Sailing Solo

Second meet/first date with Mr Chef.
He threw out the enchiladas :eek: as they were "stale." Could you not freeze them? He said the dish would lose its integrity if frozen. The man has no idea :confused:
So when I arrived he had some friends there, he mixed me a drink and I am half way into when I realize I am too drunk to drive, he says I am welcome to stay over so I have another one. I then lost interest in food so we went out to a swanky restaurant/piano bar place where he knew the manager, and we had another drink and he ordered take out. 3 drinks and I was toasty. There was some making out but nothing much else. Which was good. We had already both agreed that if I stayed over there wouldn't be any sex.
He went out this morning, very early, and got coffee and pastries, we chatted over breakfast and then I went to work. I texted him a "Thank you and I had fun," and then... silence.
By the time it was 6 hours later I was fairly sure that the next message I received was going to be a "thanks but no thanks" but you what? I didn't text him first. I waited it out. It was actually very difficult not to initiate but I really didn't want to chase and I am working on cooling my intensity with new people.
I decided to go for a nap because not texting was so challenging. He sent me a "Me too!, Whoops I forgot to press send earlier," message. We had a couple of brief messages but I am going to keep it very low key over the weekend.
Haha he just sent me a couple of messages.
I think it's fair to say things are going ok.
 
"People" laugh at me because of my desire to have a set of relationship guidelines to follow. I have been like this for years, not at all happy with idea of "go with the flow." I have probably written about it here multiple times. Asking why people and relationships don't come with handbooks.
My boss has taken to referring to me as the policy expert at work. I do really enjoy that type of work and seeing her put it into text helped me connect work interests and personal relationships.

I have been trying to keep calmer with Mr Chef, not to fall into NRE and overwhelm him with communication. The couple of times when I did purposefully stop texting yesterday he initiated a few hours later.

We had some fun banter while the kids and I were making pizza. As my older child said, the bases turned out "awkwardly shaped." But we had fun in the kitchen together. Mr Chef was sending pro-tips via text. "You are using semolina to stop them sticking to the stone that has been preheated to 500?" And "don't pin your dough unless making paper-thin flatbread type bases." I sent him a text pic of younger kid rolling out a triangular shaped base. I pretty much think we did nearly all of it wrong. Prof used to be in charge and had a wire mesh base tray which held the dough in shape. But how bad can things covered in tomato sauce and cheese be? Not bad at all. :D

I am trying to work out if he is a "playa," does he plan to hit-it-and-quit-it? I am not sure. there seem to be some positive signs, he got a friend to get him a new set of duvet covers and help make the bed. People in the service industries do make beds look fantastic! He has hired a cleaner and ordered new furniture for the living room, throwing out all the old and mismatched stuff ( I told him to call the Goodwill for pick-up ). I am interpreting this as a good sign, that he wants to impress me? And no, in no way have I said or indicated in anyway that he needs to do this for me. The first time I went to his house he kept saying he was so embarrassed. I don't know why, it wasn't dirty and definitely not untidy.

Anyway, I am still clicking around on Bumble, and a little on Coffee meets Bagel ( which is soooo slooooow ) so as not to put all my eggs in one basket.
 
I have been telling myself not to text Mr Chef too much and keep cool. It has not been a huge success. I have tried leaving larger gaps between the messages, but he will also text chit chat stuff and it drives me nuts not reply promptly if I have the time. I told him the texting will very much slow down this week.
He put the breaks on it himself by texting, a very long text, about his friend who is moving in for a few days and so he would be dealing with that and would be sidelined for a few days. He did already tell me about the friend and the issues so it wasn't a big surprise. The same wall o' text started with the words that he "planned on seeing you again," which I take as positive.
I don't know. My first flush of over-excitement is fading. He told me to google him. I did. But I am a lot better at research than he I could possibly imagine and using a rather creative route came across his POF profile. It says he is not looking for anything serious or any kind of commitment. I know that is a standard POF box to check, but I do find it off-putting. However, he also has the body type box of "athletic" checked. Yeah, no, that is in no way true. But this does confirm my "playa" type suspicions.
Well, I'll see if he does reappear in a couple of days.

