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Spork, I missed your post just above mine til now. I went with your advice anyway, since this guy is more of a Dom. Oddly I know many shy Doms.

Thanks for well wishes, powerpuff.

So I also "liked" him, something I rarely do since okc started requiring you pay to be able to "like." Well, I don't pay. I dunno if this guy does either, but apparently when you both like each other, you get a notification "it's a match, send them a message."

So at some point he must have liked me. Huh! But still no word back. He mentioned his live-in gf in his profile, with a link to her profile, and she seems really cool too, kinky and into bellydancing and whatnot, cute too. Maybe if the guy doesn't respond, I will message her! lol. She's bi... Who knows what could happen?
 
Once again 2 weeks have gone by since I've updated. I guess I don't want to share every detail of my life... it seems too private for a public board.

But life is going on and things are improving after a long painful winter. I'm doing a lot better. I can eat, I can drink wine, I can laugh and listen to music and dance in the kitchen, and go on dates and have sex with my girlfriend!

As for the recent guy who is 99% match and seems so cool, he did write back 3 or so days after my first message. Unfortunately he said he doesn't have the mental or physical bandwidth to date right now, although he said I did seem cool. He said he'd only be up for sporadic conversations, but maybe we could get together for a drink sometime. I wrote back saying I hope he isn't going through some hard illness or other problem, made a little small talk, but then I never got a response. Another dead end.

OKC is just boring these days. So many men with no imaginations, nothing interesting to say on their profiles or in messages.

However, Pixi and I have been going out on dates in the gorgeous spring weather, sightseeing, shopping, eating, and we seem to be resuming a satisfying sexual flow too! YAAAY! We actually had sex 3 nights in a row this week. Thank god. It's so delicious and bonding too. And appropriate for Beltane haha!

Pixi is so happy I am coming back to myself in so many ways. It's been a rough winter for her too, poor kid. I've been so boring. She took the dog for a walk the other day and came back with lilacs for me. So sweet and loving she is.

We are also doing projects on chilly or rainy days, spring cleaning and decluttering, weeding clothes and household stuff and donating, and some indoor gardening. I'm redecorating the living room too. I've also been working on restoring a cute mid century chair, a wooden Paoli armchair. It was a curbside find. I stripped the wood, since the finish was half off, shampooed the orange upholstery on the seat and back, and I'm going to stain it a darker color to set off the orange.

Last night I went out to a pub for the first time in like 9 months! Our friend K's idea, to meet at our favorite brew pub in the next town. Pixi and I met her there. We brought a bucket of chicken and sides from KFC, drank the excellent IPAs, and it was pub trivia night. So fun. We came in 15th out of 19 teams, which wasn't bad considering we were only a team of 3, and most teams had 5 or 6 members.

I started getting tired around 9, but made it til the end of the game at 9:30. K was getting tired too, it wasn't just me. She is a teacher and gets up at 6am.

Pixi's bf found a house to buy finally. He just signed the papers last night. It is so close to our house. Pixi and I were out running errands last weekend and drove by to see it from the outside, since we'd just seen pix on Zillow. It's super big and lovely, gorgeous yard. On a little private dead end street with only 4 other homes. Now that he is so close, and becoming more social bit by bit, maybe I will even meet the guy! Pixi told him about our brew pub and trivia and he sounded interested. Maybe a bunch of us could go, Pixi, me, her bf, Punk, K and my son. We'd be a formidable team, with our diverse interests and ages.

My hair is growing back. I have almost a stylish silver pixie cut now, fashionable by accident. My eyebrows are fully back in, my eyelashes about half grown back. Body hair on arms and legs returning slowly. Still barely any pubes though, again fashionable by accident lol I've been having energy for makeup and also doing scarves on my head in retro style.

I had a Pyrex swap last weekend that was so great. One of our collector group members has a family farm and she hosted us for the first time. It was a perfect day, sunny and almost hot. She had a big yellow striped open tent set up behind her house next to a barn (where she must display the fruit and veggies when they open for business for the summer), which was nice to shade our tables of wares. There were all kinds of picturesque fields and blueberry bushes and apple trees and tulips and magnolias and outbuildings, a couple of horses grazing nearby... everything green and flowering. She also breeds Jack Russell terriers and some of her younger dogs were running around outside. Of course, it was great to see all my girls again, and trade, sell and buy all the pretty dishes. I got a great haul for minimal $$. I wore a colorful scarf on my head, cat's eye sunglasses and a black cardigan with a vintage brooch on the shoulder, leopard leggings and my blingy Skechers, red lipstick. Got lots of compliments on my look, and congrats on feeling better. Lots of hugs. Some of the other ladies dressed retro style too. I'd suggested it, to make things more fun.

