Sailing Solo

NYE was kinky sexy, and haven't-seen-you-for-10-days fun.
We didn't make it till 12 o'clock, I didn't really have any expectation of doing so, I think the last time I was awake for New Year was in 2010/2011. We had a lazy day yesterday, went out for breakfast, had sex and napped until it was time to go get the kids.
The up-coming week will be filled with kid stuff, a trip to the cinema, a trip to the kid's museum, sleep-over night, kid sitting for a friend etc. Mr Dom and I are taking a 2 night trip out of town and I hope the weather improves between now and then. Oh well, there is plenty to do even if we have to stay mostly indoors.

I have struggled a bit with not being scheduled up the wazoo. I think I had 4 weeks in total of vacation last year and it was filled with things that had to be done to catch up, apart from the one week of travel. I have done a number of projects round the house, cleaned out the yardette, taken Mr Dog's dog out for a lot of walks, been to the gym nearly every day, done some homework, but not felt terribly motivated to keep going all day, the kids have had a lot of screen time rolleyes: I have read quite a lot and do feel relatively unstressed.
 
Good things...
I had a good 2 over night away trip with Mr Dom, lots of sex and exploring and good champagne too.
We have some more RV trips on the calendar and are discussing some slightly longer trips. I have airmiles burning a hole in my pocket :D. He is possibly going to come with me to Euroland for a while in the summer. He wants to travel with his daughter in Europe too so we can probably meet up at some point. Mr Dom has no particular desire to see anything but he said the Mediterranean coast might be fun and has given me free reign to plan a side trip. :D I love Greece and have been to a few Greek Islands. We went to the World's Fair recreation of the Parthenon in Nashville last year so I might take him to see the real one in Athens. I have been there before but it was years ago.
Prof is still currently booked on the same flight as me and the kids, so come tax refund time I will offer to cancel it and pay him out. I can use the credit to put towards Mr Dom's flight or save for the credit for the future, they airline won't refund the money. But I am guessing Prof will keep it and use it himself because it was such a deal.
Prof invited me to come and see the finished house remodel. The question was embedded in a text with stuff about money so I just ignored it. I felt petty and bitchy about the request. Has he not planned many exciting house warming parties with all his exciting friends that I never met? Why does he want me to oooh and ahh over it? He also told me his New Year's was very quiet. What ?!? No fabulous parties in the city with his fabulous city friends that I never met? He could be lying, he could be telling the truth, the man has zero credibility with me.
In other news, I have booked to take my motorcycle written test yet again. This will be the 4th time I think I have gotten a permit but Mr Dom bought a scooter to take with the RV, so I will finally be able to take the actual riding part on a scooter that will make the turns in the test course. I am so excited. This has been on list of things to do for 4 years!
I have put in a lot of time on my school project. I will be presenting it to a panel I think in May and then done with school with for a while. No more classes till I pay off my current student loans. I will have spent around 9 out of the last 12 years in some kind of education program. Only one boyfriend and no school...I will need a hobby. :D
Work is good. My boss asked me what I wanted to do and what my work passions are. I think I mostly enjoy variety. There will be no large pay raise this year which had been bandied around as a possibility, a modest raise will occur but looks like an 3 extra weeks of vacation time which is actually what I prefer.
 
It has been quite a while since I posted. Life is going well :) and monogamy is going well.
I occasionally miss looking at the online dating sites. I needed to not look at them for a while. I don't like bumping into pics of Kip and Prof. prof still messages, I still reply, it is usually pretty innocuous stuff. He has asked a few times to see me and I say no. He doesn't ask why I refuse.

I have managed to squeeze in a few fun short overnight trips with Mr Dom. We recently got back stage passes to a huge concert, got to meet the band, I mixed drinks at the craft services table and danced my socks off as close to the stage as you can get without tripping over the "hidden band" the folks that play under and next to the stage to support the main act. It was really fun night.

I had my last class where I had to turn up in person. Mr Dom watched the kids for me. I am picking away at my final project, even took a day off work to spend on it. I present it to the board in May, I think and graduation night is June. Mr Dom said he will bring my kids and they will sit in the audience. It has been along time since anyone watched me get more pieces of education paper. I think it will be a good experience for the kids. I plan to stop with the school business for a few years. Once I pay off the current round of loans I may go back. I do enjoy learning new things but it is too challenging with kids who still aren't old enough to be left alone.