On a different note, I do seem have to given up the recycling of ex-partners that was kind of inspired by Prof. I am still maintaining contact with Mr Dom but have not bothered with any of the others that I could potentially hit-up. I don't think keeping in contact with exs is going to be my cup of tea, I have tried it for a few years now and feel safe to safe, it just isn't my style. Also, I have no need to meet people and talk to strangers. I made it a New Year's Resolution a few years ago and really did make a big effort. Within the work context there is no choice, but in the social sense I have had enough of trying to be chatty and social. I like people one-on-one. I am heading towards stick shaking and telling young folks to get off my lawn.
 
I have no idea why the mind wanders to the worst case scenarios but it does.
I chatted to Mr Chef for 3 hours last night. It was fun! I put on my big girl pants and asked him about the weekend. He said he took for granted ( or similar verbage ) that we were seeing each other. I said I wouldn't assume something lie that. He asked about Thursday and I said I don't have Thursday this weekend and my other time is already taken. He was a bit surprised by that. I said I didn't want to be pushy and he was all about having the schedule with virtually nothing on it and visiting was entirely dependent on my free time.Pretty much whenever I wanted to see him he would make it work. That was good, got that cleared up.

We talked condoms and STD testing. We talked cooking. We talked some about how sex was going to work. I told him that he needed to work out that before I got there! He invited me to a family cabin for Saturday, it has hot pools and all sorts apparently. I said I was very keen but how did he plan to walk and is he sure about sticking his feet in hot water? So that plan got put on the back burner. He then suggested his friend's property for the night. I gather it is a large place, lots of rooms. I threw cold water on that too, but in a nice way.I said it is maybe a little too much pressure for first time sex to be at a strange house and we have no idea how much he can actually do.

Where is my issue for today? He deleted his Bumble account but not his POF. Any kind of speculation turned negative when I googled the difference between "Unmatch" and "Delete" accounts.
I am going with the worst possible explanation and I am thinking he meant to "unmatch" me but didn't know how and deleted his account instead. Taking the nuclear option.
I haven't heard from him all day. I sent a couple of texts at around 8 am about printing some paperwork for him. He actually has a pattern of not texting for long blocks of time, so that is not usual.

I put up and take down my OLD accounts regularly, sometimes multiple times in a day. I deleted Tinder entirely a week or so ago, but made a new account last night. I have written about my reason on here before; annoyed, can't be bothered, occasionally hiding!
oh oh another reason? He could have been having issues with someone else.

My first thought on the matter was. "How sweet, he must really like me!"
Closely followed by the negatives. How easy it is to fall down that deep dark hole.

But on the whole I think I am doing well and learning. I didn't keep on texting after he said he was busy. I didn't text today after the first ones this morning and I didn't contact him to ask what was up with Bumble. I am writing here instead. Air my dirty insecurities online. :D
 
I did not text. It's hard! I definitely have a touch of the NRE :D Or more realistically it is New Crush Energy.
I did have some dreams last night where he didn't call or text at all and it was fine. I went back to swiping. It's reassuring to know my subconscious is being sensible about things.
 
He popped up again. He has made apple caramel cheesecake with streusel. I told him there had better be some left for the weekend :D I then outright asked for a chocolate mousse. His response was that he makes a white chocolate mousse. I care not for the "is white chocolate actually chocolate or not" debate. It works for me.
He asked to call me last night and chat on the phone but I was busy. It's funny, I was slammed all day yesterday and into the evening and I could tell that he was wondering why I wasn't responding quickly.
Mr Dom sent me the simple " busy?" text as I wasn't chatting with him either. Definitely being a little unavailable seems to create interest.

Mr Dom and I still chat nearly all day M-F. He was down in this area at the weekend with his "person", but also still has his Bumble account up, interesting. I declined to meet him and new person, but I would like to see him again soon. I miss the dog. :( I might ask to dog borrow in the near future.


I had an old Tinder person pop up tonight. Took a while to work out who he was. I had never met him, as I had never met 13 out of 15 Tinder people. I asked him to send a screen shot of our conversation. The conversation ended with him asking me for my number, I gave him my google voice number and that was it. Poof!
I called him on it. and he said he was seeing someone so didn't call me, he forgot, he has a bad memory and she was a "mofo." :eek::mad:
Well, now, let me get my diary and block off my next free time for us to meet. How could I resist a man who calls his most recent date a "mofo,"? I predict a nasty message or 2 in my near future. Actually, I'll just block now.

I have a pretty full weekend planned. A night in a cabin tomorrow, karaoke, mani/pedi, and Mr Chef!
 
