Nobody's Fool

I have a pre-existing "anything that lives in water" allergy, so no fish unfortunately! Which is sad, because I used to love fish.

The bison I sourced was at the farmer's market, which is straight from the farm and is $17/lb of ground. Ouch! Still, the ground stuff stretches pretty far and it is very tasty. None of the meat I'm allowed to eat is new to me, since I tend to eat a fair bit of game-type meats anyways. It's pretty common where I live to half half a deer or whatever in your freezer. Unfortunately, it's not deer season, or I'd have all the meat I could stand! I did get some frozen stuff from a few family members that were feeling bad for me, which was a nice break. Ain't nothing wrong with free deer and moose steaks!

My top three foods I want to reintroduce are: soy, eggs, gluten. Even being able to eat corn would make my life a lot easier, if wheat is no bueno.

Anywho.

Finally back at home, since we decided to stay the weekend at the hotel. Good thing too: it was over 30C all weekend. Blergh! Today the air conditioning guys showed up at my apartment and replaced the dumb thing, but with the wrong unit! It doesn't fit and I couldn't get the filter back in when I took it out to inspect it. I called them and left a message. I'm still using the unit while it's here, though! Their mistake should not mean I have to live in this heat with no AC. An elderly lady even died in her apartment on Saturday due to heat stroke. Very sad!

Tails, Jaeger and I had made plans to go up to the beach on Saturday, since my pool is shallow and gets too warm to be refreshing when it's this hot, and the lake is always freezing cold. It was also on-and-off storming all weekend, so we were sure we'd be the only ones there. It just so happens that my poly friend called and asked if I wanted to go to the beach with her and her boyfriend and metamour. So, with some quick texting I arranged that all of us would meet up at the beach together!

I mostly had fun. The two groups got along well for the most part (more on that later), and I'd brought some silly pool toys for us to play with. Watching Tails try and wrassle a 6 foot inflatable orca into submission was priceless. We built a gigantic sandcastle together, then took turns playing Godzilla and destroying it. Jaeger showed his thoughtful side: he'd taken my list of food restrictions to a local crunchy-hippie-type nutrition shop and found some snacks I could actually eat! He didn't want me possibly hurting myself on food I'm not supposed to eat, and he knew that everyone would be bringing cookies and chips and pop, etc. He found a few things, including- get this- ginger snap cookies! They weren't much like ginger snaps (my favourite cookie ever) but they were close enough that I got the point of what they were trying to do. He also found these dried salt-and-pepper snap pea things that were a reasonable stand-in for chips. That man is so good to me :D

We played, we swam, we fought over who got to ride the orca. Tails and I, as redheads, got sunburned. I just got a little burned on my chest and one shoulder where I apparently kept missing putting the sunblock, but Tails was pretty red across his back. I kept harping on him about the sunblock, but he is an adult and if he says "in a minute" and that minute ends up being an hour, well, I'm not the one who is going to have to sleep on a sunburned back. Or, you know, get skin cancer at 40. I did notice today that the sun has done it's thing and encouraged my freckles to reproduce from their regular million to their summertime population of approximately...well, just all of me, basically. I'm one giant freckle now, I think. At a distance I look tanned. Close enough!

My friends' guy seems quiet. He and my friend spent most of the time on the beach, though we did take a walk all together to look for shells. The metamour, though... well. We won't be developing any kind of friendship.

Here's the thing. I am an average looking lady. If I try really hard- lipstick and nice clothes and curl my hair- I can be hot, in a "girl's got HIPS" kind of way. Pinup couture is my friend, but my body will never understand the concept of "thigh gap". My guys both out-attractive me in basically every way. Jaeger's got that giant-muscley-behemoth thing going on, and Tails looks like a lean mean running machine, which he is. I mean, maybe Tails loses some points with some (backwards) people for being a ginger, but as a ginger I have zero complaints. But yes, both my guys are smokin' hawt, just in different ways. I am very lucky!

My friend's metamour is gorgeous, just absolutely beautiful: tall, blonde curly hair, and she is almost all thigh gap. I want to paint her portrait because she is just that damn stunning. She was wearing this itty bitty string bikini deal, and totally rocked it. Anyways, she took a shine to Jaeger, which is cool- I mean, he's awesome, people should like him. But... she took too much of a shine to him for everyone's comfort. As soon as we showed up she was all over him. At first I just thought, meh, flirtation, whatevs. Didn't bother me. She's hot, he's hot, makes sense. As the day wore on, though, she got more and more handsy and I started to get mad. It felt inappropriate to me. I mean, everyone there was in a poly relationship, but poly doesn't mean available and she knew nothing about how our relationship worked. She never asked for any info, either.