So, things are coming along... despite the lack of a boyfriend. Maybe the summer will bring me one... maybe I will ask Punk if he wants to resume benefits. We will see. I have picnics and beach days and lots of other summer fun to look forward to in the meanwhile, and lots of love from pixi and friends.
 
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What a beautiful picture you conjure with your words! I wish I could have seen it with my own eyes. I am so happy to hear that all of this joy is in your life after the hardships you've endured. You rock!!

Here is hoping that the summer brings you lots of fun and plenty of companionship, of flavors both new and familiar.
 
Hi. Read through some of your blog and hope to read more....so much positive energy flows through your life. xxx Sara, John and Phil (V)
 
I haven't posted because I had a relapse of chemo side effects symptoms. I went back to work for one of my families, just one 8 hour day a week, plus the commute. I do child care. In this family the kids are 4, 8 and 11. I mostly just have to keep the 4 year old entertained, and do school pickup for the older kids.

I worked 1 day, then another day the following week. In between jobs, my extreme fatigue came back. I don't think it was from working, since I did that 5 day trip to NC only 6 weeks after chemo ended, all the traveling, and all the sightseeing and lots of interaction with friends. That could've worn me out, and I was a bit tired, but I recovered after a couple days at home!

This current exhaustion is just hanging on and on. I've also been having headaches. I finally called my oncologist, whose nurse told me to go see my primary doc to rule out other things. So yesterday I made the trek to my dr (I still see my Boston dr). The drive is 45 minutes to an hour depending on traffic. I saw a NP and she determined I don't have a virus but sent me for labs for iron levels and other mineral levels, thyroid, and blood sugar.

She is going to call me this morning with the lab results. I was exhausted after the trip to Boston, but I went and got groceries before going home because I felt bad that Pixi has had to do all that kind of work again. I made dinner too. Pushing myself. Today I can just rest rest rest.

I know it can take 6 months on average to recover from chemo. It's been only 3 months so far. Other people take a year or even longer to feel "themselves" again. I am still not sure what is going on in my body? Is it really damaged?? Like, how? Are my organs damaged from the chemo? My hair has grown back, so my follicles are normal again, even hyper busy. But do I have nerve damage, organ damage, or what? I need answers. What specifically is causing such exhaustion and weakness still?

It's frustrating to have gone backwards! I feel so bad for Pixi, I feel like such a bad partner, tired all the time. I lost my sex drive again. I lost energy for my hobbies, for gardening, lost creativity for thinking up ideas for fun dates with Pixi.

I loved being back at work! The fun, the cuteness, the laughter, the fresh air playing outside, the love from the kids, cuddles from the 4 year old, and a bit of extra cash! I didn't even contact the other 2 families I used to work for yet... Ugh.

Cancer sucks, y'all.
 
Big hugs, Mags... hope the fatigue eases off and with it, the frustration.
 
(hug) Mags I hope you recover soon. But these things are just shitty like that. My dad who had throat cancer a while back, 2015 actually, it STILL having chemo affects. He has no saliva, and has to do regular exercises on his jaw or it locks up completely. His taste buds were completely obliterated and had to be regrown like a child. As a result, everything tastes different. Chemo really does suck :( And I'm SO sorry you're dealing in it.

I hope it clears out soon-ish, and you're able to get back on track. <3
 
Cancer sucks. I can understand your need for answers on the exhaustion even though you were told to expect it. I am like that too. When things are bad, explanations help with coping (and I pass time searching for ideas and hacks relentlessly till the problem is solved). Sucks that you are feeling the exhaustion. Hugs to both of you. You're probably over the worst part.

