Sailing Solo

[Atlantis]

The motorcycle class is either cancelled or rescheduled. Mum got the dates wrong and the parents won't be here for the class. In a fit of "must fix now" I emailed Prof to ask for help with one evening kid pick up. I am regretting that, but he might not be able to help anyway.
This is techincaly year 3. Year 1 was with Ms Text so I got to do what I liked with minimum interference. Year 2 was camping, travelling and doing all the stuff we couldn't do when Ms Text was around. But Year 2 was more like a regular Year 1. So now we are at the Storming /Norming stage, Year 3 of knowing each other.
Years 3-4 is where I have a tendency to pack up and move on, either with living place, job, country...whatever it is. I was reading a relationship book last night and I fall into the commitmentphobe category. I fall into that category from the side of wanting and enjoying change. When I feel like I have mastered or got reasonably skilled at something or a place, then I look for the next challenge. I like novelty. I have no hobby that I have done for years. I do random things when I feel like it.
But right now I feel like trying on a committed long term relationship. My marriage was not what I hoped for. I wanted a partnership, family outings, family traditions, shared responsibilities. Instead I got D.U.I. fines, long term unemployment, being dragged out of bed at 2 am to be told how awful I was.
I committed to that much longer than was healthy.
I have had 5 years to establish a new life, avoid commitment, but I think I want a partner to share my life with. I don't think it will be Prof. I am muddling over a new relationship framework or model and at the moment it doesn't involve discussions and scheduling around other partners. Or am I doing the same old same old and looking for excuses to not commitment to the relationship that is right in front of me.
I am certain that I can't take the negative and critical comments anymore or the discussions that go round in circles.

 

[Atlantis]

I met up with my BFF for lunch yesterday and I told her of my plan to go monogamous and try on the 50's nuclear family relationship model. She said I would be bored in a week and it is not me that has problems with open relationships it is numpties that I date. She said she has never heard me try to restrict what anyone else does but the men I choose are very controlling, talk the talk but can't actually cope with the jealousy. She said she thinks Prof will be cured of the git like behavior the moment I tell him I am not seeing Jay anymore. Speaking of Jay...
I had a lot of fun with Jay last night. We went downtown for a cocktail and appetizer and then to a bar near my house where I had 2 margaritas, I thought it was one. I was tipsy by 8 pm, what a lightweight.
We talked about relationships and work, a little bit about why I broke up with him, all sorts, it mostly involved a lot of laughing. He said he thinks I am very hard on myself and expect too much from myself. I have been pretty lazy by my standards this weekend because I see that I am heading towards a burnout if I don't tone it down. I couldn't do savasana in yoga yesterday which is pretty telling, fidget, fidget, twitch twitch.
He brought up texting. His last message to me on Thursday was that he would ping me on Saturday and I didn't send a message after that. I get the feeling he thought that was out of character He pinged me at 5pm yesterday, which is late, but he knew I was kid free and I said on Thursday that I was saving the booty call till Saturday. He was round my house by 6:30pm wearing proper trousers/pants, shoes, not trainers, and smelled delicious. I love it when a man dresses up. Prof is very stylish too.
He said he knows I like to chat and plan by text but he just can't bring himself to do it. Now that I have mentally moved him into the "not dating" category I don't care anymore. Last night was maybe the last time I will see him, I don't know. But the cocktails were fun and the sex was super intense and went on for ages. and ages. and ages. It is so much better than yoga for relaxing. I love fucking, I really do. I firmly believe the purpose of yoga is to create the stamina, strength and flexibility for great sex. I have not researched the whole tantric yoga sex thing but I guess that is what that is about. Jay works out and is fit and strong. I felt so good and relaxed after and the feeling has carried on into today.
Prof is due back sometime tonight. I would like to know he is safe.