Jaeger doesn't appreciates casual touching or PDA, unless he's given permission and as far as I can tell only Tails and I have that permission. No matter what he did she was at him. She even came up behind him while he was sitting on the beach and kind of draped herself over him. He used his forefinger and thumb to remove her hands, like he'd found a dead fish resting on his chest, but she laughed like he was playing. I'm not sure what her deal was. I sent my friend a "what the hell??" look and she just rolled her eyes, whatever that means. Jaeger tried to be polite- "I'm not comfortable with touching strangers", etc, but she would just laugh and say "oh, you don't really mind!" or give Bambi eyes and say "I'm just playing!". It was awful. I didn't know what to do. If it had been me I would have just said fuck off and be done with it, but Jaeger is far too polite to go tell someone to go fuck themselves. He told me while we were on our way to the concession stand (sweet potato fries I could eat, yay!) that he didn't want to do any more than he was, because he didn't want to hurt her feelings or make things awkward for my friend. While I appreciate his concern for my friends, he could show a little concern for himself, too! He seemed unsure that his discomfort was even acceptable. It was like he thought that not wanting a beautiful woman all over him was weird. Pssffft.

Tails and I were watching this, and both of us were getting angrier and angrier. Finally near the end of the day she grabbed his hand in both of hers and brought it up between her beasts while talking about something with him. Jaeger was standing with his shoulders and face turned away in classic "please stop!" posture, and it just snapped something inside me to see him like that. Her behaviour was unacceptable, and I was just DONE. So I marched right up her, grabbed her hand and flung it away. I pushed my way between her and Jaeger while I could feel Tails coming up to us. I stared her dead in the eyes and said "Back off, he doesn't want it".

She laughed and fluffed her hair and backed up, which was good because I was totally prepared to go full honey badger on her ass. I. Had. Had. Enough. Tails stood next to me with his arms crossed (I think he was trying to look intimidating). She got this sour look on her face and spat, "Well, someone has jealousy issues!" and flounced away. Thank all the little organisms in the ocean that Tails grabbed my elbow because- I shit you not- I jerked after her like I was going to do something about her pretty face. Which is absolutely not like me in any way. I've never hit anyone my entire life. I was so angry. Due to my past, I have additional issues with lack of consent and that whole situation was exactly the kind of thing to set me off.

Jaeger and Tails and I took off down the beach for a bit after that. Tails and I were pretty upset, and Jaeger was embarrassed and mad at me for "putting him in that position", which I took to mean "coming to his rescue". Tails argued that it was the Ramora's (his name for the meta) behaviour that had put all of us in this situation. Jaeger didn't have much to say about that.

For the last hour or so the two groups were pretty separate, which is for the best I think. If the lady can't control her behaviour better than that, then good riddance! My friend called to apologize after we all got home, but I don't think it's her duty to apologize for her meta's behaviour. She is a grown adult: she can apologize for her own self.

So, we had fun, but there were also drama llamas in attendance. Ugh.
 
God, that was so inappropriate of her! But it's funny Jaeger thought he didn't have a right to ask her to back off. If a man was after a woman like that, it would be considered sexual harassment.
 
I know! I still get angry when I think about it.

I think Jaeger might believe- just a little bit- in a harmful double standard that men can't be sexually harassed by women. I mean, if you look at a lot of comedies- take "Horrible Bosses" for example- the idea of a man being harassed by a woman is portrayed as silly and hilarious, and if the man objects he is razzed by his friends instead of supported.

As far as I am concerned, however, "do not touch me" transcends gender. If someone doesn't want you touching them, don't touch them. Done. End of discussion.
 
Wednesday I woke up feeling kind of blah. Just tired and kind of vaguely nauseous. Nothing too bad. Yesterday I woke up with a raging strep infection. AGAIN. This is my fourth strep throat incident in about a year.

