Personal Summaries

[jmk]

jmk=jen

name is jen, and my partner of 15 years kc and i are deep into the open relationship, we just haven't branched out much. he is happy with his two girls, but i am finding it difficult to find like minded people who interest me. i am 42, bi and am interested in meeting someone interested in a secondary relationship, i have found my primary.

 

[jmk]

intro pt. 2

ok, so persons wish to have more information in my introduction. i will try to oblige. we are jen and kc, partners for 17 years and in an open relationship for 12. we started as a monogamous couple, then kc introduced the idea of an open relationship. he is more social, more open and has been able to find 2 long term girlfriends that he is happy with. jen (i) on the other hand, is not so open, is not so sharing and has not been "out" there looking for someone actively. i am interested in finding people who have the same mindset so that, if i become friendly with someone, i can find my "other".

kc would prefer i start with a woman, as he has never had to experience the jealousy of having to share with another man, but i cannot dictate who will interest me, nor should i have to limit myself if we are truly open. i just would like to meet more people than the few that i know that are into poly relationships so that i have a wider base to "choose" from. we need to find someone who is understanding of the lifestyle and is not looking for their primary relationship in me, unless they wish to be a second primary. kc and i have 2 teenaged girls and that relationship remains my core, and he is involved in my "other" choices. if he doesn't get along with my other, the relationship won't work.

hopefully, this gives more information and insight on what we are looking for. hope to make many new friends on this forum, and thank you fayerweather for pointing me in this direction.

 

[atxcouple76]

Hi! My husband and I have been married for 12 years (well 1 month shy of 12 years). We are both 36 and we live in the area of Austin, Texas. We have two children together, two dogs, a home, vehicles, and all the things a stable family has. But we feel like we are missing something. We have always had a strong, close marriage. We are the best of friends, a great team, and wonderful lovers. So there is nothing missing between us...in general. About a year ago we started teasing about having a sister wife. I would tell him no way, unless we had a 3 person relationship in all areas. We didn't know that there were relationships in this community that allowed for all of us to be together, in a relationship (call it poly, a triad, or sister wives...whatever you wish). Last month my husband and I started talking seriously about having a marriage that included a friend and lover for both of us. We began our search for a special woman a few days later.

It has been about a month since we first started looking. We have learned a few things in the last 30 days...

~There are different kinds of poly relationships.
~We do not want an open relationship with our special friend. We would like an exclusive one.
~People will take advantage of you or feed you a line of do-do, if you are not careful.
~We do not think there is one term or relationship name that describes what we are looking for. I think our relationship would be called a "sister-wife-triad."
~It is HARD work finding someone that the same kind of relationship that we are seeking. It may take a long time, we may get discouraged, but we have to continue if we are serious.
~We are open to the relationship turning into a live in relationship, if it feels right.
~We love each other more and more every day and feel so lucky to have what we have.

This brings us to the here and now. We would love to connect with women interested in the type of relationship we seek. We have no idea where to find what I see many refer to as the "unicorn." We would also like to connect with other couples, on a friendly basis, to gain support and have friends that understand us. I felt so encouraged yesterday when I found this site. I am just hoping that my husband and I are able to connect with similar people in our area. Let the journey continue!!!!

~RMS & DMS

 

[undefinable]

Howdy Poly People!

Hey everyone,
I'm Tim, and i am new to these forums.

I am married to a beautiful woman, we have been together for eight years. We live together in southern Alberta. We have no children, nor any plans on having any.

I am 30, white, confident, and mature. I love to read, I ride motocross, and i work in the oilfield service industry. My wife and I travel wherever and whenever we can. I am learning spanish.

I am very analytical, so i try to voice my feelings to compensate for this. I am confident, but try to avoid being cocky. I hate the word "NO". I love to grow, change, and adapt. I could never work in an office, doing 9 to 5. Even saying it sounds like a prison sentence.