Work is hard. Mr Dom said I wasn't to check my work email this weekend. That won't happen but I will do less. I am baby-sitting a sick child for my friend right now. Little one is sleeping and I am having all sorts of fun reading around on the internet.
 
I got a text from Prof saying he had found my plastic cake box and would drive it over it to me. I said no thanks and no need, throw it out/recycle it. He said he would keep it because of all the memories.

Fast forward to Valentine's day, I get home from work and there is the cake box at the front door filled with delicious treats and gifts for me, the kids and even the cats. There are also 3 little boxes of Valentine's chocolates with our names on them and a coin taped to the tape that would have meant something had we ever actually been in a relationship :cool: They were the kind of gifts that involved more than shop and not a small amount of effort.

I haven't texted or called to say thank-you. I am really surprised that he would violate his own boundary of no unannounced visits EVER. I am quite annoyed that he would violate this rule especially as I have refused his offers to visit on more than a few occasions at this point. Even while we were in our not-relationship he never made this kind of effort for V-day. This is the man who couldn't even commit to doing something on my birthday. It is almost 3 months since I have seen or spoken to him and I have no idea why he is bothering. On one hand I feel terribly rude for not saying thank-you but on the other hand I explicitly told him to throw out the box and not come round.

I am so keen to get out of any communication with him at all that I put out re-finance feelers for the house. I expecting to hear that I wouldn't be eligible for another 2 years and what to do get ready ( lots of saving for closing costs ). However, both of the credit unions that I got in contact with said a tentative "yes". The next step is to buy ink for my printer/copier and get working on organizing pieces of paper. It looks like very little can be done electronically. I think I remember how to use a pen...first find an ostrich and then pluck out the longest feather. I can do much of the printing and scanning at work, but I am sure there will be some sort of print, sign and panic at some point.

The downside of this is no home improvement. I will have to stick to perving over Bluebird's remodel-porn pics. :D

Things with Mr Dom are going very well. He has been pulling out the Dom bag recently and we have been having so much fun with the contents. Happiness is a collar and dominating Dom. He loves me being submissive and I love being submissive to a strong dom.

We have had a few issues with him coming out as having issues with travelling planning. Short trips are fine but anything involving flights and booking results in, what can only be described as, melt-downs. I actually got to witness one at therapy which was quite a surprise after us taking a few trips that involve flights and reservations. We were at therapy because I was getting irritated with his lack of commitment to planning, then I gave up and said I would continue with my own plans and he didn't like that. We have no resolution as such, it was one therapy session and he said he can't deal with more analysis of this issue for the time being. He has issues and I love to travel. He said to me the other the day, post-therapy, that he has a companion ticket and a bunch of air miles to use :confused: Yes, we have had this conversation before and it results in nothing. I have my own air miles and companion tickets, I don't need his but splitting the cost makes things so much more affordable. I had moved on to looking at flights with my BFF for spring break but she said she is going somewhere with hubby and kids now. It looks like I will have to save the money anyway as one of the re-fi pieces of paper is $875. That was plane tickets and 4 nights in the hot and sunny destination of my choice. And oh yes I would go by myself. Spring break is not the cheapest time to go anywhere but this is the only block of time that I know I will be kid free for the whole year. I will be working in the other windows that the ex will have them. hmm, now I am back to thinking about where to go...:D

Apart from that all else is really quite wonderful. Lots of sex, talk, kissing, activities...

I am off to see Lego Batman tomorrow with some friends and friends' kids. It looks pretty funny. I have enjoyed the other Lego movies :p
 
nord senai

Lego Batman is worth a matinee price ticket. The relationship script between Batman and the Joker was written as a stereotypical heterosexual romance. It was spot on.

I did end up texting Prof about the Valentine's day box. During the thanks he ended up asking me to speak to him in person. I asked him about what and he listed all the financial entanglements including the mortgage :eek:. I have been keeping him updated on things so that was a quick few words response to each of the those and then he said he wanted closure. Having him raise the mortgage had the potential to be extremely stressful but since I was already working on it and had checked out the loan docs the veiled threat is all bark and no bite.