 

[Atlantis]

Prof came back last night, not Sunday, it is written on my calendar so apparently I have inherited my mother's calendaring issues I will tease her when she gets here.
Prof is leaving again on Wednesday for 2 nights out of state. He thought my parents were arriving on Weds ( didn't we all ) so he lined up some meetings. He offered to buy me a ticket but I had to say no.
We had a very nice catch-up night and he stayed for ages which was unexpected as he had gone from a long haul flight to work then to my house. We cooked, helped the kids with homework, had a lay down and he told all me his travel news. He said it would have been more fun if I was there He said our Eurotrip will probably remain his best trip for a long time. I agreed it was the trip of a lifetime. He got us all gifts from his travels, the kids are building up a cute collection of t-shirts from various states and internationally.
His first text back in the USA was from Ms Music, she broke up with him. She emailed later to say she wanted a monogamous primary relationship and as she wasn't going to get it from Prof she was going to get it from her new boyfriend. According to Prof she has been lobbying hard for the past few months for him to make a "commitment." I asked him to define "commitment", he said a monogamous life partner.
I am glad I had no idea this was going on. Ignorance is bliss. This is why I don't want to know too much about the other GFs. For him to go Mono then I would have to get the boot along with a few others. It would be back to how it was with Ms Text, Would I make through the weekend or would I be vetoed over the weekend? When will you make up your mind?
Well, it wouldn't be, I wouldn't bother with it a second time around. The whole "Break up with other people who I haven't ever met," attitude is really quite rude. He said he was very clear from the beginning and continuously on-going that Primary wasn't going to happen, I remember when she was pushing for fluid bonding. I said he could but I would use condoms, no biggie, but he didn't want to.
While he was on that track, Ms Admin is moving to the far end of the state, Ms Cat went last month or September. He said he is down to Ms Bike, me, Ms Adele, and someone whose name is don't know, so lets go with Ms Barbra. I bet there are a few he sees much less too. He said (not for the first time )that he wants to break off the sexual relationship with Ms Bike but remain friends because he really enjoys her as a friend.
We didn't discuss where we are. It wasn't the time.
Work is crazy. I am so glad the parents will be here soon.

 

[Atlantis]

Me : What would you like for Christmas?
Prof: I would like to hang out with you for another year.

A very smart thing to say.

We still have had not had the chance to speak about the incident and it really won't happen till after the parents leave. There have been a few angled comments from me about the last few months being unstable, his responses are along of the lines of we are still together and still talking and will I please book a summer holiday and some camp sites.

I am in booking limbo-land till court next month. It very much impacts how I view my relationship with Prof. Him asking me to hang out for another year was the perfect calming tool. My first response and thought was, "I can make that happen." Not a relationship escalator but a time target; no expectations of anything apart from being together this time next year. He knows I am floundering around without some plans but we have some serious talking to do before the next trip is put together, but yet I am more hopeful because of thaat simple request.

He gave me more updates about Ms Music. Mostly about how her expectations changed and she wanted to be Primary ( he waves hand up high ) and for everyone else to be Not A Priority ( waves hand down low ). Ok, I get that, you have to ask for what you want. Then comes another detail, whenever he is town she wants Scheduling Priority, first right of refusal on all free time.

My bar is set way too low. I asked Jay for reasonable response times to communication and a few games of tennis.

He talked about Ms WhitePicket again, she calls and asks for help with things. He says he is cutting her off. He brought up her desire for kids and a house with a white picket fence. It is so hard not react when he says that. White picket White Picket! God knows what I will call her if I ever meet her. In my head she is Ms WP.

I told him I was glad that I didn't know about the Ms Music drama and definitely would have preferred the quick chop over ongoing updates and uncertainty. He said he would want to be in the loop from the start. We just do not see eye to eye on the communication issue.

I told him that I had been through it before with Ms Text, the ever present Sword of Damocles ( veto ) remember her trying to veto me over hairclips and a host of other asinine things. The tea bags was another. I don't need or want to know that stuff. It also doesn't say a lot about partners who allows that level of interference. I told him that his behavior towards me at times has been appalling. He said I broke up with him 3 times and he has never broken up with me. I told him he deserved it after he couldn't a make a single weekend night to see me in 8 months ( says a lot about how he viewed me at the time too ) yet made a whole weekend open up for Ms WP. Ms Text was in hospice that weekend. Still makes me annoyed when I think about it. He does have the decency to look...what is the word...something like ashamed or regretful, he doesn't argue or try to justify it anymore.

He seems very relieved that I am not seeing Jay anymore. Word of the week is "expectations" My expectations for seeing Jay were not being met. I expectations are for prompt communication and activities. Prof reminded me that he was very good at those things.:rolleyes

 

[Atlantis]

deleted. really rambling

 

[IndieSolo]

The thought occurred to me, after reading your previous post, that perhaps Prof had the urge to tell you about the end of things with Ms. Music, Ms. Admin, and Ms, Cat, as well as shifting to platonic only with Ms. Bike, as a sort of pre-emptive strike. You know, a way of saying, "Feel sorry for me and don't break up with me" because he knows he fucked up (even though he may be loathe to admit it) and he realizes he is walking on fragile ground now, with you.