I am going to write about the little feels.
He didn't call last night at the prearranged time at 9 pm. I sent a text at 9:15 pm then went to bed, pretty disappointed. I get up this morning and think about if I ever don't make a promised call, yes, and if people don't make calls to me, yes. I left work yesterday with a couple of unmade calls on my list and I had a few that took me a couple of days to get round too. So, going straight fro "he didn't call on time," to "this will never work" is maybe a bit drastic, but that is what I was thinking.
Then I check my email. He didn't message till a little after 10pm, but it was to say he had left his phone in his friends car and could we Facebook Messenger instead?
How does one not mentally go to the worst case scenario? I wonder if it is my gut saying this is not a good fit, but so far he hasn't actually done anything wrong or out of the ordinary. It is my expectations that are borderline unreasonable. I think I am doing mostly OK with it not spilling out and keeping it in check. But how can it be me being unreasonable????? it must be them :D:D:D
Actually he did ghost right in the beginning for 3 days. Flaked on the meeting. Ok. I have grounds.
 
Things have been fine for the past few days, messages and phone calls.

I drove down to see him yesterday and we made dinner. Wow! but he has crazy knife skills I suppose all chefs do, but it was amazing to see up close.
Sex was not great, condom issues and he said the hadn't actually had sex in over a year. So definitely some nerves at play. He ended up not cuming. We took a little break and didn't get back to it. During the break things got a little odd. And yes there was drinking.

He keeps asking me how I got one his email addresses and I keep saying you sent me a message first and replied using it. He said no, he didn't use that account for anything but legal stuff. and I am like ( shrug) I just press reply and I don't know. I couldn't access that account from my phone because I couldn't remember the password ( it is saved in Chrome ). When I got home a short while ago I checked, and it was the very first message that he sent to me came from that account. Then he said he was talking to his friend from a different city who knew me. I said I don't think I know anyone from there. Then he clarified that his friend knew about my job and it was a bit of a deal. I got a weird look about that. Like why hadn't I told him. I have told him about my work, I am not big deal and have no desire to be a big deal.

He asked me how many boyfriends I have got. It felt the angle he was going at with that question was why would I bother with him with the health issues. I told him I am very attracted to people that know more stuff about certain things than I do.

Then it was, they had tried to google me, his friend thought I was an insurance claims adjuster out to get Mr Chef because I don't have an online presence. I said well what name did you use? And he was using my married name. It all felt a bit weird and that I needed to prove who I was, and the irony is not lost on me that I had fun googling him the other day. I told him we could pull up my work site and I am listed on there and the kids birth announcements are available online. I ended up going to bed definitely a bit annoyed and he fell asleep in a chair in the living room. It was very cold. He has one small electric heater working as the main heating is currently awaiting repair. I tried at least 3 times to get him up to come to bed but he was fast asleep. I put a blanket over him. In the morning he was in major pain took some pain meds and said he was going to sleep till probably 1pm. Which is his pattern.
I left at 8:30 am. He obviously wasn't in the mood to talk. I said I would still like to see him again and he said he thought I was really angry. I said I wasn't angry but some stuff felt accusatory. I repeated some of the stuff from last night and he said that is not what he said. I said he has brought up the email thing a few times and it is weird.

So tl:dr. Aren't these early days supposed to easy? What is with all the effort? I wouldn't be surprised to get the "Thanks, but no thanks" text later today.

Why do I repeatedly get into these "misunderstandings"? It seems not unlike how things went with Mr Golf.

Can be purely be the alcohol? I was a bit tipsy but definitely not drunk. He drank a lot more than I did.

Dating is tough!
 
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I just called but he didn't answer.
I have an unanswered text, an email and now a phone call out. I probably reek of desperation at this point. I am just not so patient as to wait for the hammer to fall. I am so negative about the situation. It will be a self-fulfilling prophecy if I don't get a grip.
I was chatting to my friend and she said she thought it was typical me behavior. Going for a man who is pretty much unavailable, he can't drive, lives an hour away, has significant health and pain issues, is awake most of the night and sleeps for most of the day. She says I do it to keep my mind busy, it keeps life interesting and he is really not a good fit. I absolutely agree. I said if I could pack up and leave then I would to shake up my life then I would. She said her mum is the same. Just leaves when she didn't like a situation anymore. But I can't because of the divorce. So I create man chaos and to some degree work chaos, in the sense that I like to change jobs every few years. It is the boredom of living in a small town. I need to work on contentment and gratitude for where I live, but it's driving me nuts.
 