And him wanting closure is where I get some petty form of payback. I said I would ask my therapist, which I did. We did the whole discussion on what I want to do and why, she neither encouraged as discouraged but did caution that the man is my mortgage holder and I would be wise to keep things civil until that is decided. I replied to Prof that I wasn't able to have that conversation with him at this time.
Much like he put our not-relationship on hold so he could he do the things he did then lie about it I put my answer on hold. I does feel good. You fucked with my head for years and now I shall fuck such a teeny tiny bit with yours.

I am hoping for some good information about the re-fi today. It will be the end of anything that involves flights apart from Eurotrip. We can still go camping and the like, so not the end of fun.

Mr Dom flew out of state for a funeral. I have the dog again. Dog share is working well. I don't want a dog because of the time commitment and I am out of the house for 12 plus hours some days. but I really enjoy the walks and the kids love to play.
 
No kids and no Mr Dom all weekend, just me and the animals. I am going out with my friend tonight but I am enjoying the idea of not talking and not interacting with people for most of the weekend.

I did type up some mortgage statements for Prof to peruse and hopefully agree to me sending to the re-fi people. If I waited for Prof to do it then I could be waiting for weeks. He says he is in the middle of moving house and appreciates it if I prepare the documents. I did offer to prep them after the phone got cut on Wednesday off for non-payment, it means he is way behind with the dealing with the pile of stuff on his kitchen table. It has been right around a year since he bought that house, and moving is a surprise?!? I did my house by myself ( and some friends on moving day with 2 small kids in tow ) in 2 weeks. plus one extra week so finish off cleaning up the rental. Prof is moving less than a mile. Mind boggling how disorganized he is.
Or boggling how disorganized his mind is.

Prof is really pushing for some closure. He has texted a few more times asking for a talk, I said no, not ready. Then he asked if I would let him know when I felt ready to talk to him. I did say "yes" to that. The "yes" time being approximately simultaneous with hell freezing over. What do I tell him? Some nice people had an intervention and told me stuff you will deny?

My other plans for the weekend include trying to entirely finish my class project. It is not due till the end of May but I think I can knock out the rest of it this weekend. I also have regular work to do. And as some activities that are purely for me, I will go to the gym and do something with my plants; I fancy a couple of dwarf fruit trees in containers. I will not paint. I will not paint. I will not paint. I need to quit looking at bluebird's remodel porn. The envy!
 
Last edited:
I have nothing remotely poly to report :)

Life moves along at quite the hectic pace both with Mr Dom and without :)
I am putting in horribly long hours at work and Mr Dom is working a lot too so I doing my best to work hard and play hard. I saw Mr Dom twice this week for a couple of hours each time, he slept over Thursday after picking his daughter up from the airport but I was asleep when he arrived and never woke up! He was sweet and got up to sit with me before I left for work.

I am doing lots of out and about stuff when I can, a burlesque show ( pretty amateurish ) Art Show in the city ( lots of laughing at the contemporary art my taste seems to peter out at the end of "modern" ) I have seen a couple of "contemporary" exhibitions and cannot keep a straight face. The 3 rolls of carpet in Chicago last summer! If the point of art is to stick in the mind, then that that particular piece worked! There was curry for lunch so a most excellent day out.

I have tickets for a small concert on Tuesday, it is quite a well known band playing a pretty small but well known local venue, should be fun. I am taking the kids and Mr Dom away for a few nights over spring break and Mr Dom and I will staycate in the city alone for a night.

Had a couple of days out with friends + kids. Peddle boats. oh yes! And a city trip tomorrow to wear out their little legs.

I plan to buy some garage floor paint and paint my concrete patio slab. I don't have time for much more than that. Also working on the re-fi and ever so close to finishing class, getting ready for my final presentation.

I got some tickets for a comic-con. My first one ever! I have done a couple of ... can't think of the word...get dressed up in costume with like-minded fans and pay huge amounts of money for photo ops.