Will be interesting to read what you decide on 12/12 (and how things go up until then).

 

[Atlantis]

The thought occurred to me, after reading your previous post, that perhaps Prof had the urge to tell you about the end of things with Ms. Music, Ms. Admin, and Ms, Cat, as well as shifting to platonic only with Ms. Bike, as a sort of pre-emptive strike.

He has told me before that he has no-one else to talk to ( or chooses not to talk to) about the GFs, work etc. As far a I can tell he doesn't. Aside from underlying motivation I think he genuinely wants someone to spill too and I try not to give advice or input just listen. I did say once that I thought having sex with an employee was a bad idea.

I think Ms Cat was about how he is working to protect our relationship. I feel that was a little manipulative.
Ms Admin was supposed to move about 2 years ago, so a social update? She was in the 3-way that got a bit weird.
Ms Bike is an on-going thing. She wants more time too, is/was unhappy about the amount of time Prof spends with me. He doesn't like her weight but she is fun. I have met her twice.
Ms Music, that was all about unloading. I got the details of her borderline hoarding, the rules with the new Primary, wanting more time.
Because I don't want to talk about it in an ongoing way, he stores it up and then "off load" time. But he said he was really shocked to get the text, didn't see it coming.
Ms White Picket may be moving from out of state to locally. I will drop Prof like a ton of bricks if he starts seeing her on a regular basis. His choice if he does, he doesn't need to know my opinion.There are a number of behavior issues that I haven't written about on here but they mean I have zero interest in her knowing anything about me; where I work, live etc.

I have no idea about Ms Adele or Ms Barbra. There are also others that does not see with any "periodicity" ( new word for me ). I do not think he would have much of problem replacing me. My projection: What does it matter if I break up with him? He has lots of options to replace me with or find new ones. We do have fun together, but he has fun with other GFs too. Ms Bike wants to glamp, Ms Music travels, Ms WP is drama.

I find it hard to see that he would be worried or care if I did break up with him. I run short in the empathy department, you may have noticed.. His behavior ( mostly ) and words say he does care but... I project my feelings or lack of them onto him. No wonder he get frustrated with me. I don't care what you do with your other GFs, so why do you care about what I do?

Does he think he is walking on thin ice? Probably. But why does he care? I am so replaceable, we all are, or we work around the hole.
I do not see him as man who less than in control of his world, he does what he wants.
I just don't get it really, why fight to hold onto this relationship? There's a question. Why am I holding on?

 

[KC43]

I understand what you mean about feeling replaceable. That's one of the biggest issues I've been dealing with when it comes to Woody. He has Highlight, plus another local girlfriend, plus a long-distance girlfriend--and he's looking for MORE partners! So what the hell does he need me for?

But here's the thing... Yes, Woody has other *partners*. But he doesn't have another *KC*, and Prof doesn't have another Atlantis.

No human being is replaceable, because even if we do the same thing as someone else, we aren't the same person. Prof might find someone he can spend time with doing the things he does with you... but that someone wouldn't *be* you.

 

[Atlantis]

I understand what you mean about feeling replaceable. That's one of the biggest issues I've been dealing with when it comes to Woody. He has Highlight, plus another local girlfriend, plus a long-distance girlfriend--and he's looking for MORE partners! So what the hell does he need me for?

Hi KC, I think you misunderstand the angle that I am coming from or maybe I misunderstand you.
I have no problem with being replaceable, if that is what he wants, then that is fine. I was responding to NYCindie's comment about him giving me the GF details as a form of manipulation. I question why he needs to manipulate me when there are a number of GFs who, according to him, would be happy to see him more and do things with him. Does that make sense? Why stay with me if I frustrate him that much? I dropped a friend and a lover recently because I was frustrated with them. Rather than turn it into a drama I ended it.
But NCY is right, he is trying hard to stabilize things. I struggle to see things from his perspective.

Prof might find someone he can spend time with doing the things he does with you... but that someone wouldn't *be* you.