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I sent a cheery text this afternoon to Mr Chef about meeting for a small plate and drink. No reply.
Ah well.
I am in the place where I want to throw it all up in the air and just move! So frustrating. I am trying to count my blessings, appreciate how fortunate I am in so many ways, but, but, but...the frustration of being stuck in a 25 mile area is driving me nuts and there is nothing I can do about it.

What can I shake up? Work. I phoned a colleague about a reference, she is pretty shocked but willing. I will submit my ones that are a year out of date but ask write in my cover letter why they are a little old.

I don't know what else. I am not signing up for any classes. I mostly feel like doing lots of sex. I called Eeyore and left a message. I miss having multiple long term lovers. Commitment without the escalator and I get to spread my intensity. I just swiped right on a picture of a man with a bunch of dead fish, on purpose. Oh dear :p
 
Still no reply.
I went the route of focusing on the negatives and am now fine with it. The lack of mobility and distance would have started to drive me nuts after not too long. I am not sure how many days of nights of staying I could take of staying in. Last weekend I had great fun at the cabin, lots of sex, walking around, a very nice restaurant and sitting at the bar in a cheap diner. That is not going to happen with Mr Chef.

I do wonder though, if getting the "thanks, but no thanks" text is the better way to end things. I am leaning towards "yes." I would rather know right now that he has had enough rather than wonder if it is medical.

Personally, I do not plan to send any more of those type of messages, I plan to mostly ghost due to the pretty awful reactions I have received. I di re-up my google voice account and back to being very paranoid about releasing identifying information.
 
Part 1 of 3
Let's see. A couple of prospects...
Mr Net: younger, looking for friends and maybe benefits. :rolleyes: Sure. I might be interested in the benefits part! Depends on my mood.
Mr Gun: Out of the country for a couple more weeks but lives very close by.
Mr Bike: Also lives close by, might meet me on Sunday.
Do I admit what else I have been up to, or more accurately, who? Prof. NO ATLANTIS, NOOOOOOOO.

Yup. A whole lot of story going on there. The short version is : I got taken in by vengeful ex-girlfriends. My relationship with Prof was so terrible at the time and they had so much believable information and there were 3 of them, including one I considered a friend of sorts, that I took it all in and worse than that spread the stories as the gospel truth.
So what happens now? I have been slowly, slowly telling a few people what I know as the story unfurls and is backed by proof. The sad fact is, I was taken in and spread the stories because I found them so believable. I am embarrassed and ashamed but also aware that at the time Prof was treating me like shit and had been for really years and I had put up with the gaslighting and crumbs.

Yeah for therapy! While I am not a whole new person, I am more aware that people offer, and do, only what they want and can. You enjoy the good times with a person until the bad times weigh more. That's why I ended it with Mr Dom. I was more hurt at the refusal and avoidance to spend time and travel than I enjoyed the time together. Same with Mr Tulip. A pretty short fling but the things about that I found annoying overtook any fun parts very quickly. But with Prof I just took more and more of his rejection and tried to be whomever I imagined would be good enough to keep his attention.

So we have been working on things for quite a while. Very slowly. He has actually been the pursuer this time around. I haven't let him see the kids in over a year. It took me a long time to tell him what I knew and I only told him because things were turning legal over the chaos that the exes had created.

And this hard to admit here, on this website. The place where I have shared pretty much everything up until around the time I started meeting and talking with Prof again. I have been thinking about coming clean for ages. Confession and apology. Coming out as once again seeing the man that was driving me nuts and I complained about endlessly and despite everyone telling me to dump his ass. And I have no idea how to tell Best Friend or Roomie. Both of them were glad to see the back of Prof. They felt he treated me awfully and I am sure were sick of hearing me complaining about him. It will be hard for them to believe things are different. It;s hard for me which is why I am going so slowly. If you have been a reader for a while please feel free to PM or comment. I can take it!
 
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Part 2 of 3
Best Friend has shared that while she thought Prof was ok her hubby didn't like him, said he had a huge ego and was always trying to one-up. I dont know how she will take it. Probably disappointed.
Roomie also finds him arrogant and thought he Prof treated me poorly. He will be pretty shocked.