Mr Dom says he is a bit crap at organizing but is happy to come along if I find things I want to do and he prefers to drive which works for me. I have driven up and into the city quite a few times recently, I don't like it and fervently wish for better public transport, but I am getting the hang of it. It certainly is nice to go with someone who prefers to be in the driver's seat. I pretty much always drove when with Prof.

I occasionally miss the odd browse on OKC and round of sex with a different person but have no actual desire to rock the stable relationship and excellent sex with Mr Dom.
 
On Thursday night Mr Dom said he is considering ending our relationship as we are at different stages in life.
I recently found out that my ex has picked up 2 DUIs in the past 3 years, lost his license yet again, and so on. I have filled court papers to stop the kids from staying overnight. My understanding is I could ask for supervised visits only but I think he can manage to stay sober enough to have them in the afternoons and day-time at the weekend, but not overnights. I may, or may not, get this awarded by the court, but the language is pretty specific in the parenting agreement about documented evidence of alcohol abuse so I am thinking I will be able to keep the kids out of his way during prime drinking time.

The upshot of this will be I will have the kids every night and Mr Dom is not into the idea of creating a new family. I don't blame him at all. We have had a pretty good year so far of traveling, concerts, and loud sex. It will all end. There are of course ways to lessen the impact, he has an RV that we could park up the road, I can pay more for a sitter, but the reality is that I will be doing this alone for at least a year. Mr Dom married a woman with a son many years ago and now his youngest child is 26, he has grandchildren close in age to my kids as he started in the family business long before I did. So, I really do understand his reluctance to get heavily involved with a single parent again, and if I were him I wouldn't be so keen either.

I am sad about it but not trying to fix it or offer solutions, that's what a year of therapy can offer :) I think this is the beginning of the end, I have put myself through the stress of trying to make relationships "work". But, fundamentally he is right, he can travel, has a lot of free time off work but my time and energy limits will be even more restricted than they are now. And should my application not be granted by the court? I think the damage is still done, unless he comes out and says that we will make the best of it for a year and reassess then.

I will certainly miss all the running around that I do but my main motivation in life are my kids and I will drag them kicking and screaming to Comic-Cons and places with no Wi-Fi. :D

The house re-fi should close this week or next.

The end of my class is coming up soon. I am working a lot on my project and preparing for my presentation, then I will swear off school for a few years.

My plan for full-time single parenthood is work on my fitness and do some house projects. I planned to do stuff over spring break and instead had 5 nights away.;)

Things will be fine.
 
Still holding on there with Mr Dom...just about.

We had a mostly fun weekend. The part of the weekend that involved cruising around the event was fun, the parts in between felt stressful and uncomfortable. Mr Dom has been open in saying that he is very stressed and "in a bad place." The upshot of this, is his frustration is spilling over onto me over very simple things that don't warrant his level of irritation and he admits he is taking it out on me. I have been open in pointing this out and not doing my usual trick of blaming myself for not being good enough. It is hard not to take it personally and it is becoming wearing. I estimate it has been well over a month of this behavior. He says he has these periods of depression, depression in the sense of feeling sad, stressed and overwhelmed. He says it will pass and he don't need professional help but it got to the point on Saturday where I had had enough of walking on egg shells and he said he wanted to take a break from hurting me. He is taking till Weds or Thursday to have a think about our relationship and if he wants to continue or not. This is on top of the previous time out over my potential change in parenting time.

Oddly for me, I am fine with this. I have come to terms with not needing to have answers or any particular definition to my relationship with him. I am fine to cruise along and see how it goes. At this point I would rather be with him in some capacity than without because while he is somewhat annoying right now, the sex is excellent and I am in a place where I am not taking his frustration too much to heart. If I get to the point where it is more hurtful to be with him than fun then I will reassess then. That moment might come in the next hour or well down the road.

I am not chasing, pursuing, tempting or anything else to try and get him to stay with me. I clearly state that I love him and hope we can work something out but I am not bugging him to make his mind up or define what I mean to him like I wanted Prof to do.

Speaking of Prof... we text occasionally, he still invites me to go out with him. The re-fi should be closing in the next week or so, and I can let communication drop almost entirely. I am still on his phone plan with a contract for about 6 more months and wish to remain civil as I want to take the number when the contract expires.

