Hi there,
I am polyamorous but am now exploring this more and am looking for some advice.
I (F) am in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend. We live together. Recently we started opening up our relationship with his best friend (M). We agreed on rules that we stuck to.
Me and the best friend went into a different room and were intimate as part of a game and also to start exploring the intimate side of the relationship, while my boyfriend went for a walk.
Boyfriend came back early and heard us at it and is now unhappy. He regrets allowing it to happen but is fine that it did.
He has said it was only an experiment and not a relationship which I thought it was (we were all getting closer in the weeks leading up to this and went on holiday together).
He doesn't want anything else to happen again. He keeps changing his mind as to whether it is never again, or just not in the neat future. He also seems to expect me to want to "be polyam" when he wants a threesome but otherwise not.
I have fallen in love with both my boyfriend and his best friend, and am now struggling with what to do/how to deal with the possibility of not being able to continue the MFM V relationship that I thought was going on.
For context, the best friend has said he doesn't mind either way, but has changed slightly since the intimacy and is often showing more care than my boyfriend. He doesn't know how I feel at this point, but my boyfriend does, and I have been asked not to tell him.
My boyfriend often makes the decisions about what is happening with little input from me (other than to tell him that I wanted it to happen), and no input from the best friend.
Boyfriend currently does not want to talk about it to work out what to do.
Any advice would be appreciated!
I am polyamorous but am now exploring this more and am looking for some advice.
I (F) am in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend. We live together. Recently we started opening up our relationship with his best friend (M). We agreed on rules that we stuck to.
Me and the best friend went into a different room and were intimate as part of a game and also to start exploring the intimate side of the relationship, while my boyfriend went for a walk.
Boyfriend came back early and heard us at it and is now unhappy. He regrets allowing it to happen but is fine that it did.
He has said it was only an experiment and not a relationship which I thought it was (we were all getting closer in the weeks leading up to this and went on holiday together).
He doesn't want anything else to happen again. He keeps changing his mind as to whether it is never again, or just not in the neat future. He also seems to expect me to want to "be polyam" when he wants a threesome but otherwise not.
I have fallen in love with both my boyfriend and his best friend, and am now struggling with what to do/how to deal with the possibility of not being able to continue the MFM V relationship that I thought was going on.
For context, the best friend has said he doesn't mind either way, but has changed slightly since the intimacy and is often showing more care than my boyfriend. He doesn't know how I feel at this point, but my boyfriend does, and I have been asked not to tell him.
My boyfriend often makes the decisions about what is happening with little input from me (other than to tell him that I wanted it to happen), and no input from the best friend.
Boyfriend currently does not want to talk about it to work out what to do.
Any advice would be appreciated!