I have been in love with three different women in my life, and still hold a deep affection for all three.
My wife, first and foremost, is many ways my exact opposite. I believe the differences between us compliment our own strengths, and mitigate our weaknesses. She is the love of my life.
My closest, and longest, friend "D" has never let me get away with anything. The first to call me on my bullshit, and the first to snap me back to the real world when i need it.
Finally, "J" and i will forever be moving in different directions, but i love her just the same. She has never judged me, never thought less of me for my actions, and always supported me. A rare friend indeed.
I wouldnt give up any of these women for anything.

I hate labels, but i understand the need some have for them. I have never been romantically or sexually attracted to a man, but i wont count out the possibility. I believe it just hasnt happened yet.

I am a true blooded, chest thumping, maple syrup loving, national anthem singing Canadian, and proud to call this wonderful country home. Except i cant stand hockey.

All the best to you and yours,
Tim

 

[Nadya]

Personal Summary

Hi,

I am new to this forum and want to give you all a short summary of who I am.

I am female and identify myself as pansexual, even though my experience of both romantic and sexual relationships has been so far only with males. I have been poly-minded ever since I started to have the courage to think with my own little brain, and have never had a monogamous relationship. What made my "poly-awakening" rather late is my very strict and judgemental Christian upbringing. You know, the attitude "sex belongs only to a marriage and a marriage is only between an man and a woman".

At the moment I have two relationships, and feel very polysaturated with them, as both relationships are filled with love and mutual respect. The journey to this point has included open relationships, some one-night stands, a few short-term relationships and so on. Swinging never was an attractive option for me.

So now I have these two wonderful people in my life, and they are:
Husband - bisexual poly male, married and living together for a few years now, and
Lover - straight mono male, dated for a shortish time, still the full NRE going on (and love it!), he lives about a hundred miles away.

I decided to register to this forum to be able to share my happiness with like-minded people, and to get support when in the future there undoubtedly will be struggles in life. Am not very open with my life situation in everyday life, so it is a relief to discuss these things online.

-Nadya-

 

[Malfunktions]

Poly stuck in rural no-where

Hey Lovlies,
My name is Mallory and I have always been interested in the poly lifestyle even though I didn't really know it had a name until recently. I am 27 and Bi. My real dream is to be nicely nestled in a MFM triad but as C is very straight and admits he would be jealous if there was another man involved then I'm sticking to finding a new girlfriend. The sacrifices we make for the ones we love, right? I remember back to before C when I almost had it too... But alas it's not for everyone and a party had to not so gracefully decline.
C and I have been together for 6 years, he is 7 years older than I, and have finally recently discussed our true feelings on the subject other than the more than occasional mention of a threesome.
We live in a very rural area in New Brunswick, Canada and it's really difficult being poly here I am finding. Not only is the scene not so "hip" here but his family, I believe, would have a collective heart attack if they found out. I'm not so concerned with my family as I've always been the odd one and have always strived to do what I pleased and what made me happy.
5 years ago, after three months of dating, C and I got pregnant. Enter Bowen He's our wonderfully energetic and charismatic 4 1/2 year old adult. Since then we've also welcomed Chase, our 6 month old clown. He's gonna be a great comedian someday.
My area has a huge gay community as we are listed as the #2 (I think) biggest gay population per capital so there has to be some more polys out there to meet they're just hiding I'm choosing to believe.

Anyways, if anyone if from around me, or if anyone wants a chat I'm a stay at home, and am almost always available

 

[bigkellyna]

I'm Rob, straight and the most enduring of my relationship experience morphed into largely a vanilla couple, but it did not start that way…. I met her at a university gang bang and in time we became a couple. In the beginning we had a steady stream (pun intended) of male roommates for her convenience so she could focus on her studies Her sexual energy transformed to academic and business pursuits over the years, our commitment survived, but our love and sex life slowly slipped away...
I enjoy gardening, cooking, reading, writing, and conversation as well as biking and hiking again after my weight loss surgery. Although I have long identified as polyandrous, I am single and have not had a lasting partner/relationship, for a few years. I have had romantic, even poly experiences, but these were generally of the crash and burn type.
I am particularly interested in a polyandrous MFM relationship where preferably, M’s are straight but not jealous or homophobic… I am also interested to live at least part time in warmer climes and I am generally open to mobility…
I'm currently single, straight and available.