The one before this was brutal: the walk-in clinic doctor I went to see took an in-clinic swab that came back negative for strep, but (having had strep many times before) I insisted that a culture & sensitivity be sent away to a lab: thank the government for free health care! However, the doctor would not prescribe me antibiotics until the C&S came back. Now, I know penicillin resistant strains are super bad no-no, and prophylactic antibiotics are also super bad no-no, but... I had all the symptoms. It was textbook. But nope, no meds! Take Tylenol. Well, 48 hours later I was hospitalized because my fever was out of control and I was delirious. My roommate was freaked because I kept talking about vines growing up the walls. I was in the hospital for three days on IV antibiotics and fluids. It was so bad the back of my tongue and throat were bleeding, but I couldn't swallow, so it felt like I was drowning in blood all the time. The last day of my stay I got a call from the walk-in clinic saying it WAS strep and for me to come and pick up my meds! Thanks, Doc, but I'd be dead by now if I'd waited for you. Have I mentioned that I am brutally claustrophiobic? IV lines tying me down and tiny hotel rooms are NOT my friends. It took almost 10 days for me to get back to work, and almost two months to fully recover.

So, this time, when I woke up to my tonsils singing "Burning Ring of Fire", I panicked. Called my own doctor and begged for an appointment, was able to get in the same day, and got the antibiotics the same day too! Even though the in-house swab still came back negative. My doctor said that since I'd had strep confirmed three times already this year, well, I should know what it felt like! She is a smart lady. According to my doctor the only way to stop the never-ending cycle of step I am in, is to chop my tonsils off. I say: good riddance! My tonsils are obvious defective, and I have enough defective parts not to weigh myself down with extras. Do your job, or GTFO.

So, the only thing worse than strep? Having strep and having all your favourite comfort-foods banned. No ice cream, Popsicles, or chicken soup for me. I did cheat- on my doctors recommendation- and bought a bunch of Gatorade for yesterday and today. It tastes like someone tried to make fruit punch Kool-Aid with dirty dish water, but whatever: if it will help, I will drink it!

Tails wanted to come by and play nursemaid, but I warned him to stay away: I don't want to make him and Jaeger sick, too!
 
I just had a very disagreeable discussion with the supervisor of the science department I work with. I was sick on Friday, so obviously begged off going to the super fancy dinner to avoid infecting people. Apparently this was not acceptable behaviour. She got on my case about fulfilling the requirements of my position. I got on her case about expecting me to show up to a crowed dinner party while still contagious. I'm a biologist, yo, don't tell me that "it would have been fine". I know exactly how well I could have infected that large group of people. By the end of the conversation, neither of us was happy. Oh well.

Another strike against this weekend: I've been thinking about adding another cat to my home for the past little while. My cat Zazzy is extremely cat-friendly. She goes on cat play dates with several families in my apartment building. If she doesn't get at least one cat play date a week or so she starts moping around and getting into even more trouble than she usually does. My cousin was looking to rehome her big beautiful beast of a black cat named Bagheera. He has stayed with Zaz and I while his people were on vacation a few times and he and Zaz get along great. It seemed like a perfect solution! I called her up, and she said she'd drop him off on Monday. I was so excited, I went out yesterday late and picked up new cat supplies so Bagheera would have his own cat tree, litterbox, toys, etc. However, this morning my cousin called and said Bagheera went to some friend of a roommate's brother kind of person. I was so disappointed.

Zazzy meanwhile, is extremely pleased with her new extra large cat tree. I don't think she has even sniffed at her old tree since I put the new one together this morning. At least someone is happy!

I called Jaeger to talk about it, and he was upset for me. He said he would be happy to go with me to the local cat shelter. I just bet he would: we'd probably end up leaving with like 97 cats. That man loves cats. I'm kind of ambivalent about going to the shelter, even though I know right now they are giving cats away for free, because they are so very full. I know the right thing would be to adopt a cat in need, but... I just was really excited for Bagheera. I feel sad, and I don't want to go to the shelter sad. That's no way to start a new 10-20 year relationship. If I could, I'd take one of the kittens, or the Mama Cat, the guys have been fostering but they are all spoken for already.

This whole weekend has been kind of a bust. I'm feeling out of sorts and cranky. It just feels like its one thing after another right now. At least my strep symptoms have abated.
 
Glad you're feeling better physically, but that really sucks about Bagheera! I totally understand.

That's super ignorant of your boss wanting you to come to a company dinner sick with strep, sheesh!
 