I have heard a doctor say once that an impatient patient is one who is recovering. One who isn't doing good doesn't have the energy to start pushing boundaries and making demands. I think it may be true of you even if it feels shitty. You sound like you'd like to wade in and get this recovery business fixed once and for all. Could it be possible that getting better is making you do more than you have energy for? Take things easy maybe and let any surplus energy go toward healing faster?
 
Thanks for the good wishes, everyone.

I went to my primary medical clinic, saw a nurse practitioner not my own, but she was very nice. Everyone at this clinic is great, which is why I keep going even though it's in Boston.

She spent a lot of time talking with me as well as making sure I didn't have a virus or something. She thinks I just overdid it going back to work... but that doesn't jive with me having gone to North Carolina for 5 days only 6 weeks post my last chemo. I was a little tired after a full 5 days of sightseeing and airplane travel and constant socialising, but wicked exhausted after 1 day of playing with a calm cuddly 4 year old girl? We mostly sat on the couch and read books. I did school pick up for her and her brothers, but the boys are very well behaved, took care of themselves at ages 8 and 11. Hmph.

Well whatever it was, it caused 2 1/2 weeks of me being utterly exhausted and weak. I didn't even change my sheets for 3 weeks.

I didn't want to bother Pixie to drive me to Boston to the clinic, since she's been such a saint and I feel so bad for being such a bad partner. But I should have asked her. Because somehow the tension of driving in and then around the city messed my back up badly and so I had 3 days of pain from that!

I swear sometimes I long for death. Only briefly, but come on! I have lost myself.

Ahem. So.

I had labs done and the following day the NP PMed me on the clinic site. The results were all fine. No thyroid issues, blood sugar fine, iron and other minerals fine. So, it's just that my poor body is still exhausted somehow from the chemo. I need to do "gentle exercise" such as walking, and "push myself a little," but "listen to my body" so I don't overdo! Ugh. I don't know how much is too much or too little. My body wasn't telling me anything when I worked, it told me I overdid days later.

So I texted my friend the mom of the kids and told her the results of the dr visit. I said, I'll let her know when I feel up to working, and just do a 4 hour day instead of 8 hours, and she understood.

The last couple days I felt a little better. Pixie went to her bf's house for 2 nights because of the long Memorial Day weekend. It's nice when she's gone so I don't have to even talk... or help her with a chore she can't manage, help her dress, anything. Just sit around and rest. I've watched a ton of great classic films on TCM. Suddenly Last Summer was by far the best, but many others of various degrees of seriousness, from film noir, to pure Hollywood fluff and song and dance.

I did go to the thrift on Sunday. I donated more crap Pixie is letting go of, and scored some good stuff with the discount card. I was tired just from the 5 minute drive over... and tired walking around the store. When I came out I sat in the car and looked at my phone/FB for 15 mins before I could face the grocery store. It was like the Bataan Death March slogging around in there. And I forgot to get the coffee.

Did I overdo? I guess not. I was OK after a couple hours at home. OKish yesterday. I got laundry done, I changed sheets. I took a shower. I did NOT walk the dog around the block. It's funny when the docs tell me to "walk" for exercise, when my house is such a mess from me being unable to do housework much. If I have energy there are steep cellar stairs to go up and down, vacuuming, projects, gardening, laundry, and then one wants to save a little energy to do a hobby or art project, for a date with one's spouse or to see some friends, for GOD'S sake.

I've had a couple interesting men contact me on OKC, but I feel too tired to be charming or flirtatious, or to even take a sincere interest in their lives, draw them out, etc. I try but I must sound kinda boring lol
 
Dear Mags,

Go easy on yourself! Forgive your body. It will get better at the pace it needs to get better.
 
MeeraReed said:
Dear Mags,

Go easy on yourself! Forgive your body. It will get better at the pace it needs to get better.
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Thanks Meera. It's hard to be patient when I feel so frustrated. I knew winter was going to suck actually doing the chemo, but here it is almost summer and I'm still struggling. All this for a little 1/2" tumor. I wish cancer research would focus on human breast milk, which targets cancer cells without harming healthy normal ones. I knew this 15-20 years ago! I know I saw early research on it back then, but not much has been done since. I know babies that are formula fed are much more prone to cancers as children and adults. And mothers that don't breastfeed are more prone to breast and reproductive cancers. Of course, I breastfed for a total of 10 years, and still got endometrial cancer, but who knows how much worse it might have been if I hadn't breastfed.