 

[bigkellyna]

Hey Lovlies,
My name is Mallory and I have always been interested in the poly lifestyle even though I didn't really know it had a name until recently. I am 27 and Bi. My real dream is to be nicely nestled in a MFM triad but as C is very straight and admits he would be jealous if there was another man involved then I'm sticking to finding a new girlfriend. The sacrifices we make for the ones we love, right? I remember back to before C when I almost had it too... But alas it's not for everyone and a party had to not so gracefully decline.
C and I have been together for 6 years, he is 7 years older than I, and have finally recently discussed our true feelings on the subject other than the more than occasional mention of a threesome.
We live in a very rural area in New Brunswick, Canada and it's really difficult being poly here I am finding. Not only is the scene not so "hip" here but his family, I believe, would have a collective heart attack if they found out. I'm not so concerned with my family as I've always been the odd one and have always strived to do what I pleased and what made me happy.
5 years ago, after three months of dating, C and I got pregnant. Enter Bowen He's our wonderfully energetic and charismatic 4 1/2 year old adult. Since then we've also welcomed Chase, our 6 month old clown. He's gonna be a great comedian someday.
My area has a huge gay community as we are listed as the #2 (I think) biggest gay population per capital so there has to be some more polys out there to meet they're just hiding I'm choosing to believe.

Anyways, if anyone if from around me, or if anyone wants a chat I'm a stay at home, and am almost always available

We have the same MFM ideal... I would love to share some experiences over the years... if only jealousy didn't exist... i am so lucky that my passion for the lifestyle is far greater... if you are interested, my name is Rob.

 

[nerdy1138]

Hi I'm Nerdy,

I've been mono all my life and have been in a mono relationship with my previously poly boyfriend for the past year. A few months ago he told me a friend of his had asked him to share a room (intimately) at an event they were both going to in a few months.

i'm currently dealing with the emotions that go along with my partner wanting to be with another person. There are some trust issues that don't deal with him (as I was previously cheated on) and others that do deal with him as I feel like this communication with this other person was done behind my back and it continues to go on while I'm making my decisions if I'm okay with this as well as some other small nuances.

I had originally thought I wanted to be in a poly/mono relationship but now I'm thinking about other people I could start relationships with but don't know if thats because I feel hurt by the situation or because its something I'm willing to explore.

This is something I'm willing to explore but haven't. It's all so new to me.

 

[Opensteve]

Melbourne, Australia - poly couple saying hi

Hi all. Steve and Lareesa just saying hi to all the community. We gave been living the lifestyle for 10 years. Mainly good, but sometimes the 3rd parties can't deal with your poly marriage.

 

[Opensteve]

Melbourne, Australia - poly couple saying hi

Hi all. Steve and Lareesa just saying hi to all the community. We gave been living the lifestyle for 10 years. Mainly good, but sometimes the 3rd parties can't deal with your poly marriage.

 

[nycindie]

Hmm, just noticed something in this thread...

new to poly lifestyle . . .

Hi my husband and i are new to the lifestyle.

"X" introduced me to the Poly lifestyle . . .

. . . still trying to understand the dynamics of the poly lifestyle . . .

I'm very new to the poly amorous lifestyle.

Just joined this site and am new to the polyamorous lifestyle.

I finally decided to try and reach out to others living that lifestyle . . .

we need to find someone who is understanding of the lifestyle . . .

. . . I have always been interested in the poly lifestyle . . .

. . . my passion for the lifestyle is far greater . . .

. . . been living the lifestyle for 10 years.

I know if I go back further than just the last two pages, I will find more such references. So, maybe you will all find this thread illuminating:

What is this "lifestyle" you mention?

Hope this helps!

 

[Sorsha]

I'll go by Sorsha for now. I'm 39, i've been married for almost 20 years to my honey. We met in college. We got married very young (do the math) and had our kids young. When we met he was much more skilled than I was. I am a preachers daughter. I dated a lot but was a virgin when we met, talk about opening my eyes! Needless to say i'm still a little shy when it comes to sexual things. He has a much more voracious appetite than I do. I recently graduated with my teaching degree but as most people know the education system is in the tank right now so i'm working in retail hell and trying to make the best of it. Hubby is in IT.