Thanks, Magdlyn, you're a sweetheart! I'm still sad about Bagheera, but I think next Thursday I will go down to the shelter and see if I can find that spark in another cat's eyes that lets me know they are mine. As much as I go into getting a new pet with lots of research, planning and forethought, it's that spark that gets me every time. I don't know what it is, but all my pets have had that. Even the lizards. It feels a little like falling in love, actually. That bolt of connection. Heh, and here you see the noble Scientist, speaking about things she can neither touch nor see. I still feel it, though.

I am feeling about a thousand percent better than yesterday. Good enough to even go on a date night with Tails to a coffee shop where his favourite local band was playing, since I am also no longer contagious. It wasn't my kind of music, but I enjoyed spending time with him anyways.

Everywhere we go, Tails knows everyone. Within a few minutes we were surrounded by a group of his admirers. I love watching him interact with people. He lights up like he does no where else. He is beautiful all the time, but there is a special shine when he is "on" that's utterly irresistible. These people were acquaintances of his, and since he is very much out to his community there was no awkwardness about him holding my hand and drawing little designs across the back, or draping his arm across my shoulders while someone asked him why Jaeger hadn't come, too. I am not much into PDA, but I know Tails craves it and it makes me happy to make him so very happy. I also know he would stop immediately if I asked him too, which helps my claustrophobic tendencies.

Tails seems to enjoy demonstrating who "belongs" to him in public. I can tell where someone falls in Tails' affection- dislike, acquaintance, friend, family, lover, etc- by how much he touches them. He is his own emotional dowsing rod. It's a bit of a thrill, having his hands on me all the time: not because I necessarily enjoy being touched constantly, but because it's such a clear demonstration of his level of affection for me. I know he cares for me, and sometimes it's nice to bask in it. It's also kind of thrilling to have this beautiful man surrounded by a bunch of groupies, and he only has eyes for me. It's dumb and juvenile, especially since if he did have eyes for someone else I can't imagine that it would bother me much... but somehow it thrills my heart that when I left for the bathroom, I glanced back and he'd been watching my ass as I walked away. There were about ten people vying for his undivided attention, but it was me he watched. Me who his hands were on all night, in my hair, on my neck, playing with the hem of my shirt.

Bah. I should probably be disgusted with myself, but the night felt so warm and glow-y that I am choosing not to. I had a wonderful time, and that is that.

It was also new for me to be more or less openly poly in public. I mean, Jaeger wasn't there, but it was quite clear that everyone knew who I was to Tails, at least. It was a small shock when he introduced me as his girlfriend to a coupe people- we have never labeled each other as such... well, at least I haven't: what the guys do when I'm not there I'm sure I don't know. I don't really care for the term "girlfriend" (or boyfriend, for that matter) because it sounds juvenile to me, but there isn't a suitable alternative so I guess it will have to do. Tails was surprised at my (apparently obvious) surprise, and in a very Tails move looked down at me in exaggerated shock, saying "What, you didn't know?! I sent you a note." That man makes me laugh!

I guess I could have chosen to be mad: we've never discussed how we'd like to be introduced to people. But I find I just don't care. It makes him so happy to introduce me as his girlfriend. He was all puffed up about it, which was pretty adorable. It didn't feel like he was showing me off, so much as...it's hard to explain. Like he was just so gosh darned happy that I was there he couldn't wait for everyone else to know I was there so they could be happy, too. Which is silly: these people don't know me and they have no reason to be happy I'm there. Instead of coming across cloying or oppressive, Tails managed to tweak all my "awww, adorable!" buttons somehow. Which was nice, because I was able to sit back and just enjoy all his very earnest attention instead of worrying like I usually would.

It was surprisingly relaxing.

I also discovered today that my new birth control apparently causes shark week to arrive a few days early. That explains why I have been feeling overwhelmed and like life is just basically terrible, and why my last post reads like I probably wrote it crying into a bowl of ice cream (just crying into it, not eating it, since I can't eat it anyways). Ain't hormones grand! It also messed up my plans for tonight, because while hormones make me morose and anxious, they also make me unreasonably aroused so I was looking forward to hot sexy times with Tails after our date. Unfortunately hot sex and shark week is mutually exclusive for me (tender! ouch!.. also clean up it a bitch). So when we came back to my place we just cuddled. His arm makes for a reasonable hot water bottle on my aching lower belly. Tails: every woman who suffers cramps needs at least one!
 
I'm glad you're feeling better, Feather and that you had such an awesome night with Tails! I hope you find just the right kitty on Thursday. I'm sorry about Bagheera :(
 
I am glad you let yourself feel the yumminess of the evening.

