Simultaneous NRE

Yay! Sounds like you needed to stop being the strong one for everyone else and just do something for yourself... which is incredibly hard when your first response is to be there for someone. Glad you found your oxygen mask. Now keep breathing! :p

Glad Miss Pixi's trip went well, too - that must be a nice pick-me-up for the both of you. :)
 
D even asked if we could get together again. If he could come see me/us. He acted like we could just sit and talk, smoke a bowl... Ha! I know we'd not be able to keep our hands off each other, and told him, and he admitted that was true. So, not gonna happen. But it sure was fun to feel wanted.

Now on to more ethical, available men. Still having nice chats with Maine Guy. He has a gf of 3 months, no one else at the moment. We write long PMs on okc and are getting comfy with each other.

Also, I messaged Leatherguy to see why he hadn't responded to my last Sunday's PM. Thankfully, he wrote right back, citing busyness at work. He gave me his cell number, said that was an easier way to keep in touch, and he definitely wanted to keep chatting.

So, I texted him a bit later in the day, around 6. He seemed to have free time and we chatted about an hour. First, we set up a plan for a date on August 12. He is going to take the train here. I didn't understand why he wasn't able to drive here. Then I started asking him questions about his life, and I found out he's just out of a LTR (so maybe she's got the car?), they have a 2 year old daughter, he is living with friends right now, but might set up house in the shop he owns and operates, since it has a working bathroom and kitchen. He also might set up a "back room" in his shop to sell the leather fetish gear he makes.

I asked if he was involved with anyone else right now, and he said yes, one person he's known a while, and one new.

And here is the funny part: at one point in the day, Maine Guy (who I'd told about Leatherman) said, Leatherman is chatting up his gf! Small poly world, hehe. So maybe that is really why Leatherman didnt chat me for 4 days, he was busy chatting her up!

Leatherman also told me he is "very poly," which is kind of a trigger for me, what with Ginger's proclivities in that area. But Leatherman is 50 miles away and will probably remain a rather casual arrangement, if it gets off the ground at all. So, it shouldn't matter to me if he's dating 1,2 or 5 people. He also said he and his past gf started off poly, then closed the r'ship. Maybe at her request? Because now it seems he's happy to be out there, back to dating and exploring several new people at once.
 
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Sigh... I am still so sad from the breakup. It's only been 3 weeks! And miss pixi is just go go go. Now she's agreed to have a camp friend of hers stay here for a while. This woman is relocating from down south to our state and is now househunting and job hunting. She's perfectly nice and all. But I just want to sit around in a stained wife beater and sweats, and bring in takeout and leave the containers all over the floor.

And she brought her 2 dogs and cat. Who are all also perfectly nice.

And miss p invited my son over to go hiking and now it seems he's going to spend the night too.

In the words of Greta Garbo, I vant to be alone. I am heartsick. It's like a sickness. I need to get over it and I can't with all the friggin' activity going on, non stop. I told miss pixi this and she understands, but, she wants to enjoy the summer!

So I hid in my room all afternoon...
 
Magdlyn said:
Hi copperhead. I read your threads and blog to see what you meant comparing Salamander and Ginger, but I still don't see it. Ginger wasn't a liar. He is just "very poly." Maybe you mean that they both spend "too much" time chatting up others, at the expense of the devoted lover who wants more of their time and energy and focus?
Click to expand...

No…yes…maybe, is it the same thing? :D
I meant how they both seem to collect new crushes and have a need to have sex with new people. Also the way they don't seem to care how this affects other people. But I realized I hadn't talked about this side of Salamander a lot on this forum because I only realized it after the break up.
 
Mags I'll be your break up buddy. I have so much empathy for you right now. Hugs
I've started a new blog and in there, today, it is over between bassman and i.

I know it's for the best even if, in moments, it's hard to accept. I need to grow and find myself. He needs to really pull his head out (his words to me tonight).

PM me if you ever want to chat or talk or just have someone who knows exactly what you're feeling as your going through the grief process.
 
Thanks, alibabe. Good luck with all your issues.

In a few days it will have been 4 weeks since the breakup, and things are slowly feeling calmer around that. Receding into the distance. I now have a new appreciation for miss pixi too, her strong love for me, her constancy, her good communication skills, plus all we have in common, our shared interests and just the temperature of our lives.