We have a very good marriage, ups and downs, highs and lows but overall very strong. We talk constantly and make time for each others needs and make sure that we do things separately as well as together. Our marriage is based on humor and communication.

A few years ago hubby was talking to a woman via on online game. I had talked to her too and thought nothing of it. The joke in our marriage is that he needed a gf so he'd leave me alone! I don't know how the subject of me talking to her husband came up but one day I started talking to him, we hit it off and things just went from there. THey lived over 6 hours away so it was long distance but for 9 months we made it work as best we could. I fell hard for my boyfriend and he for me. Unfortunately things didn't work out oh my husbands side, there wasn't the communication and connection that needed to be there so things unraveled. I said i'd never do it again but as time passed hubby and I talked about how we missed the connection and the excitement that the other couple gave us.

Ok enough rambling. I consider myself straight but I did fool around with the woman in our relationship. I felt it was very natural and comfortable and I enjoyed it. I don't want to label myself any further than that. Hubby is straight but we did enjoy time as a foursome and had a great time.

Thats me in a nutshell

 

[liveoutloud]

Namaste

Hello..just a quick intro
I am donna and 53 and single. i have been interested in the polyamory life for a few years but havent really pursued it. i have several friends who are of this inclination and I enjoy the friendship.
I do a lot of world traveling for womens health care and will be moving to india in June for a year. I am in alabama right now.
I am looking forward to more conversations about this and figure out if this is a path i can pursue.


donna

 

[jeszebella]

Newish to Poly in NM

I've had a lot of fun reading through the forum notes, especially when I realized how many are based in NM, where I hail from.

Background, I realized a number of years ago, that 1 man, 1 woman, wasn't what I was looking for, but the relationship I was in at the time, didn't have the security to accept a more open status.

Now, I'm single, and have been for quite a while. Long enough to sit down and figure out what I want at least .

I'm a single mom so I'll admit straight up that I'm suspicious, and a little crazy protective about my kids. At the same time, I would love to have strong male influences in my children's life to show them it's possible and yes, good men exist.

Shockingly enough in this day and age, I've never had a female encounter, and have never wanted one. I am strictly dickly as they say, and perfectly ok with that.

I am hopefully going to find a relationship with 2 men, preferably 2 men either in a relationship or 2 men who are friends well enough to be able to share a relationship with a singular woman. They can be either straight or bi, I'm not going to be picky on that, just that they're a pair.

So cheers to all in the hopes of finding happiness with what they are looking for themselves.

 

[Inyourendo]

I'm S (33), been married to N (34) for almost.5 years. I've been poly since a teen and had a somewhat open relationship with my first husband (J)of 11 years (he wanted a polyfi triad, I did not. I wanted to each date separate. We ad a v for awhile, he bring the hinge but it almost destroyed our marriage as he was not respecting my boundaries. We got back together after over a year and we had casual relationships with others.

When I got with N I made it clear what I wanted and we had some boundaries. No dating people from work and he had to get approval before sleeping with someone. We had a ton of fun mostly casual fwb stuff. We attempted a quad but they weren't the right couple. N is seeing multiple women right now, I'm not seeing anyone though. I date both men and women but haven't met anyone in a long time that I liked and I haven't been in the mood lol N had a triad relationship for a short time with his ex gf before they before they broke things off to move out of state. He knew after that he wasn't interested in a nono relationship.

Some things about me: I breastfeed, cloth diaper, had 2 unassisted homebirths, homeschool, we live a pretty frugal and low impact life. I'm starting school this Summer to get a social work degree. N is passionate about politics, art, comics, and RPGs. Basically were a couple of crunchy geeks lol. We are also both atheists and vegetarian. I'm originally from OR and N is from Chicago

 

[leelee22]

I'm Leelee

Hi, I'm Leelee. Single (divorced) Canadian female in my early 40s. Joined this site just the day before I broke up with BF who was in an open relationship, but I wouldn't describe that relationship as a poly relationship. His GF and I never met, she didn't want to meet me, and she forbade him from having a relationship with me beyond sex. So, there was no "amory" in that poly, so to speak.

