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For the record I'm in my 30's and I know "How's tricks?". :)

Hopefully this is a one off and like Spork said, he doesn't multi task well.

I can say from personal experience from the both my dad and grandma having cancer at the same time with chemo, recovery is painfully long and slow.

My dad still have jaw issues and still not fully developed taste buds, and only just now getting his strength back to where it was beforehand. The chemo completely melted his ability to create saliva, and his tastebuds and they said it will take many years for both to return completely!
 
Thanks for the feedback you guys. It's not an expression I use often, it just kind of came out for some reason.

And thanks for reassuring me he might just be bad at multi tasking. I was feeling POed, since he was the one who gave me his number in like his second post to me, and yet when I finally text him, he mostly ignores me and acts stupid about my greeting. "Huh?" "Tricks?" All monosyllabic.

One thing for sure, I'm not going to text him first. Let him text me when he's ready. If I'm not near my phone, that's his tough luck.

And I will stick to common parlance like, how are you. :rolleyes:
 
My life is really boring lately, not much to report. I kind of like the boring though. Pixie has been gone to camp for over 2 weeks. She did come home both weekends for about 36 hours, on her day off. The first Saturday she got home at 11PM and spent Sunday with me, left Monday at 6:30AM. The following weekend she went to her bf's around 10AM on Sunday, getting here at 4PM. Again left early Monday morning.

It's nice to see her for a quick visit during her 3 weeks away. But I am really enjoying the restfulness of my alone time. When she's here I help her do things, go to the stores with her, do her laundry, fill her meds calendar, cook. Listen to her stories. Have sex (that's the best part!)

It's tiring and I need to spend all Monday resting.

I never heard from the "how's tricks?" guy again. So much for that! Weirdo.

An Indian guy on OKC is messaging me... I was frank and told him I've had bad luck dating Asians because of the cultural differences around dating, sex, marriage. He's 41 and has only been living and working in the US for a year. He claims that he gets no pressure to marry anymore at his age. He's avoided marriage up to this point. I don't feel we have a ton in common, except that he likes to take pictures as I do. But I feel a little sorry for him since his OKC profile talks about wanting to make friends. He might be a little lonely. He is very good looking... I'll admit that.

So in other news... My bff that I went to that vacation in Asheville NC with... her daughter was engaged and we spent time on the vacation at her wedding dress fitting? Her wedding was supposed to be in September down in NC. I was asked to do the flowers. I was going to fly down one day, do the flowers the next, go to the wedding the following day, spend the day after that sightseeing, and then the last day flying home.

I'd just been thinking I'd better tell them to find another florist, since I've been so fatigued still, and I don't expect to be a ball of energy by September. In fact, I'd decided not to go at all. So I texted B to tell her that, a couple days after the 4th of July. She'd just been down in NC visiting her daughter and her son who both live down there, for the long weekend.

Turns out her daughter isn't sure marrying her fiance is such a great idea after all! They've been together about 3 years. B always said he's kind of a "bro" type. Straightforward, simple, "vanilla." And her daughter is an herbalist, very spiritual, earth connnected. So they are both having 2nd thoughts. I knew even when I visited, they'd been fighting. So she is going to move out of their house and find a room someplace. Her gardens are at the house though, so I guess she'll have to go over to tend them.

They aren't making any final decisions, just taking time out to think things over.

Anyway, there are more details, but that is the gist. So then I told my friend that my situation of not feeling up to coming to the wedding is now moot. Funny how that worked out!

I've been having a little more energy for finally getting more house projects, decluttering, and cleaning done. And I am still walking daily. I am addicted to it now. I feel my legs are getting a little stronger and I think I've lost an inch or so around my waist.
 
I've got some dating prospects but everything is in a state of flux right now. I feel I'll jinx things if I post them publicly. I'll post if and when something real comes of out of anything.