I discussed poly and non-monogamy with my therapist last week. I think it is more suited to my personality than monogamy in many ways but not currently suited to my parenting duties. I did bring it up in a roundabout way to Mr Dom, the idea of having occasional sex partners which is not poly but non-monogamy. I don't think he thought I was serious and I didn't push it.
 
It has been a while!
I finished all my classes and got so sick of typing and self-reflecting that I gave up blogging for a while.
Mr Dom and I broke up: technically it was me that pulled the trigger but I think it was one of the those situations where the other person makes it impossible for you not to.
We are currently "friends." A new experience for both of us. We talk and text all day M-F until we finish work then it stops and very little contact over the weekend. It seems to be working for us both. Apart from him wanting to see me tomorrow, Monday and I don't want to see him in person. The kids and I saw him a few weeks for a dog drop off and I still lust after him. So no meet till I have turned that part of my brain off. It is easy to wiggle out of because I am work.

I caught up with Eeyore over the summer We are occasional sex partners. That seems to be fine.

Prof reappeared on the scene asking if I knew about the crazy stories being put around by Ms WP and her friend. "Um, yes." He is filing various civil suit/s against them for defamation or whatever grounds he has. He says Ms Tattoo has never set foot in his house and gave his version of all the stuff I had heard. It does sound like I was dragged into "angry ex-girlfriend drama." We have had a few really open conversations and he has apologized for much of his behavior.

He made a $10k donation to one of my projects. I got to tell my work what to spend it on. What a moment that was :)

I broke up Mr Tulip, he was in my sig. He thought the sex was amazing, it was for him! He was such a pillow princess. He also kept asking me for professional work related advice which I gave. Then he would accuse me of preaching. I let him do that twice then said Buh Bye Felicia.

I have been on Tinder and yet to meet anyone in the actual flesh. I had heard about the crazy flakiness in the dating world but not experienced it yet. Well, out of say 6 first dates set up, not one has actually happened.
I did meet an OKC guy. MR Bond, I hope to see him again over the holiday but he is in the early days of divorce has full custody of the kids and an ex who doesn't show for visitation.

I am messaging a youngling who seems to want only to get into my pants. He has no game despite professing to be a poker player as his main job. But this has opened to the door for me at least looking at dating younger. I think 5ish years younger is ok.

I have a couple of meets set up for next weekend but...

As far as the poly/open thing goes. I have 0 interest in ever hearing about or meeting anyone's other people. I don't live with anyone and don't intend to live with anyone in the near future, so I have no need to know what people do with other people in their free time. I absolutely do not wish to explain my choices of partner or explain my schedule any more than " I am busy." Three lover people seems to be a good number for me with at least one of them being very regular.

That's enough for now. But it feels nice to write again.
 
Mr Dom got me a Christmas gift and left it at my house while I was at work. It was quite a drive out of his way. I hate it and I am so disappointed. Star Trek tree ornaments.
He had sent a pic of said item/s a few weeks ago and I said I really don't like them, creepy. I hate things with faces and eyes. He gave them to me anyway. I didn't know he had bought them at the time he had sent me the pic. I couldn't really hide my disappointment, I asked him for the receipt. He is the king of taking stuff back and has no issue with telling me he doesn't like stuff and returning it. I was sooo excited all day. I did actually refuse to meet him today because I wasn't ready to see him in person. I had asked him to come down over the weekend but he was "too busy" and I thought "screw that' so made myself unavailable today. My feelings were hurt over that too. I still have lots of feelings for him. the relationship got sucky but I haven't stopped caring.

I feel so bad about being disappointed. It's the though that counts," and all that. All his previous gifts have been awesome, which was why I was so excited. It feels more than a let down gift, it feels like the relationship is really over.
 
I took the ornament offs the tree and put them on a shelf, then I liked them.
I don;t like junk on my tree. It is not a thing of amazingly decorated dtyle but I simply cant stand junky stuff on it. I do however, have the junky stuff on shelves etc and love it. I was quite a simple answer in the end.
I was talking to him about it this morning and he was very into describing why he picked then and why he thought they were fabulous. It was very sweet and I felt like a total heel for being the grumpy git last night.
We were backing to chatting today like normal.