Kip said almost the exact same thing to me. He was complaining to me about me breaking up with him and I said it is not that hard to find new partners, you will have a new "Atlantis" in no time. I was not bitter or angry, that is how life is, I asked for change on multiple occasions, he couldn't provide, so suck it up and move on.
If the "me" is causing Prof so much stress on an ongoing basis that he slaps me then the "me" might not be the right romantic partner for him, find someone or a group of someones who better fit your needs. Behavior is communication.



If folks at work don't perform then I encourage them to go find their bliss elsewhere. Prof has no problem doing the same. We are not family, we are not parent and child, those relationships are a whole different ball of wax IMO.

As Mags and my BFF advised, I am trying not lose sight of the fact that we do have a whole lot of fun together. I do care deeply about him. He has many wonderful facets to his personality and we challenge each other in many stimulating ways. But I am done with being pick pick picked into a puddle of self-doubt and confusion.

On a different note, I have been chatting to someone on pof.com. Been a couple of weeks and we still haven't met, it just moved to text today, he asked if we could meet sometime. This is my 1950's monogamous model of let the man set the pace. It is an interesting distraction. He seems single.

 

[Atlantis]

I am not nuts, he doesn't want me to date. " It is better for "us" if you don't." At least he finally admitted it and admitted to it without making it my idea. He would like me to take down my dating profile.
The circular, never changing issue is that I don't want to discuss what I am doing. He wants to know. Yes, he likes that I leave him to his own devices. But no, he can't cope with the worry and stress of not knowing what I am doing. He is prepared to commit to another year.

Me : What would you like for Christmas?
Prof: I would like to hang out with you for another year.

He doesn't remember saying this but surprise! This is what he has been thinking about. He wants to commit to another year.

We have been drinking, he doesn't want to talk about it until we are sober. He is taking a nap.

He said I made mean comments about Ms WP. I asked what exactly did I say that was unkind or mean. Or was it that I called him on his behavior when she is around? I told him gets twitterpated when she is around and he used her last trip to

 

[IndieSolo]

I am not nuts, he doesn't want me to date. " It is better for "us" if you don't." At least he finally admitted it and admitted to it without making it my idea. He would like me to take down my dating profile.

Holy shit! Why, in his mind, is it better for both of you? It's just better for him, because he gets his way. What a hypocrite. But for you, the sex with Prof isn't consistently good or often enough for him to be your only guy, among all the other things. So, why shouldn't you date whomever and whenever you like? It's your life and your sexuality. You don't belong to him. Sheesh. I hope you leave your profile up.

The circular, never changing issue is that I don't want to discuss what I am doing. He wants to know. Yes, he likes that I leave him to his own devices. But no, he can't cope with the worry and stress of not knowing what I am doing. He is prepared to commit to another year.

. . . We have been drinking, he doesn't want to talk about it until we are sober. He is taking a nap.

The idea that he worrries and stresses over what you're doing is bullshit. His real issue is that he can't control what you're doing. He wants as many lovers as he can juggle, but you can't? That is only because he wants to be in charge of you.

It also speaks volumes about how he regards women in general. Something not right there, like he's some sort of user or doesn't think highly enough of women to respect and allow space for their autonomy and right to make their own choices. I can't quite express it, but his comments reak of sexism and insecurity/control issues.

 

[Leetah]

Sure seems like insecurity to me. He feels you have a strong hold on his emotions and he fears you will cause him pain if he doesn't know what you are up to. I can't recall if there is any chance he would be willing to work on his issues considering his busy schedule. I kind of wonder if his chock full professional and dating lives are set up to avoid facing his issues.

Leetah

 

[Atlantis]

I hope you leave your profile up.

My profile goes up and down on a regular basis. I would have taken it down already just because I am so busy, but will leave it up for now. It is not like I am getting many messages. I rarely get a reply to ones I send either.

The idea that he worrries and stresses over what you're doing is bullshit.

I really think he does, and it is fine that he does, however...

His real issue is that he can't control what you're doing.

That is pretty close to the truth.
He said he doesn't ask other GFs what they are doing but he says that is mostly because they tell without being asked.
He said that the note I had stuck on the fridge with his info on it, way back when we were first dating, made an impression, not a good one. I told him the truth about why it was there and that was in case I didn't come home and people needed to find me, I also provide all the info to a friend of mine and text when I get home. I take reasonable safety precautions. He says he doesn't like the idea that I think I may not get home safely and worries. I believe he does worry.