I have kind of told the parents. Prof was dying to see them over Thanksgiving. He asked and asked and worked super hard to try and schedule but he was out of town then "busy". He literally saw them for 20 minutes as they were leaving for the airport, but he did see them. He wanted to do pub pints with dad but I purposefully didn't let that happen. I didn't invite Prof to Thanksgiving but I did invite him to trim the tree because I knew he wasn't able to make it. Playing games? Yes. but I am wasn't ready for him to be around the kids.
The parents take is that they always thought he took good care of me and the kids.

I have been talking a little but to the kids here and there about things, on kid level. "Some people told me mean things, I believed them, I never asked Prof if it was true, I am sorry that I didn't speak to him about." Little bits here and there. Youngest kid I think will be fine, oldest kid is not so sure.

Why do I come clean now? Reading other people blogs. Hiding the truth from self and others.

I eloped with my ex-husband. I pretty much hid that relationship from day 1 to the day I ran away from him.

Prof has been asking about seeing the kids and we worked out a plan last night. I called him today to clarify and we seem to be on the same page. The big difference this time around is I am not bothered and pushing for anything. We rarely text, a few flurries here and there with days of silence between. I don't ask for time. We did put Wednesdays back on the calendar a while back. I am letting Prof drive this time. I asked him how he pictured being reintroduced to the kids and then why would I do that considering how up and down our relationship has been?
Over time I have shared with Prof a little about my Rainbow Sparkle Chocolate Covered Boyfriend experience with Mr Dom and how I enjoyed that. How I enjoyed having a boyfriend who was proud to be with me.

As I have written here Mr Dom and I text and talk multiple times a day.
The kids adored Mr Dom and still do. I haven't cut them off from him. We might borrow the dog over Spring Break. Mr Dom and I are kind of planning a summer road trip, if schedules align. He named 3 or 4 places the other day on the phone where he would like to go and which airports to use. So he has been thinking about it.

Back to me not chasing Prof... The bottom line for me introducing Prof to the kids again is the same as anyone else I meet and date, it will be around 6 months and the New Person will be fairly integrated with me and things seem stable. I also said to Prof, the new New Person whom I next introduce will be a "boyfriend" type. I am not letting the kids see me multidate anytime soon.
 
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Part 3 of 3
Prof has some shelving wood that he keeps offering to use to put up shelves for the kids with kid#2 as a tools and building project. I have skipped around it for a number of weeks. And yes in case you are wondering, Is this a type of manipulation? Yes. But also holding my boundaries. I know what I want and I am not really willing to bend.

Last night we agreed to some steps, I let him propose them but they have been raised before. 1) Shelf project as friend with kids. 2) Spend one of the upcoming long weekends together, all weekend, doing normal stuff, shops, clean cars etc. 3) Add in a few late night tv nights at my house.
The idea is to shift from high intensity and active dates to the more regular and less stimulating. He and both suffer from the need for high levels of input.

Then, at an agreed point, the date has been picked to be one that is currently uncertain and depends on a number of non-relationship based factors, maybe 4-6 months? Anyway, at the time, we will convene to discuss if we are both willing to move toward a more boyfriend/girlfriend (bf/gf) type model and for a camping trip with the kids.
We do both agree that any bf/gf situation will not involve moving in together or joint bank accounts. But maybe it will be a Hierarchical Primary type model ( oh the shame from a solo-poly ).

In the meantime I will continue to meet people. That part of the conversation was bit unclear. Prof asked if I was involved with anyone presently and I said no. I know he is seeing people because I saw him with a lady friend at the weekend and there are always lost and found clothes at his house. Ugh. I have asked him not to ask me about left over clothes unless he is pretty sure they are mine. These days I call him on his shit. I am not putting my meeting of people on hold in the hope that in 4-6 months Prof and I will be at the point where I met his brother, sister and kids as g/f and not "Whatever you want to call yourself."
I see him on Tinder and Bumble with pics I have taken, same for Mr Dom. :rolleyes: Like really? Most of the pics you consider flattering and show you as a fun adventurous person are things that I planned :rolleyes: I roll my eyes a lot in real life too. ;)