In other news, Pixi was away for 3 weeks at one camp session. Then she was home for 5 days, then off again for one more week of camp. The week she was here was a whirlwind of activity. She'd brought 8 blankets and a comforter and a quilt to camp, to have extra blankets for the girls in her cabin. I washed all of them, and her sheets and pillowcases and all her clothes. I don't mind doing wash. It's meditative for me. But it was hard on my stupid back pulling wet heavy blankets out of the washer and piling them into the dryer.

Pixi was busy unloading her car, sorting out what she'd need for the next camp session, doing repairs to some equipment, and repacking and reloading her car. We managed to have good sex the first 3 days she was home, that was lovely. She cooked dinner twice too, which was nice.

Then on Friday she was off to camp. My lower back was bothering me some so I rested that day. Saturday I grocery shopped and stupidly carried in 9 heavy bags of groceries all at once. I came down with a terrible 24 hour headache that no meds would touch, from all the over exertion.

Luckily I have started back to the chiropractor finally. I went Monday and the headache subsided. It came back a little yesterday morning but this time meds took care of it. I am looking forward to getting my back to the improved state it was in before the cancer hit and I had to stop chiro.

I hosted my friend K for dinner and a DVRed movie on Tuesday. We had fun. And she vacuumed my carpeted stairs as she often does.

Oh, yesterday was Pixi's 40th birthday! Hard to believe she was a little 32 year old when I met her and now she is all grown up. I went to Savers to find her some gifts of clothing on Tuesday morning. I've been going thrifting as a hobby, for my dish addiction, and a little exercise, since I got done with chemo. I wanted to shop for clothing for her, which is more difficult. Sorting thru so many shirts and dresses is a lot more tiring than just picking a dish off a shelf. But I did it. I found her 4 cute shirts, and a beautiful Coldwater Creek pleated dress (found that in nightgowns!). Then I still felt energetic and looked for shirts for myself! I was in need of a big wardrobe reboot. Looking for shirts for Pixi was easier, she's a perfect 8. But I'm a 2X (curvy gal big boobs and booty), and the 2Xs are all mixed in with the XLs. So you really have to hunt.

I looked and looked. I ended up with 20 shirts to try on! I took them all into the fitting room at once, because, fuck those 6 items only rules. I ended up with 8 adorable shirts that fit perfectly and look great!! It was so fun to find such lovely things. So, that's 12 shirts total for Pixi and me. All of them look brand new. 2 of them still had tags on! One of them was by designer Isaac Mizrahi. Dressing well helps my morale as I heal, so every time I put on a new shirt I will get a boost.

I also found a cute pink Depression glass bowl and a tin retro sign. I had a 30% off coupon for having donated... I got everything for $50! The dress alone would've been $80-145 new. A fitted Mizrahi top goes for $40 new on QVC. Great haul! And I was thrilled I had the energy to do all the hunting! I showed K my haul when she was here and she appreciated them.

Yesterday I forced myself to rest rest rest so I don't have a headache or joint pain from the exertion. I was bored but I had to do it. I feel OK today so it worked.

I need to go to this local gift shop today to get Pixi a few more things... we'd been there in April and there were some things she pointed out that she liked. And stop at Target for birthday cards for Pixi and my son. His birthday is in 2 days. Mine is August 6th. He is coming here on Sunday so we can all go out for a fancy celebratory dinner. For his gifts, beard oil and e-juice for his vape. Plus the dinner. We are going to this nicer seafood restaurant in town. Pixi and I had gone there for the first time before camp started (her idea for something special to do before our celebration). Sundays they have oysters for $1 each (normally $3 each). Son said he's never had raw oysters! He loves mussels and other seafood and raw fish sushi so I'm sure he will love oysters too.
 
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I ended up with 20 shirts to try on! I took them all into the fitting room at once, because, fuck those 6 items only rules. I ended up with 8 adorable shirts that fit perfectly and look great!

Amen. I totally do that too. Because it really doesn't take all that long to try a bunch of things on! It's way worse waiting in the line over again!
 
