New to poly

[JackiWeyland]

My husband and I of 12 years went poly about two years ago. Even though I was the one who suggested it, I am the one now questioning.

In March, my husband started a relationship with one of my friends. Initially I was stoked, because I love both of these people and see why they have a connection. However, my husband came back from his trip to visit this person, and he was very mean to me. We had plans for dinner and I needed to pack for my own trip. He ended up flaking on dinner and then kept me up all night, berating me. This was painful as it seemed. He was trying to damage our relationship.

He also had unprotected sex, which is against our rule. He’s also gotten physically violent with me for no reason.

He is now leaving me for this person, after I helped him through school and he owes me a lot of money. He’s been spending on the new partner, planning trips and dinners. We haven’t had a date in over a year.

Something doesn’t feel right…

 

[Magdlyn]

That's not polyamory. That is him find a soft landing pad before breaking up with you. It sounds like you've experienced emotional, physical and financial abuse. It's time to get a good lawyer! If you have a shared bank account, go into it now, take out half and put it in a new account, before he takes it all.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings JackiWeyland,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I'm sorry to hear how awful your husband has been treating you. It seems to me that he has been using polyamory as an excuse to treat you badly. I know you don't want to think of divorce, but you really need to protect yourself. He owes you a lot of money. If you have a joint account with him, I suggest you drain it as soon as possible. Again, I'm very sorry this is happening to you.

Sympathetically,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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[JackiWeyland]

That's not polyamory. That is him find a soft landing pad before breaking up with you. It sounds like you've experienced emotional, physical and financial abuse. It's time to get a good lawyer! If you have a shared bank account, go into it now, take out half and put it in a new account, before he takes it all.

Thank you for your time and advice
Greatly appreciated