In other health news, I guess I overdid somehow. My back is back to hurting. Maybe I carried a too heavy laundry basket up the stairs? I don't fucking know.

Our landlord/landlady brother sister act are finally arranging to have some work done on our house. Our cellar/family room powder room has flooded twice. The first time, our landlord put down Pergo type flooring. Then last December (I think) it flooded again. We need to now use very flimsy toilet paper. Of course, the laminate flooring was ruined. We have had nothing but gross concrete on the floor in there since December (we threw throw rugs over it), and the one wall that got wet in the first flood, the LL did a quick pass at fixing it 4 years ago, but it's all half assed. So now they are finally hiring a contractor to do a proper (I hope) job on both the wall and floor. Don't know specifically what they have in mind. Fingers crossed it's something relatively pretty and durable.

We are also getting a new deck. I think the same contractor is doing both. We have a nice deck off the kitchen, but it's wood and getting a little rotten, so we are getting a composite deck put on. That deck gets hot hot hot in the summer afternoon sun.

We need to clear all the furniture and grill off the deck before work starts on the 5th. I also have a bin of extra Pyrex sitting out there haha. There is a glass topped dining table that comes apart, and just plastic chairs. The grill is just a light charcoal one, or we'd never be able to move it ourselves.
 
I got a call from my friend K as she was driving home from work yesterday afternoon. She always says she will help us anytime we need it, since we put her up for 3 weeks when she first moved up here from the south a few years ago.

So, she was asking if we wanted to play pub trivia again next week. I told her how my health had gone downhill since we last did that. And that I needed help. She agreed right away, skip pub trivia and come here and help me instead.

Ever since we got the (thrifted) recliner for the family room last fall, the small upholstered armchair it replaced has sat in my laundry/Pyrex room. It's really in the way. But it needs to be vacuumed before we try to donate, and vacuuming has been something I just can't do. It's not great for Pixi with her handicaps either...

So K is going to vacuum it and help us get it up the bulkhead stairs, and around the side yard to my SUV. Once I get it to the thrift the guy at the donations door will get it out. I need to make more space down there now especially since the powder room work will be going on. And the carpet had some of its padding soaked near the bathroom door and the washing machine, and that needs replaced too, and the chair is in the way.

Also, I need to spread grub control and ferltiliser on my lawn. It's never been a problem for me to do that once or twice a year, til now. Between my tiredness and my back losing what tone it has achieved, I dare not risk doing it. So K agreed to do that as well. I have already bought 2 bags of the stuff so it will cover the front yard and perhaps one other section. The front especially took a hit last summer in our severe drought, there are some bare patches and I don't want it to get worse. The back yard gets much more shade and is OK.

So, I am glad I asked her to help. She is a super fit strong athlete, these jobs will be child's play for her. :)
 
The day K came to help me, it was pouring rain so she couldn't spread the fertiliser. But she did vacuum the old chair, and we also fixed the areas where the skirt of the chair was coming loose. Folded it and discreetly stapled it back on. She carried the chair to my SUV herself and I donated it a couple days later. Yay, so that's taken care of. I was then able to reorganise my laundry room where I store most of my dish collection. It looks nice, and there is plenty of room for the contractors to get to the bathroom and carpet that need fixing.

K also vacuumed the carpeted stairs from cellar to upstairs, since she couldn't do the yard work. She's so good. We gave her a delicious supper for her troubles.

Work started on the deck. 2 guys replaced the actual decking. It was determined the uprights are in good shape. Just the top railings need to be replaced. That hasn't been done yet, but the decking and stairs are about complete. The job is happening in dribs and drabs since the contractors are behind on all their jobs since we've had such a rainy spring.

One day, they replaced the flooring in the downstairs powder room too. I am OK with the tiles that were chosen. It's nice to have a proper floor in there finally! However, our cheap landlord is not having them redo the wall he semi fixed. Cheap bastard. Nor will he pay to have the whole room repainted. But at least the deck will get done and also be painted or stained and look nice. If I ever get better, I can buy a can of paint and repaint the powder room myself.

Eventually the contractor will also replace the padding under the carpet where it is missing, and get all the edges of the carpet pinned down so it will all be soft and nice and tidy again, too.