Remember Punk? He broke up with me just about a year ago when his mom died, and he "lost the romantic feeling."

Well, that made me sad, since it was unexpected and I really care about him. Also, the sex was great, and we had it twice a week for 7 months. It was a shock to my system to lose that, for sure.

Of course, I got diagnosed with the cancer soon after that and kind of lost most of my sex drive for quite a while anyway. Lost my ability to really want to socialise with anyone in any way, pretty much.

I wrote here before, that in April this year, he joined FB, and I noticed, and friend requested him, and he accepted. Since then he's been liking and commenting on my posts, and he's been liking my Instagram posts quite regularly all along. I take tons of pix and post a lot of them there.

Around that time, April, he got a new car and posted about it, so I invited him over to show it off. He came immediately. I didn't ask to see him again, because it bothered me... I still desire him too much. I wasn't sure I could stand being his platonic friend and not be able to touch him.

Well, it seemed silly to just keep liking each others posts and not see each other. I do have a curiosity about whether we could resume our FWB type relationship.

So... a few days ago, he posted some pix from this park on a pond near his house. He goes there a lot for little nature walks and to take pix of landscapes and mushrooms and so on. I liked one of his mushroom pix and said, I wanna go on a mushroom walk with you!

One day later he texted me and invited me. We met there yesterday. It's about 30 mins drive to his area, but I thought I was up for it, and also wanting to have a walk on actual dirt in the actual woods. I've been going nuts missing summer doings, and I really wanted to be near water. It was a gorgeous perfect day, 75 and dry.

Well, it was a very pleasant walk. I took the dog too. We hiked, slowly, for about an hour, talking a lot, looking for shrooms, taking pix, then he spent another 10 minutes chatting with me at my car.

He was in good spirits. Remember, he has bipolar... well, he seemed to be nice and mellow, talking at a normal pace instead of too fast like he sometimes gets. He also asked me questions and listened nicely instead of talking too much. i was glad he was feeling pretty normal. I guess he's finally getting over his grief and (unfounded) guilt around his mom's death.

He's even working, doing renovations on a house with his bff, who has a little contractor business. He showed me a couple pix of the house and the work they'd done, including a nicely tiled hallway. He loves to do tile. It was a creative mosaic.

So, I did want to touch him. A couple times I had to hold myself back from just putting my hand on his back. I didn't want to outright ask if he would be interested in restarting with me. But I did ask if he was seeing anyone. Nope. I told him I wasn't seeing any guys either, though I have been trying a bit.

He's kinda weird about sex. He was such a good enthusiastic lover when we were together, but it just went away when his mom died, and I guess he's fine going without so far. I don't want to come on too strong, but I know he wouldn't initiate... I wonder if he'd respond if I did though?

Anyway, he expressed a desire to come visit, so in a week or two I'll have him over. It was really nice just talking to him, and ogling his good looks, and cracking jokes and stuff. We really do know each other quite well, and I don't hold a grudge that he broke up with me when he was grieving. He did what he had to do.

Today I did a big shopping to complete Pixi's gifts, and to get some things for my son too, plus cards and gift bags and the like. I handled the shopping OK. She is coming home tomorrow. I will have to spend the morning getting the gifts into bags and wrapped and cards signed and all that.
 
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Well, damn, suddenly my OKC dating experience is going to be much more difficult. It seems the ability to see who looked at your page is suddenly gone. I sometimes checked that. I get a lot of looks, maybe 50 a week? I don't know. Sometimes I go and look at profiles of people who have looked at me, who have a high match percentage. Then, they notice I've checked them out, and some of them message me, having seen my interest, and things progress from there.

Now, I have no idea who has looked at me! The only thing to do is wait to be messaged, or message someone first.

Messaging someone first rarely works... some things about men and women remain constant, it seems to me. If a guy doesn't message me first, and I try to initiate, he is either a very shy low self esteem guy, or so busy he really shouldn't even have a profile up.