But anyway, that relationship got me thinking about poly relationships in general. I was married for a long time to a man who had many affairs, and I found that all the lying he did really eroded my feelings for him. The end result is that I accept that monogamy is not a happy state for many people... and since I'm not a very jealous person, i think I could accept a partner who has other partners, but not a partner whose whole life is a lie. Ethical non-monogamy really appeals to me. I personally tend to be monogamous in my relationships, but I could see myself as one of the arms of a FMF vee, as long as the male was willing to genuinely invest emotional energy in both relationships.

I have also found I'm attracted to masculine/top-type bisexual men... so I could see myself someday in a MMF type vee relationship.

Anyway, very new to this and just learning. Nice to meet you.

 

[Jamiex3]

hi, im jamie. im 30 and live in the deep south (usa). my parter el and i are just getting our feet wet with this poly thing with a wonderful friend that is becoming something more than that.

we have identified ourselves as 'intellectually poly' for some years, but have never wanted to act on it just to say we did... but that 'right' person has finally come into our lives!

we are in the process of figuring life out with three adults, two houses, five kids between us and a sudden need to retreat back into the closet.

 

[LittlePet]

New to the site, not to polyamory

First off, the cliff notes... bi/poly/kinky... not terribly geeky... quasi-geeky? Maybe?

I've been openly polyamorous for five years now, almost six, with a slight leaning toward Relational Anarchy. However, I don't currently have any romantic partners.

I'm gender fluid and bi, though I tend to be attracted to masculinity regardless of biological sex. I'm a mother, an 80's nostalgia geek, animal welfare advocate, and mystic, though I take an Ignostic stance during theological debate... not the same as Agnostic.

I help out some friends with their small jewelry and craft boutique in downtown Ellicott City from time to time. It's something I enjoy doing and it brings in a little extra cash.

I love animals, sometimes more than people, lol. I've been training dogs for seventeen years now. I am a certified veterinary assistant. I also do my own grooming. I have one dog (Simon), an amelanistic corn snake (Lucius), and a banded California king snake (Regulus).

 

[RiverRose]

Hi!

I'm RiverRose, otherwise known as Kim. My husband and I live in Wales in the UK, and we have a little boy of 7 months. We've known each other for 9 years, and been married for 2 and a half of those years. We were at university when we met. Being both a bit geeky we bonded over such things as Lord of the Rings (book and film) and Star Trek/Star Wars.

We were always mono until now. Until this year I was not even aware that such a thing as polyamory even existed. I thought that I would be with just one person forever. Then in the latter half of 2011, I developed a crush on a friend. I find it hard to be anything but honest, and so I found myself confessing this crush to first my husband and then the man in question. They both instantly assumed that I was confessing because I wanted to cheat with this man. I absolutely did not intend for any such thing to happen, I just tend to wear my heart on my sleeve in matters of romantic love.

I hoped that this crush would just fade, but to my horror it started to deepen. Eventually I opened up to my husband about it. Then I had an epiphany and realised that you can love more than one person, and that it's not wrong to do so as long as you are honest and take into account everyone's feelings on the matter. When I discovered the existence of polyamory I stopped feeling guilty, and accepted that I am just a very emotional person who has a lot of love to give. Sadly the man I have feelings for will never consider me as he thinks I am ugly. Besides he appears to be mono, and has a girlfriend now. I shouldn't really be so sad because as a person he comes across as rather selfish and thoughtless. I get the feeling that he thinks I'm silly, and he has tended to brush my efforts at friendship aside. I even made similar efforts towards his girlfriend to show him that I didn't resent her, but she brushed them aside too (don't think she knows about the crush).

Recently, my husband and I joined a site to search for people to have experiences with. However, it's rather sex based. Not really appropriate when it's the emotional connections (both romantic and platonic) that I'm really searching for. My husband is Aspergers, and so he has trouble understanding my need for connections with other people. He is very supportive though, and is happy for us to explore polyamory and see if it suits us.

Anyway, nice to meet you all!

Kim.