BTW, you are the second person I've read here who used the term "shark week" to mean your period. I thought the other member had made it up. So, is this a thing now? I don't think I like it. Just wondering how and why people started using it.
 
nycindie said:
I am glad you let yourself feel the yumminess of the evening.

BTW, you are the second person I've read here who used the term "shark week" to mean your period. I thought the other member had made it up. So, is this a thing now? I don't think I like it. Just wondering how and why people started using it.
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It's probably related to Discovery Channel's 'Shark Week' television programming where they have a week full of, yup, shows about sharks. It's quite the big deal. I have friends who dedicate time that week to watch the shows.

As for using it to refer to one's period, not sure when that came about but Discovery Channel has showing some version of Shark Week since 1988. I haven't heard anyone use it until the last few years.
 
I think it's because blood attracts sharks, and for some women, cramps can feel like they are being attacked by a shark.

My coworkers and I (team of females) refer to it as looking at changing insurance companies (because Aunt Flo = Flo from Progressive, and we have a coworker named Flo so it was confusing. So now we are looking at changing our insurance company each month.)
 
Haha, well of course I know about the show on Discovery! Just wondering how the hell the name became used for menstruating. I guess the blood in the water connection makes sense. I was thinking something along the lines of being moody and angry like a vicious shark and I didn't like that stereotype.

Flo from Progressive - I didn't even know that character from those commercials has a name. But yeah, calling it "Aunt Flo" (for "flow") goes way back. Changing insurance companies - that's cute!

A long time ago they used to use the term "falling off the roof" which I always thought was really stupid. When I first heard that one, back in the late 70s, I was working as a placement counselor in a temp agency and I noticed that a temp had called in sick and another counselor had written on her file, "Fell off the roof, couldn't go to work." I freaked out and asked him about it, all upset - "She fell off the roof?!! Is she okay?!!" And he, being a much older man than I, became very embarrassed and bashful, saying "No, no, she... fell... off... the roof." He looked like he wanted to die because I wasn't getting it. An older woman called from across the room, "That means she had her period!" I looked at them both like they were crazy and just walked away.

Among my friends, it was always just called a period. In my family, we always said "my friend is here." I believe that growing up in a household of women who called it our friend is a major reason why none of us ever had cramps or mood swings. It was just a brief inconvenience every month. Outlook can really affect a lot. Of course, it was problematic in another way - since I never had bothersome symptoms, I would forget it was coming and suddenly find myself bleeding through my pants
 
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I used to call it "redweek," but the proliferation of "shark week" among peers made me switch for the sake of concise communication.
 
I just call it Blowjob Week here, since I am not a huge fan of making a mess with penetrative sex while on my period. :)
 
My sisters and I have called it shark week since we watched "Jaws" as teenagers. During the scene where the girl is swimming with her legs danging, one of my sisters said "Hope she's not on her period" and we thought it was the funniest thing ever. Teenagers, you know? Since then, it was always shark week. When Discovery's "Shark Week" became really poplar...well, it just got even better! Especially since at the time I was working on a shark research project. I have no problem calling it menstruation, period, whatever. "Shark week" is something I think is funny, and damned if I'm not going to take what little enjoyment I can find when I'm feeling gross, bloated, and sore lol!

One of my cousins calls it bear baiting, referring to the wive's tale that bears are attracted to menstruating women. As in:

Me: Wanna go to the beach?
Her: Ugh, no. I'm baiting bears this week. The last thing I want is to put on a bathing suit.
 
It's two in the morning and I'm sitting on my couch. It's nearly 30 degrees in my apartment but somehow the bedroom still felt cold. Tails is sleeping, finally. He is exhausted but keeps making small kicked-dog noises. I couldn't listen any more and came out to the living room, leaving Mama Cat cuddled up to his chest. It's like she knows his heart is gone.

I'm not even sure why I am writing this, now. Maybe it's because it's two in the morning and everything is easier when it's quiet and dark. Easier. That isn't the right word, but it seems that all I have are the wrong ones.

Tails took the call. He is listed as next of kin.

He's gone.
He's gone.
The words match, they make a sentence, but there is no comprehension.

Instead I sit here and listen to the traffic outside. One of my hands is resting on my phone. I think I'm waiting for it to buzz: a late-night text. It wont.

I can hear Tails crying. I go. Maybe he will let me hold him this time.
 
What?? I am so sorry! This is such a shock. My thoughts are with you, FF.
 
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