Bit of drama with MaineGuy and Leatherman. Maineguy told me that L.man was going up to see MG's gf yesterday. So, in the morning, I texted L.man to ask what he was up to.

He said, he was on his way (bus, as he doesn't have a car for some reason) to MG's gf's city to "round up wholesale clients" for his wares.

Then a couple minutes later, he texts, "And hopefully fuck MG's gf into a coma." He used MG's okc screen name. Didn't just use her name. I mean, we all know each other's real names!

So, I found it disrespectful and a gross thing to say! Dissing to me, MG and MG's gf! And TMI to boot. Showing sketchy boundaries.

So, late yesterday afternoon, I get home from work and MaineGuy is telling me his gf is picking Leatherman up from the bus station, and they've planned for him to spend the night at her place. A planned sleepver on a first date, with some guy you've been chatting just a week or two? Not something I'd do. I don't even fuck on a first date, much less plan for an overnight.

So, anyway, long story short, Leatherman was seeming self centered and narcissistic anyway, in our chats. Never asking me questions about myself, just talking about himself all the time.

It would be nice to have some boy sex, but not with a guy with poor boundaries and a lack of tact. I just broke up with Ginger because he had those qualities!

I will tell Leatherman today our date is off and I have lost interest in him.

I just want peace and quiet! Get off my lawn, you kids!
 
So, I told Leatherman I was no longer interested. He figured out I was pissed about the "coma" comment and tried to explain and apologize, but that wasn't the whole problem, just part of it. So, he's toast.

I guess Maineguy's gf had fun with him, but MG is mad at her because she drove Leatherguy back home the next day, over 100 miles one way! I feel like Maineguy and I are becoming friends and so I have tried to be supportive.

I like him, we are a 99% match, but he is 150 miles way, so I am keeping things low key.

Meanwhile, poor miss pixi. Her "Master/bf" semi broke up with her on Saturday. Seems he is super stressed out at work. Plus he is an introvert and it is challenging for him to have friends over to his place. Plus, this is the first time he's really Domming someone and isn't sure about some of the nuances...

She is sad, but functioning, nowhere near the mess I was in over Ginger, because, it hasn't been that engrossing of a relationship. I sure hope it isn't over and he comes around!

We've been having fun hanging out with our houseguest when she isn't apt and job hunting. She is making progress on those fronts, and also gave us some $ for rent and food. She's so nice.
 
2 days ago miss pixi was going to see Ginger. She bought a gorgeous vintage bike at a thrift store a year ago, and it needs tuning up and customizing. She hasn't gotten around to that yet. Ginger loves to bike, wants a biking partner, and had offered to come get her, bring her and her bike back to his place, and work on it with her.

However, it was raining that day, and she really wanted to be with me instead of him, so she didn't finalize that plan and at 3:30 they decided not to do it.

I admit it felt weird to think of those 2 hanging out. I asked if she wanted to have sex with him, and she said no way. (Whew.)

Yesterday she told me every time she talks to him he asks how I am doing. (She just says "OK," or avoids the question altogether.) He also told her he thinks about me, "all the time." Interesting to hear this. It made me thoughtful all day. Ginger lives so in the moment (his "Dude-like" Zen attitude) I'd actually been wondering if he missed me at all, or was just content going on with Carla and David (if he's even still with them! I assume he is!).

Meanwhile the reality of missing her so-called Master is hitting miss pixi. The initial shock of being semi-dumped is wearing off and she was extra sad yesterday.

What also sucks for horny me is, what with having a houseguest and her sadness over her breakup, she's been totally without a libido. Our houseguest does go out a lot, and you'd think miss pixi would let me jump her the minute Houseguest goes out, but no. There's no spark. sigh... So frustrating. No bf for sex and no gf in the mood either! Argh!

So, I've been letting things heat up with MaineGuy. We've made tentative plans for him to visit in September. Gah. When I think on it, though, he's not even as good a match for me as Ginger was... Too far away, for starters! It would really have to be an occasional thing. We do have fun chatting though.
 
Houseguest has been searching hard for an apartment and a job. She is 99% sure she has found an apartment. The real estate agent told her it's a go. She has plans to meet with the owner on Sunday and sign a lease and give a check. She can then move in the following Sunday.

But miss pixi is invited to a party back in her home area that weekend. She is going to take about a week and visit more friends, go to this party. She is taking a bus. I swear, she is SO social these days. I am no introvert, but gosh, I am not as into large groups of friends and parties as she is. This is a new dynamic to get used to. Since she has grown in confidence as a woman, making great strides since I met her, her true outgoing nature is coming back into play.