Something not right there, like he's some sort of user or doesn't think highly enough of women to respect and allow space for their autonomy and right to make their own choices. I can't quite express it, but his comments reak of sexism and insecurity/control issues.

It seems that most of the complaints from the other Gfs are that he doesn't take enough interest and therefore out of character that he is so interested in my business.

 

[Atlantis]

127

Sure seems like insecurity to me.

Yes, he says I shouldn't have broken up with him 3 times already. Although the last time was nearly 2 years ago.

He feels you have a strong hold on his emotions and he fears you will cause him pain if he doesn't know what you are up to.

He has said that before.

I can't recall if there is any chance he would be willing to work on his issues considering his busy schedule. I kind of wonder if his chock full professional and dating lives are set up to avoid facing his issues.

He doesn't have this kind of issue with the other GFs, or so he says. They are happy to talk about anything and everything, dating other partners, sex with other partners etc.

I popped round this morning and he brought up Ms Music. Apparently she is emailing and he blurted out a few minutes of Ms Music stuff, definitely squeaky hinge. When he stopped I said "Aren't you glad I keep out of your GF business?" ( I did not comment on the content of the blurt, although I was mentally eye rolling ) he said he really appreciates that I do.

I hope we find some middle ground, as in I get my way entirely. Being flippant...
He did say the other night that we need to continue the discussion after thanksgiving.

Jay sent me what I thought was a random message at 3am, then I realized it was a reply to the last message I had sent over a week ago I ignored it and he sent me a couple more this afternoon. or maybe I confused him with the break up then cocktail sex night. oops. There was no discussion of future meeting last time I saw him. If you are not being scheduled then you are out!

 

[Atlantis]

The kids are with the ex. They should be with me but due to an error on the parenting plan ( no odd year, even year, language ) he is insisting he gets them again. The error was supposed to be corrected at the parenting plan update meeting that he failed to appear for. I wondered what that was all about, now I know. I knew the mistake was there but I really didn't think he would would be such an ass about it.The older kid was crying about doing fewer nights because my parents are here.
I am having a good time with the parents but it is sad that my ex is so vindictive even after all these years.
I upset Prof the other night via text and then phone. I called him about the location of my corkscrew, he offered to bring one over, I said no need, we would pop to the shops and get one, I could not understand why he was offering, but also did not put much thought into it. The traffic was hideous, looking at 30 minutes one way and 55 plus return. I did not twig that he wanted to come and see my parents, he said his feelings were quite hurt. I told him I had no idea he was angling for an invitation and he should have just come out with it. He doesn't need an invitation at this point, he can ask outright.
He gave me a key to his house so I can go nap and wait for the kids when he is not there and wait on a Weds. He told my Dad I only use the key when he is not there Yes! The whole "not there" thing was the point of it.
I told him that he is very clear about what happens to GFs who ask for too much time or attention, he gets annoyed and they get dumped! He says needs someone who understands that his scheduled is packed. I get that, so I don't ask for much, he offers. He said I should not worry about getting dumped and I should ask for whatever I want and if he can give it then he will He said it is rare that I ask for help or time anyway.

I told him that I was going to pick up the phone more often, even though on the corkscrew occasion, it didn't actually prevent the misunderstanding. It is ridiculous how we misunderstand each other.
We are meeting for brunch today, and maybe it is time for some talking about things.

I offered to meet pof man, in reply he sent me 13 texts about how his car had broken down and he was depressed. We have been messaging for nearly 3 weeks. So much for my "let the man take the lead" experiment. I met Jay about 3 hours after the first message.
Jay is still sending the odd random depressing message.
I rarely get a reply to messages I send out on pof, same with okc. Maybe I should try things like, "Hey sexy, do you want to kidnap and cuddle me?"

 

[Atlantis]

I bumped into someone from work when out with Prof. I introduced Prof as my "friend." He later said jokingly that I could at least refer to him as, 'My fabulous lover."
Nearly 3 years in and I rarely call him my boyfriend. It is too weird. He is single on his OKC profile, he used to be in a "Relationship with an amazing primary," when Ms Text was around. He referred to himself as single to my Dad the other night. He presents himself as single.
I think of myself as single but am feeling rather over it.
I think a number of the issues stem from the fact that I do not feel wholeheartedly "in," one foot in, one foot out.
I am leaving out a chunk of what he did for me today. He is very good to me.

