mountaingirl
Active member
Lol I know the title is super dramatic but that's how I'm feeling. Today I woke up and J (husband) was texting P(boyfriend)’s sister a playlist that he made for her, and they text all the time. (context: P’s sister dated a really good friend of J’s and that’s how they know each other. They’re not together anymore but J said that he considers her to be like his sister.) When things between me and P were being figured out, P called his sister crying, looking to just vent to someone and talk about his feelings for me and how difficult transitioning to a different type of relationship was at the time for all 3 of us. She literally thought I was pregnant when he called crying (lol) if that says anything about what she thinks about me. This was a year ago btw but I’m pretty sure it influenced her view of me; she told me P never gets emotional like that so she was worried.
Now we’re all about to hang out a music festival and while I’m looking forward to getting time to spend around her/get to know her, she really had never been nice to me or ever taken the time to get to know me (either as J or P’s partner; I've known her for >3 years now) and I’ve reached out before. Idk just feels like best case scenario she doesn’t give a shit about me and worst case she wishes I wasn’t around. This kind of shit frustrates me because although we all live far from home, I’ve always wanted some kind of connection to P’s family. I am aware that it won’t look like a mono relationship, but even if his family just asked about me the way mine does about him it would be cool (and I haven't had to be out to my family for that to happen!). Another thing to consider is that P is not super close with his family, so I’m not even sure we would be close regardless. I don’t know, just feeling lots of emotions right now.
I talked to P and J about this. J’s take seems to be that I haven’t had enough time to hang out with P’s sister, so of course I don’t feel close with her. P just said “honestly I think she’s totally indifferent” which is better than her hating me but definitely not ideal. I don’t feel great about being a satellite in P’s life (at least regarding family) because of the nature of our relationship. It doesn't help that J has a relationship with P's sister; I kinda just feel like the odd man out but can't reach out to her without making it weird since we're not "out". I think part of my frustration also comes from the fact that P called his sibling and also his dad when he was upset as this was all happening a year ago, but now that everything is going well he is not even remotely interested in starting a conversation with his family/old friends. I can't force someone to come out, and I haven't done that with my family either, but I have been clear with my parents and siblings that P is living with me indefinitely and is very important to me.
Now we’re all about to hang out a music festival and while I’m looking forward to getting time to spend around her/get to know her, she really had never been nice to me or ever taken the time to get to know me (either as J or P’s partner; I've known her for >3 years now) and I’ve reached out before. Idk just feels like best case scenario she doesn’t give a shit about me and worst case she wishes I wasn’t around. This kind of shit frustrates me because although we all live far from home, I’ve always wanted some kind of connection to P’s family. I am aware that it won’t look like a mono relationship, but even if his family just asked about me the way mine does about him it would be cool (and I haven't had to be out to my family for that to happen!). Another thing to consider is that P is not super close with his family, so I’m not even sure we would be close regardless. I don’t know, just feeling lots of emotions right now.
I talked to P and J about this. J’s take seems to be that I haven’t had enough time to hang out with P’s sister, so of course I don’t feel close with her. P just said “honestly I think she’s totally indifferent” which is better than her hating me but definitely not ideal. I don’t feel great about being a satellite in P’s life (at least regarding family) because of the nature of our relationship. It doesn't help that J has a relationship with P's sister; I kinda just feel like the odd man out but can't reach out to her without making it weird since we're not "out". I think part of my frustration also comes from the fact that P called his sibling and also his dad when he was upset as this was all happening a year ago, but now that everything is going well he is not even remotely interested in starting a conversation with his family/old friends. I can't force someone to come out, and I haven't done that with my family either, but I have been clear with my parents and siblings that P is living with me indefinitely and is very important to me.
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