deserve". But nobody should be expecting that to happen going in to poly. I would love it if it ended up that way (actually my "fantasy" is being the third brought into an existing F/F), but I have no illusions about the likelihood and I won't be too upset if it never happens.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member

Evie

Active member
I haven't watched it largely because I was peeved that they made "her" an escort. Why???????? Grrrr clichés.

(p.s. I'm very pro un-coerced sex work)
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
I haven't watched it largely because I was peeved that they made "her" an escort. Why???????? Grrrr clichés.

I don't think I can access any of the platforms through which this is available. I'm glad it's obscure, since it centers on the worst cliched myth about "polyamory," in the world, and will only perpetuate the myth and cause actual severe human suffering for those who try to emulate it.

An older (almost 40, so still hot by Hollywood standards) MF long term married couple, male straight, female bi (zzz...) with a boring sex life, seeks and easily finds a younger (only in her 20's!) naive hot bi babe (an escort, no less, therefore a loose woman) to "share." Ugh ugh ugh.

A review says they meet the escort, the guy first, shortly followed by the woman, all "fall in love," and talk about "what's next?" in their (borg-like) "relationship," all in the space of 10 days.

It's a fucking romcom based on a ridiculous premise. Pass.
 

vinsanity0

Active member
I hate the term "throuple." And I have not seen "throuplet" used, but that sounds even worse.

Throuple seems to imply that poly is "couple+1" with all 3 being involved. But a triad is 3 Vs stacked up. Say it's 2 women and one man, both women are bi. You have 3 dyads:

M+F1
M+F2
F1+F2

Then you have M+F1+F2.

All 4 relationships need to be nurtured. One on one dates and sex should happen. If it's always seen as "original couple +1" it's doomed to failure. That is couple-centric thinking, and makes F2 seem like a mere addition to the original couple, secondary, and doomed to only have 3way sex and dates, whereas the original couple can have all the one on one sex and dates with each other that they want. They can get together and talk about the unicorn behind her back, and make plans for her without her consent. She might feel lesser and think she has to agree to whatever the couple says. She may not be allowed to have one on one time with either of her partners, not even be able to privately text one of them, without the other member literally reading the texts over his or her shoulder

Unicorns are often abused and seen as a mere sex toy for the original couple to use in many ways. For sex, for housework, as a babysitter. She is left out of the larger family circle, unrecognized as a full partner, uninvited to work parties, with no legal protections, basically no rights whatsoever, and often seen as an interloper by the other woman, with much jockeying for position and status. If she moves in, she may not have a room of her own, or the right to decorate the house, bring her own things there and put them around, take charge in the kitchen, etc.

There's a millennia long history of polygyny (harems) in human culture. It almost always leads to pain for the women. Men are often terrible at managing negotiations between 2 women.
That's an interesting take, but I see "throuple" as the opposite of a plus one. However, I don't think it's healthy to treat it as one relationship. Gawd that would be exhausting.
 

vinsanity0

Active member
Gotta love people who review stuff they have never seen.

She's a college student working on an advanced degree. She did the occasional escort thing for fun and profit. It's a very minor plot device to get them to meet. It's not explored at all

Also this isn't an attractive couple looking for a hot bi babe clichè. The hot bi babe orchestrated the whole thing. Also it doesn't portray the whole thing as a bed of roses. There's plenty of thorns. There's also plenty of good messages for people who are thinking of doing something like this. In fact, I think everything Mags mentioned is addressed.
 

Al99

Active member
I haven't watched it but decided I might watch an episode or two - as the op mentioned that it was on Netflix. However, as of today, it is not showing up on my (USA) Netflix subscription. Anyone know if it has been removed (I know that Netflix is constantly adding and deleting shows)? Or perhaps it is on International Netflix? Anyone know where else it might be currently streaming?

Al
 

vinsanity0

Active member
I haven't watched it but decided I might watch an episode or two - as the op mentioned that it was on Netflix. However, as of today, it is not showing up on my (USA) Netflix subscription. Anyone know if it has been removed (I know that Netflix is constantly adding and deleting shows)? Or perhaps it is on International Netflix? Anyone know where else it might be currently streaming?

Al

It's on Netflix outside of Canada and USA. In the US it is available on DirecTV Now and AT&T TV app.
 

Al99

Active member
Quote:
Originally Posted by vinsanity0 View Post
In the US it is available on DirecTV Now and AT&T TV app.

In other words, unavailable. :p

Yep. Lol. (I use Roku with various streaming services - that do not include anything AT&T related).
 

vinsanity0

Active member
In other words, unavailable. :p

Well...the only reason I found it is because I have the DirecTV app so I can watch stuff out on the road. I also dumped cable after Cat died. I can play stuff from my phone while at home by using Chromecast.

I just read where the 5th season is the last season so it will probably come on US Netflix after that.
 
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