To try to answer your questionsI am really struggling with the euphemisms. What do you actually WANT from husband?
Are you saying...
- I don't need to have sex several times in a night.
- When we DO share sex? I want good sex that is more than a perfunctory, chore like quickie.
- I crave physical intimacy. I also value mental and emotional intimacy and connection. I also value orgasms.
- I'm not getting much of any of the above. I'm bored/lonely/unseen/undervalued/taken for grant/???
- I want things to change.
- But I don't want to actually tell him to change anything because he's tired/stressed.
Is that what you are saying? Or you want something else?
I don’t have to have sex a few times a night (would it be nice sure at night and maybe in the morning) but long as I get something.
I don’t want the sex to feel like a chore at all (seems like hubs feels it is at times or I could be totally off on that) when we have sex I want good sex I want to get off.
I do want intimacy too (looking in each other eyes, cuddling) just that connection, but I also know that is not going to happen during weekday if anything that will happen on a weekend where we have more time and not rushed of course would like to get off too.
I feel like hubs feels it’s a chore to have sex on some nights (like alright guess I have to to make her happy) and if it is a quickie no I don’t always get off so that is not always fun.
I do want things to change just have to figure out how to speak my mind I think.
I feel bad he is tired but I work a 40 hour week too AND he wanted the 2nd wife so I think he needs to figure out how not to be so tired.