Poly Island

Poly Island


  • Total voters
    11

Remi

New member
I have some really strong beliefs that lead me to believe that something like a "poly island" is necessary.

Doesn't have to actually be an island, but just a location where the culture is well known and flourishing, as if this online community existed physically in the real world. Sound crazy? I think it sounds doable.

Does anyone else think such a thing would be a good idea? How about a terrible idea?

Personally, I feel that being trained from a young age to love only one person is kind of the source of the discomfort when people start to transition into poly relationships.

I'd even go so far as to say that the idea that mono relationships are the only option is actively making the world a more dismal place. The thought that a potentially good relationship can be shut down in it's tracks because "i really like another human already" is super iffy to me.

The world just seems like a better place when love is allowed to flow practically and with limited restrictions. When we place limits on who we can love and why we can love we break other people and it's a chain that continues on infinitely.

I believe we exist to evolve, all of that evolution and progress is in service of enhancing our ability to love. Not necessarily romantic love, but romantic love as well.

I just want to help people to get out of their own way. Witnessing all this tragedy is breaking my heart and I don't think finding my own happiness will be enough. I want everyone to be empowered to find it.

We all have different needs at different times and carrying around the expectation that one person will be able to give us what we need just seems silly.

That said, it's not my intention to step on any toes, it's just my opinion, which is subject to change on an evidence basis.

So what's the path to legitimacy actually look like?

I think we need to be on the map, literally.

Current mood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVpJGGQHSqc
 
I think I would prefer to change society rather than merely separate from it. I agree it might be easier to just separate, but how has that worked for other groups? Separating from society makes it easier for society to dismiss them.

For example, POC. Not being accepted by white society has forced them to be segregated for hundreds of years. After all this time look how they still struggle.

Or the lbgtq+ community. Straight society has forced gay people to adopt a "lifestyle". Imagine that. How many people say they live a "straight lifestyle"? Yet homosexuals have had to develop a lifestyle to live separately. It's more comfortable for them, but slowed acceptance from "mainstream" society ( read as heterosexual society).

Closer to home, look at the Mormons. They attempted to separate themselves. It only made them easier to pick out and persecute. It got so bad for them they had to drop the whole polygamy doctrine.

My conclusion is the only way for groups who do not fit into the white heterosexual monogamous "norm" is to permeate society. After all, a society is all of us anyways.
 
While I like the idea of a society that is "pro-poly"... I think it should just be that the current Western society "normal" should be done away with and replaced with a "poly is normal" society (as well as nudity is normal, and BDSM is normal, et cetera... basically remove all societal taboos... and replace them with the "as long as everyone involved is willing" standard).


So... I voted "Something else...".
 
Agree with Kevin - we already have a number of poly-normative cities in the US. Portland, Seattle and NYC all having thriving poly communities with porous boundaries of acceptance and understanding. There's no need to faction off for protection and freedom in these cities because the wider culture is already so accepting of many types of diversity, preference for number of lovers being just one. Why not just move closer to one of these already existing, thriving metropoles of social variation?
 
Last edited:
I live in a part of Massachusetts called Metro West, because it's the western suburbs of Boston. There are a lot of poly people in the area. I've been poly dating around here since the beginning of 2009.

I even attempted to date a guy who approached me a couple years ago. He lives in a community in a town just 5 or so miles away from me, that is like a grown up "commune," composed of poly people and their families. There are private homes with shared recreational spaces, and a sort of clubhouse where there are some optional communal meals. I think he said you're required to pitch in and help cook a group meal once a month. I can't remember exactly.

So, all the people there are either poly, or their partners are. The people are all ages, from newborns to in their 70s, as he told me. It sounded pretty cool, and I was looking forward to being invited to one of those meals.

But sadly, one of his 2 life partners turned out to not be cool with him finding one more gf. He kinda forgot to check, because his other gf was fine with it. Damn, the dude was super into me too, haha. We had 2 dates and then the gf pulled the plug. I wish I would've gotten to see the community.

Apparently there was some resistance in the town when the group bought the parcel of land and started building. The townsfolk were afraid they were a bunch of sickos. But after a while, since of course, they caused no trouble and there were no hints of huge drug fueled orgies or crimes, the town calmed down.

There's a very large community of senior citizens in a town in Florida that is known for its sexual hijinks. I don't think it's polyamory, but more like a lot of parties and swinging amongst the empty nesters.

As time goes on, I think these kinds of ways of relating will become more mainstream. Key is mainstreaming.

I am non-binary genderwise (her/she), and pansexual and poly. I don't go to bars. I'm an old, but even when I was younger I was not much into bars for hooking up. I like a brew pub or a wine tasting now and then, but not every week... But anyway...