So now I have less options for finding interested men. Grrr.

I really should join more dating sites or apps. But something holds me back.
 
I'm pretty annoyed by that too. I don't pay so I can't see likes, but I have at least been liking a few more people so that if they are mutual likes they'll pop up.
 
I'm pretty annoyed by that too. I don't pay so I can't see likes, but I have at least been liking a few more people so that if they are mutual likes they'll pop up.

Yeah, I don't pay. I got used to not seeing likes, but now you can't even see who viewed your profile! It's more like blind dating now! When you could see who looked at you, it was kind of like an irl experience of noticing someone checking you out from across the room. And then you could look back. Now that's gone. Ugh.

I guess now the only option is to actually search for matches... And message them. Or wait to be messaged by someone.
 
Isn't the OKC change annoying?
I activated my account for a few days and the "Views" icon disappeared part way through.

The Punk situation is interesting. Take it slow and see what happens.
 
Today is my birthday. After Pixi gets home from her bf's where she spent 2 nights (unusual but fine), we are going to drive north to meet another Pyrex collector who I bought a certain set of dishes from that I've loved and desired a long time. That is my gift to me.

We will be close by my son's house. We are going to pick him up and go to the pond in his neighborhood. It's been cool and rainy this summer mostly, so the water might be too cool to swim, but I am going to try! He suggested canoeing but I don't think I am up to it. So he and Pixi can go out in the canoe while I rest onshore. I just want to be in nature and near water!! I am going to bring sandwiches since it will be late afternoon, so that will be our supper.

Tomorrow Pixi and I will go out for sushi to complete my birthday celebration.

On Friday I had a date. I don't want to say much since it's early days, but it went well. :) We had drinks and were getting along well, so we ordered dinner. Our conversation was so interesting. He's very smart and he's cute. There was sexual tension in the air but we didn't really talk about it. Just kind of got flirty from time to time. Which is great. He kissed me at my car, just 2 small kisses as we planned our next date.

He is coming over here on Wednesday. I told him about our big screen projector TV. We both have a love for movies, old movies. So we will "Netflix and chill" haha. Wink wink nudge nudge
 
Happy Birthday Mags! :) <3 I am so glad for your recent updates that you continue to gain strength, feel well, and have lovely connections with pixie and family/ friends.
Good luck with netflix and chill haha.
 
Happy Birthday :D
What a perfect plan you have to celebrate too - enjoy!!!
 
Yesterday's day at the beach went great! Pixi drove us up north. I got my Pyrex and it's perfect, in even better shape than I expected. Love it.

Pixi gave me present and card before we went out too. She found a lesbian love card at Target, 2 mermaids in a nice woodblock looking print, connecting hands with a heart between them. And she gave me a beautiful vintage looking pin/brooch too. So sweet.

So after that, we started our trip. After getting the dishes, we drove to my son's town, picked him up, and went to the pond. Pixi wasn't up to canoeing after all. She's still in resting mode to get ready to return to her job at camp. But my son didn't mind. Both of them did NOT wear bathing suits and both regretted it. The water was plenty warm enough for swimming as long as you wanted, delicious! After our meal, I got in the water with a noodle and paddled around for about 45 minutes until I felt waterlogged. After a 15 minute rest, I got back and for another 20 minutes or so. It was so great to be bouyant and feeling plenty of energy for all the exercise. I was surprised I felt so great!

While we were eating, my younger daughter called me. She and her hubby both sang me happy birthday and we had a great chat. :) I am sure I will feel good enough to go see them in September, finally. I can't wait to see my 2 little granddaughters again. It was fun to get an update on all their cute ways.

So we were at the pond for 2-3 hours. I got out of the water just before the sun touched the trees. We drove home, watched a little TV and then Pixi gave me some great SEX. OK, dudes, best sex I've had in a year. Pixi was really into it too. Getting back into the kinky stuff!