I have two new OLD connections and another cancellation. Current scores is 0 for 7.
 
I think today will mark 0 for 12. And these are quite specifically of the type "Let's meet on Whateverday and I'll get back to you with a place and time."
I make suggestions, they make suggestions, it doesn't seem to make a difference to the ghosting rate as to who suggested meeting first.

I have had 2 recently where I have said "no thanks" and got rude messages in response. So I am going to mostly ghost too. Well, I thought I had ghosted on one of them but he kept popping up every so often, so I did the polite, "too far for me" and got "Fuck you" in return. We had not met and had only a brief text exchange.

I still have one or two last potentials still out there in "reschedule" world. I literally got a message while typing this that today's lunch needed to be rescheduled! I had already assumed it would be cancelled so had included it in my 0 for 12.

I have heard every different type of excuse at this point.
One of my favourites was, "A family emergency that only a man could deal with." The minds boggles, was it a) pee write your name in the snow or b) donate a sample to a sperm bank? He did reschedule and flaked on that too. I later saw him on Tinder bemoaning people that want to write tons of "emails" before meeting. People still email on dating sites?
I am aware that one of the common denominators here is me. and I could be driving them all away.
So, OLD has been fun for a while, but it's now time to do something different. I asked Roomie if he wants to go into town tonight for a change of scenery. His OLD experiences are similar to mine; chat, chat, chat, suggest meeting, ghoooooost.
I also messaged Eeyore and he might be around tonight. ( Saturday ). I have noticed a pattern with the custodial fathers or not setting up/knowing sitters, of course that could simply be another excuse, but it seems genuine.
Mr Bond gave me the sitter excuse last night. But it was more of a polite way to say "thanks, but no thanks." One of his kids is almost 19 and in college. She doesn't want to make some money or have a friend who wants to make money? I liked him. Oh well.

I am down to 2 irregular lovers at this point. I would still like someone to see more regularly.

What else is going on...I have decided to job hunt in the New Year. I am tired of the amount of hours that I put in. The H.R. department told me and my team leads the other day that everyone would get a pay raise if our department wasn't so costly. That conversation got back to the Big Cheese who said H.R. had no authority to say that, but the damage is done. I am sick of defending what I do on an ongoing and daily basis. That talk was the straw that broke the camel's back. I will join the line of commuters into the city, spend a lot of time in traffic, and get paid more to be a teeny tiny fish in a huge pond.

The kids' dad is the same as ever. I took him back to court over a 4th DUI and driving the children with no license, it took 8 months to actually get beofre a judge. The mediator's response was to recommend he get shared legal custody back and an increase in visit time????? I must admit to being extremely upset at that and hired a lawyer. However, the judge ordered a Drug and Alcohol Assessment and parenting classes before he could ask for a change in custody. The mediator hadn't read a page from the file, ( 45 days jail time ) and entirely fell for his "deprived dad" story. The judge hadn't read the file either and applied a formulaic answer, but I think it was a reasonable response. If he proves he has sobered up then I have no argument with splitting custody.

Looks like I have 12 o'clock meet n' greet. 1 for 11. :D
 
Meet n' greet was fine in the sense that we chatted amiably for 30 minutes and then I went to do my Xmas stuff and hang out with Roomie for an hour.

I came home to find the painter had "finished" with the doors and trim. I could have cried. He did a great job with the ceilings over the summer but I couldn't believe he actually considered himself finished with the doors and trim and the original 3 day job has dragged on for well over a week. I went and bought a can of paint myself and some brushes and spent the last 2 hours going over and basically applying a second coat to some areas. Some of the stair trim will need sanding back and the powder room downstairs may need stripping entirely. The tape ( which I removed myself ) pulled off sections of the latex paint. I'll see if my efforts are good enough tomorrow of if it needs an entire redo.

Mr Eeyore is sick and cancelled tonight. Whatever. Roomie pretty much backed out of plans to go out too. I took myself out to the local pub for their delicious mac bites because I strongly suspected I would be home alone tonight. I am a genius, Plan A and Plan B both cancelled.

I have one Tinder meet n' greet left out of the whole bunch. He seems up for meeting next Thursday after canceling today :rolleyes:.