 

[Atlantis]

We had a bit of a chat last night.
It started with him asking my opinion on a communication from Ms Music. My interpretation is that she is trying to reopen the door to resuming their relationship. He said he is done with her, too much drama. I said he will probably recycle her in a few months. I contemplated asking him not to recycle GFs who ask go monogamous but then thought, 'What is the point, if he wants to do it then he will." Cowgirls! that is the definition of cowgirls, right?

Couple privilege. Prof says that is something I have earned by being around the longest. I now have the "right: to express a preference over who he dates and other such nonsense. I tried to tell him that wasn't something I asked for or considered to be a fair way to treat other partners, I don't think he understood. He said Ms Text found it reassuring to have been around the longest and wield couple privilege. I said she also maintained her position by vetoing anyone she found threatening and 2 pages of rules. He said he never realized until recently how unfair veto was and actually apologized for putting me through it.

We touched a little on the topic of me dating. He doesn't want it because he says he is already behind the kids in priority ( but totally gets that ) and doesn't want to be bumped further down. Also, he says he doesn't see that I have the time. Finally, I go all weird and refuse to tell him what is going on which makes him worried and anxious.

I didn't comment either way on what I was going to do, it was more about listening and sharing then drawing lines in the sand but I currently have no interest in cutting myself off from other partner possibilities. Not that there are any

 

[IndieSolo]

Ah, ha! Here is the nugget at the center of your conflict with Prof: he sees all of his poly dating as very hierarchical and you don't. He feels you have more authority for being with him the longest and others can wait, while you will make time for the person who shows up when they say they will, schedules work out, etc., etc., no matter who it is. Even if you designate a specific day as his, you aren't putting him high up above anyone else. If another guy comes into your life and shows he is worthy of your time, you give him the same consideration you give Prof. Seems that is what he doesn't like.

 

[Atlantis]

I think you are onto something. He wants to be the most special, the favourite. That very much fits in with his personality and the picking at anyone I do meet as not being good enough. I can see that anyone he doesn't give his seal of approval too is not going to make the cut, because, that person would have to be a good as he is to get a piece of the Time Pie. I did realize a while ago that there isn't going to be anyone that he will approve of easily but didn't add it all up and wrap it in a hierarchy bow.
Problem is...I don't care to exercise hierarchy over his relationships and I expect the same in return.
I have been thinking about my irritation with Ms Music and Ms WP and why I would not be too keen on them being GFs again ( is this hierarchy ? ) and realized that they both tried to call a veto. It was generalized to all the GFs but asking for Mono relationships is the same as saying dump all the rest. At this point I would voice my opinion to Prof but I don't think that is the same as stating "her or me." So, mostly I think I am hierarchy free.
The parents are leaving in a few days so I suppose the discussion will continue.

 

[Atlantis]

Not much to report. Parents have gone but I am left with a clean house and most of Xmas ready. I have no idea how I would manage the holidays without them. The tree is up, presents bought and wrapped, presents sent back with them.
It's amazing how I manage to cope on my own the rest of the time. Full time work, school, 2 kids, house...but yet it does it get done ( maybe not to the highest level ) and I make time to do fun things too. Everything is better with help. The kids get more time, the food is better, I am not so tired.
Things with Prof are going well. I am really appreciating how he does help, the parents pointed it out too. Maybe I do take him for granted too much.
#2 kid is the class president this week and needs to take in a special person to share with the class. I have a meeting which can't be put off again and was working with the teacher on going in later in the morning. Who has weekday mornings off work? Prof. So I texted him, he agreed and then the teacher said I could go in late. I texted him, said he was off the hook and he replied that he was disappointed. I called him up (working hard to avoid misunderstandings) and he said he really did want to do it. I ordered some photos for him to take him and realized he does do a lot with the kids. We have camping, airplane trips, Eurotrip, cooking, games, all sorts, #2 will be thrilled. My dad pointed out that they have a very positive relationship and enjoy each other.
All that is missing is some fiery sex. No, wait, any sex. I have high hopes for tonight. Maybe should moderate that down to simply hope.
I swapped phone numbers with my neighbor, the kids play together most days. It has taken a year and a half. That seems to be about the length of time it takes me to start to open up. One of the office people said the same thing. I have been there over a year and they are just discovering that I have a sense of humor. Not sure what my point is here. Maybe that I am slow to connect and should appreciate those who I do connect with more.
Missing my parents