Earlier in the day I'd also walked the dog. Despite all the walking, swimming and fucking, I felt great when I went to bed, pleasantly tired. And today I feel OK too!!! YAY!

Poly news in my next post.
 
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So, in the morning before Pixi was up, my Facebook happy birthdays were pouring in, like they do.

Finally I got a text from Punk, who hadn't sent a message on FB. He wished me happy birthday. Then I told him I remembered he'd wanted to come visit me and Pixi again soon, but Pixi has been busy resting up and getting caught up at home on chores and stuff, before heading back to camp again this Friday.

Then... well I finally told him I knew he wanted to be friends and see each other regularly again, but what about restarting as FWBs again. Any interest?

He said, no. He said, he's a lonely guy. He has 3 other friends, but would like to remain friends with me and Pixi and my son as well.

I was feeling brave enough to tell him what was on my heart. I think maybe the good date with New Guy gave me courage somehow :rolleyes: :eek: :confused: . I told Punk I hadn't really had time to grieve the end of our relationship as lovers, since I had to leave him alone to grieve his mother's death, and then, I got the cancer and was out of commission socially and sexually for a long time.

So, talking about it, I got all emotional, teary eyed. I said, I've told you I love you, and that hasn't changed. You're smart, fun, entertaining, and sexy af.

I don't understand how his desire for me died overnight, but even if I can't understand it, I have to accept it. I guess it has something to do with how much his mother mistreated him, overstepped his boundaries (and he let her because, codependent). Now he has to keep himself kind of... contained? He'd told me on our walk recently that he doesn't even like his cat to sit on his lap!

I asked if he has any sex drive and he said, meh. Masturbation takes care of what there is of that.

So... we wrapped it up soon after that, kind of prematurely, since I had to get ready to go out. But I am glad I told him. I don't know where we will go from here... Can I learn to let my desire go, get it to fade somehow, and just be platonic friends, as he wants? I have no idea. It feels kind of humiliating to have been rejected as a lover. And now there's still desire on my side, none on his. It's unbalanced.

If I get something going with new guy, or someone else, and am getting enough boy sex, will that help my desire for Punk fade? Maybe?
 
Happy Birthday Mags! :) <3 I am so glad for your recent updates that you continue to gain strength, feel well, and have lovely connections with pixie and family/ friends.
Good luck with netflix and chill haha.

Happy Birthday :D
What a perfect plan you have to celebrate too - enjoy!!!

*high fives Magdlyn*

Also, belated happy birthday!

Happy belated birthday!

Happy belated! :)

Thanks, everyone!
 
Finally a good update. After so many months of first dates that went nowhere, I seem to have finally found a winner. It's only been 2 dates, but they have gone so well, I think it's gonna turn into a thing!

Drinks and great chats on the first date, turned into dinner. Some fun flirting. A couple little kisses at my car. 2nd date at my place for Netflix and chill. We really did watch a movie we'd both been longing to see, Metropolis from 1927, a sci fi fantasy masterpiece. Very beautiful and moving and fast paced.

My date started getting handsy soon after we settled down to watch. (I'd been wondering how that was going to go! ) I liked it but made him stop. It was a long movie though. We were both loving the movie, but he started stroking my body again after another hour or so. I again asked him to wait. lol

As soon as it was over, playtime began, first on the couch, then we move to my bedroom. One session. 2 sessions. He was ready for a 3rd but by that point it was 1:20 in the morning and I was super tired lol My dog gets me up at 6AM! He's a night owl.

So I said, next time, come over earlier! He said, Yes, and I will go for round 3... or 12!

He is nice and dominant sexually and kinkwise, fit, and endowed to boot. But of course, I don't really get attracted to someone if they don't have a good brain, and kindness. And he seems to have those qualities to a good degree.

I've got a live one on my hands. Fingers crossed all systems are go, and we continue to see each other.
 
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