So, that's the house renos update. Now on to poly news.

I had one OKC guy interested in me. He was a Dom and it sounded like he wanted the same kind of sex/kink I do, but he went about it all wrong. Before we even met, he was trying to cybersex me, and asking me, would I have sex on the first date? When I refused to cybersex, and wouldn't promise sex on the first date, he had "some scheduling conflicts at work," and didn't properly reschedule our first date. So I let it go... I don't have energy for this shit.

The main poly thing going on in my life these days is Pixie's deepening relationship with her Master. It's really getting stronger. It makes her so happy. He has finalised his purchase of his new house, 10 minutes away. She'd been to see it twice, and this weekend she is at his apartment helping him pack (as well as doing their usual kink activities). She's really becoming quite wife-like to him. It's very sweet.

But now we are in summer. That means she's got 4 1/2 weeks of work at camp coming up. She leaves next Saturday for 3 weeks of the first group. She gets 24 hours a week off and will come home for that, since camp is only 2 hours away. I will be on my own except for friends and family. Then she has one week in July and a long weekend at Labor Day. I will be a little lonely, but I will manage. The main hassle is taking care of our needy old dog. I will have to find energy to walk her once a day. She needs let in and out to her line in the yard multiple times a day. She also needs meds for her medical conditions forced down her throat once a day. Lately Pixie has been doing all her walks and all her medication. So it's a little extra work for me.

I am still not well. Still so tired and drained. I am sleeping OK now, though. I get about 7 solid hours a night, and take a nap almost every day as well. Also my back is bothering me, giving me low back, upper back, neck pain, and headaches. I haven't had energy to start back to the chiropractor, but I have to do it. I will start back after Pixie leaves.

It's hard to be patient with my body's slow healing. It's got to the point I almost forget how energetic I used to be! I wonder if I will ever get better. I understand the average recovery time for someone who had strong chemo like me is 6 months. So that would bring me to August 14, 2 months away. However, of course that is just the average time. I know some people on the message board I read on take a year or even 2 years to recover.

I have a checkup with my oncologist's nurse practitioner next Wednesday. We will see if I get any good advice.
 
The builders came by yesterday. They installed the carpet padding. They did more work on the deck. It is almost done. They will be by next week to finish it up and paint or stain it. I am so looking forward to getting my table and chairs back on it, and the flower boxes too. I am glad this happened because we had let the deck get kind of cluttered with odds and ends. Happened mostly because of my ill health. I donated some stuff and stored other things out in the shed. So it will be all attractive when it's done!

Pixie spent over 24 hours at her Master's last weekend. Packing took so much time and energy they had little energy for kink! But they went out in public for the first time! She got to ride in his sporty groovy Audi. Their relationship has progressed so slowly, but it's really getting there. He even hugged her right out in public in the parking lot of his building. She is aware she is "socialising" him. He is bringing benefits to her emotional health and physical health as well. The bondage they do has given her more flexibility in her arms than she has had since she was a preschooler! It's quite wonderful. It's like physical therapy.

She wanted to take me on a nice date before she has to leave for camp. I wasn't feeling 100% great yesterday, but I made an effort and we went to one of the fancier restaurants in our town. There are only 2 of this caliber. We went to the other one twice over the years we've lived here, and once I took Punk there for his birthday, but we'd never tried this other one, which specialises in seafood. We just can't afford fine dining more than once or twice a year.

It was lovely. Nice decor, and cool contemporary sculptures. There was a fiber optic abstract jellyfish thing that changed colors gradually that I particularly liked. There were 8 kinds of oysters on the menu, so we got 12 to share. Yum yum yummy! We also each got an entree. I didn't feel like alcohol so I just had iced tea (which savings in $ made up for my oysters haha). Pixie had a strawberry basil Margarita. I had a sip and it was great.

Then some delicious dark coffee. It poured rain while we were there. We had a booth by a window with a vine draped pergola just outside. It made a lovely view of the weather. The summer light lingered so we could see the storm, though it was past 8:00. The rain had slowed by the time our coffee was drunk so we didn't get soaked getting back to the car.

I wore a new dress I'd found at the thrift, a black caftan with some tie dyed areas and a silver thread embellished neckline. I felt pretty in it. Pixie was cute in a striped tunic, with the humid weather curling her long auburn hair.