Today her platonic (gay male) friend Tom is coming to go hiking with her and Houseguest, then she is going back to his place in Boston for an overnight. He wants to go shopping for items for his home on Saturday and wants her help. So, I will be apart from her for 24 hours, basically, and then next Thursday she is going all the way to NY for a week! And shit, I don't even have a bf to keep me company. I will just have to put on my big girl panties and deal.

As I said to her the other day, since the breakup, I feel kinda like I don't even know who I am anymore. I had planned to be with miss pixi and Ginger for a long long time, and now what?

Oh, btw, miss pixi told me that the mysterious pain in Ginger's side, that he'd thought was kidney cysts, but isn't, was diagnosed as a mere pulled or torn muscle. His dr gave him a topical NSAID to rub on, and it helps the pain and should help with healing. Since this was the last issue causing his ED, I am guessing he's back in good shape down there now, and can fuck his new lovers to his heart's content. Yay for them. :cool:
 
Houseguest signed her lease yesterday and will move in in 6 days. So happy for her. She's a great person and is making a new start in the north. She's on a job interview right now!

I got more info about Ginger out of miss pixi. Turns out she knew more than she was letting on, not knowing if I wanted to know or not.

A couple days ago, she told me how he asks about me. And thinks about me all the time.

Yesterday she told me, he told her, in the month since our breakup, Carla and David have broken up with him twice, and gotten back together!

Just now she told me he PMed her at 2:30AM last night to say Carla and David have decided to be mono again. It sounds like a permanent breakup.
 
Oy. I've been mostly off-board for a few days, but big hugs, Mags.
 
Thanks for the sympathies. I meant to write more details yesterday, but got busy.

I was surprised to hear about this third breakup because I saw pix on FB people from the drumming community were posting from the latest big late summer outdoor drum event. It was on Saturday and I was looking at the photos on Sunday. I saw pix of Ginger and Carla dancing together. The person that had taken and posted it had titled it Dancing Conversation.

I also saw a pic of Ginger with a big smile, having just had face paint art put on him by Carla. So I thought all was well.

But apparently about 24 hours later, they broke up with him again.

I also found out from miss pixi that even though Ginger's prostate and kidney issues seem resolved, and the side pain is a pulled muscle and now being treated with a topical pain reliever, he still had ED, and started Cialis, but it gave him headaches. So he is trying another medication.

Maybe if he was finally able to get a full erection, it was the last straw for David and his jealousy. :eek: :confused:

opalescent suggested if I want to stay friends with him, I wait 40 days from the breakup. That will be just 4 days from now. I think I will do it, say hi, just to see what happens.
 
Forty days came and went, O Lord. Heh, 40 just seems so Biblical.

I wasn't ready to contact Ginger, however. At day 40 and for a few days after, I asked myself, "Self? Are you ready to talk to him, build a friendship out of the rubble?"

Self kept being pissed off. So I decided to wait. I had the Houseguest here coming and going, with her sports and her apartment and job searches. I had to help miss pixi plan and get ready for another trip for her, to see some college buddies. She is SO social. She saw her camp friends at camp in late June. We saw her old high school hometown buddies in July. Now she is away on her own visiting college friends she hadn't seen in 4 years in another area of upstate NY. Also, today she should be at an ex bf's, visiting him and his husband. Their breakup was amicable, he is like a father figure to her now, being older (like me).

I am glad she went because I was not in a mood to be around people who are her good friends, but mere casual acquaintances of mine. We were also helping our friend Tom deal with his sudden separation and imminent divorce. Hard for me to dig deep and find ways to help him, when I was in a similar boat.

But! I did well with helping Houseguest. She found a really cute apartment about 15 miles away, she spent a couple days moving in, bought a bed, and slept there for the first time last night! And miss p is gone til Friday and I have 3 days to myself! Now can I finally make some real progress processing my grief? to be continued...
 
Yesterday Ginger got back in touch with me himself. He FB messaged me in mid afternoon saying he is missing me a lot and wonders how I am.

I was busy helping Houseguest move, and I wanted time to think about what to say, if I responded at all.

Finally this morning I took the plunge and messaged him back. We chatted about half an hour, with pauses in between posts, since I am sure we were both trying to say things in the calmest least drama way possible.

