Polysecure Workbook Assistance


New member
I'm currently working on reading Polysecure and doing the workbook. I am wondering if anyone has done the workbook. I am stumped on ideas how to do Exercise 2.6 (page 36). This exercise is asking for some creativity and I lack insight on how to go about it. I am going to attach a photo of that page (update: coudn't attach photo, but attached a file. I don't see it on here) and if you could offer some ideas what you did or would do for this exercise in terms of how to organize, color, draw and assist my creative juices going in my head. :unsure:
Hello deafpolyamist,

I have not done the workbook, to be honest I haven't read the book, but I hear good things about it. I'm a slow reader and I have a huge backlog of books. I can't find the file you attached, maybe you could try that again?

Kevin T.
I’ll assist:

I'd break each element down and contemplate them alone.

Output, input, porosity, rigidity, changes, protection w/connection or connection w/protection...

Maybe try to describe some adjectives. Maybe then take that to your meditation cushion and see what each of those feels like.

Or maybe take a page out of Leslie Nielson's playbook and do this: Link
Thanks for the help, Blaincorrous.

I have to admit I would have considerable difficulty doing this exercise. I am a "literal person" and on the autistic spectrum. My boundaries don't "look like" anything. I don't even have much in the way of boundaries, I guess physical violence and the threat thereof is one hard limit for me.

Not sure what to suggest. Choose a color for each type of boundary? A hard limit around physical violence would be colored red. Communication boundaries could be blue. Or you could do like I would do and skip the exercise, LOL.

Kevin T.
Or you could do like I would do and skip the exercise
One sympathizes. I'd have trouble, too. I'd be more likely to draw shapes rather than colors. Maybe some have a spiky boundary that keeps people away. Maybe they have a labyrinthine boundary that represents their demisexuality. Maybe another has a brick wall. Maybe another has a timed safe. I think I like metaphors in this case rather than pictures or colors.
Your personal boundaries can be about...
  • your body/physical spaces/home/etc
  • your emotions, emotional bandwidth
  • your time and energy
  • what you will and will not talk about, how you talk (ex: not into cussing)
  • sex and how you will/will not share it
  • Your money, property, belongings
  • Your values/beliefs.
  • What you will and will not do at work.
  • Whatever else you decide -- ex: how people can treat your dog
In terms of drawing, this article uses different types of lines to illustrate
  • healthy boundaries
  • no boundaries
  • porous boundaries
  • rigid boundaries

Really it's up to you how you want to draw it. I think the point of the exercise is to make you aware of your personal boundaries and if they are the same for all people or different.

Also, perhaps the circles of intimacy. Not everyone is as close to you as others. Like...
  • People at work? They will never see me in my pajamas.
  • Family? Close friends I might go on vacation with? Might see me in holiday or company pajamas.
  • People who live in this house? They are gonna see my in my ratty pajamas and sometimes only half on because I walk around in my underwear.

I would have trouble doing that exercise as written as i cannot relate to it at all….but i could put it into words using what Galagirl said