Hi I am a 45 year old man. I have 4 children three living at home. I have always been a bit different the the traditional relationships. I never felt right in monogamous relationships. One time when I was a teen, I had sex with two different women during the same day and I felt the most alive I have ever felt. But that was the closest I ever got to polyamory. I was married in a monogamous relationship for 10 years. I never felt right or like myself, we talked about adding other women to our relationship even made an account, but we ended up divorcing over separate issues before we do anything. She passed away a few years later so my romantic life has taken a back burner. Now my life has started to settle and I am ready to move on. I knew I am not alone in wanting the life I desire, but always felt it wasn’t in my cards. Then I found this site earlier today and I thought why not virtually connect with like minded people. When I first I came across the term polyamory and saw the show sister wives I realised that that is the life style i want. Now the difficulty is I live in a small Christian based town in a state that likes guns and hates people like me so finding like minded people here is challenging. I have been wishing to find a mentor who could take me under their wing and help me explore this world I have felt like I have been wishing of becoming a member.
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- Thread starter Reddraco
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Greetings Reddraco,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
I don't know that I would qualify as a "mentor," but I would be glad to answer any questions you may have, whether it be on this thread, another thread, or via direct messaging (just hover over my avatar, then click on "Start conversation"). It sounds like you have been on a long road to polyamory, and now at last you can embrace it. I'm glad you could join us on this site, you will find many like-minded people here.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
I don't know that I would qualify as a "mentor," but I would be glad to answer any questions you may have, whether it be on this thread, another thread, or via direct messaging (just hover over my avatar, then click on "Start conversation"). It sounds like you have been on a long road to polyamory, and now at last you can embrace it. I'm glad you could join us on this site, you will find many like-minded people here.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
In poly you don't "add a third" to a relationship. Generally you just date people as individuals.
Of course, Sister Wives is a LDS trainwreck of a show and has very little to do with modern polyamory. It is patriarchal polygyny. You may find a poly woman to date who also already has a bf or gf of her own, for example. You probably won't find a harem of women wanting to all share one man. That's just not what modern women want.
You may not find just one mentor here, but many. We've all had different poly journeys, so reading a bunch of threads will start to give you an overview of how to proceed. You definitely will have a hard time finding poly women to date in your conservative state! Maybe if you can look on apps and find women in the bigger cities you will have more luck.
In the meantime, I'd recommend ordering the book Opening Up, which is a great how-to book about ethical non-monogamy. It's an excellent guide book.