Safety and security

C

Cougarwolf

Member
Was just wondering, since so many people meet online these days, what safety precautions do you use when meeting someone from online for the first time?
 
Always drive an unmarked vehicle with tinted windows and stolen license plates with a "Baby on Board" sign in the back window, and last but not least: no fewer than three forms of picture ID, preferably biometric.
 
So I typically don't meet before getting a phone number and full name and I always google a person. I don't always find stuff out, but I often do, and for the most part it has been helpful.

I share my location with at least 2 people all the time and always tell both of these people where I'm going when I go. I do periodic check ins as well. Most often I meet in a public place for a first meeting, but I confess I've definitely pushed this once or twice when I felt very comfortable with the person I was chatting in advance. I think *most* people are actually decent humans. I really do. I know we hear the horror stories, but at the end of the day, I'm not psychotically worrying that everyone out there is trying to hurt me.

I think you can do quite a bit of preliminary vetting of a person before meeting.
 
I go with public place for someone I might have only been chatting with for a few days.

That's about it, really. After that, I go with my gut.
 
My general modus operandi is to tell my gf what his name is, his phone number, where we'll be meeting, and approximately how long I think I'll be out. I meet in a public place. Rarely do I bring someone home on the same day after a first meet and greet. Then on the second date, we might meet in public again, or I'll invite him over, if I really like him, and he projects a calm, respectful attitude. Once in a while I'll break my rule and have a guy come over on a first date, but it's rare, and usually those guys don't work out long term. I think I've only done that if it's been months since I had sex with a guy and *I* am horny. I don't do it just because they are horny.
 
Meeting in a public place, is probably the most important precaution.
 
At a minimum, I meet in public. I prefer cheap and easy, like Starbucks. I added sharing the phone number, name, and location of the date with my partner or a friend or family member. I also do location sharing through Google maps, as that's easy to share with others. There's no new app to download, and you can turn it on or off as you wish. Later I added doing a video call first. This cuts down on stand-ups and catfishes and wasted time because they aren't as they seemed in chats.
 
Usual first date is coffee somewhere public - everyone’s sober and it has a built in opportunity to leave when you finish your drink if things aren’t working. Otherwise I honestly don’t worry THAT much about safety.

Oh, I do have location tracking turned on, but I don’t think of that as security so much as convenience, as most of the reason I have it and vice versa is so Nick and I can see when the other is on the way home from work or other non-date stuff to cut down on logistical coordination. Dates it’s assumed we’re out til late until we say otherwise. :)
 
icesong said:
Usual first date is coffee somewhere public - everyone’s sober and it has a built in opportunity to leave when you finish your drink if things aren’t working. Otherwise I honestly don’t worry THAT much about safety.

Oh, I do have location tracking turned on, but I don’t think of that as security so much as convenience, as most of the reason I have it and vice versa is so Nick and I can see when the other is on the way home from work or other non-date stuff to cut down on logistical coordination. Dates it’s assumed we’re out til late until we say otherwise. :)
Click to expand...
We have location trackers too. Because of our son, we have a curfew on school nights
 
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