He told me he is having a tough time, but is sure he will "rally and flourish as always." :rolleyes:

I know he must be all sad because he went from 5 lovers to 1! His wife is all that is left, and as we know, they aren't all that intimate.

He said at first he was relieved we weren't hurting each other all the time, but now he is missing me. I replied, maybe because it didn't work out with C&D, or so I have heard? He first denied that, but then said it was a possibility, the 2 grievings are all twisted up in odd ways.

(Of course I was being all sarcastic in my head, thinking, you made your bed, now it's empty; you got what you deserved for being so careless!)

He then wanted to know how I was doing, and I said I've been too busy to process the breakup properly so am glad for some time alone, finally!

I said, I was glad for miss pixi to be away seeing friends, and he said, that seems healthy for her. I said, Yes, she deserves some fun. I've put her through hell with all my angst around him for the past year. All this past year she's been so supportive when I've been sad and hurt.

Then he said he feels bad about me being sad and hurt.

Then he wondered if we'd talked enough for now? I thought it over, and then asked, You're still being friends with those 2 even though the sex is over? He said, it's very complicated, they see each other at events, he chats both on IM every day, and David had come over yesterday. David, who had "pulled the plug." But somehow he thinks their friendships are strong.

I said that sounds painful and messy, to still be in contact daily. But if it works for him, that is what matters.

Then he said, "I used to know how to be happy and content with no lovers [other] than R. I'm sure I will figure it out again. The transition is a bit of a shock to the system though.
I know I have thought about you every day since our break up, both before and since the break up with them.
I've tried to give you space but it has been hard.
And you? Can you tell me anything about your love life?"

Hmph. It used to drive me crazy how he thought I needed sex, but he only wanted it, and could easily go without. I always thought that was so hypocritical, since he had an operation that put him almost completely out of sexual commission, but he still seemed compelled to pursue a romantic SEXUAL relation with those 2 jokers, poly noobs, and neglected my needs big time.

Hmph!

He's still clueless.

But anyway, I didn't address that. I answered him about my love life. How miss pixi has been too distracted with friends, and too shy with the Houseguest in the next room, to have had much interest in sex (we've been averaging about once a week since June, bleh). How I had a couple okc guys interested in me, but they didn't work out.

He wanted more details, but I told him I didn't want to talk about it. He was sorry I wasn't getting more sex from miss pixi. He had the gall to say, "I know you deal with droughts less well than I do. I want you to be happy."

Ha! So fucking patronizing, but I am sure he thought he was being very kind. That is the one time I let my sarcasm burst out, saying, "You want me to be happy. Hmph." Then I said, "gonna say bye now. maybe we can talk in a couple weeks." He said, "I'd like that. At the full moon." He must have looked at his calendar and put a note to msg me then, and noticed it was full moon. Like that matters or I care. But that's him, being all hippy and non sequiter and no brain to mouth filter.

So, that was that. Gives me more fodder to mull over during my blessed 3 days of me time.

Comments welcome!
 
Been about 9 days since miss pixi returned from her trip. We've been bonding and reconnecting the whole time, and it's been great. We've been hanging out restfully, doing small household projects, going to the beach together, and yes, kissing, cuddling, flirting and having sex! Yay! We are all lovey and tight again.

Seeing friends has been kept to a minimum. We did go to Tom's divorce party to support him. He redecorated his apartment to rid himself of his ex's essence. It was nice to see it all fresh with his own personality all over it now.

Tonight we are going to Houseguest's new apartment to see how it's all set up. She's invited a couple other friends and we will have dinner.

I am feeling so much better now. Been reading a lot, doing my little hobbies, yardwork/gardening, etc. Definitely feeling more centered and grounded than I have felt in months!

Also been chatting with my newly sober, married and pregnant daughter and she is still healthy and happy. This is an incredible relief.

I guess in a day or 3 I will chat with Ginger, as I told him I would. I might even invite him over for a face to face and see how that goes... I am a bit nervous, I admit. I don't want anything to harsh my new feeling of peace. We will see.
 
Okay, I was a woman of my word and messaged Ginger yesterday morning. We talked for 3 hours. What were the highlights of the talk?

First we chit-chatted about random things: me feeling very happy and more centered and rebonded with miss pixi after a busy summer. How we went to the beach and enjoyed it. How our former Houseguest is in her new apt and about to start her job, doing her sports and thriving. I also mentioned having seen Ginger's pix on his FB from Worcester Pride last weekend and how he looked cute and happy. He is doing lots of wood cutting on his land now to get ready for winter and feeling healthy doing it.