Prof keeps repeating that during the time we weren't speaking that life was a lot less interesting. He said he doesn't know anyone and didn't know anyone who would participate in or think up the things. He sent me pics of his euro vacation in the summer. What a coincidence that he was there the same time I was! Last night he said he thinks I am "Amazing." Absence made the heart grow fonder. I think about him bringing my cake box back with all the Valentines treats in it last year. He shows affection with gifts. He has offered to help me install a "nest" thermostat as I keep leaving me heating on. Offering to do the shelves, offered to put in wall socket USB charger plate thingies. He already did one in my kitchen a few years ago. And the big thing? He was leaving me a hidden key and I would replace it until a couple of weeks ago he said to just hang onto it. The key thing was huge for me a couple of years ago. Now I don't care. I have developed the attitude of expecting only what he is willing to give, people show you willingness by their actions. You ask for something once or twice, if you don't get it then they don't want to give it. Be it time, affection, kind words, commitment, whatever. And this all comes from therapy, so that was money and time well spent. And now that I am not asking for anything, and I actually took myself away completely for months, well, he seems quite into offering up.
And last thing, he asked me about putting the kid weekend schedule back onto his calendar. He has been keeping me off weekend time almost entirely, apart from trips. I believe it to be his form of payback for believing the ex-girlfriends and not going to him to ask about the tales of woe. But I have been having fun with my weekends so :p
Well, there you have it. I have come clean here but have no idea how to do it with my important friends and rest of the family. I feel like they will be so disappointed in my going back to someone who was, while financially generous, was emotionally stingy and often downright unkind. And Mr Dom would likely never speak to me again. Wow. I should have kept my mouth shut or at least did some investigating. I am so gullible.
 
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If you don't mind the question, why were three ex girlfriends vengeful enough to collaborate on character assasination?

Leetah
 
One was a girlfriend who wanted monogamy and he said no. Also, he said he was moving house and she wasn't invited to the new house. One was an ocassional lover/sex partner who wanted more. The two lovers were broken-up with around the same time period. The other is friends with both of them. The one who called me is the friend.
 
Letting go is really hard. I have an on-again/off-again relationship with Blue. He treats me really well in certain ways but he usually treats me not so well when he has his new/shiny...then I'm more like a best friend/confidant with occasional benefits when he can't be with new/shiny. When the new/shiny is tarnishing or non-existent, then he's an extremely attentive/loving boyfriend. I don't consider him a boyfriend anymore.

My 2 cents from reading your blog - just tread carefully. I hope it works out for you.
 
Pink Pig: That is pretty much how I view the current situation, with a lot of caution. Seeing your name reminded me of the slap incident from a few years ago. I had forgotten about that.

Dating Updates
Mr Gun: I am 99.9% sure is a scammer. I really wanted to big time catch them in a lie but have just given up.
Mr Net: Neither one of us has bothered since the last chat.
Mr Bike: Meeting this afternoon at 4pm.
There is also Mr Cay, no date or time set up yet, but very local.

It is like job hunting. Keep applying and lining up the interviews until something good pops up.

What I find hard is not being the pursuer, there seem to be few men initiating. Mr Tulip from last year said he has entirely given up making the first move. Bumble only works if the woman makes the first move. And if I get into planning and scheduling mode, ugh. It is very hard for me not to push things along. After the Mr Golf and and Mr Chef disasters, I really need to put the brakes on after the initial few rounds of contact.
 
Mr Tile: Not the type that I usually go for, but what I usually go for isn't exactly working out terribly well, so I think I will see him again. He asked me out for next weekend and I said "yes." Very casual, walking and/or bikes. He offered to make dinner but I am not interested in that quite yet.

Even though he is 2 years younger than me, he is in the position of having adult children. Same as pretty much every man I meet in my age range.
I don't regret having my children at the age I did but it does impact dating options and I am still a few years away from not paying for a sitter.

On the plus side he lives slightly less than a mile away! No need for sleep overs too early. I will order some new lights for my bike and it's an easy ride or walk if I take the side streets.
 
Only you can decide what's best for you... but I have to say that if you're that ashamed to tell people that you're sorta-ish seeing Prof again, then it's worth considering what that means. Plus, the idea of him pushing interactions with your kids when you've clearly said that you don't want to introduce him back into their lives until you've built trust is already a red flag.

If you're having fun, have some fun. But it sounds like you could easily get roped back into something that you're already not very comfortable with.

An important thing that I've read and been trying to practice in my own dating life.... if it's not a "fuck, yes!" it's a no. If you're not excited and enthusiastic about a person, then chances are it won't get any better with time.
 
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