I recently heard a bit of an interview with a gay man on NPR who said gay bars are dying out because gay men and lesbians don't need private clubhouses so much anymore. They can just go to "bars" or "clubs" meant for "people" with their friends or partners, and no one really gives a crap what gender anyone is with.
 
There's a very large community of senior citizens in a town in Florida that is known for its sexual hijinks. I don't think it's polyamory, but more like a lot of parties and swinging amongst the empty nesters.

Caliente Resorts. It's a non-AANR swinger-friendly nudist club.
 
Caliente Resorts. It's a non-AANR swinger-friendly nudist club.

No, the one I read about wasn't nudist. And it wasn't a "resort," just like, a big condo complex like you see all over in Florida. It just happens to have a very sexy vibe.
 
No, the one I read about wasn't nudist. And it wasn't a "resort," just like, a big condo complex like you see all over in Florida. It just happens to have a very sexy vibe.


Okay. Caliente is like a village, with shops and restaurants, and has lots of retired people and such, and has the sexy vibe you speak of. I should have said "clothing optional" instead of "nudist", but I was running low on alphabet when I wrote that.
 
I bet I know the mixup. Land O' Lakes FL, where Caliente is (and it's definitely swingers - https://calienteresorts.com) is just up the road - maybe 30 min? from The Villages... which is ... a very odd kind of place, full of retirees Living Their Best Life. A zillion gated communities that are all connected with golf cart paths with drunk 80 year olds careening down them at 6:00pm after happy hour, and then there's... this: https://www.buzzfeed.com/likethebre...nights-in-the-worlds-largest-rowdiest-retirem

(My in-laws used to live basically between the two before moving near me; I've been to a number of the places mentioned in the buzzfeed article. )
 
I should have realized that if they're both in Florida, of course they will be full of rich retired people...
 
Last edited:
I bet I know the mixup. Land O' Lakes FL, where Caliente is (and it's definitely swingers - https://calienteresorts.com) is just up the road - maybe 30 min? from The Villages... which is ... a very odd kind of place, full of retirees Living Their Best Life. A zillion gated communities that are all connected with golf cart paths with drunk 80 year olds careening down them at 6:00pm after happy hour, and then there's... this: https://www.buzzfeed.com/likethebre...nights-in-the-worlds-largest-rowdiest-retirem

(My in-laws used to live basically between the two before moving near me; I've been to a number of the places mentioned in the buzzfeed article. )

The Villages is where that trumpanzee was yelling "white power". Doesn't seem all that friendly lol.
 
Oh it's pretty hellish in a lot of ways and I'm really glad to never have to go back there. I was just always perpetually amused by it in a lot of ways. (Then again, this was back in, say, 2004-2013; it was a LOT easier to be amused by things pre 2016...)
 
I recently heard a bit of an interview with a gay man on NPR who said gay bars are dying out because gay men and lesbians don't need private clubhouses so much anymore. They can just go to "bars" or "clubs" meant for "people" with their friends or partners, and no one really gives a crap what gender anyone is with.
Same reason that Sirius/XM did away with its OutQ channel. A dedicated gay channel just isn't necessary anymore because gay has become part of average, everyday life. Andy Cohen programs a channel, but it's not gay-specific.
 
The Villages is where that trumpanzee was yelling "white power". Doesn't seem all that friendly lol.

My parents retired to Florida and lived in a condo complex on a golf course for many years. My mom was very progressive. She said the west coast of Florida was more conservative because mid-Westerners tended to retire there, and the east coast was more progressive because more people from the New York area retired there. So you'd be more likely to see Trumpistas on the Gulf coast.

Anyway. We're kind of off topic.
 
My parents retired to Florida and lived in a condo complex on a golf course for many years. My mom was very progressive. She said the west coast of Florida was more conservative because mid-Westerners tended to retire there, and the east coast was more progressive because more people from the New York area retired there. So you'd be more likely to see Trumpistas on the Gulf coast.

Anyway. We're kind of off topic.
I think you'd be surprised how many New Yorkers down here are racist republicans.
 
I think you'd be surprised how many New Yorkers down here are racist republicans.
Of course, my mom didn't know everyone. She was comparing Naples to Miami, and going by the tones of their respective newspapers.
 
Integration now! Segregation never!

I'm 100% against poly separatism. Some of my best friends are monogamous.

If you want to surround yourself with polyfolk, plenty of communes out there where it's the rule not the exception. Plus you'll get to become a steward of the environment, so that's a plus.
 
Back
Top