I was pretty tired when we got home but it was well worth it.

I've had a bit more energy this week. Sunday I felt really good, almost normal. I just treasure that. I have walked the dog the past 3 days in a row, which is a new record. I hope it helps strengthen me, now that I can even contemplate actually doing it. I've been walking at stores of course, for months, but I have a shopping cart to give me stability. But now I can walk unsupported, even up the hill on the other side of the block. Luckily my dog is old and fine with walking slowly. And she loves to stop and sniff, so I can let her do that any time I need a short breather.

All along people have told me they love how I look with the very short hair I ended up with from the chemo. I do feel I looked OK too, but it wasn't my CHOICE to have hair that short. But now it's growing in nicely. Still very short for a woman... but I can't get enough of running my fingers thru the like 2 inches I've got on top.
 
Weird question... Does your hair feel softer since it's been growing back? I know that I've had a couple of relatives who lost hair due to chemo, and told me that when it grew back it was soft as could be, and they loved that. Just curious.
 
I suggest hiring a dog walker to take your old dog out once a day. That way you can save your energy for letting the dog in and out and medications. I've had elderly dogs with medical conditions - and I will again (Tiny Dog is currently in healthy middle age). They do take time and energy. Hopefully the cost for once a day while misspixi is away is doable.
 
Spork said:
Weird question... Does your hair feel softer since it's been growing back? I know that I've had a couple of relatives who lost hair due to chemo, and told me that when it grew back it was soft as could be, and they loved that. Just curious.
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My hair has always been soft and nice, my hairdresser compliments me it on me every time she sees me, so no change. I have a lot more cowlicks than before now! My follicles are freaking out.

opalescent said:
I suggest hiring a dog walker to take your old dog out once a day. That way you can save your energy for letting the dog in and out and medications. I've had elderly dogs with medical conditions - and I will again (Tiny Dog is currently in healthy middle age). They do take time and energy. Hopefully the cost for once a day while miss pixi is away is doable.
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Thanks for the suggestion, and it's a good one. But my doctors can't insist enough that I walk! It's supposed to build my strength. I need to WORK at rebuilding strength, it won't just happen.

So I went to the oncologist yesterday for a scheduled checkup. The NP examined me and talked to me. I told her how very tired I am. She finally admitted it can take "a year" from the end of chemo to recover. This didn't come as a surprise, since I'd done my own research on it. But they had withheld that information from me. Grrr. I guess they want you to be optimistic about recovery at first. Also, everyone responds differently to chemo, even on the same drugs. So, some might sail through it, others may struggle a long time.

Pixi is almost ready to leave. I found out today that she is spending tonight at her Master's. She says she told me that "three times," but if she did, I didn't understand it. So that came as a bit of a shock. I don't mind that she's going though. Once I got used to the idea. He just had moves move his final big furniture and boxes into his new house today, so it would be sweet for them to spend his first night there together. So, she'll spend tonight there and leave for camp from there tomorrow morning.
 
Pixi came back briefly on Saturday before heading to camp, since another package of arrows had arrived while she was at her Master's. We had a nice bunch of hugs and I made her some coffee for the road. She was here about 15 minutes and then headed out.

I won't lie, the peace and quiet of Saturday and Sunday was lovely. What with her getting her gear ready for camp, plus her gardening and decluttering projects, and running back and forth to her Master's, and having the builders here, I've not had the rest I need. So so nice to just be quiet and sit and do simple chores or errands at my own pace. Even the dog has been much much calmer and less whiny. She hasn't seemed to be in much pain from her arthritis, she's not whining, and I've been slacking off on her lung meds, but yet, she is not coughing up phlegm at all! I think she gets worn out from Pixi running around the house with her hobbies, up and down the stairs, up late at night. Now we are just a couple of peaceful old ladies together. The dog is 15 years old.

So, I am enjoying my break from Pixi. I like alone time. It's one reason I am good with poly. Even though I am not dating now, Pixi being gone to her M's gives me breaks. And the practice at alone time prepares me for her being gone most of the summer.

