Valleydoll
New member
Hello!
I'm sorry if this is covered elsewhere, new to this also so I don't know the link, sorry
My husband has always been aroused with the idea of me seeing other men. About a year and a half ago we explored this, I met someone, casual sex became meeting for coffees and connecting quite quickly and we are now in a loving relationship. I see my boyfriend once every couple of weeks because he lives over an hours drive away. Part of the agreement initially when we were seeking someone was that they did not live too close. My husband has been involved sexually with us on occasion and always insists I have sex with him when I return home from seeing my boyfriend.
That's sort of the background. My husband knows I've fallen for my boyfriend but gets off on the sex. I have been trying to learn more about polyamory but can, unfortunately, be the jealous type However, I've been trying to do some reading to get over this, him seeking out other people was brought up, I felt it was only fair to let him explore thinking that he would talk me through everything (that he'd met someone he was interested in etc) before making any decisions because he was aware of my uncertainty, that the geographical distance would be acknowledged as was requested by him of me, the practicalities of meeting etc. I was aware he had signed up to a dating site a month but had no other communication from him then 2 nights ago he tells me that he is interested in someone who works in the same building as him and has told her he is interested, he has told her that I have a boyfriend (no one knows except him) and that he would hopefully see her that weekend and my head is spinning. Added to that he became agitated because he read some messages between me and my boyfriend and told me I had no right to be a bit freaked by his sudden announcement as I was all lovey dovey with my boyfriend.
I am aware this has been handled all wrong but need some guidance. He is highly sexed and quite often wants to have sex with me after I've messaged my boyfriend. However, I have no interest in having sex with him if he is turned on after speaking to his girlfriend and when I asked about the 'practicalities' of him dealing with that he was not happy.
Sorry for the long winded post but I suppose my issue is when I'm not ready how do I deal with him having daily contact with someone he wants to date (though he says now he's not going to but I dont think its fair that the other girl involved will be let down), I've no interest having sex with him because he's turned on by this other woman so what do we do there and he feels he's let me have free rein because I've fallen for my boyfriend even though he gets off on me and my bf having sex....help!
I'm sorry if this is covered elsewhere, new to this also so I don't know the link, sorry
My husband has always been aroused with the idea of me seeing other men. About a year and a half ago we explored this, I met someone, casual sex became meeting for coffees and connecting quite quickly and we are now in a loving relationship. I see my boyfriend once every couple of weeks because he lives over an hours drive away. Part of the agreement initially when we were seeking someone was that they did not live too close. My husband has been involved sexually with us on occasion and always insists I have sex with him when I return home from seeing my boyfriend.
That's sort of the background. My husband knows I've fallen for my boyfriend but gets off on the sex. I have been trying to learn more about polyamory but can, unfortunately, be the jealous type However, I've been trying to do some reading to get over this, him seeking out other people was brought up, I felt it was only fair to let him explore thinking that he would talk me through everything (that he'd met someone he was interested in etc) before making any decisions because he was aware of my uncertainty, that the geographical distance would be acknowledged as was requested by him of me, the practicalities of meeting etc. I was aware he had signed up to a dating site a month but had no other communication from him then 2 nights ago he tells me that he is interested in someone who works in the same building as him and has told her he is interested, he has told her that I have a boyfriend (no one knows except him) and that he would hopefully see her that weekend and my head is spinning. Added to that he became agitated because he read some messages between me and my boyfriend and told me I had no right to be a bit freaked by his sudden announcement as I was all lovey dovey with my boyfriend.
I am aware this has been handled all wrong but need some guidance. He is highly sexed and quite often wants to have sex with me after I've messaged my boyfriend. However, I have no interest in having sex with him if he is turned on after speaking to his girlfriend and when I asked about the 'practicalities' of him dealing with that he was not happy.
Sorry for the long winded post but I suppose my issue is when I'm not ready how do I deal with him having daily contact with someone he wants to date (though he says now he's not going to but I dont think its fair that the other girl involved will be let down), I've no interest having sex with him because he's turned on by this other woman so what do we do there and he feels he's let me have free rein because I've fallen for my boyfriend even though he gets off on me and my bf having sex....help!