I have no understanding of the current flaking behavior that seems prevalent. It is getting to the stage where the only people that I care to spend time with are my own children. They are good fun and mostly go along with what I plan! and I know I only have a few years left of that before they go "teen," and refuse to be seen with me in public.

I am going to book myself a trip to Alaska when I get paid next month. I need a trip to look forward too even if I only have 4 nights to do it in.:D
 
The Tinder Meet n' Greet was quite the experience. A local, who had very strong opinions on all types of local issues, not least the immigrants who were coming in and taking over ( Ummm...I am an immigrant! ). It was 45 minutes of my life that I will never get back. It got to the point where I sat and nodded and went "oh" a lot. There is no point in trying to reason or debate with that mindset.

I turned off Tinder, 2 meets out of 13, I think it was.

So back to Bumble and OKC.

I had been chatting and talking on the phone to someone that I liked. We set up a lunch meeting for was it Weds? When I went to confirm Weds morning, no reply. Next! But he texted today with a genuine medical excuse ( I kind of suspected it was why he had disappeared ) and a sincere apology. He can have one reschedule but that's the limit. And in defense he cooks, professionally. And I like eating food that other people have made :D.

I also have an OKC meet set up for tonight. I am fairly sure that will happen. Say 95%.

While all this is going on, I hear the word "manizer," which I have to google to define. It is the same as a "womanizer" but the other way round. Gender equality, how great is that! And then...ooooh am I a "manizer"? Add to that, seeing an OKC profile that starts with .... "What is with all the poly women on here?"
Much navel gazing and reflecting ensues.

The result is, that I feel the need to pursue some semblance of mono for a while. ( A while could be until later tonight ;P ). I have been thinking, yet again, around whether or not having multiple relationships is a good idea at this point in my children's lives. I also have court ongoing with my ex again and he would not hesitate in throwing out my life choices as being detrimental to the children. And based on my recent court experience where the young mediator deemed that 4 DUIs should not be held against the ex, really opened my eyes to how quickly things can go sideways. ( Fortunately, The judge did not agree with the mediator ).

I think I am "polyflexible," open and preferring more than one love and lovers but able to go mono when needed. I am just not sure how long I can mono ( as a verb ) for. Serial monogamy.

Sigh. This sucks.

I spent too much time today at work looking at how much I can jam into a 4 day trip when the flights take so long. I am tempted to put it off to the summer when I have more time, but I might be going for a major job change so is it best to do it now then later? No real rush to decide quite yet.
 
Last edited:
Last night went super well! Very nice man, smart, super fit.
I came to realise that I am very limited in my flirting skills and at one point just gave him a peck in the lips to denote my interest. As the evening went on, he said he wasn't very well and running a fever and asked if it was ok to go home; so there was no pressure to make out in the parking lot :eek: poor man.

We did have a nice chat about the dating world and what is going on from his perspective. I told him about my learning of the new word "manizer," and he agreed that there is a lot of straight up asking for sex from women that he meets on apps. I have heard similar from a few men. I find that I am guilty of painting men with the just-in-it-for-sex brush, when what I am hearing from a few males I know is that they aren't looking for a quick roll in the hay.

And this all fits in with my strategy for the New Year, less sex and more gym! So Mr Golf ( I am amazing with the names, :D ) said he would like to see me again. He worked through the week and we agreed on Thursday. He asked me to text when I got home. I liked his taking of the reins. It's reasonably true; if someone is interested they will act interested.

Mr Chef and I missed each other on the phone calls last night. We were chatting via text, mixing drinks and then he went quiet. I thought to myself that I am not going to push for a call, not after the mid-week disappearance, so I went to bed. He texted at 11:30pm asking "Is this a test?" Oh dear. I was waiting for him and he was waiting for me! I sent a message this morning saying I am willing to drive to him either today or tomorrow. He is very limited on driving distance.
And I am over the calls and messaging, I haven't even met him yet. Time time to move to the real world or move on.
 
I met Mr Chef yesterday. I can't remember the last time that I saw someone such a terrible color. Wow. He was the color of serious pain. He is a very nice man and probably would have been out of my league before the accident/injury. He says, however, that he has put on 25lbs ( about 11kgs ) which I feel is the low end of the estimate compared to his pics, and basically can barely walk. His insurance is not great and they won't do surgery for around a year.
I chatted with him for over an hour and a half. He has had some amazing culinary and restaurant experiences. Ach. I like him a lot but the distance alone...