OK, but I did socialise this week. My son came on Monday. He borrowed his dad's car and drove down. He came at 2pm and left at 10pm. We had lovely chats and cooked together, a delicious lunch as well as dinner, and did dishes together, and watched 2 movies I'd DVRed, and he spread the grub control/fertiliser on the lawn. Yay! That job has been hanging over my head for months!

And then on Tuesday, K was free. I didn't have to set her to doing any work for me for once! She was having her car worked on in the afternoon so requested an early visit. She arrived at 10. At 11 we had brunch, home made soup (I made English style mulligatawny the day before. It's one of my specialities), and sandwiches. It had rained in the morning, and thunderstorms were predicted for later in the afternoon, but we had a window of no rain...so we went to one of my town parks with our dogs. It has a big flat track edged by woods, soccer fields, etc. My first walk in a park or on a trail since my surgery last September! Can you believe it!? I did great. We walked about half an hour, which was twice as long as my recent walks in my neighborhood. So. As tired and in pain as I still am, this is real progress.

Pixi has texted me the last 2 nights. The first night she was sitting in her car. Last night she went to the counselor's hang out spot/cabin/office. There was general conversation and card games going on there, so she didn't talk as much. But the main thing is, this "movie star" who is trans and in a rather popular TV show is there again this summer and is Pixi's helper at the archery classes, every day! She reads Hollywood scripts in her downtime. So cool.

The other thing not so good is, the girls in Pixi's cabin, 13 and 14 year olds, are not getting along. Seems they all have decided to be rude and loud like "reality TV" stars, instead of making friends like girl campers should! Ugh. Pixi has had a hell of a time with them and needed help from the camp directors. Kids these days! Manners and empathy are right out of style. Yuck.
 
In poly news for me...

So, the last 2 or 3 weeks I have been sporadically chatting with yet another new guy on OKC. We miss each other sometimes, so didn't have another proper chat until yesterday.

He seems smart and educated and is a cute ginger, my weakness...

He had given me his phone number right away but I told him I'd rather chat on OKC for a while first.

So yesterday's morning chat went well. We finally talked about relationship goals and our shared interest in movies, and whatnot. His sense of humor also came through. He's 43 and out of a 10 year relationship. He wants a live in gf someday, but for now, wants something regular but not on the full relationship escalator. Sounds good to me!

So, the chat went well. I felt good about it and told him I'd text him. He was off to work. I texted him soon after we stopped chatting online.

At 6pm I was napping when he texted back. At 8pm I texted him. I said, "How's tricks?"

He said, "Huh?"

I said, "How are you? You've never heard, how's tricks?"

He didn't respond. 10 mins or so later I said, "Hey you OK? Did I wake you or something?"

So he goes, "Tricks?"

I said, "It's an expression!"

He said, "Educate me."

I said, "Well you could google it. I just did. It's an expression that means, how are you?"

Then he goes, "OK. I'm [doing something for work] right now. Let me catch up with you later, OK? I'm doing great."

I said (feeling confused and miffed),"OK sorry to bother."

He goes, "No, no, it's OK I'm just distracted."

HMPH!! The man is 43. I asked Pixi if she knew the expression when she texted me. Of course she's heard of it (and she's 40). I know it's an old fashioned expression, but surely even if you've never heard it, you can get the gist from context.

Any want to give me some feedback on this one?:confused:
 
Sounds to me like the sort of human who struggles to mentally multitask. I'm imagining a guy watching TV and a woman trying to talk to him, and he's all monosyllabic grunts as he pretends to pay her any attention, but has no idea what she's saying.

Of course in that situation a man might indicate he was really trying to focus on the TV and could you please wait until later, or he might stop and give her his full attention, or he might pretend to pay attention but not really...he has to choose how to respond to that.

So, he was doing something maybe a little more important than watching the game (work stuff) and did not have mental bandwidth for a proper conversation in that moment.

As for "how's tricks?" I have never heard anyone say that, but I could intuit the meaning from context probably. Or I'd Google it. I'm 38, so not that much younger than him...and have lived in various parts of the US, and I've never heard or read anyone use that in modern speech. It's a cute phrase though. I do not dislike it.

Advice is to let any annoyance at this interchange disperse on the wind. Try again at conversation, hopefully when he can give you his full attention.

I'm happy to hear that you and the dog are getting some nice relaxation in!
 
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