Self love= self pleasure?

Miriam223

New member
For a while I have been wondering how other people get to know themselves and how they figure out how to do a self plesure things like masturbation? Who told you about masturbation? Was it brother/ sister or a good friend? Or maybe you have talked about it in the family?
As I grew up in the family in which no one talked about sex and self pleasure, I have been interested in masturbation lately. I have found several studies about this autoerotic activity and I have decided to make a research in this topic.

I have made a survey called "Attitudes towards masturbation", I would appreciate if you would take a part in it (it takes about 6-7 minutes)

Here is the link to the survey:

Thank you very much! :)

P.S. Also, would be great to know your first experience with masturbation
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Hello Miriam223,

I took your survey, it wasn't difficult, it took about 18 minutes to do. I hope my input will help you in your research.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 

TXretired

Active member
All done. First time as a Youngen. Touching down yonder. Gee that feels good. Went from there. Folks taught it was sinful.
 

Evie

Kaitiaki
Staff member
It would have been better with some open ended questions to clarify certain things. E.g. one cannot discuss these things with a sibling if one does not have siblings. Also, the notion of discussing masturbation with someone when first encountering it, vs. discussing it with someone 30 years hence is not provided for.
 

Miriam223

New member
It would have been better with some open ended questions to clarify certain things. E.g. one cannot discuss these things with a sibling if one does not have siblings. Also, the notion of discussing masturbation with someone when first encountering it, vs. discussing it with someone 30 years hence is not provided for.
Thank you for your suggestions! :)
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
For a while I have been wondering how other people get to know themselves and how they figure out how to do a self plesure things like masturbation? Who told you about masturbation? Was it brother/ sister or a good friend? Or maybe you have talked about it in the family?
As I grew up in the family in which no one talked about sex and self pleasure, I have been interested in masturbation lately. I have found several studies about this autoerotic activity and I have decided to make a research in this topic.

I have made a survey called "Attitudes towards masturbation", I would appreciate if you would take a part in it (it takes about 6-7 minutes)

Here is the link to the survey:

Thank you very much! :)

P.S. Also, would be great to know your first experience with masturbation
What is your intention with this survey? Is it just for personal use, or for a class at university? If it's just for your personal information, why don't you ask your questions on the board?

I started a thread here once called Is Masturbation Sex? You might want to do a search for it. You'll get a lot of good info there that people willingly shared. We are all anonymous here.
 

Miriam223

New member
What is your intention with this survey? Is it just for personal use, or for a class at university? If it's just for your personal information, why don't you ask your questions on the board?

I started a thread here once called Is Masturbation Sex? You might want to do a search for it. You'll get a lot of good info there that people willingly shared. We are all anonymous here.
This is for my Bachelor`s thesis as a final research to graduate from university. I will do the search, thanks :)
 

SarahD

New member
I can not get past question 8 because I'm in multiple committed relationships but not married to anyone.
 

Miriam223

New member
I can not get past question 8 because I'm in multiple committed relationships but not married to anyone.
Then you should pick first choice of aswer - married or in a commited relationship. The answer you described corresponds to this statement. It is not necessary to be married as you are in commited relationship ;)
 

Evie

Kaitiaki
Staff member
I guess here is a good place to put a few thoughts about discussing masturbation.

When I was of the age that I first discovered masturbation, I did not have someone to discuss it with. It had never been mentioned in any of my sex education books or talks, at home or at school, and I didn't know how to bring it up with a friend, although there was one friend who was more comfortable with it and eventually brought it up with me. I think I'd vaguely heard jokey references to boys going blind, but I didn't actually understand what that meant. I was about 11 when masturbation became a nightly ritual. I never spoke to anyone about my own practices or even really discussed masturbation in the abstract. It was finally a boyfriend who got me talking about and engaging with self stimulation during sex.

Later in life, I am very happy to discuss masturbation with appropriate people, including toy recommendations or preferred techniques. I have been quite detailed when talking with my long distance partner. I can imagine I will get to an age where I am less inclined to discuss it again as I have fewer friends who would care to have those conversations. But I had some really great chats with my bff in our 30s. 30s are a fun time for becoming less inhibited in conversations and caring less about being judged.

I'm still pretty early into 40s overall, plus the social retardation that is a product of Covid restrictions means I kinda feel like I'll have a bit of catching up to do on the socialising with friends front and comparing life experiences at this age.
 

Emmjay

Member
Great thread Miriam!

Looking back, I found that guilt with touching myself may have been implanted from the womb. If you did it, you didn't talk about it and you sure as hell didn't discuss it. I remember feeling like I was really doing something wrong and going to one of my sisters and her answering with: "Ewwwwwww!" My father came in and asked what was going on. (Big Catholic). I told him I was doing something really bad and his answer was, "Well, stop it."

So there was that. When the hormones hit and along with it, my fuck you attitude. (No offense, but much offense to all at that time,) I no longer cared and explored.

I made sure to remove any guilt from my own daughter and we had the sex talk with a positive spike on masterbation. I think it's important to know yourself. How can you teach others how to pleasure you, if you don't know how?
 

Millhuas

Member
This is for my Bachelor`s thesis as a final research to graduate from university. I will do the search, thanks :)
Might want to make an edit in the forward on this post elaborating that. Which BTW, bold and brave of you for doing sex positivity as a thesis!! Rock on!!

Also, I don't remember really when I first started.
 
@Evie
30s are a fun time for becoming less inhibited in conversations and caring less about being judged.

Love that statement. Hopefully it carries well into my 40s, 50s, 60s.

I've enjoyed masturbating in front of my past partners. We've even recorded each other.

Not only is it fun and exhilarating, but also educational. We've learned a lot about our likes and dislikes.
 

locha

New member
For a while I have been wondering how other people get to know themselves and how they figure out how to do a self plesure things like masturbation? Who told you about masturbation? Was it brother/ sister or a good friend? Or maybe you have talked about it in the family?
As I grew up in the family in which no one talked about sex and self pleasure, I have been interested in masturbation lately. I have found several studies about this autoerotic activity and I have decided to make a research in this topic.

I have made a survey called "Attitudes towards masturbation", I would appreciate if you would take a part in it (it takes about 6-7 minutes)

Here is the link to the survey:

Thank you very much! :)

P.S. Also, would be great to know your first experience with masturbation
Hi,

I noticed the survey was still open, so I answered it. Hope my input is still useful.

As with my first experience with masturbation, I remember it all started online. I was part of an online discussion message board, and there was one thread about masturbation. People were commenting how great their experiences were, and I felt really curious about it. I had not done it before, and all of a sudden, I wanted to do it.

So I took a shower and did it right there. I liked it and haven't stopped ever since.
I felt guilty at first, but eventually I discovered how essential it is in my life. I'm currently married, and I'm still doing it. It's a way of keeping an intimate relationship with myself. Self-love doesn't go away once you're married.
 
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