I had a few weird texts with Mr Golf last night. He is sick. He sent chirpy texts (cause you cant tell people are sick when they text ) but was super weird on the phone and later texted that he didn't even remember talking to me. He had a fever yesterday but still went to work. He doesn't get sick days at work, so had to go in if he wanted to get paid. He was then heading the the E.R. to get antibiotics as he has crap insurance.

All this certainly made me appreciate my health insurance plan.

I have taken my OLD accounts down again today. I have no free time for almost 2 weeks. I did turn down one meet, the guy had one head pic and nothing at all filled in the profile. it took a while to whittle through the basic questions, and by then I had lost interest. One guy from a while ago popped up with a "hey". I had sent my number to him a while ago and told him to call. I didn't reply to him. Mr Bond sent a "What's up?" type of message. I told him I was going out to play pool and he should call if he wants to hang out.

At one point I was feeling like I am bit too pushy to meet, but then again I am paid at work a reasonably large amount of money to organize people and resources, its what I do, so dating those who are less enthusiastic about meeting or putting in effort aren't likely to work out in the long run anyway.
 
I got the "Thanks, but no thanks," message from Mr Golf.
At first, I was super disappointed to receive the message. I have put in a little time reflecting on it and have mostly got to the point where I don't see the need in trying to work out when or how it went wrong. Maybe I could have A) B) or C ) differently. But if I am the person who does A) B) and C) then he is right in saying we are not a good match. I also think he is the one who was a grumpy git yesterday after he finished work and sent the flirty texts, then he is sick, then sends flirty texts, then he doesn't remember that I called blah blah blah. But even if it none of that had happened, it might just have postponed the inevitable till the next time we met.

I have sent a few, "Thanks, but no thanks," messages of my own recently. The purpose of dating is to see how it goes and at least he let me know and didn't just ghost. Disappointed, but in the way you are when your ice-cream drops on the ground; bit of a bummer but forgotten in a day or so.

I am pretty much over OLD for the moment. I have decided to take a 4 week break. 4 weeks might not seem like very long to some, but I think it is a good length of time to start with.

And I will edit my signature. I don't think I am seeing anyone at all right now.
 
More like 4 hours. If nothing else, I don't give up easily :D:D:D
 
capucins estetica

Food porn...
Sticky date and toffee pudding cake bathed in caramel and butter sauce and a side of caramel and ginger sauce. Layers of hand made pureed dates...
I made custard to go with it tonight instead of eating dinner. There are no words to adequately describe it.

Vegetarian enchiladas with mole ( can't work out how to add the accent over the e ) with queso fresca. I haven't been able to pick them up yet. The photos are driving me nuts.

What am I supposed to do?????? The man looks like death warmed up, he is bored and willing to make whatever I want and he has offered a few times. I didn't ask for either of the above dishes. He made the pudding as an apology for flaking and the enchiladas because he thought I might like them.

Would it be wrong of me to say, "ravioli,"? Can you imagine? I can. :eek: It would be so wrong, yet so good. His stars do not come from yelp. I have never eaten a one star restaurant though it is on my list of things to do. I did find one that does vegetarian menus so I mostly just need someone to go with. As for three star restaurants? Way out of my budget and they tend not to look favorably upon those of us who don't eat meat. I have done a bit of research as i travel just to see what I can find. I do get that the whole star system is as much of a scam as many other things but for the experience of doing it just once...

He offered to make me meals for the week and on-going as long as I drove to pick them up. Like seriously, a chef from a 3 star restaurant background offering to make me and the kids dinner because he is bored and needs to "create." I might just take him up on it, though would need to discuss money. It would be the food experience of a lifetime. I should get the enchiladas first though. :D I wonder if he would make packed lunches, I hate doing the packed lunches :D:D:D I hope it lasts at least long enough for me to get the enchiladas. Dear God, please don't let me the "thanks, but no thanks" text before that moment. I am on a bit of a food porn high and really quite star struck!
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top