Then on to heavier topics. He is still chatting C&D regularly, and cares about them both deeply. It seems David comes over now and then, but has vetoed a romantic relationship for his wife, Carla. So no one-on-one visits for them! But Ginger sees them about every week at drumming community events.

He seemed bitter and somewhat angry at David for the veto, understandably. "Vetoes are bullshit" were his words. However, he really likes the guy, so I guess is trying to be patient. He mentioned he didn't know if any closeness will remain between him and them in the future.

I didn't ask for any more details.

We discussed his various health issues. His prostate is well healed. He has been seeing a physical therapist for his back pain, which was a torn muscle. It is healed, but he is doing stretches to strengthen it.

He said sex used to make it hurt the most, which would cause ED. However, he hasn't had sex in a month, except solo, and seems eager to try it.

I asked about his public flirting with the 3 women on Fetlife. He said they mean nothing to him, even though one gave him her phone number. They are all long distances away.

I talked about how I am enjoying being mono with miss pixi right now, the simplicity, the peace, after 5+ years of being actively poly. I also said, I have lowered expectations of him now. How I was in love with an idealized, NRE-influenced idea of him, that turned out to be inaccurate. Now? I guess I sort of love him for the things about him I enjoy, but then there's all this other stuff. He seemed eager to listen and find out where my head is at. He wants to still be in my/our lives, work on miss pixi's bike, help us with household projects. He wondered if that were possible.

I said, he is "wild," everyone calls him that. Mostly because of the free way he dances, I think. He said he calls himself wild, but honestly thinks that is just a facade. I said, I thought he was more "domestic and loyal" than he turned out to be.

to be continued...
 
Continued...

I tried, once again, to get him to tell me WHY he needs or wants so many lovers. God, it was like pulling teeth. He mentioned how sometimes when he gets too tight with someone, he finds himself pulling back, since "accommodating" others can make him feel like he is losing himself.

But that wasn't really the case with me. He didn't feel like he was losing a sense of himself. "Carla came into my life and I liked her there," he said.

Finally we came to some kind of conclusion, that he likes his independence. And that had to be my final answer.

Then we rehashed a few more things from the last year and his r'ship with C&D, his prostate issues, and how it all blew up.

Then we went on to, what now? Do we want to resume on some kind of level, or not? I am happy now being a "lesbian," lots of sex with miss pixi right now, even streaming Orange is the New Black for more lesbian loving on our TV.

But he and I did have great sexual chemistry and shared other interests. So he said, IF we are to resume, we'd need to have the safer sex talk. So we went ahead with that.

I said, my status hasn't changed in 2 months. Then, after 3 hours of talking, he revealed he spent an evening with (nickname) Older Lady. They had sex with a condom. I was all, who the heck is she? We talked it over; he averred he'd told me about her before our breakup. She lives about 25 miles away. He told me where she works, and that she is a widow. They have been chatting for 4 months and she has "become a good friend."

I didn't remember her. I was floored that he decided to mention her 3 hours into our conversation, rather than 1 hour in when I was asking him about the Fetlife flirting! Once again, Mr Literal strikes.

He said, he and she had sex before his breakup with C&D. So him saying he hasn't had sex in the last month is accurate. I then told him abruptly I hadn't eaten yet and had a headache (true) and had to go.

To be continued...
 
After we stopped chatting I searched his FB friends and found Older Lady. I recognized her face but not her name. Odd. But then I realized he'd told me she'd first contacted him on OK Cupid. (I must have looked at her okc profile, which explains recognizing her face but not her real name. All I'd had was her screenname. Of course then, her existence went right out of my mind with all the other shit going on.)

At the time she first contacted him, he was freshly into the C&D thing and trying to hold onto me and miss pixi, so he told Older Lady he wasn't available, but they could chat from time to time. However, she messaged him again a few days later to ask his advice about certain losses in her life. Her husband, father and MIL had all fairly died recently and she wanted support and I guess Ginger seemed like a good support system? Also of course, he has told her all about me, and C&D, all the shit, the breakups, and she's been his support! How convenient. Once he and I broke up, she just slid into a slot of his new availability. (I have to wonder if she thinks he is a train wreck now, with his odd social skills causing 3 breakups this summer!)

