NewPolyGuy66
New member
Hello, there. Just an introduction, bare bones: 50ish gay man, single, previously in a 18-year monogamous relationship. Presently, wow. Knocked off my feet. Mind blown. I've met 2 guys who are a committed loving couple. They are also very happy exploring and playing with others outside the core relationship.
History is, they both approached me at the same time. Conversations happen, meetings take place, significant quality time is spent with just the 3 of us. Magic. They have included me on their various outside play dates and we all had great fun, and it just sort of bonded us closer, I think. They are also pursuing other play dates with random guys, and even sometimes with guys they already know. Gotta say this is not always easy. but I'm learning more about compersion every day.
We are separated by miles. They live together and have an awesome life. As a solo single guy, I am just searching the apps for meaningless banter and maybe a physical catch sometimes.
We have all shared how we feel for each other. Yep, the L word. I know they do. In every bone I have, I feel that. I do too, but still, I think I have the deeper feels for both of them, not just one of them. Perhaps that is a new poly twist. I'm not sure.
Deep discussions have led to talk about including me in almost every aspect of their lives, over time. It remains to be seen what actions will back these words. They have both voiced apprehension and fear about hurting me if, and inevitably, when, they pursue their respective play adventures away from one another. Btw, they have both said to me that I should pursue the same.
I love them both very much. I've never felt more alive and free, and yet so vulnerable at the same time.
We are only able to see each other in person every 6 or so weeks.
Full disclosure, my attachment style is anxious. They know this and have provided the assurance I need along the way. I am working on being okay with giving them space and time, without worrying I have been replaced or I'm just the flavor de jour. It's not easy. In fact, it is a struggle sometimes. My insecure side always doubts they have the same feelings I have. But I certainly don't want to smother or push them away.
We all want to see where this heads from here, without a poly label, or some fancy word choice like FB or FWB etc., that may or may not describe what we feel for one another.
Thanks for reading this far.
History is, they both approached me at the same time. Conversations happen, meetings take place, significant quality time is spent with just the 3 of us. Magic. They have included me on their various outside play dates and we all had great fun, and it just sort of bonded us closer, I think. They are also pursuing other play dates with random guys, and even sometimes with guys they already know. Gotta say this is not always easy. but I'm learning more about compersion every day.
We are separated by miles. They live together and have an awesome life. As a solo single guy, I am just searching the apps for meaningless banter and maybe a physical catch sometimes.
We have all shared how we feel for each other. Yep, the L word. I know they do. In every bone I have, I feel that. I do too, but still, I think I have the deeper feels for both of them, not just one of them. Perhaps that is a new poly twist. I'm not sure.
Deep discussions have led to talk about including me in almost every aspect of their lives, over time. It remains to be seen what actions will back these words. They have both voiced apprehension and fear about hurting me if, and inevitably, when, they pursue their respective play adventures away from one another. Btw, they have both said to me that I should pursue the same.
I love them both very much. I've never felt more alive and free, and yet so vulnerable at the same time.
We are only able to see each other in person every 6 or so weeks.
Full disclosure, my attachment style is anxious. They know this and have provided the assurance I need along the way. I am working on being okay with giving them space and time, without worrying I have been replaced or I'm just the flavor de jour. It's not easy. In fact, it is a struggle sometimes. My insecure side always doubts they have the same feelings I have. But I certainly don't want to smother or push them away.
We all want to see where this heads from here, without a poly label, or some fancy word choice like FB or FWB etc., that may or may not describe what we feel for one another.
Thanks for reading this far.
. This is sitting in my discomfort, I really don't know what to expect. Lol
It went great on all fronts. I introduced the open triad words. Nobody freaked out. J did want to clarify the difference between a throuple, which we all agreed we are not, and this new open triad term. We all agree that fits much better. Thanks for that, btw.
I'm grinning and choked on my coffee. Thank you. Lol. I I can see you are very sex positive, that was never a question. 