So last night I messaged Ginger again, apologized for leaving our former conversation abruptly, and he understood. But I did express my frustration and upset that he hadn't told me about Older Lady until 3 hours into our convo, rather than when I was fishing about any prospects he had when asking about the FL women!

Gah, I told him this just happens so much with him. We can go along, talkng nicely, getting along, being cordial, working at being on the same page. I get lulled and feel loved and cared for and then BAM! He says something hurtful out of left field! (This is Asperger's behavior)

sigh... Then he said, Older Lady and he only had sex the one time and he didnt know if it would happen again. She has another guy she's been seeing and might go mono with him.

I said, but you're emotionally linked with her now. Yes, that was true, he said. Gah, I said if you'd have told me this earlier in our convo, the convo would've gone much differently. He said, how was he to know I would've wanted to know about her earlier? He said I didnt ask specifically if he was seeing anyone else.

I said, I am not seeing anyone else. I am too reboundy. I said, he is rebounding from our breakup right into Older Lady's heart.

I don't understand how he can have been dealing with our breakup, dealing with the rocky C&D r'ship (not to mention the ED), and still have time, energy, motivation to have gotten so close with Older Lady and have even gone and seen her and had sex!

He says he likes to have close connections with people. But god, how close can he be with so many? My thoughts, which I didn't share: His getting close with C&D and all the others in the past 1+ year led me to feel like he is actually SHALLOW. The closeness is an illusion. The real caring and dependability and r'ship maintenance goes out the window.

Bleh. I was brought back to how exhausting it all is, to be with a guy with so much freeking DRAMA in his life. I am so enjoying my peace and simplicity with miss pixi!

I remember our good sex, but in my current state I am not sure I would even be able to relax, enjoy, suck his various body parts, and cum well. Grrr...
 
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A few days after our previous online 3 hour chat, we had another one.

This time, Ginger asked a couple times, what about our future? I said, well there are 3 ways it could go. FWBs, platonic friends, or no relationship at all, just drift apart. Being tight bf and gf, I do not think will ever work again, not when he is so actively looking for another partner.

Again, I had to try very hard to understand what his emotions and needs and ... mission is, in dating so much. He had insisted, before we broke up, that he reserved the right to date 5 or 10 people at once. He was free and autonomous and that was his right.

Now he has softened that stance (which I think was mere belligerent posturing) and admitted he wants 2 tight r'ships, which could be me and one other steady partner (leaving his nearly asexual wife, and miss p, out of the equation).

So, all his dating was not for the love of juggling so many, but merely the "kissing a lot of frogs before you find the One," kind of thing. And I could finally relate to that, because it was similar to what I was doing when I was power dating back in 2009-2011.

Although my motivations were also to experience variety after being mono for 30+ years, and also to explore kink and my lesbian side.

I told Ginger that when he was dating a lot, I felt neglected and more like his mom than his sex kitten gf. Listening to his descriptions about sex dates with this or that woman, or David, was making me feel like my role was to merely support him without feeling valued as the sexy wonderful desirable person I am.

He told me he didn't need a mom, so I told him specifically about two times (out of many) this was the case. He then seemed to get it and apologized, saying he acted in "stupid" ways.

So. Meanwhile, he is lonely and not getting to have sex with anyone. We used to have sex three times a week, and he was having threesome sex with C&D, and now, since Older Lady is avoiding seeing him again, he hasn't had partnered sex in a month.

However, I have been having wonderful daily sex and lots of flirting and cuddling throughout the day with miss pixi (thank god), so I seem to have the upper hand. He is probably getting pretty desperate. I seem to be his only hope for sex right now, since he finally admitted he is still in rebound mode from our breakup, and the breakup with his couple, and is a "mess," and wouldn't be "able to do a good job" relating to a new person presently.

I have been running all this new info past miss pixi. Her insight is that Ginger asking me about "our future" is code for, "Can I come over and fuck you now???"

In fact, at the end of this second three-hour talk, he said, "I am wondering if we should take a hike and talk and see what we are like together."

I was about to go out when he said that, so I didn't respond... My idea is that the sexual chemistry will be there, but in conflict, for me, with all the hurt feelings and lack of understanding we've gone through.

Two nights in a row, he said his "Good night" on FB chat, which used to be his nightly ritual when we were a couple. I responded with a *wink* the first night, but didn't respond the second night. Last night he didn't say it.
 
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